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HEAET WHISPERS; 



OK, 



% l^^F W^P^ %^ Jf^i^^ils €mim, 



INTERSPERSED WITH SKETCHES OF A TOUR THROUGH 
NINE SOUTHERN STATES. 



CONTAIXEB 



IN A SERIES OF LETTERS TO HIS WIFE. 



BY WILLIAM ATSON, 



FORMERLY OF " 




PHILXujt^LPHIA 

IL COWPERTHWAIT k CO. 

1859. 






^ \ 



■V 



Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1859, by 

H. COWPERTHWAIT & CO., 

in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the Eastern District of 
Pennsylvania. 



HEARS tc DUSENBERT, STERE0TTPER3. 8MITH t PETERS, PRINTERS. 



I^art Sifeisprs 



ARE 

PRAYERFULLY PRESENTED 

BY 

«A NON-PROFESSIXG" AND FREE-THINKING 

COSMOPOLITE 

TO 

WOMAN AND TO MAN, 

HOPING THEY WILL INSPIRE THE LATTER AVITH A MORE DELICATE 
HOME CHIVALRY, 

AND 

CHARU BOTH INTO THE PRACTICE OP A MORE HUMANE AND 
PLEASANT PHILOSOPHY, 

A MORE CHEERFUL AND CHARITABLE CHRISTIANITY. 



INTRODUCTORY, 



Memphis, Tenn., October 21, 1856. 

Jonathan Public, Esq., 

Dear Sir : — If you condescend to notice at all the 
little book herewith forwarded you, your first inquiry will 
probably be, " What reasons induced you to present it to 
me ?" To save you the trouble of racking your mighty 
brain, or opening your august mouth, I will tell you in 
advance. I present you this book, because it was written 
to cheer my wife and benefit my children ; and, as our fami- 
lies are very similar in dispositions and tastes, I thought it 
might cheer your wife and benefit your children. Many 
of the latter, with all their fondness for "hyfilutin" and 
humbuggery, love the simple, the natural, and the true ; 
and, in the language of Dickens, " From my own obser- 
vation of the chances and changes of life I am inclined 
to think that every man, provided he can make up his 
mind to speak the truth, simply and plainly, has it in 
his power to contribute something out of his own expe- 
rience, which may add in a greater or less degree to our 

(6) 



VI INTRODUCTORY. 

general knowledge of human nature in its almost infinite 
varieties. In my own case my contribution may be the 
merest mite, but as anything is better than keeping even 
my poor farthingworth of information selfishly to my- 
self, I will take a bold step and cast it forthwith as 
modestly as may be into the general public store." 

Satisfied with this general defence of my presumption, 
you may then inquire, " Why, sir, in presuming to pre- 
sent these letters to me, did you not dress them in a 
fine style, erase the commonplace, and systematize your 
political and theological theories?" Had I done so, 
dear Mr. Public, my book would not have contained the 
heart whispers of an afi'ectionate husband to a loving 
wife, but instead thereof would have been filled with cold 
and polished addresses to your honourable self by a 
money-loving or fame-seeking scribbler. So many of 
this sort are imposing their ofi'erings upon you at this 
time, I really hoped you would be pleased at something 
, out of the laced-up, corset-board, artificial line. 

To bring the matter home, allow me, oh King of 
American sovereigns, to ask. Do you dress up your letters 
to your wife in a fine style ? Do you address her in a 
continuously elegant strain ? Do you use no common- 
place or conversational terms ? Do you systematize into 
logical treatises your political and religious theories ? 
Or do you simply permit your thoughts to slip out with- 
out constraint, and pen them without regard to order, 



INTRODUCTORY. Vn 

being surprised if the blotted page contains anything 
worthy of perusal ? 

Tell the truth, " old fellow," — would you not deny the 
reality of these letters, and accuse me, you old scoun- 
drel, of having manufactured them specially for you, 
had they been written with a systematic and elegant 
accuracy ? 

To your good Lady, who may doubt my ability to 
write in this manner, please present a copy of " The 
Vision," and inform her that I am its author. 

Oblige me by requesting your metaphysical son, who 
may suppose from the plainness of my writing that I am 
deficient in profundity, not to propagate this opinion 
until he peruses my forthcoming work on " The Psy- 
chology of Creation," which will " knock the black out" 
of Emerson and Carlyle ; and be so profound that the 
Devil himself can't understand it. To the silly members 
of your family, who may declare they can learn nothing 
from my book, say ''the author foresaw that result.''' 
The silly are always self-conceited ; and self-conceit is a 
great stupifier even of strong intellects. 

To the sensible and good-hearted, who think they see 
intended kindness in my severest criticisms, and good 
seed gathered from the common-place details of practical 
life, garnered in every simple fact recorded on every 
simple page, return my thanks, and tell them, for their 
sakesj I resisted the temptation to " fix up" these letters, 



Vm INTRODUCTORY. 

to convert this natural and real into an artificial and 
fictitious record, this work of the heart into one of the 
head. 

"This is all very satisfactory," you may reply, "pro- 
vided ' The Vision' comes up to my wife's ideas of 
elegant composition, and * The Psychology of Creation* 
is as profound as you assert it to be ; but what defence 
can you ofier for your critiques on the churches, your 
political diatribes, and your personalities?" 

Can it be possible any church will be so bigoted as to 
murmur at the gentle chidings of a friend ? 

Can it be possible that a great political party, in the 
zenith of its power, will be so weak as to fear the dis- 
connected whisperings of a husband to his wife ? 

With regard to personalities I merely say, whenever 
you find any living private person, whose cheeks these 
whispers legitimately tinge with a blush, inform me, 
and I will explain, if necessary, why I fooled you only 
on one point. 

I do not think the exhibition of these letters to you 
will lessen your high opinion of Mrs. Atson, though she 
fears the discovery that she was so weak as to marry a 
man who is foolish enough to think her the greatest 
woman in the world will have this efiect. 

As to the litttle Atsons — 

Alice, Willie, 
Anna, Nellie, 



INTRODUCTORY. IX 

— they are my sweet property ; and though the living 
ones are too young to regard your opinion, I hope you 
■will seek their acquaintance, admire their innocent 
countenances, fall in love with their pleasant ways, re- 
member them hereafter with deep affection, and be ever 
ready to protect them, and those like them, with your 
strong arms and potent influence. 

To relieve the demands of my extreme conscientious- 
ness, it may not be amiss to state that, in saying I have 
not "fixed up" the accompanying letters, I do not mean 
to deny that in copying them for you and yours I have 
crossed the t's, dotted the i's, omitted the beautiful 
blotches that adorn the original manuscripts, and made 
a few other immaterial alterations. I have taken this 
liberty with the originals partly for the purpose of 
enabling good readers to read them aloud without diffi- 
culty. Collected together thus, they constitute a family 
hook ; and I thought some parents in your great family 
might possibly prefer that those assembled after tea, 
around the family fireside, should listen even to their 
dry details, rather than waste the long evening in 
dreamy idleness, silly talk, or slanderous gossip. 

Should there be any such parents, I would suggest 
the propriety of banishing on such occasions all con- 
firmed old bachelors. 

In nothing has Providence displayed more beneficence 
than in endowing good husbands and good fathers with 
2 



X INTRODUCTORY. 

a conjugal and a parental sense, ly which they detect 
peculiar charms in their wives and in their children. 
I, you will perceive, possess these senses to a wonder- 
ful degree. Confirmed old bachelors being utterly 
destitute of them, could not possibly comprehend or 
appreciate the discoveries I have made relative to the 
dear objects of my affection, and would chill the glow 
of these conjugal and paternal effusions by their pre 
sence, even though they should withhold their sceptical 
surmises, idiotic sneers, and senseless criticisms. 

With these explanations and suggestions, I yield to 
your consideration and keeping these delicate breath- 
ings of my soul. 

Yours respectfully, 

William Atson. 



CONTENTS. 



PAGK 

INTRODUCTORY- 
LETTER TO JONATHAN PUBLIC, ESQ. ..... 5-10 



PART I. 

MISSISSIPPI. NEW ORLEANS. TEXAS. MEMPHIS. 
LETTER 1 27 

LETTER XL— 

A FEEBLE ATTEMPT TO JOURNALIZE A LETTER — A FACT — FIC- 
TION — TRUTH — THE STAGE — OLD TIMES — MISS MOLLY MUR- 
RAY — MARRYING A POOR GIRL 28-32 

LETTER III.-. 

GENTLEMEN — ROWDIES — TOM FRAIERSON — HAPPINESS — MIS- 
ERY — THE WAY TO PRAISE A WIFE 33-37 

LETTER IV.— 

COMPOSITION POLITENESS — IMPOLITENESS — VICKSBURG — ■ 

PERSEVERANCE — ADVANTAGES OF ADVERSITY — A CRISIS — 
PRAYER — WHO IS A FOOL, ETC. 38-43 

LETTER v.— 

MISERY AND DEATH — COURAGE — ATSON's WILL — HONEST 

FROM PRINCIPLE 43-47 

LETTER VI.— 

ECONOMICAL FAMILY — A GENIUS — A LOVELY YOUNG LADY — 
SENDING FROM HOME — SCHOOLS — STAGE AND HORSEBACK 
TRIP — A DUCKING — GETTING ON THE WRONG BOAT — THE 
MAGNOLIA — NEW ORLEANS — A GENTLEMAN WITH A GRAND 
AIR — THE THEATRE 47-57 

LETTER VII.— 

TEXAS — GEOGRAPHY OF " LAVACA BAy" — THE AUTHOR IX 

LOVE — TREACHERY — A PRESCRIPTION .... 57-63 

(11) 



Xll CONTENTS. 



LETTER VIIL— 

TEXAS — TUE BLUDGET — SEA SICKNESS — A BAY SUNSET — 
HOSPITALITY — LITTLE BOGGY — STORM AT MATAGORDA^ — 
GEORGE WASHINGTON 63-71 

LETTER IX.— 

SERMON IN TEXAS — " SWEAT" — THOUGHTS IN THE PRAIRIE . 72-80 



LETTER X.— 



ATSON S RELIGIOUS DOGMAS TOM MOORE S THEOLOGY COR- 
RECTED — LIFK IS A BATTLE — MEN MAKE THEMSELVES MI- 
SERABLE — OLD V.'OMEN LONG FOR MISERY — THE AVAY TO 
TRANSACT BUSINESS RAPIDLY — OUR FLOAV^ERS . . . 81-85 



LETTER XL- 



TOOK THE WRONG ROAD — TOBACCO — A WOMAN SMOKER^DIP- 
PING YOUNG LADIES — CRANES — WILD GEESE AND DEER — 
HILLY PRAIRIE 86-91 



LETTER XIL— 



BRENHAM. LANDLORD, -WASHINGTON — "BOB WILKINS — 
COUNTRY BETWEEN WASHINGTON AND INDEPENDENCE — IN- 
DIA RUBBER— m'CHRISTY's — CALDWELL — DAVID flIGGASON 91-96 



LETTER XIIL 



TEXAS — LITTLE RIVER — FERRYMAN — A PARTY — TREACHE- 
ROUS AGENT — A KNAVE IS A FOOL — BELTON — AN ARCADIAN 
VALE — let's move TO TEXAS 96-100 



LETTER XIV. 



A DUTCHMAN — CONSULT THE FEELINGS OF YOUR HORSE — A 
NEW WAY TO REST ONE — TEXAS LEGISLATURE — POLITICS 
— A SPEECH SHORT AS THE "VENI VIDI VICl" LETTER — 
MUSIC AT boston's — A DELIGHTFUL FAMILY — A HORSE 
TRADE, AND THE AUTHOR IN LOVE AGAIN . . . 101-109 



LETTER XV.- 



THE GULP AGAIN — NEW ORLEANS — THE MISSISSIPPI — NAT- 
CHEZ — VICKSBURG — MEMPHIS 110-119 



PART II. 

NASHVILLE. GEORGIA. ALABAMA. MISSISSIPPI AGAIN. 

LETTER XVI 123-124 

LETTER XVII.— 

MURFREESBOROUGH CITY HOTEL — " FANNY FERN" — MRS. LEE 

HENTZ — "SEQUEL TO LINDA" — A SLY WAY OF DOING GOOD 124-128 



CONTENTS. Xili 



LETTER XVIII.— 

A TALK WITH A D. D. — THE INFERNAL MACHINE — A FATHER 
AND A CREATOR — THE DIFFERENCE — 13 MY THEOLOGT 

WRONG? — "mammy" 129-137 



LETTER XIX.— 



REMEDY FOR HOME-SICKNESS — THE AUTHORS HELM — HIS 
WAY OP BEING HAPPY — A FAVOURITE PASTOR — WHO 
DRINKS 137-141 



LETTER XX.— 



COLLEGE ANECDOTES — MRS. P. AND MRS. R. — THE REASON 
PEOPLE TREAT THE AUTHOR KINDLY — A PRACTICAL ILLUS- 
TRATION — NASHVILLE — CLODKNOCKERS AT HOME IN THE 
STATE HOUSE — A RIDE BETWEEN NASHVILLE AND CHATTA- 
NOOGA — LOOKOUT MOUNTAIN 142-150 



LETTER XXI. 



APEX OF LOOKOUT — A HUGGING AND KISSING COUPLE — 
THREE DAYS IN KNOXVILLE — HAPPINESS IN TRIBULATION 
— ROME — MACAULAY — THE KENNESAAV — ATLANTA — TWO 
LITTLE SECRETS — THE AUTHOR CONFESSES HIS SINS — NOT 
TO A PRIEST, BUT TO A PRIESTESS — AN INTERESTING CON- 
VERSATION INTERRUPTS THE CONFESSION .... 150-160 

LETTER XXII.— 

WHITE-FOOTED HORSES — GEORGIA — GEORGIA COMPARED 
WITH TEXAS AND FLORIDA — THE PEOPLE IN THE PINEY 
COUNTRY — THE UNPARDONABLE SIN — CLASSIFICATION OP 
THE HUMAN FAMILY BASED ON BUTTER — HIGH WATER— ^ 
THOUGHTS IN THE WILDERNESS — MUSIC — POETRY — CHAT- 
TAHOOCHIE, INDIAN NAMES — THE AUTHOR THINKS OF BE- 
COMING AN EDITOR — CRITICISM OF HIS WIFE'S LETTER . 161-171 

LETTER XXIIL— 

THE WAY TO CHEER A SICKLY OR GLOOMY WIFE . . . 171-174 



LETTER XXIV. 



THE AUTHOR MEETS WITH KIN-FOLKS, AT WAHALAK, AND HIS 

MATCH AT JOKING DESCRIBES A MOBILE FAMILY — THE 

OLD MAN AND HIS HOBBY — THE AUTHOR IN LOVE AGAIN — 
MONTGOMERY, ALA. — HALF-CITIES — LANIER . . . 175-18© 



XW CONTENTS. 



PAUT III. 

GEORGIA. SOUTH CAROLINA. NORTH CAROLINA. VIRGINIA. 
EAST TENNESSEE. 

PAGB 

LETTER XXV.— 

ANOTHER STAGE TRIP — LADIES ALONG — MERCANTILE GAL- 
LANTRY — SOME FUN — A MESSAGE TO THE NEGROES . . 183-185 



LETTER XXVI. 



PREFERS DAUGHTERS TO SONS — A CAUTION TO A HAUGHTY 
PERSON — DELICATE PRAISE — A GOOD TONIC FOR A SENSI- 
TIVE AND SICKLY WIFE — A PRESCRIPTION WHICH WOULD 
ASTONISH THE HUSBAND OP A FAST WOMAN — THE CHILDREN 185-189 

LETTER XXVIL— 

NORTH ALABAMA — M. OF HUNTS VILLE — HUNTS VILLE ENTHU- 
SIASM — HUNTSVILLE AGAIN — THE MILLIONAIRES — SICK- 
NESS AND TREATMENT 190-194 

LETTER XXVIIL— 

EPICURUS — GEORGIA — " NIL DESPERANDUM" — DESCRIPTION 
OF A PECULIAR SPECIES OF INHABITANTS IN ORANGEBURG 
AND ANDERSON, S. C. — A FIGHT WITH THEM — FORGIVENESS 
— THE HUGGING COUPLE AGAIN — THE CITY OF CHARLESTON 
A PLEASANT ELIXIR FOR THE ABOLITIONISTS — ST. MI- 
CHAEL'S 195-204 

LETTER XXIX.— 

SUNDAY — HOME — " LITTLE DORRITT" — DICKENS — CLAY — THE 

DAYS OF YORE 205-209 

LETTER XXX.— 

COLUMBIA, S. C. — ANOTHER EFFORT TO CHEER A SICKLY WIPE 
— A CHEERING PRESCRIPTION — FASHIONABLE HUMILITY 
— THE LITTLE WASHERWOMAN — THE BEAUTIFUL STORY- 
TELLER — CHILDHOOD 210-219 

LETTER XXXL- 

MISS MOLLY MURRAY AND HENRY CLAY — THE PRAISES OF HIS 
FOES — THE INJUSTICE OF HIS FRIENDS — COMPARISON OP 
CLAY, WEBSTER, AND CALHOUN — CLAY'S ONLY SUPERIOR 
— THE MEETING BETWEEN CLAY AND HIS ONLY EQUAL — 
THE AUTHOR DETERMINES HOW TO VOTE .... 219-223 

LETTER XXXIL— 

BASHFULNESS — IRRITABILITY — DEMOCRACY — TRAVELS 

CLAY — LETTER FROM HOME — CHILDREN SUNDAY-SCHOOL 

— SOUTH CAROLINA — POLITICS— A DIST'NIONIST — THE UNION 
— KANSAS — TWO STRANGE SIGHTS — STAGE TRIP TO GOLDS- 

BORO 224-232 



CONTENTS. XV 



LETTER XXXIIL— 

JOHN RAMPSAY AND WOMAN — HIS RESEMBLANCE TO A CER- 
TAIN CONGRESSMAN — TWO TRIPS WITH LADIES — REASONS 
FOR NOT KISSING ONE — MEETS WITH A HANDSOME WOMAN 

A SANGUINE MAN — GEORGIA — SOUTH CAROLINA — NORTH 

CAROLINA — AN UNHAPPY NEGRO — SLAVERY — A SUMMARY 
OP MY SIGHT-SEEINGS — HOW A FAMILY SHOULD TREAT A 
QUARRELSOME MEMBER 233-243 

LETTER XXXIV. 

DANVILLE — WELDON — MURFREESBOROUGH — DOCTOR HAN- 
KINS AND HIS MIXTURE — WARRENTON — HENDERSON 

RALEIGH — LETTERS FROM HOME — THE AUTHOR — HIS TA- 

TENTS — HIS CHILDREN, ETC. — J., OP MEMPHIS — POLITICS . 244-255 

LETTER XXXV.— 

ENGINE OFF THE TRACK — SCARY PERSONS — POLITENESS OP 
WHITE WOMEN AND " BLACKS" CONTRASTED — LYNCHBURG 
— KISSES STRANGE WOMEN — LIFE INSURANCE . . . 256-260 

LETTER XXXVL— 

author's CHILDHOOD — LYNCHBURG — LOVE OP OUR BIRTH- 
PLACE — WISE, JEFFERSON, WASHINGTON COMPARISON OF 

STATES — THE PHILOSOPHY OP CONTENTMENT — THE PHILO- 
SOPHER'S STONE — " PENNING MEN" — A.'s AMBITION — POLI- 
TICAL EXPLANATION — WHIG AND DEMOCRATIC PARTIES — 
SLAVERY — ABOLITION — " MAMMY" 261-283 

LETTER XXXVIL— 

"the SOLEMN — THE SERIO-COMIC — AND THE SILLY** . .284-293 

LETTER XXXVIIL— 

UGLINESS AND WEALTH — BEAUTY AND POVERTY — " OUR 
BUDS" — OLD VIRGINIA — " AMELIA" — '* MRS. FRENCH" — AN 

EPIC POEM — THE MATERIALS FOR — DEFINITION OF LADY 

OF GENTLEMAN — HUMAN NATURE — SELF — HANDWRITING — 

EFFECT OP CHILDREN 293-309 

LETTER XXXIX.— 

EGOTISTICAL — CONFESSIONS — IS A MAN BOUND TO HEAR AN 
INFERIOR PREACHER? — METHODIST PREACHERS — KNOTT, 
CHAPMAN, BASKERVILLE — THWEATT's PORTRAIT — THE 
EPISCOPAL CHURCH — AN IMBECILE EPISCOPAL MINISTER — 
THE LITURGY — THE BAPTIST CHURCH — THE PRESBYTERIAN 
CHURCH — TWO PRESBYTERIAN MINISTERS — PREDESTINA- 
TION AND MORAL AGENCY — THEIR CHILDREN — HUMILITY 
AND CHARITY — RECAPITULATION — AND NOW FOR HOME . 310--330 



XVI CONTENTS. 



EXTRACTS FROM "A BOOK OF THOUGHTS AND TALK/' 

PAGE 

THE HEIGHT OP INCONSISTENCY 333 

A QUESTION ABOUT THE SEXES 333 

ANSWER TO THE FOREGOING QUERY 334 

ADVERTISEMENT 334 

TALKING IS NOT ARGUING 335 

A MINISTER CAN BE SAVED 337 

ADVICE TO A YOUNG BRIDEGROOM 337 

C, ALABAMA 338 

THE WAY GOD TEACHES SCHOOL 339 

FLOGGING 339 

THE LITTLE GIRLS — GOD BLESS THEM 340 

SCEPTICAL 340 

BROOKS AND SUMNER. A PRESCRIPTION FOR DISUNIONISTS . . 341 

PAULINE 345 

A GEORGIA LAWYER 346 

A TALK ABOUT FIGHTING. BE PEACEABLE IF YOTJ CAN — FIGHT IP YOU 

MUST 348 

MACAULAY. THE TWO KINGS. CATHOLICISM 356 

POPERY 357 

the husband op a fast woman 358 

dancing, swearing, etc 358 

"confound" 358 

the way to retain parental influence ..... 359 

the effect op such teaching . . . . . . . 359 

how to swear 359 

miss nellie atson 360 

letter of introduction 360 

"THE avoman's law" 360 

WHAT GOD IS 366 

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS 366 

FINIS 367 



PART I. 



MISSISSIPPI. NEW ORLEANS. TEXAS. MEMPHIS. 



LETTER I. 

Jackson, Miss., December 20, 1855. 

Dear Molly : — I do not intend to write you a letter to-night. 
Stage-travelling and letter-writing are not at all compatible. 
With the exception of a little rest at Columbus, I have been 
moving day and night. I started at 6 o'clock yesterday morn- 
ing for this place, and have been tossing up hill and down, 
until I reached the cars, twelve and a half miles from here, 
this afternoon. 

I would not write at all now, but I do not wish you to be ia 
suspense. To-morrow night I shall be on the Magnolia, and 
then after resting, I can collect my wandering thoughts and 
centre them upon home, children, wife. It is not however for 
the want of thoughts about you all that I do not proceed. 
They throng in abundance about me. " Beauty,'^ Anna, Alice, 
yourself — your images are all before me. They inspire me as 
I travel. They stimulate me to go forward. They make 
pleasing the prospect of my return. Physical indisposition 
arising from fatigue, and the want of time, are the real reasons 
which induce me to forego the pleasure of pleasing you by a 
long talk on paper. 

Kiss the children for me ; excuse me for disappointing you ; 
and accept afresh love no less ardent and much deeper and 

(27) 



28 A rfiEr behind the family curtain; 

more durable, than that of the honeymoon, from your affec- 
tionate husband; 

William Atson. 



LETTER II. 

A feeble attempt to journalize a letter. — A fact. — Fiction. — Truth. — Th© 
stage. — Old Times.— Miss Molly Murray. — Marrying a poor girl. 

ViCKSBURG, December 21, 1855. 

Dear Molly : — (Dec. 12.) Having finished an offering 
sacred to friendship, written sundry business letters^ arranged 
my papers, and '^ packed up" for a long journey, arose early, 
ate breakfast, kissed and rekissed wife and children, and told 
the servants " good-bye," I mounted a mule and rode to the 
station. There I bade farewell to Billy, and jumped on the 
cars as soon as they arrived- 

On them I found * * * several friends. These soon " got 
off,'' leaving me without any acquaintance but Kendall. Just 
as we were arriving at Saulsbury, I embraced a private oppor- 
tunity to tell him the only way to cure a disease or settle a 
difficulty was to remove the cause ; that Mrs. D. was perfectly 
honest, did not understand deceit or trickery, and could never 
respect him, or her young son, unless the suspicion of delibe- 
rate treachery on their part were removed from her mind; that 
the fact that the deed was done in a hurry and not deliberately, 
being begun and consummated in one day, would tend greatly 
to exculpate the beloved boy, but that she understood him to 
have promised her not to take advantage of her hospitality and 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 29 

hie association with her soa to induce him to enlist for Nica- 
ragua. He admitted having made the promise, said he 
originally designed fulfilling it, and would have notified her 
of his change of intention, but for the hurry produced by the 
expected departure of the volunteers. 

I am willing to view this matter charitably. I do not think 
Kendall did what he regarded at the time as an unjustifiable 
violation of a solemn and sacred contract — a contract which 
entered into, and took hold of the sensitive fibres of a mother's 
heart. I do not believe he thought he was doing a mean 
thing ; and a man should never be considered mean until he 
deliberately commits what he himself believes to be a mean 
act : I still think he is a clever fellow and intends to do right. 
But I am sorry he made the contract, and still more sorry that 
he violated it. With a knowledge of this circumstance I 
could not wholly trust him. I couldn't, to use the most 
expressive phrase ever invented to describe complete trust- 
worthiness, " tie to him." I fear I shall never be able to re- 
gard him as one of those men who can put their back against 
the rock of truth, and say to temptation's army — 

" Come one, come all, this rock shall fly 
From its firm base as soon as I." 

These are the only sort of men or women I esteem ; and 
the only sort that will do 'Ho tie to." It sometimes irritates 
me when your self-respect and quiet firmness comes into colli- 
sion with my views or wishes. But with what contempt 
should I regard you, if I supposed you did not possess sufficient 
firmness to enable you to resist any temptation to deliberate 



30 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

error? Those little chaps, the dear pledges of our mutual 
love, cling, I think, with unusual affection to their father, not 
that he is any better than other fathers, or loves his more than 
they love their offspring; but because he shows his affection 
more clearly by those little attentions that touch the heart of 
childhood much more sensibly than the sacrifice of health, 
honesty, happiness, which so many parents make, in order to 
procure riches for their children or transmit them a name 
bright with the lustre of fame. Well, I wish you to tell our 
little brats, not simply once, but to instill and reinstill it into 
them until they realize the idea, that if after they become 
somewhat older they do deliberately a mean thing, and fail to 
make prompt and complete retraction or restitution, their 
father will not attempt to punish them for it in any way — he 
will merely lose all confidence in and all affection for them. 
To come back to the point — if charity aided by experience and 
reason forces me to take the foregoing view of K/s conduct, 
is there any probability that he can ever fully gain the confi- 
dence and affection of a lady, who values honesty as highly as 
myself, but has not profited by experience, and does not mix 
much reason with her reflections ? 

It is, however, very bad policy for her to refuse to be 
reconciled, so far at least as to permit association between her 
family and the offending son and brother. She should punish 
him with kindness. An opposite course will materially injure 
her in the eyes of the community, indicate nothing good in 
her own heart, and give her " bright-eyed boy" an excuse for 
any failure he may ultimately make, or any bad habits he 
may finally acquire. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 61 

Left the cars at Saulsbury, and ^^took the stage." The 
change revived many an old reminiscence. Long years have 
passed since I travelled in the stage. I have generally fol- 
lowed the main routes, and comfortably ensconced myself in 
steam-palaces, or been whirled along by the iron-horse. The 
up-hill and the down-hill motions with all the jolting variations, 
the three-mile-an-hour gait, the familiarity of strangers, the 
pleasantness and the unpleasantness -of the former mode of 
travelling, carried me back to a past era of my life — to the 
time when I was a rollicking, joyous youth, who could laugh 
as loudly, as heartily as, and — so everybody said — an honester 
laugh, than any one else ; and joke and take a joke as well 
as the hardest face, unless I thought some surly scamp meant 
more than he said ; and then could " get mad" as quick as 
the most irascible, and whether " Surly" apologized or fought, 
" get into a good humour" with the same wonderful facility 
and speed. The image of Annie also appeared to me as she 
appeared when in the days of her childhood she sat by my 
side in the stage during our long and perilous journey to 
Philadelphia, complaining neither of fatigue or fear. The 
rougher countenances of F. and C, who were along with 
us then, making the passengers merry with their wit, and 
provoking the wayfarers we met with their practical jokes, 
came before me too. Nor did I fail to remember a certain 
Miss IMolly Murray, who arrived in the fall of 18 — , at a 
certain house in a certain village not five hundred miles from 
Holly Springs ; how I went into ecstasies about her beauty 
and her accomplishments of mind and manner; how I feared 
to risk a life of poverty, not so much on my account as on hers 



82 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

and the children to be ; how I jumped into the stage with a 
friend and went down the Mississippi to see, and try to fall 
in love with a lovely heiress ; how the image of the afore- 
said Miss Molly followed me, and haunted me ; how after a 
trip of hundreds of miles, and a five minutes' look at the 
lovely heiress, I was led by the beautiful image back to its 
beautiful original ;" and how I wooed and won her for " my 
bright and beauteous bride/^ ' 

And now as I think of the trials I have caused this same 
Miss Molly ; how her health failed ; how cross and irritable 
and rough I have sometimes been in the midst of all my 
tenderness ; how poverty really assailed us • how love didn't 
jump out of the window; how I worked and she submitted 
and scuffled and economized ; how child after child was born ; 
how alarmed I was for her at each birth ; how we feared for 
the children afterwards ; how sweet the little things were ; 
how pure a fountain of happiness they have been to us ; and 
how Honesty and Courage have driven back Poverty and 
Despair, a vision of beauty unfolds itself to my view. I see 
the angel Experience revealing and confirming the wisdom 
of God ; and Faith, Hope, and Courage clustering around, 
ever ready to aid, cheer, and protect me and mine. The only 
condition upon which they base their pledges of aid, comfort, 
and protection being that we tiy to do right. 
\_To be continued.!^ 

Captain Thomasson is laughing and talking to the ladies 
close by me. I am on the Magnolia, and wish to put this in 
the office before she starts. 

William Atson. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 33 



Gentlemen. — Rowdies. — Tom Fraierson.— Happiness. — Misery.— The way 
to praise a wife. 

S. B. Magnolia, above Bayou Sara, December 22, 1855. 
My Wife : — I wrote you four pages last night, and had just 
fairly seated myself in the stage-coach, so I must start again 
on the 12th December* There were two passengers in tho 
stage, and one on the outside. After riding five miles, '' we 
took in'^ an old gentleman named Hinds. Before this I had 
discoTcred that Barnctt was a gentleman ; and that Tompkins 
and the fellow outside, who had gotten in, were rowdies* 
These last Were very vulgar, very childish, and very silly* 
Tompkins stopped at the first " stand," and the other was 
quiet afterwards. In fact he had been previously cooled off 
by a very simple joke. He asked for a chew of tobacco. 
Tompkins pulled out a plug, and handed it to him. He bit 
off a chew, and for fun, I suppose, said it was very poor 
tobacco. T. replied, '^ Yes, it is, I don't chaw that sort my* 
self;" and pulled out a different article, and helped himself 
to a mouthful of it. The fellow actually ^pit out his piece, 
and would have no more. The fact being thus, that T. had 
given him his best tobacco, as he privately proved to us. 



34 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

At dinner, the landlady was very communicative ; told us 
of a love-letter her daughter, about fourteen years old, had 
received a day or two previously, of which the family could 
only decipher two or three words ; said they had been 
plaguing her also about Tompkins, and representing him as 
fine-looking, that she didn't see anything extra about him; 
that she could tell a gentleman at a glance, that it was plain 
Barnett and myself were gentlemen, &c. 

All the other passengers having gotten off at Ripley, B. and 
myself remained for some time the sole occupants of the coach. 
The former ^^ piled up" on the front seat, and slept as soundly 
as though he were in a feather-bed. I doubled up on the 
back seat. During the night two gentlemen got in, and took 
the middle seat. The next day B. left us, and the gentle- 
men alluded to having exchanged their seat for his, presented 
their faces to my inspection. The more I scrutinized one 
of them, the more I became impressed with the belief that I 
had once known its owner. At the first stopping-place, he 
registered his name '^Thomas Fraierson;'^ and I was about 
concluding my impression to be a mistake, when I learned 
that, notwithstanding the peculiarity of the spelling, he pro- 
nounced it Frierson. This threw a ray of light on my 
memory. I told him who I was, and in return he was very 
communicative^. Fraierson and his brother were two bache- 
lors, who lived together close by my father, when he first 
settled in the West. They were then farmers. F. sold out 
his interest to his brother for $20,000, and took a mortgage 
on the slave property of both to secure the debt. They 
subsequently moved to different parts of an adjoining state. 



OR; HEART WHISPERS. 85 

His brother endorsed the bonds of acquaintances there, who 
had been sued. These failed to pay. The sheriff sold the 
former's property under the hammer, and the mortgage not 
having been recorded in that county, was void. Both 
brothers, who in the mean time had married, were thus 
rendered penniless. 

The intelligent young man along with him was his son. 
The endorsing brother studied medicine, and is now a child- 
less widower, physicking the sick in Arkansas. I wonder if 
his countenance is as pleasant a one as Tom's, who had a wife 
and children to support, learned how to set type in order to 
do it, then became an editor; and is now returning, with his 
pockets, I think, pretty full, from California, where he has 
spent the greater portion of the last five years editing a paper, 
and digging gold. His pleasant countenance is a pleasant 
image that haunts my memory. Reared in affluence, sud- 
denly reduced to poverty, toiling with the solicitude of a hus- 
band and a parent year after year for bread and clothes, and 
at the age of forty-five with a quiet smile, bright as a sun- 
beam reposing on his face, this smiling or rather quietly 
happy expression so fixed that it must have been habitual 
through life, and not the mere pencilling of success after 
the lono; and torturina; storm. Tom Fraierson is a character 
worthy to be deeply studied. Tell me, old friend, is this 
cheerfulness, this uniform quiet happiness, the result of 
organization, or religion, or philosophy, or the three com- 
bined ? I should like to analyze it, to ascertain its con- 
stituents. We bade each other farewell at Columbus. In a 
few hours thereafter, the father and the son expected to be 



36 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

with the wife and the children ; the mother, the brother and 
the sister, they have not seen for two long years. 

After hearing Tom Fraierson's history and looking at his 
cheerful face, I should have been truly ashamed if I had ever 
been weak enough to be unhappy. It is a sin to be so. It 
is practical atheism for a man free from physical pain, who 
never committed a deliberate crime, to be gloomy or miser- 
able. If not atheism, it is an insult to the Deity. It is 
saying to Him : '•'■ You are not reliable, I can't trust you." 

We arrived at Aberdeen about 7 o'clock, p. m., and had 
to remain till 1 o'clock, p. M., the next day. I found C, of 
New York, here, who may be a very valuable acquaintance, 
and introduced myself to him ; spent the morning in attend- 
ing to business, and in the afternoon travelled to Columbus. 
The ensuing day, the stage turned over between these 
villages. Accidents seem always to happen just before, or 
just after I pass. The rain also favoured me and my com- 
panions. Had it fallen before we arrived at Aberdeen, our 
walk at night would have been excessively disagreeable. It 
fell, however, after our arrival there ; ceased before breakfast, 
and began to fall again after we were securely lodged in 
Columbus. 

Men would be much happier, and women, too, were they to 
make a mark at Q\Qry pleasant, instead of at every disagree- 
able incident in their career ) or, as the poet advises, follow 
the example of the dial, and 

" Take no note of time, 
Save when the sun is shinirifj." 



I 



OR, HEART AVHISPERS. 37 

I understand the female heart too well, however, not to know 
that you will take but little interest in my narrative, unless I 
^^ get up" some misery. "Well, the very day of my departure 
from home, my left shin began to feel sore. I examined, 
found a little boil thereon, and opened it. But it wouldn't 
get well, •' kept running," like the baby's, and was so tender 
that I told my vis-a-vis about it, and warned him not to strike 
against it on peril of his life. In Aberdeen, I " felt bad" 
about the neck from being twisted up in the stage. My head 
actually had for a short time a disagreeable sensation, and 
when about retiring to bed I found my night-shirt split 
nearly "in two." This is all the misery I can remember 
being afflicted with thus far. I hope it is enough to excite 
your affection and sympathy. It is dreadful that I should be 
doomed to be so happy, is it not ? 

[To be continued.'] 

I promised you, in a previous letter, to praise you in my 
next. My next was written last night. Didn't I make the 
praise come in as naturally as though it was gushing sponta- 
neously from the heart ? And it was, too. Kiss the children 
for me. What a luxury it would be to see you all ! 
Your affectionate husband, 

William Atson. 



38 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN J 



LETTER IV. i 

Composition. — Politeness. — Impoliteness. — Yicksburg. — Perseverance. — 
Advantages of adversity. — A crisis. — Prayer. — Who is a fool, &c. 

Sunday morning, S. B. Magnolia, December 23, 1855. 

Bear Molly : — Eight pages, and only at Columbus ! This 
thing of composition is to me one of the greatest mysteries. I 
might think on a subject a year, and could then form no 
accurate idea as to how I would write about it. The very 
act of taking the pen in hand, arranging the paper and 
assuming a writing position, seems to effect a singular change 
in the operation of my mental mechanism. Are you not get- 
ting tired of this journalizing, and the train of reflections it 
elicits ? If so, remember I am acting in accordance with 
your request, and a request to the contrary will end it. 

December 15, 1855. — After a night's rest, awoke in Colum- 
bus with fever bhsters on my lip, and the boil on my shin in 
full bloom ; took breakfast, and walked in search of our 
attorneys. They were pointed out to me on the street. M. 
kindly insisted on going around and introducing me to the 
business men of the village. This consumed several hours, 
but I could not persuade him to desist till he was satisfied 
that he had aided me to the utmost of his ability. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 39 

How charming is honest, noiseless, unofficious practical 
politeness ! M. and myself are friends. Your old acquaint- 
ance. Dr. Blank, and myself are separated by a little icy 
barrier, which the least tangible disrespect on his part would 
cause me to break through, and seize him by the throat. M. 
is not aware that he has done anything to endear himself to 
me. The doctor does not know that my fingers are contract- 
ing, ready for the sufi"ocating clutch. The only difference in 
their conduct was that one exhibited that sort of artless, effi- 
cient politeness to a stranger, which indicates a heart over- 
flowing with kindness and sympathy ; and the other that sort 
of formal etiquette, which coldly calculates with how little 
respect it can treat you, and yet not offend. 

As a matter of course, I stand prepared to correct all 
conclusions so rapidly formed. In fiict, I do not think it 
improbable that Dr. Blank's absorption in a mule trade 
might have caused him to forget my presence, though I 
saw him again in the afternoon and had no reason to be 
better pleased. 

Are all the Vicksburg folks destitute of politeness, except 
old McMackin ? I have been always treated everywhere, 
whether known or unknown, with so much more respect and 
politeness than I anticipated, it struck me as very singular, 
that the reverse should be so completely the case in this 
would-be-city. Dr. Blank introduced me to four physicians, 
seated and standing around his fireside, and offered me a 
chair. I took a seat. They continued to converse among 
themselves, and not one of them addressed a word to me. I 
never before in all my meanderings witnessed, among men 



40 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

apparently genteel, such an uncalled-for and gross breach of 
politeness. 

On Saturday evening I took tea at M.'s, and there met 
with Dr. Samuel Malone. The doctor has been residing and 
practising medicine in Columbus, for twenty-four years. His 
success — the harvest he has reaped, and is still reaping — beau- 
tifully and forcibly illustrates the good policy of perseveringly 
pursuing one object at one place. 

Dislike to my profession, has been my chief misfortune. 
Quitting it was my great pecuniary blunder. But if I can 
succeed now, I shall ever rejoice that I committed the blunder. 
It has led me into trials, which have given me an enlarged 
experience, taught me charity, and proved me, I would not 
exchange for the gold of California and the fame of Napoleon, 
the knowledge of the proven fact, that no form of temptation, 
neither vanity, nor ambition, nor the love of money, nor con- 
jugal or parental affection aided by a poverty which threat- 
ened starvation, or a hopeless and humiliating dependence, 
which is more painful to the proud and sensitive, ever caused 
you or me to waver, in obeying the dictates of the most punc- 
tilious and cruel honesty. 

What is being shot, or burnt at the stake, or shut in the 
lion's den, compared to the slow agony of debt and poverty, 
' with a lovely, sickly, scuffling, economical wife and three 
helpless, loving little daughters trusting to you for support ? 
This reads as though I were unhappy during the ordeal. I 
was not so. I would have been, had I wavered for a moment 
about the policy of being honest, or entertained any serious 
doubts about God's being bound ^Ho stand up to" and bring 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 41 

me and mine out of the fiery furnace unharmed, and henejited. 
There was a period during which my nerves trembled a little. 
This was when after having in advance of law, and the know- 
ledge of creditors that I was "broken,^' disposed of everything 
to pay firm debts, it became evident that my experiment in 
farming had failed, that my practice amounted to nothing, 
that I could procure no employment at the South by which I 
could realize any certain profit. This trembling of the nerves 
was, however, only momentary. When I visited the North 
and was disappointed in the object of my visit, and continuing 
my journey to New York, became satisfied that there was no 
chance to better my condition in that city, the crisis was 
reached — '' the last pale hope shivered at my heart." There 
was, however, no trembling, no fear, no grief tlien. That im- 
perturbable calmness which always steals through my physical, 
moral, and mental nature in the hour of actual trial, or real 
danger, took possession of me. I concluded, instantly, that 
God saw it was best to lengthen the period of my poverty, and 
apply to me all its tortures. And I felt something of ^^ that 
stern joy which warriors feel, who fight with foemen worthy 
of their steel." I thought my courage would be tried to the 
utmost ] that my friends would begin to entertain feelings of 
pity and contempt for a man of talents, as they call me, who 
could not support his family; that unceasing and compara- 
tively unsuccessful toil would be my portion ; that demons in 
the shape of trivial but irritating and unavoidable annoyances 
would ever pursue and constantly inflict their festering out- 
rages upon me : but I believed that my wife and children 



42 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

would love me ; and that God would watch, and ultimately 
reward the struggle. 

Alice has frequently asked me, if I prayed; and you, I 
think, have made the same inquiry. Referring everything, as 
I do, to God, and believing in the moral agency of man, I 
could not refrain from praying. Prayer is the habit of my 
soul. In the crisis just alluded to, I prayed ; and the sub- 
stance of my prayer was, " If it be necessary for me to drink 
the cup of affliction, let me drink it alone. Bless my family, 
but afflict me. Give them ease, comfort, health, plenty ; but 
let disease, or some separate calamity, seize hold of me. If, 
however, affliction be necessary for their moral education and 
advancement as well as mine, enable us to bear it calmly and 
courageously." 

In forty-eight hours my prospects brightened — the crisis had 
passed, the clouds were beginning to disperse, rays of sun- 
light made the landscape smile ; and God hung the bow of 
promise athwart the blue sky and in the face of the retreating 
storm. 

I am poor still. But everything previously seemed to work 
against me; and now everything appears ''to strike right." 
A competency is all I seek. There is now every probability 
of my gaining it. My separation from you and the little ones, 
who so sweetly beg their father not to leave them, is the only 
nauseous ingredient remaining in the cup. Let us be grateful. 
Let us never forget the glorious hour of trial. We have 
fought the battle of the Delaware. Let us be ever ready for 
that of Yorktown. Let us teach our children that the man 
or tvoman whom prosperity spoils, is a fool ; and that he or 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 43 

she wlio cannot calmly and hopefully bear adversity, is an 
infidel or a coward. 

Yours afi'ectionately, 

William Atson. 



LETTER V. 

Misery and death. — Courage. — Atson's will.— Honest from principle. 

Sunday evening, Magnolia, December 23, 1855. 

Dear Molly : — Twelve pages, and not away from Colum- 
bus yet. You won't grumble any more about short letters, 
will you ? 

Before quitting the train of thought which ended my last, 
I wish to add a word or two. I am in superb health. My 
constitution is fine : I inherit no disease. I am very prudent 
in my habits, understand pretty well the laws of hygiene; 
and my mother, whom I resemble physically, has taken no 
care of her health ; and is yet alive and " well.'^ 

If any man could calculate upon long life, I might safely 
do so. To reason upon such a subject, is, however, precarious. 
I have always accustomed myself to look at the worst aspect 
of aff'airs. When a boy, fighting on the banks of the With- 
lacoochee, I would not permit my courage to depend on the 
hope of escape. I tried, when advancing into battle, or dan- 
ger of any kind, to realize that I would be killed. I have 
pursued the same course ever since; and to this I attribute a 
great deal of my uniform composure and happiness. Fix 
your eye firmly and courageously upon any dark spot in the 



44 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

future, and light, at first imperceptible, will begin to shine 
around it. Advance, and the darkness will diminish, retreat, 
and probably disappear. This disposition to test the strength 
of my nerves, combined with my philosophy, or religion, or 
whatever you may call it, has caused me to habituate myself 
to looking Misery and Death straight in the face, until I have 
discovered behind the hideous mask of the one a beautiful 
teacher, with a rod in her hand, to be thrown away as soon as 
the childish world becomes mature; and, behind the dark 
veil of the other, the friend of man and his conductor to the 
skies. These preliminary remarks are to show, that thinking 
of death, and thinking it possible I may soon die, do not 
indicate that I am at all depressed or gloomy. I should, in 
that event, bid you farewell with a full heart and a tear in the 
eye. But, calculating upon meeting you all again, where our 
probation would be over, or, at least, not so severe, the smile 
of hope would buoy up the full heart, and irradiate the falling 
tear. 

In case I should die, I want you to tell the children that I 
was reared in affluence, with "high notions,'' and commenced 
the career of manhood with as complete an ignorance of the art 
of making money as any moderately sensible man ever did ; 
that at the age of thirty-one or two, by hard work and your 
assistance and economy, I had acquired a little capital, then 
moved to S., built up a fine business, made a business man 
of myself, took in a partner for two reasons, to get more 
capita], and have the services of one who had more 
experience in the buying department and greater facilities 
for purchasing cheaply than myself; that in a few months 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 45 

after the formation of this partnership, I found our firm 
mysteriously ^' broken ]"" that I returned, took the management 
of the business in order to save our creditors, forced A. to 
pay his part; and deliberately and calmly made myself 
literally pennyless, descending %tep by Uef with MY FAMILY, 
(ah, that was the rub !) into the vale of poverty, with my eye fixed 
all the time upon its Hobgoblins and Horrors, helieving at 
every downward step, that with my credit, I could turn 
around and ASCEND with the loved ones to wealth without 
SULLYING MY CHARACTER OR THEIRS in the estimation of the 
Public. I saw how I could make this ascent by a path so 
much like, so close to, and so nearly parallel with that of 
honesty, that careless spectators would never recognise the 
diiference. I, however, was unable to ascend by the straight 
and narrow track; and rather than attempt the ascent 
by any other route, I would have starved and witnessed the 
starvation of you all. 

The little ones may not understand this. They will probably 
say, " We thought Pa loved us." He does, and that's the 
very reason the Devil was not fool enough even to tempt him 
to error. I believed that honesty was the best policy, no 
matter to what grade of misery it lead. I was bound to con- 
sult our mutual good, and therefore stuck to my rudder 
throughout the entire storm. 

I am honest from principle, and could only become a rascal 
by changing my principles. In that case I should not conceal 
the change from myself, but would base my action coolly and 
designedly upon it. I have a great contempt or rather pity 
for those miserable, doubting, cowardly wretches, who try '^ to 



46 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

split the difference" between honesty and dishonesty. The 
Conrads, the Turpins, the Lafittes, are the rascals I admire ; 
the RebeccaS; the Gertrudes, the Winifreds, are the women 
I love. 

I wonder if it could be possible that you and I could be the 
parents of a child dishonest or destitute of virtue. If time 
should ever demonstrate such a horrible possibility, I should 
believe it the result of education or circumstances. Our 
offspring could certainly inherit no such tendency. Watch, 
therefore, and do not be too silent. Your own purity may render 
you too unsuspecting. Incessantly instil into the children a 
hatred of vice, and a love of truth and virtue. Tell them the 
former, whatever garb or aspect he assumes, is a Demon bent 
upon their ruin, and that the latter, no matter how thickly 
veiled, are two beautiful Angels desirous of leading them to 
good, to happiness, and to God. 

Do not in charity to me, attempt to conceal from them my 
faults — Honesty is the best policy. Do not let my mode of 
writing deceive you into the belief that I am becoming any 
better. I am the same fellow, who left you about ten days 
ago. If I were to stump my toe, I expect I should say '•'■ con- 
found it." Were a man to insult me, I expect I should 
persuade him to retract ; or in case of his refusal to do so, 
"pitch into him," if I did)iH get too hadly scai^ed. 

I should be pleased to see our girls, at a suitable age, become 
consistent members of any decent branch of the Church. To 
the query why I do not join one, I can only reply, " I could 
not lionestly do so." As soon as I can, I think I will. 

My father, than whom there never was a more consistently 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 47 

pious man, Paul, Luther, Wesley included^ taught me to do 
what 1, not what he or any one else, thought was right. This 
is the doctrine I wish my children taught. It is a kind of 
polar star that shines brightly all the night, or rather a moral 
needle that tells us the cardinal points amid the blackness 
and darkness of the storm. 

Orleans in sight — the Magnolia under full headway. Kiss 
the children. 

Yours affectionately, 

William Atson. 



LETTER yi. 

Economical family. — A genius. — A lovely young lady. — Sending from 
home. — Schools.— Stage and horseback trip. — A ducking. — Getting on 
the wrong boat. — The Magnolia. — New Orleans. — A gentleman with a 
grand air. — The theatre. 

New Orleans, December 25th, 1855. 
Dear Molly. — December 16th, 1855. Sixteen pages, and 
still balked in Columbus. Some six, eight, or ten pages 
back, I said. On Saturday evening I took tea at M's., — , 
intending to add, and supped with R. Sunday evening. 1 
understood R. to say he would call on me Sunday morning. 
The appointment being positive, I waited for him till it was too 
late to attend Church. He came in the afternoon, and I 
accompanied him home. His is a very interesting family. 
Everything indicates good breeding and gentility, regulated 
by a necessitous or rather an honest economy. They have 
two handsome daughters, fifteen and twelve, though neither 



48 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

appears to be over the latter age. Some visitors called, and 
among the rest a very handsome boy, only six years old, who 
is a genius. "When an infant, his right arm became palsied, 
and the wrist and hand joints fell out of place. He has only 
partially recovered their use. I read some months ago of a 
little prodigy about his age, who of his own accord and without 
any instructor, began to draw or paint pictures, and always 
commenced them at the bottom, beginning for instance with 
the man's or horse's foot. This is the precise history of this 
little nobleman. On account of his misfortune he uses his 
left hand, but this does not prevent his drawing rapidly and 
beautifully. His name is Booth Jordan. When Cousin 
Caroline entered the room, I was puzzled to recollect whether 
she was " the beauty'^ or her younger sister. I at first 
concluded it could not be her. My opinion chaoged as I con- 
tinued to look at and listen to her. Those who thought 
Annie beautiful would have thought her so. They are fac 
similes of each other in size, figure, face. I am not certain 
but that Annie had the advantage in eyes. Cousin Cary's 
other features would however bear criticism the best. They 
are more regular. Her power, like Annie's, lay mainly in 
manner and conversation. I judge of the latter more by the 
effect on others. Raised together, as we were, I was slow in 
noticing her developed charms. Even her Mlliant beauty 
would not have arrested my attention, but for the gaze of 
thrilled and dazzled admirers. Cousin Cary's manners ^' struck 
me" as similar though original, eccentric, and fascinating. 
Every movement and tone seemed perfectly easy, natural, 
unstrained. She reminds one of an actress, an actress so 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 49 

perfect, that though ^vt.f^dl, she does not exhibit the least 
appearance of art. Her conversation is not a continual flow. 
Her remarks are only occasional, but it seems to be impossible' 
for her to make one of any moment without gesticulation of 
some kind with the hands, and some movements of the body. 
These gesticulations and motions being exceedingly graceful 
and so managed, or so natural and appropriate, as to give a . 
peculiar emphasis and charm to whatever she says. One ^ 
evening fascinated me. Whether the fascination would 
diminish or increase by additional association, I cannot tell. 

There is frequently a mystery about the expenditures of 
poor people. The remark is common, <' that man is worth 
nothing, does nothing, and lives in style.- The inference is that 
he robs or steals. You have seen females who by gratifying their 
vanity, their love of dress and show, caused the community 
before which they exhibit themselves, and to please which they 
ruin, husbands and children, to regard them as refined rogues, 
or gilded adulteresses, simply because that community crnnot 
comprehend how Poverty and Idleness can honestly and 
virtuously collect and scatter so much money. A conversation 
during the evening reminded me of S. We know him to be 
veiy poor, so poor as to have excited our sympathy to the 
utmost tension compatible with honesty and our little purse. 
Still he has sent his daughter to a distant school. In debt, 
almost on the eve of beggary, and yet must send his child 
away from the influences of home, and first-rate home schools, 
to one of which he knows nothing. This is doubtless the 
chief attraction. Ignorance ^Mends enchantment to the 



view. 



60 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

Dece.aber 17th. Was ''waked" at 2, and got in the stage 
at 3 o'clock, A. M. Started with six passengers, a young 
lady and gentleman on the back, self and student on the 
middle, Hughes and Aldridge on the front seat; might have 
dozed, but the lady's tongue rattled like the clapper of a bell 
rung by a perpetual motion machine. This continuous ringing 
almost drowned the love-notes of her companion of the day, 
who was not deficient in quiet impudence, and could talk 
"some." Aldridge's head had a silvery hue, but his heart 
was green. He was full of fun and wit, and possessed the 
gift of saying the most ordinary things so as to make the 
grummest laugh. 

The planters on this road are too wealthy to keep " stage 
stands," and we had to go without breakfast. Notwithstand- 
ing the demands of our stomachs, we could only wade through 
the rich adhesive prairie mud at the rate of two and a half 
miles per hour, and did not arrive at Macon, thirty miles dis- 
tant, till 1 o'clock P. M. Here the most of us eat together 
and then parted. 

After dinner I mounted a hired horse, which proved to be a 
fine traveller, and started for Wahalak. The distance, I was 
informed before starting, was twenty, eighteen, sixteen miles. 
Rode about six miles, and asked a negro, how far? Twelve 
miles, was the reply. The eighteen mile fellows were right, 
thought I; 12 -f 6 are 18. Rode on two or three miles far- 
ther and met another negro. " Well, uncle, do you know the 
way to Wahalak ? " Yes, sir." " How far is it ?" " Thir- 
teen miles." " TJie DeviV Rode a mile or two farther. 
<' Mister, am I on the right road to Wahalak?" '' Yes, sir." 



OR. HEART WHISPERS. 51 

«' How far is it ?'' '^ Fourteen miles." With woe, too deep 
for utterance, rode on. '' Uncle, please tell me how far it is 
to Wahalak ?" '' Five miles, sir.'' '' You are mistaken, ain't 
you?'' '^No, sir J' Two miles farther. ^^ Mister, will you 
be so good as to tell me the distance to Wahalak ?" ^' It's 
NINE miles." Another trot up the hills and down the hills. 
" Heigho, Mister, please direct me the way to Wahalak, and 
tell me how far it is ?" The old man, the owner of a fine 
dwelling and a large plantation, is a hundred or two yards dis- 
tant, but he hears, looks, sees I am a stranger, and approaches 
to tell me I am in the right road, and six miles from my desti- 
nation, but more especially to advise me to be cautious about 
crossing a certain creek, which from the amount of rain that 
had fallen a day or two previously, he supposes will be too 
deep for fording. After discussing with himself the advan- 
tages and disadvantages of several routes, he directed me to 
keep the usual one, but to inquire the condition of the creek 
at a little village just this side of it. I rode on in great glee, 
delighted at having thus far taken at every doubtful point the 
right fork of this forky road, but more particularly at the good- 
natured politeness and disinterested kind-heartedness of the 
old gentleman. At the little village I made the inquiry. The 
. man replied, '' There's Mr. James, he has just crossed, and 
can tell you all about it." James said, '^ It will about reach 
up to your saddle skirts." I rode forward, with cloak on, for 
it was a cool evening, raised my feet slightli/, and plunged 
IN. The horse swam from the first dip, and I came out wet 
up to, and a little above, the bifurcation of my nether extremi- 
ties. Night had come. It was two miles and a half to Waha- 



52 A PEEP EEHINlJ THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

lak; I was doubtful whether I could get lodging there; and I 
had no change of raiment along. '^ On, on sped Godolphin/' 
till he reached the mansion of J. T. Maynard, once the husi- 
ness man of the village, and still the big man of the neigh- 
bourhood; I told him a fellow named James had lied me into 
the creek, and gained permission to spend the night at his 
house. The old gentleman, the old lady, and the son soon had 
me dressed in dry and genteel clothes. How they found out 
I was a gentleman was a mystery to me, but they seemed to 
discover it instantly. A rather common family, composed of 
an old woman, several young men, and children, had solicited 
their hospitality just before my arrival. These were treated 
with proper politeness when present, but I was invited into 
the parlour, where sat the family of my host, all of whom acted 
towards me as though I were a beloved or distinguished guest. 
I shall never forget them, neither the boys, nor the girls, nor 
the clever old man, nor the handsome and noble old lady. 

The next morning was clear, frosty, exhilarating. My boil 
was still discharging, but in every other respect I was as sound 
as a silver dollar. My health, the weather, the beauty of Uttle 
hind words, of little hind acts, of unaffected, spontaneous polite- 
ness, Jenkins's warning, Maynard's dry clothes, all combined 
to make me gloriously happy; I made the woods of the Noxu- 
bee ring with my mirth. I repeated and reiterated Will 
Shakspeare's couplet, 

« The quality of mercy is not strained, 
It droppeth as the gentle dew from heaven." 

I got so in love with human nature, that I began to think i3€r- 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 63 

haps James had been deceived, and *^ may be it wouldn't be 
wrong for me not to beat or abuse tim in case we met." 
Images of the old tenants of the forest hovered around, remind- 
ing me that my adventure was comparatively nothing. / had 
merely wet my legs in the waters of the Wahalak, through 
which the Indian maids used to swim ; across which the Indian 
warriors used to rush their ponies to and from dance and 
danger ; and in which they were wont to bathe their wearied 
limbs after the battle or the hunt. 

Returning by a new route, in order to cross the stream at a 
ferry, and miss another ducking, I did not meet my ducker. 
Reached Macon at noon, hired buggy and driver, started for 
Louisville, journeyed fifteen or eighteen miles, was " taken in" 
at Willis's, talked politics during the evening, and '' pitched 
into" secession and repudiation; things I rarely do when 
absent from home, unless, as was the case then, in the presence 
of young men about ready to vote, who reside where this 
ultraism is popular, and this rascality practised. Our landlord 
was a plain, clever fellow. His wife was ^' some." She went 
to see about the plate twice, while the driver was eating sup- 
per; was surprised, as we were eating breakfast, about day- 
break, to hear me say, I never could tell when day was break- 
ing ; told me she had always known that, and how to descry 
the approaching dawn ; that day's-breaking was simply owing 
to the advance of the sun to the eastern horizon, and a streak 
of light in the east always preceded his appearance an hour 
or so. 

Reached Louisville December 10th, in the morning, and 
6* 



54 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

made the acquaintance of the merchants whilst awaiting the 
arrival of the stage. 

Left at 3 o'clock, and passed through Kosciusko, Camden, 
Canton, and Jackson. 

^ ^ ^ ^ 3jC 3fC 

***;!«** 

Arrived at Yicksburg in the forenoon of the 21st, and, as I 
was walking down the street from the depot, saw the ^' John 
Simonds'^ Ij^^o ^^ ^^^ wharf; hesitated a moment, concluded 
I would see Memphis acquaintances and Memphis papers on 
it, whereas on the Magnolia I would know no one but the busy 
captain; hurried down the steep hill, got on board just as the 
last bell rang, congratulated myself on being in time, ran up 
stairs, shook hands with several, heard one of the passengers 
say something about '^ going up," wheeled, ran down, the boat 
was ^' backing out," pumped with saddle bags on arm, reached 
the shore safely, congratulated myself on the timely discovery 
of my error and my safe escape, walked down to the Magno- 
lia, and again introduced myself to Thomasson. The style of 
living on ^^ The Magnolia" is as sumptuous as ever. 

Monday, New Orleans. Took lodgings at the St. Charles, 
called at Hammonds & Co., and received no letter or paper 
from home. On returning to the hotel met Mr. M. and 
Doctor W. of Plaquemine. The latter was on his way to 
the West Indies. He, too, neglected his profession, tried 
merchandise, formed a partnership, and " broke." The former 
thinks he is rich, has sold a portion of his Plaquemine estate, 
and purchased on a credit another large plantation with some- 
thing under a hundred negroes for a fraction under a hundred 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 65 

thousand dollars. M. is a clever fellow. He is sociable, 
honourable, and a friend of mine. But, ^'Good Heavens!" 
what a grand air he has ! how dignified in manner and speech ! 
how he holds his head to one side as though he had chronic 
crick in the neck ! Notwithstanding these peculiarities I like 
him. He knows me like a book. He is aware that I smile 
at all such fancy touches, and I " guess'' would doff his mock 
dignity, straighten his neck, and put his hat on top of his 
head, when alone in my presence, were he not afraid I would 
catch him donning the humbuggery. At night I visited the 
theatre, to see ^' The Star Actor and Actress" Barney Wil- 
liams and wife. I was " awfully bored," and so completely 
disgusted by the indecency and silliness of the comedies per- 
formed, that I resolved never to attend the theatre again unless 
I am assured by good authority that a decent play is to be per- 
formed, and a truly great actor or actress to perform it. 

Vulgarity, in the presence of ladies, annoys me no little. 
I feel that the whole sex is being degraded when the offender 
is a man ; and it is hardly decent to talk to one's wife about a 
vulgar woman. 

The audience, however, was " higJily appreciative.^^ The | 
applause was long and loud ; the encores frequent. A climax j 
of vulgarity always " brought down the house." 

Finney is always polite and friendly. I tried to convince 
him that I was rich, and would have been poor had his advice 
been followed. After diverting myself in this way awhile, I 
told him the facts — that I should not have had the same 
amount of pecuniary loss or trouble, had I been governed by 
his experience ; but if I could henceforth keep rising, I 



56 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

should never regret my failure. For I had learned by it 
enough, unless Providence frowned upon my efforts, to enable 
me to acquire, ultimately, vastly more than I would ever have 
acquired without this lesson. 

December 25. Received one short letter from Molly. I 
am sorry I have written so much. It will be heaping coals 
of fire on her head. She will, however, reflect that my writ- 
ing was done in advance, and, consequently, in ignorance of 
what she would do ; and, therefore, not designed to have this 
effect. Thus I shall be forgiven. 

"Took" one delicious glass of egg-nogg with Hammonds 
and his friends, returned to my room, and wrote business let- 
ters the balance of the day and night till bedtime. 

December 26. Black was regretting that this was not the 
trip of the steamer " Mexico," as she was so much more com- 
modious, and rocked so much less than "The Louisiana." 
Just after we parted, I met a travelling companion, who 
informed me that " the Company" had concluded, since we 
engaged tickets, to send the former. Samuel Hancock has 
also selected me a room-mate, for whose gentlemanly qualities 
he vouches. So, thus far, you see, my good luck continues. 

And now farewell. At 8 o'clock in the morning I start. 
The Mexico will soon leave the muddy waters of the Missis- 
sippi, and ride the rough, blue waves of the Gulf. 

Don't be discouraged about farming. All you can do is 
your lest. Do this, and calmly trust Providence for the 
result. 

I have enjoyed my Christmas by keeping employed. I 
hope you and the children have spent a merrier one. Kiss 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 57 

them for me. Accept my best love for yourself. Be prudent, 
sleep a plenty, take your tonic, and let me see a vision of the 
old beauty when I return. Tell the negroes ^^ howd'ye." 
Your affectionate husband, 

William Atson. 



LETTER VII. 

Texas. — Geography of "Lavaca Bay." — The author in love. — Treachery. — 
A prescription. 

Powder Horx, January 2, 1S56. 

Dear Molly : — It is cruel in me to persecute you with so 
many and such long letters in return for your solitary short 
one ; but, ^' out of the fulness of the heart the mouth speak- 
eth," and the hand writeth. At Galveston, on the 30th, I 
wrote to Alice, telling her, and therefore you, of my safe pas- 
sage across the Gulf. After " laying up" at that Island City 
about thirty-six hours on account of " a norther,'^ we left at 
about 3 o'clock Sunday afternoon for this place. As you may 
not be learned in Texas geography, I will inform you that 
there are three rival cities on Lavaca Bay — Powder Horn, the 
nearest the Gulf, Indianola, four miles above, and Port Lavaca, 
twelve miles beyond the latter, 

TJiese cities contain two or three hundred inhabitants apiece. 
The last two profess to consider themselves one, and their 
interests the same, though so far apart. The steamers, on 
account of the shallowness of the bay, land at Powder Horn. 
This has drawn the business almost entirely from Indianola 



58 A PSEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

and makes Lavaca, though still the chief town, tremble as i* 
looks into the future 

"With this explanation, I proceed. 

The coldness of the weather during our stay on the steamer 
the facts that there was only one stove for all the cabin pas- 
sengers, above and below, male and female, and that the tables 
were stationary, and so arranged as to prevent all, save a few 
at a time, from approaching within warming distance of the 
fire, together with the lingering nausea, the result of previous 
sea-sickness on the part of most of the passengers, made us 
all glad to get ashore, though fully aware that we had on land 
new and equally disagreeable difficulties to encounter. 

The passengers, while crowded on board, seemed to be very 
sociable. Dispersion did not cause them to forget. I have 
met a good many, since leaving the boat, and the cordiality of 
their grasp, and the friendly familiarity with which they call 
me Doctor, and speak of " the Doctor," and the kindness of 
their "adieus" (both male and female), as the stage drags 
them away, make the bystanders think us old friends ; and 
caused me, and doubtless caused them, to recollect that we are 
mortal; and that, notwithstanding our kindly feelings, our 
pleasant conversations, our smiling countenances, we may 
never meet again. 

I pity the man or the woman xclio has a secret of his oicn 
to keep ; or who believes in the rascality of his fellow man ; 
or has any malice in his heart ; or who takes a gloomy view of 
human prospects ; or who is afraid of anything in the heavens 
above or in the earth beneath, but error; or who does not 
believe 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 69 

" The right will ever come uppermost^ 
And justice ever be done ;" 

iv who is ashamed to talk freely and kindly; or, if necessary, 
fearlessly and firmly to his brother man; or who is not dis- 
posed, while seeking comfort himself, to scatter comforts 
around him. 

I should like to give you the names, and describe the pecu- 
liarities of the most prominent passengers, but time forbids ; 
and I will only say a word or two about one who excited all 
my sympathy. Take care that the description does not excite 
your jealousy. The fact is, I did '' get a. little in love," and 
might have gotten completely into Cupid's whirlpool had it 
not been for two things — -her husband, and the old love at 
home. 

Mrs. Gregory was not a brilliant beauty — -not so brilliantly 
beautiful as was " the old love ;" but her features were good 
and regular ; her hazel eyes were expressive of intelligence 
and amiability; her smile, as the rosy lips parted over a per- 
fect set of teeth, gave a peculiar charm to the whole face ; her 
voice, soft and musical, was ''sweet as seraph's song;" her 
form was excellent; and her manners, unaffected and easy, 
gave no indication of bashfulness, but exhibited the purest 
modesty. 

You don't blame me now, do you, for being just a little in 
love ? I have not, however, told you all. This lovely woman, 
certainly not over twenty, probably not eighteen years of age, 
was cliecrfidhj following her husband, a major or captain of 
the United States army, fully as old and as ugly as myself, 
away from relations and friends, home, and society, without 



60 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

any female companion except a black woman, to the western 
frontier of Texas, where tliere is no cliurch, no pleasures, no 
society, to be cooped up in a little fort with stiff, metal-but- 
toned oificers, and rough, rude, regular soldiers always in sight; 
Indians hovering around, and war and "rumours of war'* 
always ringing in her ears, and the dread of attack always 
lying upon her heart. 

She has deliberately chosen the sacrifice. 

Her husband is doubtless a clever man, and fond of his 
wife ; but he does not know how to treat such a woman. He 
didn't see that she kept her feet warm on the steamer. He 
would send for doctors, and " sit up" with her if she were 
sick; but he would talk loudly, or walk heavily, or with 
creaking shoes, across the room; and would allow others to 
come in and disturb her with their injudicious talk. He 
wouldn't know how to force her to be comfortable — how to 
drive away low spirits with a word or a kiss — how to be cheer- 
ful when her comfort required him to make a sacrifice, and to 
be sternness itself when she wanted to make an unnecessary 
sacrifice of comfort, health, or convenience for him. At this 
very time, she is jogging along in a sort of carryall, with "a 
norther'* blowing the rain in her face, herself, and her black 
maid, with a countenance as fine as that of her mistress, suffer- 
ing and smiling; and the major, and a simple lieutenant with 
metal buttons, named Johnson, well muflfled up, but grunting 
and grumbling, and not ashamed to grunt and grumble, at 
their own little inconveniences ; while the same causes force 
no murmur of discontent from the more sensitive, and deli- 
cately organized women beside them. You understand now 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 61 

why I used the word sympathy. And you will not blame me, 
because this sympathy excited within me a little hrotherhj 
love for the lovely Mrs. Gregory. 

After arriving here I found accidentally that there was a 
vacant seat in the stage as far as Lavaca. It is customary for 
stage passengers who are going the farthest to have the prc- 
ferencCj and a gentleman in Lavaca had sent down and engaged 
a seat, intending to get in as it passed that village. I reached 
there by 3 o'clock, got dinner, and proceeded to the transaction 
of business. 

January 1st. Completed my business in Lavaca, where I 
made the acquaintance of a Doctor Lawrence, formerly of 
Nashville, and sundry other persons, who treated me so respect- 
fully, so politely, so kindly, that I feel very friendly to them, 
and permit no doubt of its reciprocity to impair or extinguish 
the friendliness of my feelings. Just before sundown bade 
adieu to this pioneer town, with its sheet of water in front, 
and its sheet of level prairie around, — travelled back to India- 
nola, reached there about 9 o'clock at night, found the gentle- 
man whom I desired to see, at a ball, called him out, and made 
arrangements by which I was enabled to finish my business in 
time to come here, in the omnibus, this morning. 

January 2d, Powder Horn. Just arrived, and find that the 
boat for Matagorda has postponed starting till to-morrow morn- 
ing on account of ^' the norther" which has been blowing its 
icy breath athwart the waters of the Gulf for the greater part 
of ten days. 

As yet I can begin to make no calculaticns about returning. 
6 



62 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

I shall finish Smith & Co.'s business, and polish it off well 
before leaving this state. 

Were it my own business, home and the sweet faces of wife 
and children might tempt me to neglect it; but treachery, 
however slight or deeply secreted in my bosom, would rob my 
heart of its regular pulsation, my rough countenance of its 
honest look and cheerful smile, my hand of its cordial grasp, 
and my step of its firm and fearless tread. I should liave a 
secret of my own. 

Absence from home is the only ding in my cup. How 
small this affliction appears, when the sacrifices and the miseries 
of others are unfolded to the view! Hoping I may soon 
become able to linger by my own fireside, there to enjoy the 
rich harvest of affection which always flourishes around it, I 
now bid you and the little ones an affectionate farewell. 

"William Atson. 

A prescription. 

Postscript. — The cold weather here has caused me to think 
of Alice trudging so far to school. Teach her some of the 
laws of health. Tell her never to sit in a moderately cold 
room till she gets imperceptibly '^ chilled through," to go, 
under such circumstances, to a fire, and if no fire is near, to 
walk, or run, or jump, or throw her arms about till she gets 
warm. Tell her that getting either her feet or her body wet, 
will generally do her no harm, but keeping on wet clothes, or 
shoes or stockings, is unhealthy. 

Tell her also never to bundle up in rileasant weather, or in 



I 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 63 

a comfortable room, but to put on her cloak, gloves, overshoes 
just as she leaves the house for the colder atmosphere without. 
This is very simple advice, but the reason the world does 
not get better and happier faster is, because its smart inhabit- 
ants prefer the mysterious and unattainable to the simple and 
the practicable. The judicious practice of the above little 
rules would add ten years to the present average of human life. 

A. 



LETTER VIII. 

Texas. — The Bludget. — Sea sickness. — A bay sunset. — Hospitality. — Little 
Boggy. — Storm at Matagorda. — George "Washington. 

January 7th, 1856, at Vosburg, thirty miles from ] 
Wh.^rton, in the prairie, near the Brazos. ) 

Dear Molly : — On January the 2d I wrote to you from 
Powder Horn. I did not however say to you, as I did to 
Smith & Co., that I was about to start upon the trip of trips, 
in the weather of weather; I was fearful of alarming you. 

January 3d. Started ('Hhe norther'' still blowing), on a 
tiny sloop about the size of too large skiffs, for Matagorda. It 
was the first time I ever trusted myself to sails on salt water. 
The little '' Bludget" turned and tossed amid the tumultuous 
waters of the bay, like a straw in an eddy of the Mississippi. 
The waves ever and anon swept over her deck, but still she 
struggled manfully and kept her course at the rate of five or 
six miles an hour, not merely walking the waters " like a thing 
of life/' but careering over and charging through them like a 



64 A PEEP 

high-mettled steed ia the hour of battle, excited to frenzy by 
the spur, the music, and the roar of artillery, struggling through 
the ranks of opposing squadrons. 

The rocking, the reeling, the careening, the surging, of the 
sloop produced the sHghtest perceptible nausea. I kept quiet 
and was congratulating myself on being a tried sailor, proof 
against sea-sickness, when all at once, with scarcely an increase 
of the disagreeable sensation, I leaned over and *' threw up" 
my breakfast. After this I lay flat on my back, took a snack 
at dinner time, and was troubled but little more. 

By the bye, I am well satisfied that this is the best if not 
the only remedy for or preventive of sea-sickness. I tried it, 
and so did many others on the steamer, and it certainly did 
cure some and alleviate the sufferings of others. 

As the day advanced, and we got farther out towards sea, 
the bay was smoother and the vessel ran more steadily. The 
voyage was not so unpleasant as I anticipated. I could not 
read much, but occasional conversation with Burke and the 
little boy who assisted Captain Cleaveland, together with th? 
jokes, the whistlings, and the snatches of songs sung by 
^'States" Hill, a lively young fellow of Matagorda, whiled 
away the time. 

I can almost say I saw a sea sunset. That I did see was 
sufficiently beautiful. As the sun reached the farthest edge 
of the bay, it seemed for a moment to rest upon the land — an 
immense ball of fire — and, as it rested there, for a moment its 
exact counterpart appeared burning beneath, in the bosom of 
the water. Presently both lost their globular forms, — one 
reposing on the land and pointing its huge and solid pyramid 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 65 

of red fire toward the blue skj above,— the other pointing its 
fiery pinnacle down, towards the same sky mirrored in the 
watery deptlis below. The white houses of Matagorda had 
been visible for two hours, but still we were several miles dis- 
tant, and the speed of the boat had become decidedly slower. 
At length darkness settled down upon earth and bay. States 
Hill became serious, and questioned and cross-questioned the 
Captain, until I learned that we had no skifi", that no skiff 
could probably be obtained, that we could not approach within 
a quarter or half a mile of land, and that there was a strong 
probability we would have to remain on board through the 
long, chilly night, the only alternative being a wade to shore 
through water over knee deep. 

The boat cast anchor. Hill and the Captain hooped and 
halloed, and the former shot off my pistol, which I carry safely 
ensconced in the bottom of my saddle-bags. All this, how- 
ever, produced no response, and we were about despairing, 
though " feeling" our boy, to see if he could be hired to wade 
ashore, when the oars of a skiff were heard striking the bosom 
of the bay. The oarsman was a sailor going out to his sloop. 
He loaned the skiff to us, and we were soon ashore trudging 
towards the '^ Colorado House.'' 

January 4th. Attended to my business last night after 
supper. To-day examined horses, and finally purchased one 
for $68. The reason for making this purchase was, that upon 
an accurate calculation of expenses, I find that stage travelling 
with the occasional hiring of a horse, will cost Smith & Co. as 
much, and probably more, than the same trip taken on horse- 
back, even if I have to give the horse away after it is com- 
6» 



66 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

pleted. How polite, how friendly everybody everywhere is to 
me ! I have been in Matagorda only twenty-four hours. I 
never knew any one there before ; and yet a general disposi- 
tion to serve me is manifested. Boyell & Selkirk, to whom I 
never did but one thing, and that was dunning them for a 
debt they had paid, have made me feel perfectly at home, 
introduced me to their acquaintances, loaned me their papers, 
loaded my pistol gratis, and wouldn't charge me for a spur. 

Davis, once their clerk, and formerly from Belmont, Ten- 
nessee, though I never saw him before, has taken special pains 
to provide me a conveyance to Wharton. He was about start- 
ing on a long trip, and intended riding the very horse I pur- 
chased ; and, although it was a source of considerable incon- 
venience to him, he urged me, if my interest or convenience 
required it, to make the purchase. 

Captain Thompson, a wealthy planter, to whom Davis intro- 
duced me before I had determined to buy a horse, offered me 
a seat in his carriage as far as his plantation, thirty-five miles 
distant, and then to loan me a horse to ride to Wharton. So 
much for Texas hospitality thus far. 

i *!* ^J^ 'K 5jC Jjl ^ 

January 5th. Still cold, and " a norther" blowing, slipped 
my blanket, purchased yesterday for the purpose, over my head, 
and my cloak over that, and started in company with Henry 
Rust and Davis. On we jogged over the level prairie for seven 
miles, and at this point came to " Little Boggy." This is the 
name of a stream or slough with a miry bottom. To prevent 
miring, planks were laid under the water at the ford. Colonel 
Hawkins' carriage went safely across, also young Jones and 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 67 

several other outriders. So did Davis ; Rust's horse, however, 
an old headstrong fellow, who was thirsty, stepped over the 
ends of the planks before his rider could check him. Warned 
by this I reined up my steed, who was following, but had 
scarcely done so when his feet slipped between the planks into 
the deep bog. He plunged fearfully, falling and rising, rising 
and falling. I hung on like an Arab until the girth broke, 
and then myself, my saddle, saddle-bags and hat rolled into 
the water some three or four inches deep, and stirred up none 
of your Tennessee mud with sand in it that dries and can be 
brushed off, but the black, thick, tarry, prairie mud. Davis 
says, as I rolled into this puddle, with cloak and blanket around 
my arms fastened so as to render them almost useless, my 
horse rearing and falling on one side of me, and Rust's horse 
about to begin his plunging on the other side, I exclaimed, in 
the words of the old song, "I'm a used up man." The quota- 
tion was exceedingly appropriate. 

My horse finally got out. I followed, and though the wet 
mud stuck half an inch thick on pants, cloak, blanket, &c., I 
scarcely reached the solid ground before I joined Davis in 
making the welkin ring with peals of laughter at my comical 
condition. 

Rust's horse now started. He made a lunge or two. Rust, 
waving his hand, and swaying his body something like a 
drunken man, exclaimed, '' I am gone," and down he dropped. 
Shouts of laughter greeted his descent into the mud. He 
came out, the horse followed, and then the merriment became 
long and loud. 

Davis scraped me off with a knife ; but the wet had soaked 



68 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

througli boots and breeches, and carried the cold with it. 
The wind however soon lulled, the sun shone out warmly, 
and we became dry and comfortable ; but still continued to 
look muddy and ugly. 

We travelled twenty miles in this plight, and spent the 
night at Captain Rugley's, a hospitable sugar and cotton 
planter. The captain was in Orleans, but his lady enter- 
tained us j&nely. I had not previously, in Texas, slept on a 
bed softer than a board. Mrs. Rugley's beds were so large, 
so full of feathers, so firm, and yet so soft ; in short, so much 
like " Ma's" eighty-pounders, that I could but compliment 
her the next morning on the possession of such a luxury. 
In the autumn of 1854, a storm swept over Matagorda and 
the contiguous Peninsula. It blew down almost every house 
in the town, destroyed some lives, capsized and sunk the 
vessels in the bay ; and absolutely tore the clothes from the 
terrified females, who were forced to fly out of doors. One 
lady was stripped by the wind to the condition of Eve, when 
she first walked amid the flowers and saw her imas-e in the 
rivers of Paradise. Mrs. Rugley resided on ^' The Peninsu- 
la." The scene was there still more terrific and distressing 
They had not only Erebus, but Neptune to contend with. 
The wind overturned their houses, and then blew the waters 
of the bay over them. Some, even ladies, remained in the 
water from twelve to twenty-four hours; and all would have 
been drowned but for the fact, that the wind-driven waves cut 
channels across the Peninsula, and emptied themselves into 
the Gulf beyond. 

Davis, Rust, and myself, spent a part of the evening in 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. <j9 

arguing about the intellectual ability of George Wasliing/on . 
This, you know, is a dangerous topic for me to converse upon. 
To hear a native-born American citizen, one of the sons of the 
Father of freedom, attempt to depreciate him, is almost too 
much for me to bear. These gentlemen had treated me so 
kindly, that I kept as cool as possible, mixing my argument 
with only a little of the spices of satire and ridicule. There 
were, however, children listening, and on their account I made 
more and stronger remarks than I otherwise would. I pre- 
sume I resembled somewhat a bear, who should conclude in- 
stead of giving his kind keeper the fatal hug, just to scratch 
his back. 

My friends were also Democrats, and you may rest assured, 
I did not spare that democracy, which thinks it must depre- 
ciate George Washington in order to exalt " Tom Jefferson,'' 
and the party of his professed disciples. No ill feeling 
was, however, produced by this conversation. My opponent? 
were noble fellows, and seemed to admire my earnestness and 
boldness ; and to respect my filial affection for the hero-states- 
man who '' was the first in war, the first in peace," and wil) 
be " the first in the hearts of his countrymen'' so long as thej 
deserve the freedom he achieved. 

January 6th. We parted with mutual regrets, and I 
^' struck off" alone into the prairie. Alone, means something 
here where houses are ten or fifteen miles apart, travellers 
are rarely met, and the roads frequently fork, or dwindle into 
cow-paths. After riding a few miles I looked back, and saw 
a gentleman following me. I alighted and waited till he over- 
took me. It was Judge B. M. Williamson, of Independence, 



70 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

"the three-legged man/' as he calls himself; and is com 
monly called from his having a wooden leg and wearing on 
the same side a full-length leg to his pantaloons, which hangs 
down from the knee in such a manner as to suggest the idea 
of a third leg. The judge only travelled with me a few miles, 
gave me directions as to the route, invited me to visit him as I 
passed Independence, and turned away, leaving me alone again, 

January 6th, Wharton. Yesterday and till noon to-day, I 
travelled in the prairie which is bounded by the Colorado, and 
Caney. The houses of the planters are situated in the prairie, 
from half a mile to a mile from the timber of the bottoms; 
without a tree or shrub, and sometimes without even a fence 
around them. The plantations are in the densely-wooded bot- 
toms. About twelve miles from here, quit the prairie, and 
entered the far-famed Caney bottom. The cotton stalks were 
very large, and cane doubtless yields enormously. There is 
no question about its soil, with its peculiar reddish complexion, 
being extremely fertile. But Mrs. Ramsey says, it is too sickly 
for the whites to live near it; and I should suppose, from 
appearances, that Megissogwon, " who sends the fever from 
the marshes," resided within its fecund bosom, ready to 
spring forth upon the pioneer, who fells the timber and breaks 
its surface with the plough. 

The foregoing was written in parcels, at Yosburg's, Bren- 
ham, and Belton, after rides of thirty and forty miles during 
the day. Is it possible for me to write under any circum- 
stances worse than I usually do ? If so, excuse the preceding 
exhibition of the worse ; and if you can't read, skip it. 

It will not do for me to copy my letters to you. I should 



71 

correct and fix them up, and then they might appear con- 
strained and formal. Since adopting by your request the jour- 
nalizing mode, though frequently forgetting it, I do not 
neglect to pour forth my thoughts, my inward thoughts, as 
freely as I think them and time permits. Why do you not 
the same ? The artless exposure of the inside of the human 
soul is always interesting to me. That you have thoughts is 
evident from the fact, that you can, especially if I am engaged 
in reading or writing, talk ^^ from morn till dewy eve." You 
certainly should not be ashamed to write your thoughts, your 
day dreams to me. You know I am a lenient critic, that I 
can scarcely tolerate the fastidious fault-finder. You will 
recollect frequently laughing at my detecting good in the 
poorest speeches and sermons, particularly if spoken by the 
young, the humble, or the upright. 

How delighted I was at your Canton folio ! How disap- 
pointed at the New Orleans half-sheet ! Let's have no more 
of the latter, though I have read and re-read that. Sit down 
every morning — you are too tired and feeble at night — and 
write down your thoughts and doings, and the doings and say- 
ings of the children during the preceding twenty-four hours. 
This will require but little time, and you will be astonished at 
the result. What a delightful liome-feeling will its daily 
perusal, till the mail brings another record, cause your way- 
faring husband, with his indifference to wealth and ambition, 
and his strong home affections ! I am just getting under head 
way, but eight pages are enough for you to read at once. 
Your husband, 

WlLLIAiM AtSON. 



72 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 



LETTER IX. 

I 

Sermon tu 1'extvS.— "Sweat."— Thoughts in the prairie. 

'' The cold, the dead, the beautiful, 
E'en now they silent pass 
I-jke floating shadows one by one, 
O'er memory's faithful glass." 

January 13th, 1856. 

Dear Molly : — It is Sunday. I have just returned from 
jhurch, having heard my first sermon in Texas. The 
preacher's name is Smith. I presume, from his style of ora- 
tory, that he is a Methodist. P. would shrug his shoulders 
like a Frenchman ; C. would smile a sort of negative smile ; 
and you would say, " I prefer hearing Bishop Otey," if you 
had heard the sermon and were asked how you liked it. 

To the same question I should reply, " that the preacher, 
it is true, was somewhat illiterate and unnecessarily boisterous, 
but was fluent and sensible, with an earnestness of manner ^ 
that indicated sincerity ; and believing that his preaching was 
calculated to instruct the more ignorant, and stimulate to good 
conduct many differently constituted from myself, I could 
listen patiently and respectfully. The preacher, I learn, is a 
Cumberland Presbyterian. 

I neglected to say, I am at the St. Charles Hotel. You 



OR; HEART WHISPERS. 73 

recollect it^ don't you ? with its five or six flight of steps, its 
fine carpets, its spring mattresses, its hundreds of " waiters," 
its table luxuries ? 

Ah me ! You are thinking of the Crescent City, and I am 
in Belton, a village of two or three hundred inhabitants, on 
the flat banks of Noland's Creek, in Texas. "Were I at the 
former, I should feel very differently. If no letter awaited 
me, the telegraph could soon tell me whether you, and Alice, 
and Anna, and ^^ Beauty" were well or unwell, dead or alive. 
Away off here, out of reach of the wires, and expecting no 
written communication, I feel the absence from home much 
more acutely than I do in ^^ the States.'' Nothing but a sense 
of duty, and the belief that I am serving you all, render these 
constant pilgrimages bearable. 

It is the inexorable doom of every man, without any excep- 
tion, to live by the sweat of his brow. There is no way to 
escape it. No matter what circumstances surround him, 
however high-born, gifted, affluent, man must sioeat. The 
only difference between men being, that those who are capable 
of bearing the sweating process the most cheerfully, generally 
sweat the least. 

This eternal toil for bread and meat used to force out the 
perspiration from me. I looked forward to the time when it 
would cease; tried to shorten the interval, and fretted and 
hurried, hoping I might be enabled to spend the meridian 
and evening of my life in labours congenial to my feelings 
and aspirations, blessed with an abundance for ourselves, our 
children, and the neighbouring poor. This hope has been 
blasted. 
7 



74' A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

*' Work, w(^rk, till you die ! and work at the very things 
you despise. Toil for money h?/ the dime, you man with noble 
aspirations, with an enlarged philanthropy, till Death comes ! 
Yes ! you lover of philosophy, of literature, of composition, 
quit them all ; support your family, toil for a competency, for 
money — and you may gain it^ but only by piecemeal. Work, 
husband and father! and work amid the tortures of sus- 
pense," 

As soon as I read and deciphered this handwriting on the 
wall, I submitted; and a pleasant perspiration broke forth. 
I work, work, work, — I toil harder than I ever did before. I 
sweat too ; but the toil has become a pleasure, and the perspira- 
tion is easy and natural. 

Occasionally a foreboding of evil at home forces out an 
unnatural drop. I read the inscription again — I look up, the 
heavens seem to smile, and God seems to say, " Go on, you 
are in the path of duty. Fear no evil, I will take care of you 
and yours." Then the usually calm, deep happiness of my 
soul surges into a tumult of enjoyment. Nobody knows this ; 
you would never have known it, but for the apparent accident 
of your requesting me to journalize my letters. 

How little do we know of others ? Who, seeing me, walking 
the streets, or buying a cow, or dunning a man, or trading for 
land, or denouncing a scoundrel to his face, or getting mad 
because I stumped my toe; or prescribing a blue pill for a 
fellow who thinks he knows more about medicine than I do, 
because my prescription is simple, who, I say, seeing these 
things, supposes that I carry in my bosom so fixed and so 
cheerful a philosophy ? Perhaps the apparently stupid fellow. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 75 

for whom I prescribe, or with whom I trade, has, too, some 
holy aspirations, some high, and mighty, and pleasant 
thoughts dwelling in the arcana of his nature, which he has 
never shaped into words, or considers too sacred for utterance. 

Does that clear mind of yours swim and struggle through a 
sea of thoughts before it arrives at its usually correct con- 
clusions ? Or does it fly over to them like a beautiful bird ? 
Or does it reach them by intuition ? How is this ? Analyze 
your own mental operations, and tell me all about them. The 
analysis will unfold you to yourself, enlarge the area of your 
vision ; amuse and improve you. 

(Sunday meditations interrupted by Shelton.) The thread 
of thought being severed, I will, though I have just ended 
another thirty mile ride, return and proceed with the journal. 

January 6th. Arrived in "Wharton, met a gentleman, 
asked him where was the hotel ? He made a gesture indicat- 
ing that he was deaf. I meet him at Mrs. Menefee's, and 
discovered, that he was also dumb. He pulled out his pocket- 
slate and pencil; and by means of these, we held quite a 
conversation. McKinley, I believe, was his name. He and 
another mute from New York were travelling through Texas, 
giving pantomimic exhibitions, illustrative of the language of 
signs, and the various human passions. Wharton is a very 
small place, and on the decline. 

******* 

January 7th. Arranged my matters, and was introduced by 
J. Rust, Esq., to a Mr. Deaderick, who kindly drew me a 
plan of my route, for some distance, in order to prevent my 



76 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

getting lost in the houseless region, into which I was about to 
advance. 

The morning was pleasant. It was too warm for cloak or 
blanket. I threw them across the saddle and paced off. In 
a few moments I drew on my blanket. In less than an hour 
I had to put on my cloak also; and by the time I fairly 
entered the wide prairie that stretches its long, unbroken level 
for forty or fifty miles between the wooded bottoms of the 
Colorado and the Brazos, Boreas had become furious, and was 
blowing his icy breath in unceasing gusts, athwart the treeless 
and shrubless plain, seemingly concentrating his vengeance 
upon me, the solitary traveller in that bleak domain. I 
thought for a moment of home, and fire, saw there was no 
chance to back out, and determined to face the monster cheer- 
fully. I hooped and hallooed, startling the cranes, the wild 
geese and the deer with the verberations of my voice. I held 
conversations with myself, made speeches, repeated poetry, and 
caused the savage wilderness to resound with my invocations 
and thanks to that Being, whose name had probably never 
before been reverently pronounced within it. I evoked the 
images of the living and the dead. Rarely, if ever, before did 
they come so quickly and so distinctly to my call. Away off, 
there, alone, I felt their association to be delightful; and 
thanked God from the very depths of my soul that I had n% 
reason to fear any being in his Universe, whether it approached 
as man, woman, angel, ghost. 

My memory and imagination seemed to be rendered more 
acute by this battle with Boreas. The Past with its minutest 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 7T 

features clearly delineated, travelled on my right, and on my 
left rode his beautiful daughter, the Future. 

My horse is a bay, with white spots. This reminded me of 
'•'■ Spot,'' pa's favourite filly, over the neck of whose blind mo- 
ther, ^' the old sorrel mare," I used to turn summersets when 
a boy, as she stumbled and fell over the large chips from the 
hewed logs that lay in the paths and roads of West Tennessee, 
when West Tennessee was a forest, and the people built log 
cabins. Thinking of his favourite filly, reminded me of my 
father, with his white cravat, his blue cloth suit, his Quaker- 
cut coat, his jet black hair, his dark and piercing eyes, lih 
transcendent honesti/, which rendered him almost incapable of 
doing himself justice, either in trading, or in rehearsing a 
transaction about which he differed with another — so afraid 
was he of doing injustice to that other, especially if absent; 
of his deep, abiding, unvarying, consistent piety, whose motto 
was, In doubtful matters, err on the safe side ; particularly 
if that error involves self-sacrifice. 

I have an extensive and intimate acquaintance with mem- 
bers of all the churches. In many of them I have confidence ; 
' but my father was the only person I ever knew with whom 
John Wesley could have found no fault. It is not possible 
that any one ever could have been more pious. He attended 
to the smaller, and did not neglect the weightier, matters of 
the law. His judgment was good, and his heart, I believe, 
was perfect in the sight of God. 

He taught me, in his firm, affectionate way, many a useful 
lesson; but of all the lessons I ever learned from his holy lips, 
or his Christ-like example, there are none I prize more highly, 
7* 



78 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 



1 



none wliich have been more serviceable to me, none that I 
would prefer to have engraved on the minds and hearts of my 
children than the following : 

Get all the light you can — then do what you^ not other 
people, think right. 

If you have a series of duties to perform to-day, perform 
the most disagreeable first. 

Thinking about my father always evokes the image of my 
honest, strong-souled, and sincerely devout mother. As I 
wrote her from Cincinnati, ^^ affection for her is a part of my 
nature.'' No sort of treatment, however unjust, could eradi- 
cate it. I believe it would stand any test that the dear old 
lady could be induced to apply. May the span of her life be 
lengthened ! May the evening of her days be gilded with 
every earthly blessing, and cheered by every heavenly hope ! 

Thinking of the parents brought up the children. 

" EUy," the first child whose sweet ways arrested my boyish 
attention and touched my boyish heart, appeared in girlhood's 
budding loveliness before me. Mary and Annie were too near 
my own age for their childhood to charm me. But the prattle 
of Elly haunts my memory with its sweet music. Her young 
ambition — her first efforts at composition — her gentle enthusi- 
asm — her deep affection for ^^ brother" — her sudden death, 
hastened, I sometimes think, by that brother not being an 
older physician — force forth, at this distant period, a sigh; 
and excite a yearning to know whether we shall again see and 
recognise the departed. My sweet, my affectionate sister, cut 
down in the spring-time of thy beautiful life; it seems that I 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 79 

feel, even now, the touching, sacred, softening influences of 
thy lovely presence. 

Mr. Lamb's house, his family, the school girls — Doctor Hig- 
gins arriving just after Elly had begun to sink into the col- 
lapse of death ; and Carry, lying in an adjacent room, calm, 
and patient, though dangerously ill — these scenes, one and all, 
rise palpably before me. Carry and Annie's studying under 
brother's superintendence — the one trudging from Mrs. Gra- 
cey's in Tennessee, to Mr. Ransom's school — the other, satchel 
in hand, gliding over the smooth, clean sidewalks in Philadel- 
phia, from Mrs. Willis's to the Misses Young — their affection 
and respect for that *' brother ;'' his deep love for them ; his 
earnest efforts for their good ; his occasional harshness in words, 
never in act ; their association with him when children ; their 
development into intelligent and beautiful women, admired 
wherever known; and their deaths, in the very bloom of 
young womanhood, away from that "brother," who was then 
an old physician — are memories fresh, vital, stirring as the 
incidents of yesterday. 

And Willie, the noble-looking boy, the paragon of infantile 
beauty. Little traveller through this world, short as was 
your sojourn here, you will not be forgotten. Mother, and 
sisters, and father, and others who saw thy young beauty, will 
talk of thee while they live, and hope to meet thy bright spirit 
hereafter. 

Amid all these imaginings, amid all my thoughts, in soli- 
tude or in society, idle or busy, the images of certain sweet, 
human faces, are always visible. They are those of wife and 
children. For them I absent myself from home and comfort. 



80 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

For them I sliiver in ^' the norther." For them vanity is sac- 
rificed, and ambition has ceased even to be a dream. The 
reflection that I am working for them makes trouble a pleasure, 
and sacrifice a luxury. 

January 21, 1856. I am now at Lavaca, in the sitting- 
room, with several men talking around me. Thus, all I write 
to you, is written, sometimes during the fatigue of a long 
days' ride, and generally in the midst of bustle and confusion. 
This is a sociable country. The people seem to take a quick 
liking to "the Doctor," and frequently talk to me so that I can 
only write a few lines before having to stop. Were it not for 
this, how much do you suppose I would write? Are you not 
glad that something arrests this cacoethes scribendi with which 
I am attacked when I start t« talk to you with the V^^^ ^ ^ 
I have travelled over five hundred miles in Texas. This is 
the second letter of eight or ten pages I have written you, and 
have not yet gotten thirty miles from Wharton. I shall try 
to curtail the history of my travels; and will now, as my 
paper is "out," stop for the present. Kiss the brats, and 
accept the same for yourself. 

Yours, affectionately, 

William Atson. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 81 



LETTER X. 

Atson's religious dogmas. — Tom Moore's theology corrected. — Life is a 
battle. — Men make themselves miserable. — Old women long for misery. 
The way to transact business rapidly. — Our flowers. 

Lavaca, Texas, January 22, 1856. 

Dear Molly: — On yesterday I closed a letter to you, 
expecting to start to ^^ Powder Horn'' to-day, and take a steamer 
for Galveston and New Orleans. To-day the dread that the 
steamer will miss a trip, and not leave till next Saturday, is 
ripening into a woful certainty. This is a grievous disappoint- 
ment. I had ridden hard and steadily through '^wind and 
weather," in order to reach port in time for to-morrow's steamer. 
I expected also by Thursday to be in Galveston, reading letters 
from home. As it is, I must stay here in the " San Antonio 
House," where I can only get the benefit of a fire by sitting 
in the " bar-room ;" though the snow is falling in light flakes 
upon the frozen ground. 

I have but little business, and the week must be spent. The 
suspense is well nigh over — the still flickering hope of starting 
to-morrow is about extinguished. And in order to make the 
days fly past, instead of dragging their slow length along, I 
shall occupy every spare moment. Miserable must be the man, 



82 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 



1 



who, possessing health and the five senses, cannot make him- 
se]f comfortable in the midst of society and plenty, with books, 
pen, thought, and conversation, to quiet restlessness and expel 
ennui. 

In my letter of yesterday, I was telling you of the sweet 
company that travelled with me through the prairie. Of all 
my thoughts I cannot tell you. To attempt this would require 
disquisitions of "learned length and thundering sound'' on 
God, Christ, religion, philosophy; and nothing would induce me 
to drown your pure faith in a sea of metaphysical speculation. 
The only dogmas in my creed are, that God is wise and good, 
that He will take care of the humble and the honest; and 
that no religion can be the true one, which is not calculated to 
make its possessor happier and better. Thinking of these 
things brought to mind a beautiful song of Tom Moore — and 
as the sound of the poetic words were lost in the distance, it 
seemed to me to be a pity that so good a poet should have been 
so poor a theologian ; and such a harsh judge of his race as to 
have used the words "illusion" and "deceitful,'' when it 
would have been so easy for him to have written, 

This world is all a fleeting show, 
For man's probation given ; 
The smiles of joy, the tears of woe 
Do for a moment shine and flow — 
There's nothing true but heaven. 

Thus, with the music of my thoughts, I faced the music 
of the 

"Wind which for no creature careth, 
Yet stealeth sweets from everything." 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 83 

And it is a singular fact, that, owing to this extra exertion 
to keep from being cold and miserable, the time flew by the 
fastest ; yes, I was the happiest on those days when the raving 
norther, which does, and did, during my tour, freeze people to 
death, was blowing most coldly and most fiercely about me. 

I wish I could teach my little girls that life is a battle, 
instituted by God merely to test our courage, and develop our 
energies ; and should be fought as earnestly and as cheerfully 
as the stern warrior fights, 

"When honour's eye is on daring deeds, 
And fame ia there to tell who bleeds." 

The older I get, the more I see of the world, the oftener I ask, 
what is the use of being unhappy? The sour, grumbling 
man, looks at me with astonishment ; and I try deHcately to 
prescribe for him, by telling how little it takes to make me 
happy ; how I extract the honey from every flower, eschew the 
poison, gulp down the medicine quickly, forget the disagreea- 
ble, dwell upon the pleasant, and think about God. 

Men make themselves miserable hy sliding into bad habits ; 
but woman, without any bad habits, as she grows old, seems to 
long for misery as the hunted hart for the cooling water-brook. 
She shuts her ears to consolatory sounds, and listens only to 
doleful music. If a friend, a husband, a child dies, instead 
of weeping with that tender melancholy, which is made pleasant 
by the reflections — if a man die he shall live again ; and if we 
all live we shall meet again — she hugs despair to her bosom, 
supposing it to be disrespectful to the departed not to be mis- 



84 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

erable ; when the departed, if her friend, and not a scoundrel, 
must sincerely desire her to be happy. 

Now I do not intend for you or my daughters to be old 
women of this stamp. I should regard your misery as disre- 
spectful to me, and ingratitude to your Creator. The Deity, 
being better than I am, may "let you off" more easily; but 
you know I won't take the slightest insult from any one. So 
begin at once to resist the proneness of your woman's nature 
to search for misery, and let me find you cheerful amid the 
perplexities of your domestic cares. Seek after happiness, 
and the wrinkles may furrow forehead and cheeks, the eyes 
lose their lustre, the beauty pass away like a dream — ^but your 
heart will remain fresh, healthy, and young. 

Powder Horn, January 23, 1856.* 
Heavens ! how garrulous I am ! But there's no harm in 
being so — I am only talking to my " better half.'^ A change 
of position stopped this garrulity yesterday. At the last mo- 
ment, a gentleman I was waiting to see, arrived. My business 
was soon arranged — the stage drove up, I jumped in, and 
arrived here last night after ten o'clock. I made this move 
against the earnest protestations and plausible arguments of 
mine host, and other Lavaca acquaintances. To which I re- 
plied, that my duty was to be here ready for the steamer. If 
she didn't come, that was her business, not mine. 

To, this obstinate and energetic adherence to the safest 
course, I attribute mainly my success as a traveller. I have 

* The reader will please recollect that he is reading letters generally 
begun with the intention of being finished on a sheet of paper. 



ORj HEART WHISPERS. 85 

been in Texas twenty-two or three days, have in that short 
period travelled about four hundred miles on horseback, and 
one hundred and fifty by stage ; and attended to a large amount 
of business as well as if I had taken three months. Having 
made provision for changes of weather, no degree of inclemency 
stopped me. The polite, earnest, firm representation to each 
man with whom I had business, that I was a stranger, away 
from home, in a hurry to return, and must be attended to, 
induced every one to give me their immediate and undivided 
attention until a settlement was effected. Thus it was I got 
along so rapidly. And but for the stoppage of a steamer to 
be repaired, I should soon be floating over the green waters 
of the Grulf letterwardsj if not homewards. 

Unless thoughts properly appertain to a journal, I am com- 
pletely off the track, and I will try to find my way back to it 
in the next. 

It is useless for me to follow the old form of sending my 
love to you and the three flowers blooming around you. May 
God gild your life with every blessing compatible with your 
true interests ! May the summer not wither the spring beauty 
of our flowers ; and autumn's yellow tints increase their loveli- 
ness ! 

Yours affectionately, 

William Atson. 
8 



A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 



LETTER XI. 

Took the wrong road. — Tobacco. — A woman smoker. — Dipping young 
ladies.— Cranes. — Wild geese and deer. — Hilly Prairie. 

Cassimir House, January 23, 1856. 

Dear Molly : — (January 7, 1856.) — Left "Wharton and 
travelled to ^' Misther'^ Vosbuygh's ; didn't get lost but once, 
and then was directed by a woman, 

" Oh woman, woman, what a book of folly 
Thou dost cause in man." 

It was only for a few minutes that I wandered in the wrong 
direction. The road I should have taken was concealed by 
water, and the one I did take soon ended. At its termination 
I found a negro wagoner, who had cut his way thither to get 
a load of wood. He showed me the right path. In ten 
minutes I should have been wrong again, but happened — that's 
not the right word, but I'll let it stand — to meet a boy, who 
cautioned me against a right hand road, which otherwise I 
should most certainly have taken. 

Thus it was I did not make an important mistake the whole 
route. I either guessed right, though the poorest of woods- 
men, or met some one in the nick of time : a coincidence 
deemed exceedingly fortunate, where houses are so far apart, 
and wayfarers so scarce. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 87 

To-day, and previously, I had worn my cloak over my 
blanket. The wind blew the former about so, I determined 
to reverse this plan, and also to get Mrs. Vosbuygh to sew 
strings on it. She did so, and was in other respects very 
polite and kind. Is it not a pity, after making so favourable 
an impression, she should let me see her smoking a cigar ? 
With all my sight-seeing I never saw this sight before. 

As I neither chew tobacco, smoke, nor drink liquor, I am 
under no obligation to defend men who cultivate those habits; 
and I will not defend them. On the contrary, I tell them 
they are slaves ^ abject slaves, not of one good owner, but of 
three bad masters. I philosophize on the moral and physical 
impossibility of outside, artificial stimulants affording happi- 
ness, because of the inevitable consequent depression. I 
dwell on the luxury of good health, a natural flow of spirits 
bubbling out of a body that wants nothing but food and 
raiment. I jocosely call them miserable wretches. Laugh at 
them about their eternal wants — tobacco now, then a ci^-ar 
then liquor, then water. On account of the former wanting- 
the last often enough to torture to death a man who has re- 
alized the luxury of abstinence from vice, and temperance in 
eating. I picture to them not only the torture of loanting, 
but the anxiety and misery of being " out,'' and unable to get 
the tobacco, the cigars, the brandy, to suit their refined or 
vitiated taste. Thus I ^^ run on" to tobacco chewing, cigar 
smoking, drinking, spitting men, and they take it kindly, for 
two reasons : one is, I do it affectionately, and evidently from 
good motives, with none of the formality of the lecturer. The 
other is, that if anybody takes any exception to anything he 



88 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

says, this mild-mannered, rather timid sort of talking man, in 
the twinkling of an eye is metamorphosed into one with a 
fighting, ^'go to the devil'' look and tone, which soon con- 
vinces the objector that there is no whining, no cant in his 
composition. 

But it is pity that enlists my feelings in behalf of my suf- 
fering-seeking and enslaved brothers. I regard the aberrations 
of woman in an entirely diflferent light. Man is, and was de- 
signed to be, a coarser animal. We expect, we pardon coarse- 
ness in him. But woman is more delicately organized, intel- 
lectually, morally, and physically. God made her to be the 
helpmate of man — not to drag him down, but to lift him up. 
Christianity restored her to her pristine condition for the same 
purpose. She is, emphatically, the salt of the earth ; and if 
the salt loses its savour, wherewith shall it be salted? If 
man learns not from his mother, from woman, the highest 
standard of practical human purity, who will teach it to him ? 

What, therefore, is a vice in man, is a crime in woman. 

I dislike indelicacy, immodesty, vulgarity in men ; but it 
makes me blush for the whole sex to see any exhibitions of 
this kind by a woman. Smoking, chewing, snuflfing, dipping, 
drinking, are all, morally considered, the same habit — the 
habit of resorting to artificial stimuli for enjoyment, instead 
of depending on common sense, nature, and God. Being 
identical in principle, how can a mother, wife, or sister, tell 
son, husband, brother, he can and ought to quit drinking, when 
she can't quit smoking or dipping. 

At Boston's, near Austin, where I "spent a night,'* his 
daughter, a rosy-cheeked girl of sixteen or seventeen, and 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 89 

another handsome, sensible young lady of the same age, came 
into the sitting-room with snuff-boxes and tooth-brushes, hard 
at work, rubbing their pearly teeth, and spitting ! 

I thought of my daughters, and how grateful I would be to 
any one who would even try to rescue them from the edge of 
the precipice of a bad habit; and kindly and affectionately 
told them I was an old doctor, and the father of little girls, 
who would after a while be grown young ladies; that as one 
deeply interested in the welfare of their sex, they must per- 
mit me to advise them as a friend and as a physician. I did 
BO. They had thoughtlessly begun the practice of this evil, 
and seeing the consequences, pledged me their word they 
would stop before the habit became fixed. 

Writing this to you, who don't smoke, chew, snuff, dip, nor 
spit, and will not even drink half as much as I prescribe for 
you, would be very absurd, were it not that, when writing to 
the mother, I am always thinking about the delicate little trio 
that cluster about her. 

The dipping young ladies just alluded to were ignorant of 
the indelicacy, the vulgarity, the misery of the habit they were 
acquiring. Our children, unless instructed, may ignorantly 
begin that, or a worse one, and not discover their error until 
completely enslaved. 

January 8. With cloak on, well tied, and blanket over 
that, I started early in the frosty morning, and plunged cheer- 
fully into the icy air-bath. In a short time I began to leave 
the level prairie, through which I had travelled about a hundred 
miles, with nothing external to interest me but the flocks of 
cranes, the wild geese, and the agile deer. 
8* 



90 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

The latter is a beautiful sight. You are two hundred yards 
distant. The herd is quietly and fearlessly grazing. You are 
now fifty yards nearer. One of them sees or scents approach- 
ing danger. He lifts his head high in air, turns his broad, 
white tail erectly up, looks about with an intelligent scrutiny, 
wheels half around, places one fore-foot in advance, arranges 
body and limbs for a race, stands a moment, and then, accord- 
ing to his conclusion as to the imminence of the danger, either 
trots off a short distance, and stops and looks again, or runs 
away. The others, in the mean time, follow suit, according 
to their own individual conclusions. Now, these pauses, these 
apparently intelligent observations, calculations, reasonings, 
are very interesting; and these preparatory and primary motions 
are exquisitely graceful. 

I now began to ascend the hilly prairie. Before, all the 
timber was in the bottoms of the Brazos and the Colorado. 
Here forest began to alternate with prairie — the former first 
usurping the ascendency, then the latter. The extent of each 
so varying as to present to the eye by turns '' motts of timber'^ 
and islands of prairie : the undulations of the ground and the 
position of the trees being so arranged as rarely to obstruct 
the vision. For the greater part of ten miles I could see the 
white houses of Belleville. 

Up to this point I had not admired Texas. I had just sent 
word to old Doctor "Wright, by a negro, with whom I scraped 
up an acquaintance last night, that if he wished " sensible'^ 
inscribed on his tombstone, he should move back to Tennessee. 
Now, however, I could not deny that the scenery was pretty. 
*' Hills over hills, a surging scene, only limited by the blue 



I 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 91 

distance'^— it could not be otherwise. When spring paints 
the earth green, and hangs new leaves upon the trees, it must 
be beautiful. 

The steamer "Charles Morgan'' has just arrived; and with 
the expression of a hope that I may soon kiss you, Alice, and 
the little prattlers, I will, for the present, say "good bye." 
Yours and theirsj 

William Atson. 



LETTER XII. 

Brenham, landlord, Washington.-" Bob Wilkins."-Country between 
Washington and Independence.-India rubber.-McChristy's.-Cald- 
well. — David Higgason. 

Powder Horn, January 24, 1856. 

Dear Molly:— (January 9). Stayed at Brenham last 
night after a ride of forty miles. The landlord was from Ten- 
nessee, was a schoolmate of Archibald Wright, Esq., had a 
very pretty daughter who sat at the head of the table; and a 
plenty to eat; but, " good heavens," how dirty everything was ! 
Recollect he came from your part of Tennessee, not mine. 
From the latter I saw some persons who were quite neat. 

I didn't fancy L. much at first. His eye was keen, his chin 
square, his voice firm, his sentiments stern. He talked too 
much, and was too much in favour of hanging his fellow-crea- 
tures. One good act of his, however, came under my observa- 
tion during one night's sojourn beneath his roof. A young 
man, travelling with fruit trees to sell, who thought himself 



92 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN J 

"keen as a briar/' urged him to play cards with him, offering 
to bet his trees. L. finally consented to play, and won without 
difficulty. The next morning he told the young man if he 
would promise not to gamble any more he would not only give 
him back the trees, but buy some of him. Whether the pro- 
mise was made I do not know, but as I rode off L. was select- 
ing trees, and said he was buying them. 

To-day travelled to Washington, and called on Bob Wilkins. 
You know I dislike to have my plans thwarted, and that mere 
social visiting is with me almost a moral impossibility. So I 
hesitated about going three or four miles out of the way, to 
make this visit. The reflection, that to pass by this old friend 
would not be doing to him as I would have him do to me, were 
our situations reversed, turned the wavering scale, and to his 
house I went. Bob and his wife received me with friendly 
warmth, and I would not have succeeded in getting away the 
next morning but by exerting all my firmness, and whenever 
he insisted upon my staying, calling him "Jim Wilkins."* 

My extensive association with men, and their uniform kind- 
ness to me, has thawed that seeming indifference to others 
with which ignorance of human nature and an excess of sensi- 
tiveness had incrusted my soul. I was afraid of being in the 
way. I disliked presumption, and feared to presume upon peo- 
ple's liking me. I saw no peculiar attractions about myself— 
I see none now. Experience has, however, demonstrated the 
fact that my acquaintances, old and new, do like me. At any 



* "Jim Wilkins" was remarkable for his pertinacious hospitality— though 
his good judgment is only surpassed by his true soul. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 93 

rate they treat me with such confidence, with such practical 
cordiality, with such a regard for my comfort and convenience, 
so different from and superior to mere etiquette, that though 
it might seem smart, it would be really mean, to doubt their 
sincerity. 

These views, coupled with the conclusion that it is better 
to be happy than smart, are working a change within me. 
They have taught me that clanship is an incubus upon hos- 
pitality, and that a love of self-communion may be indulged 
to excess. I am now not too proud to let a man see that I 
like him, although I may not be certain that the liking is reci- 
procated. I am now not ashamed to give such a one little, 
delicate, advance evidences of my esteem. I can now, accord- 
ing to circumstances, with pleasure retire into the deep sab- 
bath of my nature, or mingle in society, allowing the keys of 
my heart to give back music to the touches of kindness, audi- 
ble to every performer. 

January 10. I would start; and, although the day was 
cold, " Bob'^ rode with me eight or nine miles. His cottage 
is delightfully situated on a high hill, in the midst of live- 
oaks. Beneath, and in front, visible for fifteen miles, lies the 
wooded bottom of the Brazos. In the rear, extending to Inde- 
pendence, twelve miles distant, stretches a country much more 
worthy of Coleridge's description than that to which I applied 
it. The hills are higher, and instead of post-oak, live-oak and 
cedar trees assume dominion in the bosom of the rolling prairie. 
The term " pretty'^ would not apply to the scenery here. It 
is too grand for that. One who has travelled over the moun- 
tains of old Virginia, or seen the foam and heard the roar of 



94 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

Niagara's cataract ; or stood in the green vale where the Arve 
and Arveiron " rave ceaselessly," and gazed upwards at Cha- 
mouny's glassy glaciers glittering in the sunlight — would 
scarcely call it suhlime. But, with these landscapes impressed 
upon my memory, or pictured on my imagination, I must 
and will assert it to be magnificently heautiful. " Hills over 
hills, a surging scene only limited by the blue distance," 
repeated and studied, until you comprehend, realize, feel, see 
the picture the poet presents with such wonderful condensation, 
will give you an exact daguerreotype of this romantic region, 
if you allow " the blue distance" to mingle with and gradually 
lose itself in that peculiar and indescribable hue, more beau- 
tiful than the blue of sea or sky, which the circumference of 
distant forests always assumes. After shaking Wilkins's 
friendly hand I was again alone. Being at his house had 
caused the home-feeling to come over me. To have stayed 
with him a day would have been as foolish as Hannibal's long 
delay at Capua. When I again started, riding on horseback 
would have been more disagreeable, the wind would have 
seemed colder, the clouds more threatening, and getting wet 
and sleeping between dirty sheets more horrible. So on I 
went. 

As I alighted in Independence the light shower, which had ■ 
just commenced, became more copious. I purchased another 
umbrella, having lost the old one, and an India rubber suit. 
How I do hate to buy anything for myself while honesty 
requires me to permit you to economize ! I believe I would 
have taken the rain rather than incurred this expense, had it 
not been for the fear of getting sick, and thus becoming a tax 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 95 

upon, instead of being the supporter of, you and ours. In the 
afternoon I travelled nearly twenty-five miles. It rained most 
of the time, and was so cold that the rain froze on my um- 
brella whilst falling, rendering the cambric so stiff that I could 
not close it till the ice had been thawed by the fire. I stopped 
at McChristy's just before sundown. His house was a little 
log hut with a shed behind, and he was not at home. His 
wife and son said I could stay, if willing to ^^put up" with 
their poor accommodations. It was seven miles to Caldwell, 
and no house on the road. I had ridden my horse fast, and 
was not unwilling to rest myself. So I not only accepted their 
proposition, but did so cheerfully. 

After waiting two long hours I was invited to a supper of 
weak coffee without milk sweetened in the coffee pot, coarse 
corn bread, and a little badly fried meat. I eat like I had 
been used to nothing better, although I had a nice snack in 
my saddle-bags, put there by Mrs. Wilkins. Confound a man, 
I say, who will unnecessarily hurt the feelings of any one who 
is evidently trying to serve him. 

January 11. Not raining, but cloudy and cold. Reached 
town by breakfast time, requested the landlady to sew up my 
leggins, and send for David Higgason, whom I have known 
from boyhood's hour. He was delighted to see me himself, 
and would take me to see his wife and family. I sent the 
former word that she must come right out, I had thirty odd 
miles to travel that day, and couldn't wait for hair combing, 
dressing, &c., and out she and her daughters came. Now 
what do you think, all the way going to the house I was dis- 
cussing in my own mind the question, whether I had ever 



96 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

known this wife David was so anxious for me to see. Hei 
face dispelled all doubt. It was as familiar to me as yours. 
Had I not known her for years ? Had I not often stood with 
her by the bedside of the sick ? Wasn't I glad I had not 
intimated my doubts to her husband ? It would, I know, have 
distressed her, and destroyed the pleasure of our meeting had 
she been aware that I had been so forgetful of her. My sheet 
is full. 

Yours and the children's, 

William Atson. 



LETTER XIII. 

Texas. — Little River. — Ferryman. — A party. — Treacherous agent — A 
knave is a fool. — Belton. — An Arcadian vale, — Let's move to Texas. 

Cassimir House, January 24, 1856. 
January 11. Travelled over forty miles, arrived in 
Cameron about sunset, crossed Little River — it is little sure 
enough — in a boat, and rode off without paying ferriage. The 
black ferryman was, I suppose, too polite to remind me of my 
forgetfulness. A party was to be given that night at his 
master's on the opposite bank. The belles and beaux from the 
village were on their way to the frolic. I requested one of 
the latter to tell the polite negro I would leave the dime with 
the hotel-keeper. The next morning at breakfast it was 
reported that more whiskey had just been sent for, and the 
revellers were still whirling through the mazes of the giddy 
dance. 



OR; HEART WHISPERS. 97 

January 12. Started early, rode iato IBelton about 4 
o clock P^ M., aod accidentally met my correspondent Arthur 
Fann.n, Esq., of S. He was very polite; and yet there waa 
an uneas-ness about him, a disposition U, hang around me, a 
mamfest regret that I had taken the trouble at such an unfa- 
vourable t.me for selling, to come so far out of the way tt 
examine my land, even after I had assured him that other ■ 
business brought me to Texas, which excited a suspicion of 
h.s intcgnty. I made repeated inquiries as to his character, 
and the responses were all favourable, so much so, that I 
almost concluded to consider the suspicion erroneous 

It was arranged that he and I should ride out to the land 
together. On Sunday I attended church, met with and intro- 
duced myself to Mr. Shelton, whose home-tract adjoins mine. 
He znvited me to his house, and there I spent the night 
Monday morning I rode to see the squatters on my land One 
of them ,s a good religious old lady. The other, her brother- 
>n-law, appears to be a plain, polite, rough, sensible, honest 
man They were evidently fearful that I would blame them 
for the destruction of my timber. I afterwards learned who 
cut and hauled it away. Timber, you know, is scarce, and 
, consequently valuable, in this stat«. Fannill had been the 
mam depredator, and had never commenced his depredation, 
until he began to act as my agent. While complaining to me 
of others, he was the leader of the robber band. My inform- 
ants had protested against his course; and he had silenced 
them by saying he was my agent, and presumed he knew what 
was right; other evidence confirmed their allegation. I was 
really indignant and sorry : indignant that a man of Fannill's 



08 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

intelligence should stoop so low as to betray his trust for so 
small a boon; sorry that he should be silly enough to be mean. 
It is very common to hear people say, "that fellow is a 
great rascal, but he is very smart." This is almost um.er- 
sally a mistake. The fellow has a kind of deceptive mental 
spric^htliness, but no real intellectual profundity. A far- 
righted man, especially in a civilized country, must see that 
rascality "won't pay." I employed a lawyer of Austin to 
teach FauuiU this fact. My tract is a much better one, too, 
than it had been represented to be. Out of the thousand 
acres, nearly three hundred are as level and as rich as they can 
be, the balance is covered with timber; and though somewhat 
rocky and hilly, would be considered superb land m Ten- 
nessee-while the rocks are as valuable as the timber for 
fencing and building. Only about forty acres of the cedar is 
burnt, and that is not ruined. FannlU reported it to be all 

burned up. i • • • 

On account of the drought last year, the crops in this vici- 
nity failed. This has rendered corn scarce and high. In 
consequence of these things emigrants pass by, and the price 
of land has fallen. 

Belton is unfortunately located in a low place. It may 
eventually extend over the adjacent hills. Some of the 
houses are beautiful. There are two kinds of rock in this 
rec^iou which are suitable for building purposes. Both abound 
on" my place ; one is hard, the other soft. The latter can be 
shaped, like wood, by means of saw and plane. It is as beau- 
tiful as marble, and so substantial that some construct the 
entire house of it. 



99 

The country around tlie village is watered by Noland's 
Creek, the Leon, and Lampases — lovely streams, whose trans- 
parent waters flow over rocky bottoms. The scenery is beau- 
tiful — prairie and woodland, woodland and prairie somewhat 
similar to that previously described. 

But I must now take you out to my and Shelton's lands. 
Nature made them one, and if I were rich they should remain 
undivided. Look! you are in a valley — not an undulation 
roughens its surface; neither shrub nor tree obstruct your 
vision ; Nolan d's crystal stream winds and murmurs through 
its bosom ; gently rounded hills, covered with cedar and live- 
oak, with ever and anon a white rock peeping through their 
evergreen foliage, circumscribe it. 

Go to some lonely and sequestered spot, in the quiet of a 
Sabbath evening, and drink in this scene with your eye 

I was enchanted. To call it pretty would be a libel. It 
was not sublime, it was not magnificently beautiful. It was 
exquisitely lovely; and its loveliness was entirely feminine. 
It touched my heart '' like the light of a dark eye in woman.'' 
Dim old memories revived. Scenes, and images with pleasant 
and not unfamiliar countenances, as though they might or 
might not have been acquaintances long ago, floated indis- 
tinctly about me. I thought of Abraham, and Isaac, and 
Jacob tending their flocks ; of David, the shepherd boy, play- 
ing the harp in the green vales amid the vine-clad hills of 
Palestine; of the cedars of Lebanon; of the Georgics of Virgil; 
of the minstrelsy of Homer, the old, blind, wandering Grecian 
bard ; of Orpheus, Apollo, and Arcadian landscapes. 

I was in love with my property, and nothing but poverty 



100 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN) 

could induce me to sell it. It affords me pleasure to know 
that I possess such a picturesque spot of earth. The remem- 
brance of its beauty enchante the eye of the mind, as the 
remembrance of Jenny Lind's singing does the ear of the soul. 
Health too dwells in the hills, and reigns over the valley. 
This section of the country is also fine for stock; and more 
money can be made with a small capital, I believe, at stock- 
raising here, than at almost anything else in any other place. 
What say you to moving to this " valley of seclusion," and 
living apart from the turmoil of the world ? Would it not be 
delightful ? Think of it for a moment. In the pleasant even- 
ing we could descend from our tiny white stone cottage amid 
the trees, and with you by my side I could sit piping the pas- 
toral reed, on the bank of Noland's crystal stream, listen to its 
gentle murmur, and watch the children bathing in its waters, 
the cattle grazing in the vale, the sheep sporting beneath the 
evergreens on the hills around, and ^'the blue sky o'erarch- 

ing all.'' 

Then as the sun went down, go up, take a frugal repast; 
and when the sheep and the cattle had lain down to rest, and 
Bleep, "the sweet restorer,'^ was recruiting the energies of the 
servants fatigued with honest toil, and visiting the little ones 
with sweet dreams, we'd walk out in the breezy night and 
view the same scene by the quiet starlight. 
" Dost thou like the picture T' 

I should be in favour of making it a reality, if our children 
were sons instead of daughters, and I was willing for you to 
waste your sweetness on the desert air. 

Yours affectionately, 

William Atson. 



OR; HEART WHISPERS. IQl 



LETTER XIV. 

A Dutchman.-Consult the feelings of your horse.-A new way to rest 
one.— Texas legislature.— Politics.— A speech short as the " Veni vidi 
vici" letter.— Music at Boston's.— A delightful family.— A horse trade, 
and the Author in love again. 

Cassimir House, Powder Horn, January 25, 1856. 

Dear Molly:— I ^qeft oS" at Belton, and now start there. 
January U, 1856. Rode over my land, finished my own 
and Smith & Co.'s business by mid-day, and travelled twenty 
miles in the afternoon. During the whole trip had previously 
overtaken no one travelling in the same direction. At Mrs. 
King's I found a Aac^-driver, who had been ^^ carrying'' a 
Methodist preacher and family to his circuit or station, return- 
_ ing to Austin. He was a Dutchman. I told the anecdote of 
his cholera-scared countryman, and asked him if he had caught 
^' the Mettodis." He was greatly diverted at the success of 
the parson in praying off his hotel bills; evidently forgetting 
that the workman is worthy of his hire. 

January 15. The driver desired my company, and I 
wished to get out of the cold wind and rest from riding horse- 
back. So I hitched my horse behind, and seated myself within 
his Jersey- wagon. Spot led finely. I however was so fearful 
it would fatigue him more than being rode, I did not deter- 
9* 



■ 



102 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN J 

mme to indulge long in the luxury of this change, till after 
discovering, by a resort to my watch, that though the Dutch- 
man's big grays were apparently travelling at a greatly in- 
creased speed, we were really going very little faster than my 
usual gait. The next day I was surprised to find Spot as 
spirited as though he had been resting, instead of pacing after 
the hack. I had not heard then that they carry the mail 
from El Paso to San Antonio, seven hundred miles, by means 
of a number of mules, or horses, who travel the entire distance 
with only a stoppage of two or three hours occasionally, they 
beino- rested and their energies recruited mainly by bemg 
transferred, by turns, from the drudgery of pulling the wagon 
to the luxury of being led behind, or driven before it. A 
driver told me, seriously, he had known mules so broken down 
they could no longer pull advantageously, restored in this way 
to their original vigour during the trip. 

Reached Austin, forty miles from King's, before sundown. 
There was one daily disappointment to me about Texas miles, 
which was exceedingly agreeable. They were represented to 
be long; I invariably found them short. I arrived every- 
where "sooner than I anticipated. Imagine the pleasantness 
of saying, ^'one more hour to stiffen in this hard saddle, to 
shiver in this cold breeze, to endure the excruciating agony 
of this everlasting pace;" and in half the time finding your- 
self snugly ensconced in a warm room, comfortably seated 
before a blazing, big-log fire. 

Having business with sundry legislators, went up to the 
capitol after tea to see them. 

A democratic meeting, preliminary to "the state conven- 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 103 

tion'' for nominating candidates, had been appointed for that 
evening. Regarding the meeting as private, I designed retiring 
before its organization; but my new acquaintances invited me 
to stay, although I told them I was ^^an old-line Whig." 

The meeting was very orderly, and the speeches were short, 
spicy, and well calculated to rouse up the energies of that 
spoils-seeking, political Jesuit, called by its friends "Demo- 
cracy," and by its enemies " Locofocoism." 

The speakers treated Whiggery, as they do Clay since his 
death, with great respect :-they traced its origin to Federal- 
ism, but spoke affectionately and somewhat eloquently of its 
honesty, its candour, its courage. " Know-Nothingism," said 
they, is Whiggery in disguise, with all of its errors and none 
of its heroism. 

Their speeches, especially those of Judge Mills and W. R. 
Scurry, "done pretty well," as I afterwards remarked, con' 
sidering that no one was allowed to answer them. I said the 
meeting was very orderly. It was so with one exception. A 
drinking.fellow named Pierson, arose, and delivered the follow- 
ing speech : — 

"Mr. Chairman ! I wish my name recorded as the delegate 
from Grimes, the G-d damnedest Know-Nothing county in 
Texas. I am here as the representative of the ffteen Demo- 
crats who live in it." 

Returned to the hotel after hearing three or four speeches, 
and slept in a cold room occupied by seven men besides 
myself. 

January 16. Saw several Tennessee acquaintances, paid 
taxes on my land, transacted Smith & Co/s business, and rode 



104 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; ^H 

in the afternoon to Boston's, another Teunesseean. There the | 
clipping young ladies, Jim, and Woods entertained me with 
« fa sol la," in the sitting-room, a negro played the fiddle in an 
outhouse, and a Jack brayed in the staT)le. 

January 17. Travelled through Lockhart to Pramelea, 
thirty-two or three miles. Arranged my business with H. M. 
& Co., and was ready for writing to you at night and an early 
.tart on the morrow. I drew out ink, pen, and paper, but 
McCord, the hotel-keeper, was a Tennesseean, so was his wife, 
and so was "Pony's" brother; and Mc and he talked pen, 
ink, and paper back into saddle-bags. Having petitioned for 
early breakfast, I felt glad that they were sufficiently con- 
Biderate to retire by bedtime. 

January 18. Started for Seguin, eighteen miles distant 
A gentle rain soon began. I drew on India rubbers and 
hoisted umbrella. Arrived at Seguin by noon. 

After dinner mounted the faithful Spot again and journeyed 
on In the morning I travelled mostly through timber, and 
the breeze blew gently behind me. In the afternoon the wind 
whistling across the prairie, rushed furiously into my face 
Its force was so great as to break my umbrella, and much of 
the remaining way the rain poured upon my unprotected hat. 
"Mr Duncan keeps entertainment in a log-house on the 
ri.ht hand side of the road." Guided by these directions, I 
rode up to his plain-looking cabin about sunset, expecting 
nothing extra. I was however cheered by something more 
than a blazing fire when I entered the plain parlour, which 
had that indescribable air of gentility that you can, without 
seeing, almost feel; and saw the mother, a pleasant young- 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 105 

looking lady, and her handsome married daughter, and her 
three small daughters of the ages and sizes o/our three, the 
second being something like Anna, the youngest decidedly 
resembling Nellie. Mr. Duncan was absent, but the son-in- 
law seemed worthy of his wife and her family. 

I had a long beard, my face was burnt almost black by the 
wind, and my clothes were not the cleanest. ^^The thought 
struck me'' that these folks must be very discriminating'' if 
they can detect the gentleman in me. My usual nonchalance- 
did not, however, desert me. The supper, the parlour, and 
the books on the parlour-table indicated civilization. I spoke 
of the warm batter-cakes, the fresh butter, and the sweet milk 
as old acquaintances, met unexpectedly and joyfully in a 
strange land. They took " The National Intelligencer," and 
I talked of Whiggery. They were from old Virginia. So was 
I. They were fond of music, I descanted on the angel-tones 
of Jenny Lind. They were fond of books, I discoursed of 
literature and art. By bedtime we were all friends, and to 
tell you the truth, I fell almost as deeply in love with Mrs. 
Kirke, (how could I help it ? she talked so pleasantly and sung 
" The Mason's Daughter" so sweetly for me,) as 1 did with the 
captain's wife. You may know I was pretty far gone, for I 
shaved that night. 

January 19. Cold, wind blowing, and still raining. I had 
told Kirke last evening that I desired to sell my horse, saddle, 
and bridle; that I gave sixty-eight dollars for them and would 
take sixty; that I had been trying to sell for a day or two, and 
felt pretty certain I would have to give them away or sell 
them for a trifle if I took them to the coast. He had two 



106 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN J 



« 



lower-priced ponies lie wished to sell in order to buy one 
suit him. He was willing to trade these for mine, but did 
not have the money to buy. 

To-day I said to him: "You want my horse. I cannot 
swap, because my object is to get rid of a horse. Now I am 
determined to sell him to you. I'd rather give him to you 
than to a horse-jockey. If you haven't the cash, I'll sell him 
to you on a credit.'^ He was desperately opposed to the 
credit system, and refused to accept my offer; but finally told 
me he had a note on a man in Tennessee for S85, several years 
old, bearing interest from date, which he would give me for 
Spot. After inquiring about the drawer till I was pretty well 
satisfied it would be paid, I agreed to take it. He found, 
however, upon examination, that the original amount was only 
$65. I then told him: "As we are making ^a better for 
worse trade,' you must pay my tavern bill and stage fare to 
Lavaca, amount $12.50, so that I would at least get that much 

certain J' 

Mrs. Kirke then said : " You need not be uneasy; I know 
my husband would never rest until he had paid the note, whe- 
ther he endorses it or not, should the drawer fail to do so." 
You don't blame me now, do you, for loving \i^ just as much 
as I did the captain's wife. I didn't take her right up and 
run off with her for three reasons : 1st. She had a fiit, laugh- 
ing baby, of six months old; 2d. The weather was inclement; 
3d. Her husband said, "She is right; I couldn't take your 
property for nothing, no matter what our bargain was. I'll 
endorse the note; and if Lanier don't pay it, I will." 

(^ Then, sir," said I, " I won't have the twelve dollars and 



OR, HEART WHIsrERS. 107 

a half; I would have taken sixty from a horse-jockey, and 
don't intend to let you pay me ninety odd dollars/' " Well," 
he asked, ^' what are you going to do with your saddle, bridle, 
and blanket V " Why," said I, " they are yours : I included 
them in the trade." He wouldn't allow me to pay my bill, 
and I presented him with a copy of Hiawatha. The old lady 
tried to have an early dinner, but the stage came before noon, 
and, after affectionate adieus, I was alone in the coach, nursing 
sweet reflections. You see, I knew it wouldn't do to go homo 
if I let any one beat me at the game of gentleman; and that 
Smith & Co. were the last people who would wish me to take 
advantage of an honest and confiding yeoman. 

The country from Belton to Victoria is very similar to that 
previously travelled over — rich, undulating prairies, inter- 
spersed with poor, sandy, post-oak lands, and more rarely with 
small live-oak and cedar forests. 

From Victoria to Powder Horn, extends a level, treeless, 
*^hog wallow" — a classic name applied to the black, tarry 
prairies. The capitol, at Austin, is the only really fine build- 
ing in the state. Austin itself is said to contain three thousand 
inhabitants. It does not appear to be larger than Somerville. 
There, after looking in vain for " The Eagle and Enquirer," 
in order to see what the chivalric and polished Pryor was say- 
ing of the things and the folks about Memphis, I found " The 
Bulletin." It was something like a letter from home. I 
enclose, for the purpose of preserving it, McMahon's editorial, 
headed " Christmas Day." Is there a more appropriately 
beautiful piece of prose writing in the English language ? Its 
theology may or may not be orthodox; but it breathes the 



i08 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAxMILY CURTAIN; 

spirit of enlarged philanthropy. In it Mc's big head and 
kind heart both speak. I read, or had it read aloud, at no 
less than three firesides in this lovely wilderness. All admired 
its originality and beauty. I told them how curiously and 
naturally profane the kind-hearted, headstrong, sincere old 
discourser was, but hinted at the command, ^^ judge not, that 
ye be not judged ;" and none suggested a doubt of his honesty. 

The epistolary mode of journalizing is, to me, a pleasant 
task. It occupies my idle moments, and does not divert my 
thoughts from you and home. Tedious as its perusal may 
have been to you, and would have been to any one, but a dear 
friend, or an aflfectionate wife, the leisure afforded by this 
unexpected delay has led to the completion of this incomplete 
little history of my Texas tour. 

Though " the norther" of twenty days is whistling without, 
and I am writing in a fireless room, with gloves and cloak and 
blanket on, and my fingers are slightly aching, I must add a 
closing paragraph in order to refer again to the politeness, the 
respect, the sociability, the kindness, the friendliness, the cor- 
diality, and the unaffected, natural, easy, hearty hospitality 
which I have everywhere received — in the stage, on the road, 
in the village, and at the homestead — from all classes, in this 
wild country. I have been always, everywhere, accustomed to 
such good treatment, that I cannot exactly tell why I appre- 
ciate Texas hospitality so highly. Had I calculated on the 
reverse, it would be easily explained. But having grown up 
in West Tennessee, and passed with it through all its transi- 
tions, from the Indian and deer, or savage state, up to civili- 
zation and Christianity, I understood the social condition of 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 109 

Texas almost as well at the commencement as I do at the end 
of m}' journey. 

The people generally are deficient in energy and enterprise. 
Fashion does not require them to make a show. They live 
plainly and within themselves. Their property consists mainly 
of stock and land. Though owners of large herds of cattle, a 
majority do not have milk or butter on the table. Their 
wants are few, I assure you. Consequently they do not need 
much money, and have but little. It may have been the sur- 
face-motion of that independence of spirit, freedom from 
anxiety, absence from petty selfishness, and careless generosity, 
which the causes specified are so well calculated to engender, 
that distinguish this people from those who make a lifetime 
struggle for a genteel living in populous fashionable communi- 
ties, and aroused peculiarly amiable emotions in my bosom. 

At any rate I bid adieu to Texas with kind feelings, and 
the sincere prayer that " the Lone Star" of yore may ever 
shine brightly in the brilliant constellation to which she was 
attracted by the sweet influences of filial afiection. 

January 26. — Cassimir House, Powder Horn, Texas. 
The " Steamer'' sits like a duck on the water. In a few 
hours the steam will be up, her sails unfurled, and I moving 
not home but Jwmewards. Even this is cheering. 
Yours and the little ones', 

William Atson. 
10 



110 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 



LETTER XV. 

The Gulf again.— New Orleans. — The Mississippi. — Natchez. — Vicksburg. 
Memphis. 

Memphis, October 21, 1856. 

Jonathan Public, Esq., 

Dear Sir : — After a ride of a few hundred yards over the 
wind-stirred waters of the bay, the passengers bound for Gal- 
veston or New Orleans found themselves assembled on the 
moving steamer. Between the Island and the Crescent City 
I saw on the boat but one sight worthy of notice, and recol- 
lect but one incident worthy of recording. 

The sight was an elegant-looking, whispering, jabbering, 
painted thing called " a fast woman." A few whiskered, 
greasy-haired, finely-dressed, perfumed Hyacinths were buzz- 
ing around and drinking in her honeyed words. The passengers 
watched and discussed the fair criminal. Was she guilty? 
I know not. But one thing I do know — it is, that no woman 
who has acquired the cognomen "Fast" will ever become a 
Caesar's or a gentleman's wife. 

The incident was as follows. Four gentlemen, who had 
been travelling not together, but at the same time, and under 
similar and equally advantageous circumstances, through 
Texas, met in the cabin, and " fell into a conversation" about 



Ill 

their tour. Two talked of the bright, and two of the dark 
hours only. Two had been treated better than they antici- 
pated. Two had fared too badly for human endurance. Two 
required nothing but respect, and were grateful for small kind- 
nesses. Two exacted more than they deserved, or would ren- 
der to others ; regarded small favours as their due, and exag- 
gerated little inconveniences. Two were grumblers; and 
therefore miserable. Two were modest and grateful ; and 
therefore loving and happy. 

On the third evening, as the quiet stars began to spangle 
*nhe blue ethereal sky," the sea-sickening motions of the 
vessel ceased. She had walked into the smooth waters of the 
Mississippi. The next morning we awaked, ^Mooked out," 
and saw, by the break of day, the level landscape where 

" Encircled in his winding course the Crescent City lay." 

This, with the exception of St. Louis, is the greatest of 
Southern cities, and, but for being the summer residence of 
the Yellow Fiend, that ^' walketh in darkness, and wasteth at 
noonday," would rival the metropolis of the North. Even as 
it is, all nations meet therein, and its more intelligent inhabit- 
ants seem to combine, in admirable proportions, the energetic 
shrewdness of the Yankee, and the chivalric generosity of the 
Southerner, with the polished suavity of the Frenchman. In 
the evening, seated on the deck of a moving hotel as it glided 
up the muddy current, 

** 'Twas fair to view the city spires as towering in their pride 
Their lengthening shades lay mirrored on the river's silver side ; 
Where gallant barks were riding, and its bosom whitening o'er 
With snowy wings, which commerce wafts to many a distant shore." 



112 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

^Twas no less fair as it puffed along to view " the coast/' on 
either hand, with the stately mansions of the toiling, pleasure- 
seeking, Mammon-serving masters, the white cabins of the 
hard-working but happy slaves, the cleared fields around, the 
orange orchards in front, and the magnolia forests in the rear, 
both verdant, though waving in the bleak breezes of a cold 
January. 

" Natchez under the Hill'' I have seen by starlight. Natchez 
on the Hill and its environs, famous as the luxurious residence 
of an elegant aristocracy, and as the place where the eloquent 
Prentiss taught in poverty a private school, and afterwards 
wooed and won his bonny bride, it has been my misfortune 
always to pass at night. 

Vicksburg, the largest town of Mississippi, is a well built 
city reposing on the side of a mighty hill. It presents a beau- 
tiful appearance to the passing spectator, but must be incon- 
venient to the bipeds and quadrupeds who daily ^^ pull up" the 
acclivity, and *' hold back'' down the descent. Notwithstand- 
ing the momentary wrath excited by the thoughtless impolite- 
ness of the five physic-givers, I cannot think the hearts of its 
inhabitants have grown cold in such a ^' sunny southern" 
clime. At least Mrs. Atson says they have not; and. I know 
better than to contradict her. 

The northern ice had floated below Natchez. The higher 
we ascended the more roughly the floating masses jarred, with 
their collision, the struggling steamer. 

At the Bluff City the ice extended unbrokenly from shore 
to shore. The boat, however, forced her way to the wharf 



II 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 113 

but could not have advanced farther without great difficulty 
and danger. 

Bidding adieu to many pleasant acquaintances, I ascended 
the Bluff, and found the chilled pedestrians shivering in the 
frigid atmosphere, and the city, which Sun and Frost-king 
usually touch so temperately, wrapped in a mantle of snow. 

Thirty years ago, or thereabouts, a little boy, by command 
of a father, who endeavoured to guard against rearing a 
cowardly or lazy son, by making him, under colour of business, 
practise his energy and courage, was seated on a little black 
pony, and a big pair of saddle-bags, riding westwardly, alonCj 
through the unfelled forests of West Tennessee, listening to 
the loving birds as they chirped and fluttered in the untrimmed 
shrubbery, watching the dark glossy green of the turkeys 
perched in the tree-tops, or flying from anticipated danger, 
startling by his shouts the active squirrel, the more timid hare, 
the graceful wild deer j and ever and anon meeting the mocca- 
sined Aborigines. 

Thus journeyed on, in the days of Auld Lang Syne, the 
little rider on the little pony and the big saddle-bags, till, 
stared at by the idlers at the corners, he passed along the 
streets of a little village on " the Chickasaw Bluffs." That 
boy was ourself. That village is now the city of Memphis. 
Around it our interests, aspirations, and affections cluster, and 
of it we will let Doctor Wm. A. Booth speak. 

In his address before ^^ The Library Association," delivered 
in 1853, he says : — 

"Again: the position of Memphis is peculiarly eligible. 
According to Lieut. Maury and Col. Garnett, it is such that 
10* 



114 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

she will necessarily be the centre of the mighty network of 
railroads destined to ramify throughout the Union. 

" Whether that be true or not, it is true that Memphis is 
in the heart of the Mississippi Valley, occupies the highest 
point of uninterrupted navigation on this mighty river, and is 
below the mouths of his principal tributaries. 

^^ It is also (rue that Memphis can import and export 
directly^ and therefore is not necessarily dependent on New 
Orleans. 

" It now costs us almost as much to get an article from the 
ship, after it has landed at Orleans, to the steamboat lying at 
the same wharf, as it does from New York to New Orleans. 

" The amount thus paid on the merchandise that comes to 
and passes through Memphis, cannot, I suppose, be less than a 
half million of dollars. 

" Let us look at the map, and view Memphis in her relations 
to the rivers of this continent, and the whole system of rail- 
roads, completed and projected. See how the numerous rail- 
roads of New England converge into the Erie road, and the 
^ Erie and other roads of New York, and the Pennsylvania, and 
Ohio, and Maryland, and Virginia, and Kentucky roads, how 
they all converge into the Bowling Green and Memphis road. 

" Having arrived here, see how the divergence begins again. 
There goes the Orleans road, the Mobile road, the Charleston 
road. There, just across the river, starts the steam-horse to 
the Pacific, waking, as he moves onward through the West, 
with his tramp and his neigh, the life and the power that has 
slept for six thousand years, in its fertile bosom and its stately 
forests. And there, last but not least, swollen by his upper 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 115 

tributaries, sometimes frozen, or too low above, but never at or 
below this point, the " Father of Waters" rolls onward through 
the Gulf, to mingle in friendship with the mightier Amazon — 
^ the great king of rivers." 

These are merely some of the Doctor's positions unconnect- 
edlj given. For their demonstration, I refer the inquisitive 
capitalist to the Address. When it was delivered, but one 
railroad, ^^The Memphis and Charleston," had been begun, 
and our city only shipped about 180,000 bales of cotton. Now, 
contractors are at work on the road "just across the river;" 
and the cars are running on three railways this side. Though 
neither of these roads as yet reaches into any section of the 
country, of which Memphis is not necessarily the market, she 
shipped, last season, 300,000 bales. In the next two years 
she will invade new regions with her iron arms, and take pos- 
session of their produce. 

Thus much I have thought proper, dear Jonathan, to say 
of the lower portion of the Mississippi Valley, for the instruc- 
tion of the untravelled members of your family. 

Partly to please those of them who love good poetry, and 
partly in commemoration of a deceased young friend of the 
sunny South, I will transcribe below a poem on that mighty 
stream, which courses through Columbia's heart, 

" Like some great shining thought, Omnipotence 
Has wakened in its depths." 

It has never been published in any book, and many may 
think it equal to "The Great River," by Tennessee's peerless 
poetess. Hoping you will excuse the nonchalance and care- 



116 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

lessness with which I address so distinguished and potent a 
person as yourself, I remain, 

Yours respectfully, 

William Atson. 



THE MISSISSIPPI. 

BY G. W. PIERCE. 

A march, a solemn march and grand, 

For the monarch of the streams. 
As he glides along with his -waters strong. 

In the light of the morning beams ; 
From the frozen North, he sallies forth. 

From his source in a silver spring ; 
And marches away in proud array. 

Like some great conquering king. 

The streams at the sound of his mustering drum, 

Their tribute currents join, 
And with all their force in a winding course, 

March onward to the line. 
Missouri comes from his mountain homes, 

And Ohio's thousand rills 
United gleam in a silver stream. 

And rush through the echoing hills. 

Flow on, thou river deep and strong, 

In turbid grandeur flow ; 
For thus of old thy waters rolled, 

A thousand years ago ! 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 117 

When forests spread their mossy head, 

Where the Indian warrior stood, 
And his bosom swelled as his eye beheld 

Thy everlasting flood I 

Along thy banks his nation roamed, 

And the winged arrow flew, 
And thy crimson flood was dyed in blood, 

And cleft with the light canoe ; 
The bounding deer then gathered here, 

And the wolf's long howl was heard, 
And the white plumed crane stalked through the cane. 

With the swan and the forest bird. 

Where are they now ? Across the seas, 

A warlike nation came * 
To people the woods of thy solitudes. 

With the bulwarks of its fame. 
And the deer and swan from thy wilds are gone, 

And thy tribes with their conquering foes 
Lie scattered around, and the shell-built mound 

Declare where their bones repose. 

Roll on, thou god of rivers, roll, 

And thy diapason keep 
For the great, the brave, beneath thy wave 

In his unforgotten sleep. 
A floating bier for that pioneer f 

Who first to thy shores had come — 
Oh ! let him rest on thy cradling breast, 

In the sound of thy mufiled drum ! 

» Spanish. t ^^ Soto, 



118 



Could his form arise from thy bosom, now. 

What changes might it tell, 
Since on that land his toil-worn band 

Keceived his last farewell ! 
Rich fields are seen, and meadows green, 

The stately mansion bright ; 
Cities of pride begem thy side, 

And glad the passing sight. 

The majestic steamboat pug's along, 

Like a thing of life and pride. 
With a mantling crest on thy broad, deep breast. 

And along thy billowy tide. 
By day and by night they wing their flight, 

And waft th' exhaustless stores 
That Commerce brings on her laden wings, 

To our homes from distant shores. 

Go on, go on — mysterious stream — 

With thy deep, eternal tide ! 
On either hand the mountains stand. 

Like giants by thy side ; 
And at thy feet all nations meet. 

Where the Crescent City towers. 
And Commerce pours her golden stores, 

Her wealth — her fame — her powers. 

But where is the eye that may foresee, 

Or where the prophetic soul 
That may speak the praise of thy future days, 

When a thousand years shall roll 
Along thy coast, where Freedom's host. 

With their star-gemmed flag unfurled, 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 119 

In crowded ranks shall press thy banks, 
And rule the Western world ! 

A march, a solemn march and grand, 

For the father of the floods ! 
Let him roll along in pride and song, 

From his ice-bound solitudes, 
In course sublime to the sunny clime, 

O'er the land of the great and free ; 
There let him rest in the azure breast 

Of the deep, unfathomed sea. 



END OP PART FIRST. 



PART II. 



NASHVILLE. GEORGIA. ALABAMA. 
MISSISSIPPI AGAIN. 



11 



LETTER XVL 

Dear Jonathan : — Though approaching spring had turned 
the snow on the land, and the ice in the rivers, into water, the 
cool twilight of winter still lingered, when I took passage on 
the ^^City of Huntsville.'^ She ascended the Mississippi; 
washed the mud from her keel in the clearer waters of the 
Ohio; and then diverged into the classic Cumberland, up and 
down which I used to travel to and from colle<^e. 

At " The City of Rocks'' I wrote to Mrs. Atson, telling her 
how easily " The Huntsville" had paddled up the now swollen 
^^ creek f how she was crowded with passengers ; how I talked 
with the men and the women ; how an old Methodist lady, 
who was rather " on the fast line" on land, was very demure 
and saint-like when above deep water and a boiler — ^^ caze she 
was skeered;'' how a conscientious Presbyterian lady was 
troubled in the spirit because she was travelling on Sunday ; 
and could not be convinced that the prayers and sermons of the 
four preachers on board were works of supererogation sufficient 
to balance the account against them for publicly violating their 
own precepts, and the sanctity of this holy day; and how, in 
the midst of the bustle of the crowded boat, and the familiar 
scenes and faces of the capital, the yearning for the home I 

(123) 



124 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN J 

had left filled my heart, aud the images of home-folks haunted 
my imagination. 

The letter, containing all this and more, was miscarried; 
and may long since have been read and ridiculed by those 
clerks of yours, who don't attend to " the dead letter oflSce." 
Its miscarriage occasions in these whispers a slight hiatus; 
the loss sustained by which you will please charge to the post- 
office department. 

Respectfully, 

William Atson. 



LETTER XVII. 

Murfreesborough City Hotel. — " Fanny Fern." — Mrs. Lee Hentz. — " Sequel 
to Linda." — A sly way of doing good- 

MuRFREESBOROUGH, February 27, 1856. 

Dear Molly : — I mailed a letter to you day before yester- 
day, wrote a note to you yesterday, and left a despatch to be 
transmitted by the wires to-day. I am now at ^' The City Ho- 
tel," seated in a neat, well furnished private room, the counter- 
panes and pillow-cases white as the untrodden snow, the fur- 
niture new and shining, a brisk fire of fresh, nice-looking 
hickory wood, burning cheerfully in the fireplace, and throw- 
ing its radiance through the room, over a hearth well painted 
with Spanish brown. I do not know whether the landlord is 
married or not ; but I would bet a mint that there is a woman 
about. Servants, table, food — all have the same neat look. 

I have finished the business of the day, and written a long 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 125 

letter to Smith & Co. My candle is lit — " Harper" for March 
lies temptingly before me — and yet I am writing to you. 

Don't give me a bit of credit — I can't help it. You are 
not near enough to talk to. I am too far away for the three 
children to climb into my lap, crush my collar, soil my shirt 
bosom, put their feet on my pants, feed on me with their loving 
eyes, and electrify me with their sweet caresses. So, you see, 
as writing to you is the only substitute for these luxuries^ I 
muat resort to it. The old bachelors would call them torments. 
But I pity the middle-aged man who loves not the society of 
his wife, and the caresses of his children. 

With these preliminaries, I will go back to " The City of 
Huntsville." On the 22d, I found, lying in my berth, " Rose 
Clark,'' by " Fanny Fern." It was my room-mate's — I don't 
know his name. As he was reading another book, I began 
this, and finished it in a few hours. Notwithstanding the 
piquancy of the style, and my admiration of them, you recol- 
lect I used to contend, from certain forms of expression rather 
gross for a woman, that a man must be the author of the 
articles over her signature. That a human female composed 
them, I have been compelled, by the proof, to acknowledge. 
But I still deny that a genuine, true-hearted woman, wrote 
them; and I shall adhere to this denial so long as Fanny 
claims the authorship of ^^Rose Clark." There is an am- 
mality about it which would be called coarse in a male author. 
It should be stripped of its bluish binding, ^'kivered 
with yaller," and have indecent printed on its title page. 
^'The moral is good," some will say. So is the apparent 
moral of almost every vulgar novel. That is an extremely 
11* 



126 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

sensible moral philosophy, and a very lovahle philanthropy, 
which paints pictures, and creates images of lust and covet- 
ousness in the heart, and then coolly says, "Don't steal; don't 
commit adultery." 

I confess, if a man had written this book, I should not have 
felt so indignant. But the slightest impropriety on the part 
of a woman, makes me blush for the whole sex. And when 
she comes forward as a teacher, a benefactor of mankind — as 
a woman par excellence, a light, an example to her sex ; and 
then exhibits in act, by word or letter, innate coarseness — a too 
intimate acquaintance with the beastliness of deprayed natures 
— the blush changes to a feeling of intense indignation; and I 
am ready to choke the first old bachelor who endorses the libel 
she has thus uttered. 

Ah, "Fanny," you are "too smart;" and yet have not dis- 
cretion enough to conceal your extra smartness. 

The next day I perceived " The Sequel to Linda." I 
should not have read it, but I thought of your persistence in 
packing it up against my request, and concluded you must 
have some peculiar object in wishing me to read it. For this 
reason I did so, and was delighted with it. " Rose Clark," 
I have been forced to admit, much as I disliked even that 
admission, was written by a female hi^ed. " The Sequel" 
was written by a lady. 

Were the pencil-marks yours ? Why did you specially de- 
sire me to read it ? I could not answer this question more 
satisfactorily at the end than at the beginning. Sometimes I 
flattered myself that you might have thought I resembled 
somewhat the quick-tempered, but generous, forgiving, and 



OR, HEART WHISPERS, 127 

frank Bellenden. It could not be possible that you likened 
me unto tlie noble and quiet Captain Lee. Perhaps you 
thought I resembled the fiery-souled Robert, and wished to 
lead me to piety and the ministry. 

How is this ? I strive to be pious. My soul runs out after 
truth and God. I think I derive great happiness from my 
gratitude for His blessings, and my faith in His goodness. I 
think I do nothing wrong deliberately , and I try to look into 
my heart and scrutinize my acts. I aim to make amends for 
every discovered error, whether intended or unintentional; 
whether committed by word or deed, to white or black. I 
believe i treat you worse than I do anybody else, and you are 
not only willing to forgive me (are you not?), but think 1 
am extfa clever in addition, do you not. Well, you did 
not create me, and are, consequently, not under the same obli- 
gations to be forgiving and kind to me as my creator. And 
you are not better, are you, than the good God ? This being 
the case, is it foolish or presumptuous in me, admitting what 
I say to be true, that I am honestly trying to do as nearly 
right as I can, with the lights before me, to believe that this 
good God will ultimately show me, if blundering, the error 
of my way, and lead me out of the wrong into the right 
track. 

I think I have said before I would join some branch of the 
church, if for no other reason, on account of the children, 
could I do so honestly. 

So far as the ministry is concerned, if there was no other 
world but this, I would join it "right off." I can conceive 
of nothing that would suit my tastes and talents better, if my 



1^28 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

faith and my conscience allowed me to enter upon its solemn 
duties. In it there is a delightful admixture of solitude and 
society, of the practical, the moral, the metaphysical, and the 
poetic. Just think of it. Six days to study, visit, converse, 
reflect. The seventh day to have a crowd, a listening, intelli- 
gent, respectful multitude to tell those reflections to. Why, it 
would be equal to the luxury of writing to one's wife when 
home is far away. 

Do not regret now that you packed up the book for a special 
reason. The mere suspicion that you did so was a pleasure to 
me. It caused me to read it with more attention and interest, 
and to think about it more afterwards. I generally admire 
boldness, but this delicate, this sly way of trying to do me 
good, pleased me much. I was going to say tickled me, but 
that is too light a word, and would not exactly convey the 
truth. I wrote you to direct your first letter, if mailed next 
Saturday, to Dalton, Georgia; the next, a week after, to 
Montgomery, Alabama ; the third to Mobile. 

Kiss Alice, and tell her to kiss Anna and Nellie for me. 

Your husband, 

William Atson. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 129 



LETTER XVin. 

A talk with a D. D.— The infernal machine.— A father, and a Creator.— 
The difference. — Is my theology wrong ?— " Mammy." 

Knoxville, "Coleman House," March 2, 1856. 

Dear Molly : — In my last I was commenting upon the 
diflference between Mrs. " Fanny Fern/^ and Mrs. Lee Hentz, 
judged by their writings. To-day I read an announcement of 
the death of the latter. I regret that the hand of so pure a 
writer has been palsied by the grim-looJcing monster. A few 
months ago, she and our friend Mrs. G. were corresponding. 
By this time, perhaps, their congenial spirits have become 
personally acquainted in the spirit-land. 

This must be a terrible world to those capable of love and 
friendship, who regard affliction not as paternal chastisement, 
but as God's vengeance; and Death as the enemy of man. 
In this connection I may state the substance of a conversa- 
tion, on " The City of Huntsville," between myself and a 
learned minister of the gospel. 

I told the doctor some of my heresies, not for the purpose 
of arguing, but to see if I could not learn something from him 
that would do me good. I sat at his feet, as the young Paul 
sat at the feet of Gamaliel, to be taught. After stating my 
case I listened, and with hope ; for he proved to be a man of 



130 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

thouglit; and presented new arguments in a new way. Finally, 
lioweverj lie fell into the old song, about the sovereignty of 
God ; and the mechanism of his principles, which must move 
and roll, and roll and move eternally — crushing up everything 
and every being that is, intentionally or unintentionally, in its 
way ; whether that being has eyes to see, or active limbs to 
move him from its orbit, or is blind, and lame, and halt. 
AVhenever a man believes or teaches that the good God 
creates sensitive beings, and then works this infernal machine 
in the darkness where they reside, he has lost his influence 
with me. When I reflect, too, upon the coolness and self- 
conceit with which such an one calculates upon his escape 
and my ruin, I have to call to my aid that charity which 
** hopeth all things," before I can conclude that he is not a 
miniature of the selfish and cruel Creator he professes to love 
and worship. When the Rev. Dr. reached the objectionable 
point I forgot my pupilage, and announced my creed so 
forcibly, that I really believe it scared him. 

" I have children," said I; ^^ I did not create them. I was 
merely an instrument used in their creation. Could I be in- 
duced to punish them, except for their own good ? Would I 
be so mean, as coolly and deliberately to invent, and put into 
operation machinery, that they might not see, or seeing cUmty 
might not be able to move out of its way, which machinery in 
case of failure, either of the endowment of sight, or of the ability 
to evade it, would crush up and torture, not simply their phy- 
sical but their moral natures, not for time only but throughout 
eternity ? You readily assent to the doctrines indicated by 
these questions. You acknowledge my obligation to my child- 



OR, HEART WHISPERS, 131 

ren, based simply upon my instnimentaUti/ in their creation. 
Is not He who created under infinite and unescapable obliga- 
tion to take care of his creatures, to punish them only for 
their good ; to endow them with the power, and to show them 
clearly and unmistakably the way to escape ; and to make 
them realize the importance of escaping, before permitting 
them to be crushed into eternal misery by the action either 
of infernal or supernal principles ? Say no more to me, sir, 
on this subject. I can never worship your God. He is not 
as good as I am. The God I worship is better. He is 
supremely wise and good. He is my Father; I am his child. 
He is bound ^ to stand up to,' to take care of, to endorse for 
me so long as I try to do right." 

After pouring out a flood of divinity, such as the above, I 
and the Rev. Dr. parted. We parted kindly, but it seemed 
to me that his face was pale. 

This happened on Sunday afternoon. In the morning I 
had heard Mr. Folsom, a half-breed Indian and Vice President 
of the Choctaw nation, preach. His text was : " Of a truth, 
I perceive that God is no respecter of persons. But in every 
nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is 
accepted of Him." 

At night, the Rev. Mr. Rozell gave us Wesley's definition 
of sin, which I imbibed from the teachings of my pious father. 
It is as follows : " Sin is the voluntary transgression of a 
known law." Prove this definition to be incorrect, and man 
is upon a dark river, drifting seawards ; but whether towards 
the sea of error, or of truth, he cannot know. For, no matter 
upon what stream he may be floating, he will hear upon the 



132 A PEEP 

banks thousands as intelligent and honest as himself, shouting 
that this river empties into the Dead Sea, and that another, 
just over yonder, rolls into the haven of eternal life. 

Admit it to be true, and every practical moral problem is 
solved. Superstition and priestcraft recoil as though stabbed 
in the heart ; and man shakes off their tyranny, and stands 
disenthralled and freed from everything but his individual 
responsibility to God, his neighbour, and himself. In this 
condition he can only become unhappy by doing wilful and 
deliberate wrong. A man cannot be miserable, it is a moral 
impossibility, who in addition to the foregoing faith believes 
that God is good, and that he himself is honestly and earnestly 
struggling to do his duty, and voluntarily transgresses no 
known law. Is there anything opposed to Christianity in 
these views of mine ? Would they make man worse, if uni- 
versally adopted and acted upon ? Would they not dry the 
tears of many a timid, self-accusing, humble mourner ? Would 
they not soften the stony heart of many a self-conceited, un- 
charitable Pharisee, that thinks he is the favourite child of our 
Father, who intends by the power of some principle in the 
machinery adapted to the purpose, to lift him out of harm^s 
way, and let the rest of us go to the devil ? I love the meek, 
and lowly, and self-sacrificing Jesus for turning over the tables 
of the money-changers in the temple. I love him for denounc- 
ing hypocrites, as ^' whited sepulchres, full of rottenness and 
dead men's bones." I love him for the mighty prayer he has 
taught us to pray. I love him for teaching us that the sum 
and substance of the Ten Commandments, is ^'to love the Lord 
thy God with all thy heart, and thy neighbour as thyself." 



OR; UEART WHISPERS. 133 

My heart swells with the increase of love as I hear him 
say : " Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, 
and I will give you rest." 

But the doctrine I maintain is confirmed ; and this love 
attains almost the climax of adoration, when dying upon the 
cross he casts a parting, pitying look upon his crucifiers, and 
exclaims : " Father ! forgive them, they know not what they 
do." 

I love the firm, and the feeling. I love the denouncer of 
rascally Power, and the supporter of the feeble and the igno- 
rant. Tell me, thou woman of instinct, of intuition, is there 
anything very wrong in all this ? You know I have no in- 
stinct, no intuition — that I have to plod my weary way by 
reason's feeble ray. A word of yours has convinced me that I 
was a fool many a time. Have you any little word with which 
to undermine my fabric of theology? If so, speak it out ; I wish 
to be right. The love of the children would expel all foolish 
pride. My nerves never tremble for myself. But the fear 
of leading AKce, our first-born, who has been growing into our 
hearts for nearly ten years ; the sweet, pretty, afi'ectionate 
Anna ; and that electrical heauty, the little Miss Nellie, into 
moral error, makes me decidedly timid about openly dissenting 
from any orthodox opinion. You, however, teach them (do you 
not ?) that their Heavenly is better than their earthly father ; 
that they can trust the former implicitly and for ever, so long 
as they try to do right ; that the latter can, the other cannot 
be deceived ; that one has only the will, whilst the other 
possesses both the will and the power to serve them. If so, 
we cannot difi"er materially. " Enough !'' ^' enough !" of divi- 
12 



184 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

nity, metHinks I hear 5'bu say, although it is Sabbath even- 
ing, ^^ Let's take a walk." 

Oh ! that I was there to accept the invitation ; to talk, and 
be talked to by home-folks. We'd walk in the orchard, 
and look for the buds that prophesy of fruit. We'd look 
at the horses and the cattle, and say a passing word to the 
negroes. We'd walk to the graves of the patient, afflicted 
Maria, and " Mammy," the good old octogenarian, who held 
my mother in her arms when a babe, and nursed her children, 
sister Mary's, and mine. Her amiable countenance is mixed 
up with every period of my life — it is graven on my heart ; it 
formed a part of that sweet company that travelled with me 
through the prairies of Texas. I shall always see it. Pa and 
Ma were the only persons I recollect ever to have heard 
call her Dilsy. Every one else, old and young, called her 
*^ Mammy." Who that did not know her when too young to 
be so called, could help it ? So amiable, so polite, so humble, 
so meek, and so venerable-looking, who could resist loving 
and respecting her as a mother, black though she was ? So 
affectionate, so kind to children, and yet so particular and 
modest and firm with them, she was the queen of nurses. 

Nellie, the last of three generations she held in her arms, 
cannot recollect her. Will Anna remember her old, familiar 
face ? Certainly, Alice will not forget it ? 

I have written enough for one sitting ; and will close this 
Sunday epistle by " how-d'ye" to the servants, and a kiss to 
the little ones and my ^^better-half." 

Yours affectionately, 

William At son. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 135 

After a trip at the rate of about five miles an hour, we 
arrived at Nashville after midnight, Sunday the 24th. 

Monday morning I walked up to the City Hotel to break- 
fast. Here I met with our representatives, Holmes and 
Bartlett ; also Dortch, of Fayette, and General Sneed, the 
Attorney-General of the state — four honourable men, although 
they do hold office, and work for the public. 

"Was I not tempted to repine Tuesday morning, when 
shaking the hands of acquaintances who had left Memphis 
on " The Cline'' the third day after my departure ? I flatter 
myself you would have grumbled considerably. Talking about 
flattering myself, reminds me of '' The Wife's Valentine," 
by Mrs. French, which I enclose. Marrying, or maternity, 
seems to have made a woman of her. Is it not sweetly 
beautiful ? I think so ; and I had the vanity also to think 
there was a lady, not at Forest Home, but at Bothwell, who 
was entertaining similar feelings, and following with similar 
thoughts and prayers her wandering husband. 

You can't imagine how it would please me to know 

" The thousand fears 
That chill your secret soul ; 
and to see 

" The tears 
That mock your weak control." 

French must be perfectly delighted. But I am afraid you 
women are too vain. Listen ! 

"Ah, yes ! I know where'er thou art, 
Thou'rt thinking still of me." 



13G A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

Again : 

" For whereso'er 
Thy weary footsteps roam, 
Thou'lt find no love thy life to cheer 
Like hers, who waits at home." 

Is this faith, or vanity ? You will all say, faith, as a matter of 
course ; and so would Mrs. John Smith. Well, you will admit 
(won't you ?) that Smith is as trustworthy as either French 
or myself. Now, what do you suppose occurred ? I'll tell 
you, and I want you to tell Mrs. Smith and give me as autho- 
rity. I stumbled upon her beloved the other day in Chatta- 
nooga, and found that he was travelling about with a 

lady. 

To he serious J I will remark that you and Mrs. S. ought to 
love us mightily, and thank your stars for catching such para- 
gons. Just suppose we had not seen your forlorn condition, 
and concluded to marry you, you might be still groaning in 
old maidenhood. 

To he solemn, 1 will say, if the sighs, the tears, and the 
love are not all poetry, and your trust is based not on vanity, 
but on faith as I know it is, whenever my absence makes the 
bosom heave, the tears start, and the love grow apprehensive, 

try to think 

" Of holy things 

Of that pure, promised Heaven, 
Where God shall give us angels' wings, 

Where all our sins forgiven, 
And free from stains of earthly dust. 

In that eternal dome 
Both thou, and they, and I, I trust 

Shall find a heavenly home." 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 137 

The foregoing letter has been written several days, but I 
wouldn't mail it — it was too soon. I couldn't, however, keep 
from writing to you ; so I added this postscript. Do not be 
disappointed should you not get another letter for some ten 
or fifteen days after the reception of this, as my writing will 
depend on whether I stop sufficiently long at any one place. 
The fewer letters you receive, the sooner you may expect me 
home. Do not, however, look for me till I instruct you to do 
so. Kiss the children for me. 

Yours affectionately, 

William Atson. 

I close this March 5th, at Dalton, Geo., where I hoped to 
receive a letter from you, but did not. 



LETTER XIX. 

Remedy for home-sickness.— The Author's helm.— His way of being happy. 
— A favourite pastor — who drinks. 

Atlanta, March 6. 
Dear Molly : — Here I am ; and who do you suppose is 
my room-mate for the night ? No other than your old Jack- 
son pastor, the Rev. Samuel Quentin. He is the same mild, 
amiable, affectionate man. The object of his trip is, to raise 
money for a benevolent enterprise. He expects to travel 
through Virginia, and as far north as New York. I should 
think he would be a poor hand at such a business. 
12* 



138 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

His questions about Alice seemed to come out of his soul. 
This, as a matter of course, touched her father's heart. His 
ward married Jenkins. Is not that a singular denouement ? 
She knew, as her guardian doubtless told her, of J.'s secret 
weakness, of which he himself was the discoverer. 

Abner Jenkins, he informs me, is also married; and doing 
well in St. Louis, where they all reside. 

But why am I writing, having just mailed a letter yester- 
day? 

It is a pure act of selfishness, I tried to write to my good 
friend, true friend, old friend, the Hon. K. T. ; but had that 
singular feeling about the heart, which nothing relieves but 
scribbling to you. So I gave up the job of writing to the 
Congressman, and resorted to my remedy. 

As I feel better now, and am expecting Mr. Quentin, I 
will stop its use for the present — only saying, I have as yet 
received no letter from you and am waiting here solely for 
that purpose, having ordered letters for me to be forwarded 
from Dalton to this place. 

"Will yours come to-morrow ? Will it bring good or bad 
news ? Hope for the best, and be prepared for the worst, is 
the helm with which I steer my little bark. 

March 7. Having finished a letter to T., and Quentin 
being gone, I turn again to my elixir. I am grateful that I 
do not have to stimulate my flagging energies by artificial 
stimuli. When business or society fatigues, books cease to 
charm, and leisure or solitude depresses — I want no tobacco, 
I want no brandy. All I have to do is, to turn my thoughts 
into the deep sabbath of my soul, and there, whatever vision 



139 



may unfold itself, I am certain in the midst to see wife, chil- 
dren, my country, and God. 

As I told Quentin last night, I am uncontrollably happy. 
The slight depressions of which I occasionally speak are 
nothing but the quiet of the sea after a storm of enjoyment; 
this quiet not being disagreeable in itself, and giving an in- 
creased zest to the luxury of the tempest that will soon begin 
again. It seems to me, too, that I hold, as a mere delegate 
doubtless, in my own power the winds that give motion to this 
inner sea. 

Poor Quentin! I am sorry I spent the night with him, 
although we sat up till nearly 2 o'clock, talking of ourselves 
and of the olden times ; and the conversation was very plea- 
sant. He is undoubtedly a good-meaning man; but is an 
Irishman not only by birth, but in his animal propensities. 
You know what an eater he is, and that he was always candid 
in admitting he loved strong drink, although he then refrained 
from resorting to it. During our sojourn together, a cigar 
was scarcely out of his mouth ; and between 8 o'clock and 
going to bed, he took three drinks of brandy. I did not see 
the size of but one of these, and that was a tumbler more than 
one-third full. The bottle containing this he took from his 
trunk ; said a lady presented it to him ; that he only drank in 
this way when travelling ; that he was aware it was injurious 
to his health, and having finished this would get no more. 
Now he could not have been talking to a more charitable, or, 
as some would say, a more credulous man. I believe in his 
sincerity, and in the goodness of his intentions. I believe he 
thinks himself a Christian. His destitution of concealment 



140 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN J 

or hypocrisy, his confessions of error, the confidences he reposed 
in me, all strengthened these convictions, and increased my 
affection for him by weaving in with it a feeling of pity. 

A minister of the gospel, in good health, with a bottle of 
brandy in his trunk ! a Christian dependent on tobacco and 
alcohol for happiness ! ^^ a soldier of the cross" requiring arti- 
ficial stimulants to enable him to fight the battle of life ! 
This minister resorting to these things in the presence of a 
friend, whom he was desirous of leading out of the mists of 
a docile and unobtrusive skepticism into the light and joy, 
beauty and power of his own faith ! Was it not enough to 
excite one's pity ? 

It is true, also, that he could not have exhibited his weak- 
ness to one upon whom it would have less effect. I know that 
neither a leader nor his principles should be judged by the 
conduct of his unfaithful, weak, or cowardly followers. If we 
cannot be satisfied to judge them by their own merits, we must 
not look beyond the true disciples. 

My father was one of these. Though Paul and John, 
Luther and Calvin, Hannah More and Wesley be present, he 
too would occupy a front rank in the company of the con- 
sistently pious. In the light of his example I was reared. 
But for that light I would long since have been involved in 
the mazes of a believed, a confirmed infidelity. Having not 
only read, but seen the doctrines of Christ 'practically illus- 
trated by one with whom I lived for years, and whose words 
and acts I watched with all the prying curiosity of boyhood, 
and have since weighed in the balances of a maturer judg- 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 141 

ment, the doings of " Tom, Dick, or Harry' ^ have little or no 
eflfect upon me. 

My fondness for Quentin — the wreck I see ahead — my ina- 
bility to prevent it — his knowledge of my habits and views — 
his own good sense — his consciousness of his weakness, and the 
danger that threatens him — his inability to resist the tempta- 
tion to walk upon the crater's edge, knowing the volcanic ele- 
ments to be mixing, and moving, and heaving beneath — cause 
me to tremble for his safety, and to regret the discovery of 
his weakness. Let us hope that this man, so intelligent, so 
amiable, so useful at the age of forty-five, may die before he 
degenerates into a mere eating, smoking, drinking animal. 

Wouldn't I make a " splendid'^ historian, if I wrote history 
as I do a journal for my wife? How long would it take me 
to get through the history of the worlds if every fact plunged 
me into a train of almost interminable reflections? In my 
next I'll try to go back, and start at Nashville. That's the 
place ^'I left off'^ at, was it not? 

Kiss the children, and have the corn and potatoes worked for 
Your affectionate husband, 

William Atson. 



142 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 



LETTER XX. 

College anecdotes.— Mrs. P. and Mrs. R. — The reason people treat the 
author kindly. — A practical illustration. — Nashville. — Clodknockers at 
home in the State House. — A ride between Nashville and Chattanooga. 
— Look Out Mountain. 

Forsyth, Geo., March 9. 
Dear Molly : — According to promise, I return to Nash- 
ville. There I spent two days. I was so constantly employed 
I didn't have time to think much of the days of yore. I 
didn't even visit the old college grounds, where I " rubbed my 
back against a college wall/' and whence I went, just before 
graduating, to fight my country's battles on the plains of Ala- 
bama and on the banks of the Withlacoochee. 

Old Doctor Lindsley, when years afterwards I attended, with 
the beloved Mrs. Washington, a party at his house, laughed 
at my original mode of parting with him, and rehearsed the 
solemnity with which, after purchasing horse, saddle, and bri- 
dle, I rode to the same mansion, and told him, " I didn't like 
even the appearance of running or sneaking from anybody 
or anything, and had merely called to tell him I was leaving 
for the war." 

^'Old Phil," as the boys called him, and myself, had met 
in battle array before. Joe Johnson and I had been school- 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 143 

mates when we used to recite Amo, amavi, amatum, amare, to 
Doctor Rogers, a learned Irisli pedagogue. When I arrived 
at college, young, and a stranger, so far from home for the 
first time, he ofi'ered me a part of his room. I accepted ; but 
soon found that our habits were totally diverse. 

Joe was the boy who said he sat up all night playing cards j 
in order that he might be ready for prayers in the morning. 
These he did attend much more regularly than myself, though 
it was simply for the purpose of deceiving the faculty, by 
having no marks for absence from these devotions. So soon 
as I discovered his habits, I told him he could gamble and 
drink as much as he chose ; but that he would have to do 
these things by himself, if he did them in our room, for I 
would allow no one else to join him in perpetrating them 
there. As he never "got drunk/' this relieved me of all 
annoyance, but once. 

It so happened that several of the boys, some of whom 
were " a little jolly,'' collected one evening in our room, and 
were laughing and talking rather boisterously, when Abednego 
Stephens, the professor of languages, on his 9 o'clock tour 
through the college, tapped at our door. At this hour every 
boy should have been in his own room. To keep from being 
seen, some " student," unknown to Joe or myself, hearing the 
approaching footsteps of the professor, had locked the door, 
and slipped the key in his pocket. I tried to open it, but 
could not, and explained the reason to Stephens. He was 
irritated, suspected something wrong, and commenced kicking 
the door. Finding access not so easy in this way, he returned 
to his room to get his key, thinking it might fit this lock. He 



144 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN J 

had shattered the door, so that while he was absent a panel 
was slipped out, and the erring ones fled. 

The next morning the key was found on the stair steps. 
Joe, whose love for prayers had not entirely deceived the faculty, 
was suspended; and I was commanded to have the door 
mended. I sought the Doctor, told him the patching of the 
door would not cost more than fifty cents, and my leaving col- 
lege then would amount to a loss of probably two hundred 
dollars ; but that I would leave before I would have the door 
repaired. "Ah, but," said he, with his sternest air, ''you 
cannot leave thus : you shall be expelled.'' '' Expel, then," 
said I, and turned away. The old fellow called me back, and 
said : " You can go to your studies ; I'll pay for the fixing of 
the door myself." Thus it ended ; though I had everything 
packed ready for starting before seeing him. 

Have I not been fortunate ? At Jackson I boarded with 
Mrs. Polk. She had two sons. Tom was the oldest. Ed and 
myself were about the same age. If she had only two cakes, 
or two apples, I must have one, certain ; and Tom must go 
without. This was the principle upon which she acted. 

At Nashville I boarded with Mrs. Ramsey. She had a 
number of college boys boarding with her. I was the young- 
est, and was called her " pet." 

This disposition to love and befriend the weak and the 
young, of itself J without any additional fact, proves these 
women to have been possessed of good hearts. 

You may be surprised at my dwelling upon such little hind- 
nesses. You may be tempted to say, these ladies only did 
their duty to a child away from home, and under their protec- 



OR; HEART WHISPERS. 145 

tion. Yes; hut who does his duty? And then, out of those 
who do, who does it affectionately? Again : I never stint the 
joy of gratitude by cold reasoning; at least until some de- 
mands are made upon it. 

It always did, and does to this day, " strike me" as some- 
thing new and astonishing, although I have never been accus- 
tomed to anything else, when I find any one peculiarly polite, 
peculiarly friendly to, peculiarly fond of me. I never did 
calculate or presume upon anything of the kind. 

Only a few weeks ago I wrote to a friend of many years, 
requesting him to endorse for me. I did so with as much 
hesitancy and timidity as though he had been an acquaintance 
of yesterday. He replied, when I saw him, by saying he and 
another endorsed for each other, and were under some i^bliga- 
tion to endorse for no one else ; but that he would endorse for 
me if he knew he would have the notes to pay. 

The more power Smith gives me, the more cautious I am 
in using it. As I wrote him, I despise a man who takes an 
ell because he is given an inch. And those who think a 
friend is bound to oblige them twice, because he has done so 
once, are equally as contemptible, and sure to add ingratitude 
to their silliness. 

Thinking thus, never asking, or at least insisting on third 
parties doing anything for me, which I do not believe, after 
making due allowance for self-deception based on partiality 
for self, I would do for them were our circumstances reversed; 
and being as cautious about wounding the feelings of white or 
black, unless duty or wrath excite me, as I am about their 
wounding my own very sensitive nature, combined with my 
18 



146 A PEEP BEHIND TilE FAMILY CURT.UN; 

faith ia man ; and, as a result of tliis faith, the fact that I 
always put the person I am attempting to influence, fairly and 
frankly into the possession of all the information calculated to 
make him realize my position, and his duty, are some of the 
main reasons for my being able to say, with but little exagge- 
ration, as I sometimes do say, jocosely, ^' He will do it for me 
— no one ever refuses what I ask." 

A circumstance, illustrative of this, occurred at Knoxville. 
I had procured all the facts^ preparatory to a settlement of my 
business there, except one. This could not be speedily ob- 
tained, without putting to some trouble an old gentleman, not 
interested in taking this trouble. I was bent on closing the 
matter, and leaving that day ; and said, '' I will get him to 
do it/' The gentlemen with whom I was conversing laughed 
at the idea of anybody's hurrying him. I judged, from what 
they hinted, that he was a cold-blooded, selfish man, who could 
not be moved by any appeal, save one to his pocket. This 
did not deter me. I hunted him up, introduced myself, told 
him what I wanted him to do, and why I wanted him to do it, 
immediately. 

The result gave strength to my faith in the indisposition of 
almost every human being deliberately to commit, without 
strong temptation, an act which they cannot deceive them- ■ 
selves into believing is not ungentlemanly or unkind. Had I 
been told I would meet a generous-hearted Chesterfield, instead 
of a cold-blooded Shylock, I should have had no reason to 
question the correctness of the statement, so readily did he 
comply with my requests. 

But to return to Nashville. I could not, as I walked out 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 147 

to McEwen's and saw the Presbyterian church where I used 
to go occasionally with Mrs, Ramsey, the house in the rear of 
the church where she and I used to reside, the Episcopal 
church to which I sometimes went, the Campbellite church 
in which I heard the oratory of Alexander Campbell in the 
day of his power, and the Methodist church which I attended 
regularly, ^^ help thinking" how happy I was twenty years 
ago. Neither could I '^help feeling" grateful that I was just 
as happy, and a little happier now. 

Nashville, I have frequently told you, was one of the most 
beautiful cities in the Union. I have sometimes, coming up 
to it from the West, and seeing its rocky hills covered with 
the evergreen cedar, and the verdure and foliage of spring, 
thought it the most beautiful. But it did not thus enchant 
me on my last visit. I was either mistaken in the number of 
evergreens, or the unusual cold has blasted them. At any 
rate, scarcely a green thing was visible. 

The Capitol is a plain-looking, plainly furnished, capacious, 
and elegant marble building, situated on Campbell's Hill. It 
overlooks the entire city, and has cost the state $1,100,000. 
I am very much inclined to think a private person could have 
such a building erected for one-half this amount. 

General Sneed says, there were some rough countrymen 
examining its outside, and cautiously peeping in at the doors. 
He asked them to walk in and make themselves at home, 
adding, " It belongs to you, gentlemen." ^^ Bow is that?'' 
said one of them. Sneed replied, " You pay taxes, do you 
not?" ^^ Yaas," was the response. ''Well," continued the 
general, '' this house is built out of those taxes." " Wa'all 



148 A PEEr BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

railly/' said they, "we never thought of dat afore;" and stuf- 
fing their hands deep into their pockets, they strutted in large 
as life, and made themselves at liome. 

From Nashville I travelled to Murfreesboro', spent a night 
there, and then started for Chattanooga. The country between 
these towns is quite picturesque; being hilly at first, and 
becoming mountainous as you approach the latter. It would, 
however, scarcely have elicited the admiration of my travelled 
eye, as it has not yet recovered from the touch of the Frost- 
King, had it not been for thoughts of you, of your fondness 
for the beauties of Nature ; and my regret at my inability to 
feast you, for a time, on the shifting scenes through which I 
have to pass, and the varying scenery at which I am forced to 
look. As you cannot take a real ride, come, and take an 
imaginary one with me. I am at Murfreesboro'. It is 9 
o'clock, A. M. The passengers rush into the cars, and take 
their seats. The iron horse utters his shrill neigh, and dashes 
away like Mazeppa's scared steed. 

"We are now passing through high embankments. Nothing 
is visible but red clay and jagged rocks. Don't say, " Look 
out \" for goodness sake, or that Irishman's head will become 
jelly. Now we are rushing, like lightning, along the brink 
of a precipice. The car careens — a little more one-sidedness, 
and we are in eternity ! 

Now, we are rushing along the banks of a rolling river ; and 
now we are gliding over a bridge. If one timber "gives 
way,'' the silvery waves that flow beneath will be your hus- 
band's winding-sheet. 

Now, we are whirling with the mighty speed of our fiery 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 1441 

charger over a narrow patli that skirts a " rock-ribbed" hill ; 
and now we are plunging through the rayless bosom of a rock- 
hearted mountain. 

Now, again, we are winding along the outer circle of a 
small and peaceful valley, embosomed amid the hills, and over- 
arched by the blue sky. Now, we are riding over the pearly 
and pebbly rivulet that meanders through it. The tramp of 
our horse, and the rattle of our train, make so much noise we 
cannot hear its gentle murmur, the only music of the vale. 

And now, we are careering along the banks of the beautiful 
Tennessee, its clear, deep waters below ; and above, our 
mightiest mountain rears heavenward its giant form. 

And now, we are in Chattanooga, at " The Crutchfield 
House;'' and p?'ese?i('7y we'll be eating supper. 

You think you would be alarmed by such a ride, do you 
not ? Well, you are mistaken. The cars were full of cowards, 
and no one was scared. It is scary only at a distance. 

" The Look-Out Mountain" seems to stand within '^ a 
stone's throw" of " The Crutchfield House." The morning 
after my arrival, supposing it to be about three-quarters of a 
mile to the top, I thought of walking up, and was in the act of 
starting, when a friend told me it was two miles to the base, 
and three via the road from base to summit; and oifered to 
loan me his coal-black steed. I accepted the offer, and finally, 
after missing the way several times and travelling round and 
round for ten long miles, reached my destination. 

Oh ! talk not to me of Leman's Lake, of fair Italy's vales, 
of Alps and Apennines pinnacled with glaciers, while Niagara 
thunders in the North, the green prairies of Texas amil© i» 



150 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

the far South-west, and the Look-Out lifts its granite apex in 
the midst of our glorious Union. 

Let us teach our children to make Meccas of the scenery 
of their native land. Kiss them for me. I hope you will 
live long enough to make pure thoughts and holy aspirations a 
part of their existence. 

Tell the servants " howdy ;" and say to them I hope you 
can truthfully tell me, they have tried to do their best. I will 
esteem them so highly for obeying you in my absence. 
Yours, affectionately, 

William Atson. 



LETTER XXI. 

Apex of Look-Out.— A hugging and kissing couple.— Three days in Kno^- 

villo.— Happiness in tribulation.— Rome.— Macaulay.— The Kennesaw. 

—Atlanta.— Two little secrets.- The Author confesses his sins— Not to a 

priest, but to a priestess.— An interesting conversation interrupts the 

confession. 

Talbotton, Ga., March 16. 

Dear Molly : — When I closed my last I was sitting upon 
a coal-black steed, on the granite apex of '' Look-Out," five 
tiers of mountains around, and deep vales, a flowing river, and 
gurgling streams beneath me — the world visible to my imagi- 
nation, and in the midst my country appearing the fairest of 
its '' ten thousand" kingdoms and '^ altogether lovely." 

I descended, physically, but the virion forsook me not as 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 151 

the cars that afternoon rattled off towards Dalton. My atten- 
tion was diverted for a time from the beauties of Nature, by 
the indiscretions of humanity. A hugging and kissing couple 
were along. I began my comments as a matter of course. 
This always puts the devil in me. A gentleman, who happened 
to be seated by me, said they were acquaintances of his, and 
had just been married the evening before. ^' So much the 
worse then,'' said I. ^'In an old couple it would be merely ridi- 
culous. But that woman is uttering a libel upon herself and 
her sex. The remarks you and this other gentleman have 
just made, prove this to be the fact; and also that you know 
nothing about the passionless purity of a pure woman. This 
is the very reason I am so severe on such conduct. A woman 
ought to shrink instinctively and with horror from exciting 
such feelings and such comments. Her acts should chill un- 
chaste emotions, and her very presence make vulgarity blush. 
The purity of woman, and her ignorance of the world, some- 
times lead her into apparent impropriety. But it is man's 
duty to guard this purity, to protect this ignorance from 
blunders. He is acting badly who takes advantage of them 
to expose the being he professes to love. There is no excuse 
for that fellow. The girl may not know, but he Jcnoios, if not 
what we are saying, what we are thinking." 

You will say, these remarks were uncalled-for and impru- 
dent. I cannot tell the observations that called them forth; 
and as for prudence, I don't profess to have any when woman 
and George Washington are the subject of conversation. 

Leaving Chattanooga late in the afternoon, we have but 



152 



two hours of daylight in going from there to Dalton and from 
Daltou to Knoxville, as we reach the latter at 3 o'clock, A. M. 

Knoxville is quite a pretty place, located on hills at whose 
base flows the placid Tennessee. I spent three days there. 
One of these days was the Sabbath. Having met with an old 
literary and medical schoolmate, who is a Presbyterian, I at- 
tended that church with him. The Rev. Dr. McMullen is 
the pastor — a meek, melancholy-looking man, who for twenty- 
five years has been trying to persuade the people of Knoxville 
to walk in the straight and narrow track. His text was : ^' We 
glory in tribulation also." His sermon- was appropriate, and 
expressed my views exactly ; but the solemn countenance of 
the speaker and the melancholy cadence of his voice sug- 
gested the idea, that, though the theory of happiness in tribu- 
lation might be good, the practice of the theory was the very 
devil. There was no joyousness about the preacher. I 
wanted to get up and tell the congregation, that I had learned 
not from the sacred desk, or by studying in a closet, but out 
in the hubbub of the world and in the midst of personal trial, 
that the Apostle Paul was a man of practical sense, and that 
any reflecting, teachable man would find, whether the ques- 
tion was viewed morally or commercially — that it would lead 
him into misery, to repine and fret, and grow bitter about 
trouble ; and that there was good cause to glory in tribula- 
tion, not sought, but unavoidable, for tribulation, properly 
received and considered, does undoubtedly ^^work patience, 
and patience experience, and experience hope." 

When I telegraphed you to direct your first letter to Dalton, 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 153 

I expected to visit Green county before returning. Still, as 
it was possible a letter might have arrived there, I allowed 
myself to indulge in a dim expectation of receiving one, but 
was disappointed, and directed it to be forwarded to Atlanta. 

From Dalton I went to Rome. The engine ran off the track 
just before I got on. This occasioned a few hours' delay. 
Rome is not located on seven hills, nor on the banks of the 
Tiber, as is commonly reported. It is a beautiful village 
reposing on the gentle slope of one high hill, which lays 
between the Etowa and Ostanaula,* where the mingling of 
their waters forms the Coosa river. The dome of St. Peter's 
was not visible as I rode in, but the lofty steeples of two neat 
little contiguous churches were. They reminded me of many 
a pastor, and layman, who, with their eyes apparently fixed on 
Heaven alone, are trying to overreach their neighbours in more 
ways than one. 

The next day I journeyed to Atlanta, and there, as I wrote 
you, waited a day for a letter. Two mails arrived during my 
stay — the last should certainly have brought one. The post- 
master said it had not. No one dislikes to ask such questions 
more than myself, but I asked him to look again. He did so, 
and reiterated the fatal negative. I walked calmly back to 
my room, and shut the door; I didn't kill myself; I didn't 
take a drink; I merely resorted to Macaulay. 

It required an effort to resist the depressing influence of 
this disappointment ; but the effort, aided by Macaulay, and a 
long walk, as the shades of evening approached, was success- 

* Ostanaula, pronounced Oostanaula. 



154 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

ful. Pleasant thoughts of home, gilded by hope, returned, 
and " Richard was himself again.'' 

I have now been absent nearly a month, and know not 
what that month has brought forth. Is everything going ou 
smoothly ? Are you all well ? Perhaps some of you are sick. 
Perhaps some of you are dead. This absence, this inability 
to tell you where to write, except at long intervals, are my 
trials. They are the tug of war, the hard part of the battle. 
I sometimes, for a moment, think I cannot " stand it ;'' that 
duty certainly cannot require me to be thus away. But when 
the cowardly fit begins to come over me, I think of '^ battle, 
and murder, and sudden death," of the sufferers at the siege 
of Londonderry, of the bloody foot-prints of the old soldiers, 
away from home, at Valley Forge, of poor women with child- 
ren, sewing for a living in crowded cities, and then grow 
grateful and happy at the comparative littleness of my hig 
trials. 

I occasionally meet a man with wife and children, and 
human feelings too, who has not been home in three or pro- 
bably six months. Perhaps he loves his family as well as I 
love mine. Shall I refuse a sacrifice, which he seems willingly 
to make ? 

Thus work and reading, thought and observation, abate the 
intensity of the yearning for home, rendering it, not a disagree- 
able, but pleasant sensation, just acute enough to keep you and 
the little ones always before me, to stimulate my energies, and 
quicken my speed homewards to the greatest rate compatible 
with duty. 

In three or four days I shall be in Columbus. There I cer- 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 156 

tainly shall feast upon one of your epistles. If again disap- 
pointed, it may take " something stronger" than Macaulay to 
do me. 

By-the-bye, speaking of Macaulay, reminds me of his 
England, the last volumes of which I shall bring you. 
Technically speaking, this book is not a history. It is a 
long, splendid, moral, social, philosophical, theological, histo- 
rical essay, replete with common sense reflections, and radiant 
with the vigour and beauty of an affluent and chastened fancy. 
It is undoubtedly written by the old editor of The Edinburgh 
Review, with his powers of prolongation wonderfully augmented 
by age, or just now exhibited to their full extent, because he 
has taken instead of a month, fourteen years to complete 
" The Article.^' The inimitable peculiarity of this writer is, 
that prolongation does not lessen the condensation of his 
style. 

I forgot^ after describing Rome, to mention my trip in the 
cars around two-thirds of the Kennesaw. This beautiful 
mountain stands, without companions, alone in the midst of 
lilliputian hills. Measured from base to summit its height 
would not probably appear so great as that of " Look-Out.'' 
The high table-land on which it reposes so grandly is, how- 
ever, said to be higher than the apex of the latter; in short, 
to be the highest point, except the mountain it sustains, 
between the Atlantic and the Mississippi. A little farther 
back, where the road crosses the Coosa, a lovely landscape of 
hill and dale dances for a moment before the traveller's eye. 
Blast the beauty of this landscape, and blow up the Keune- 



15G A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

saw; and Georgia, so far as my explorations have gone, would 
not possess a spot to which the term picturesque would apply. 

Saturday, March 8. At 5 o'clock, a. M., left Atlanta, a 
pretty city, created by the crossings of railways, and contain- 
ing six or seven thousand inhabitants. Its founders are 
remarkable for having had the good sense to leave a few 
forest trees standing here and there within it. Took break- 
fast at Griffin, fifty miles distant ; saw and settled my busi- 
ness with three men there, hired a buggy and horse, trotted 
out to Zebulon, twelve miles; saw and settled my business 
with three firms there, trotted back, took the cars at half-past 
5 o'clock, p. M., and travelled to Forsyth, about forty miles. 
Laid over at Forsyth till Sunday night, attended church in 
the morning, and spent the balance of the day reading the 
Testament and writing to you. By travelling two hours Sun- 
day night saved thirty-six hours. 

Slept in Macon, from 9 o'clock till 2 o'clock, a. m. ; took 
breakfast in Americus, eighty miles distant. I mention my 
day's work, from Atlanta to Forsyth, as a sample of the way 
I press forward. I never loiter a moment. I immediately 
hunt up my men, urge them to quit everything else, and 
attend to me, so that I may leave. This appeal is always 
successful ; and thus it is that I have travelled as much in 
four months as a loiterer would in twelve. 

My Mississippi and Texas trips could each have been easily 
doubled as to the length of time. Smith, too, would have been 
better satisfied. He does not, I think, understand how I can 
get along so fast, and attend well to his business. Although 
I have never yet left a place, where a month's sojourn would 



OR, HEART WIIlSrERS. 157 

have more completely settled it. This hurry also saves him 
the amount of extra expenses for delays per day, which would 
vary from two to four dollars. I feel a delicacy in explaining 
my progress thus to him, just as I would in telling him of my 
riding on horseback, when there is no particular cause for fast 
driving, instead of in a buggy, because it saves him §1.50 
per day. 

This last is a secret he, I presume, will never know. An- 
other is, that about noon, after leaving Americus, appetite 
reminded me of dinner, and a house of entertainment was not 
far distant. The days were not sufficiently hot, or sufficiently 
long, to require feeding a horse during rides of forty miles. 
The horse, however, was as much in the habit of dining as 
myself. Missing a meal would injure me no more than him. 
I had tried it in Texas. So I resisted the temptation to 
selfishness, and passed on. 

I am almost ashamed even to tell you these little struggles 
of conscientiousness, although we are one, and I am professedly 
writing a diary of my journey, and my heart. 

^^ I thought you were opposed to having any secrets of your 
own,'* you will probably reply. As a matter of course I meant 
had secrets, those that weigh upon the conscience, those of 
which not the telling but the publicity would stain the cha- 
racter. 

Good secrets, however small, do the heart good. An in- 
judicious babbler or braggadocio, is disagreeable, if not 
despicable. 

You may be disposed to inquire whether I inform you of 
all my bad acts ? Really I am treated so well, I have nothing 
14 



158 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

to arouse my besetting sin — irritability; and travel too fast 
for temptation to assail me. All the annoyances I have expe- 
rienced, occurred the morning I arrived at Americus. 

At Macon I got in the cars, and according to tbe custom in 
the nigbt trains, when not crowded, took two seats, lying 
down in one and resting my feet in tbe other. Just as I 
" got fixed'' for a snooze a red-haired fellow — confound red- 
haired fellows ! — desired me quite unceremoniously to let him 
have one of the seats. I rose up, looked around, saw a 
number unoccupied, and simply remarked in that peculiarly 
calm and soft tone, which I cannot help using when ready for 
war to the death, and which Wilkins says, he understands so 
well, that it would, though scarcely above a whisper, wake 
him if he were fast asleep, ^'I expect to retain both these 
seats till the cars become crowded." The fellow evidently 
disliked to yield, but did so. 

I lay down as I spoke, and would soon have been in the 
arms of Morpheus had not a political conversation commenced 
between two gentlemen behind me. Both were intelligent. 
One was gray-haired, possessing a silvery voice and great 
fluency. The other talked well also. The last was a fire-eat- 
ing Locofoco, though not a very voracious one. The first was 
a Conservative of the Clay and Fillmore school. 

What kept me awake was not so much the interest or 
novelty of the conversation, as the wonder excited by the exact 
concordance of this venerable stranger's views with mine, not 
simply in their outlines, but in all their details. This might 
have flattered my vanity, had not the immense disparity in our 
conversational capacity depressed the pufliness of the little fool. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 159 

I wish I had known in boyhood the power of, and the 
advantages derivable from the proper exercise of this gift. 
We all have some talent that way, and a talent can always be 
improved. 

If desirable in men, conversational ability is peculiarly 
charming in woman. You are " some' with the tongue ; and, 
• what is saying a great deal for one of your sex, you are a judi- 
cious talker — your talk never degenerating into mere garrulity, 
unless I am sitting by very much interested in reading ; or, 
involved in the throes of labour, being about, if not interrupted, 
to bring forth an idea. 

Alice, with her flow of words, her capacity to reason, and 
her vigorous imagination, should, if properly trained, attain 
great conversational power. Nature has done its part. All 
we have to do is to fill her heart with holy aspirations, her 
head with useful information ; to teach her, through the 
medium of composition, how to use the best and simplest 
words to express an idea, to trim as she grows older the wings 
of her fancy, to impress on her the importance of so modulating 
her voice as to be heard distinctli/ only by those she is address- 
ing, and the absurdity of talking merely to be talking, or to 
show how smart she is, as well as the folly of cant, or twang, 
or formality in, or giggling, or laughing, unless there be 
something to laugh at, during conversation. 

But I have forgotten that I started to report my annoyances 
and sins. Well, I had no sooner reached Americus than a 
gentleman, looking at me firmly in the eyes, said something I 
didn't exactly relish. He however '^ dropped his eyes'' so 
soon as he finished his sentence, and continued writing. I 



160 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

stood looking at liim for a moment and walked off. Had lie 
looked at me a second longer, one of us would have missed 
breakfast, I presume. I eat, and " knocked around awhile'' 
attending to business. But you know it is against my nature 
to keep anything disagreeable on my stomach. So I walked 
back, and said, " Look here, Mister, do you know that you 
made me as mad as the devil this morning?" He asked, 
^' How ?" I told him. He replied that he had been irritated 
by other parties ; that I came up while the irritable mood was 
on him ; that he was soriy he had wounded my feelings, and 
would then, and there, make all the reparation in his power — 
an ample apology. "We were not simply acquaintances after 
that, we were friends. I had use for him, and he willingly 
allowed me to use him. You know after this he could have 
led me like a little child. 

In Albany, a lawyer I had never seen, who thought I had 
interfered with his business, called me aside in the most 
excited manner to demand an explanation. Attacking people 
was an old thing, but to be attacked was such a novel occur- 
rence it really diverted me. I talked to the gentleman so 
quietly, and eyed him so firmly and quizzically, that ^'he 
smelt a rat,'' apologized for his excitement, and requested me 
to say nothing about the matter. Somebody doubtless had 
quizzed him. 

Lovely priestess, I believe, with the exception of omitting 
to report that I occasionally say " the devil and all his angels," 
I have confessed to you all my sinful acts. Kiss the children. 
Yours affectionately, 

William Atson. 



IGl 



LETTER XXII. 

White-footed horses. — Georgia. — Georgia compared with Texas and Flo- 
rida. — The people in the Piney Country. — The unpardonable sin. — 
Classification of the human family based on butter. — High water. — 
Thoughts in the wilderness. — Music. — Poetry. — Chattahoochie, Indian 
names. — The author thinks of becoming an editor. — Criticism of his 
wife's letter. 

Hamilton, Ga., March 17. 
Dear Molly : — Having come here on horseback, and left 
my carpet-bag in Talbotton, I find myself without Macaulay, 
or even the sheets of paper upon which I commenced writing 
you a long letter yesterday. With nothing to entertain me 
but the landlord's tongue and the mournful pattering of the 
rain, I begin another. I believe I had gotten to Americus, 
and was about starting on a horseback tour. 

I am doomed, it seems, to have white-footed or white-legged 
horses. The first horse I practised medicine on was a present 
from an aged relative, and had four white legs. The Mexican 
I rode through Texas had several, and the one on which I 
took the trip now to be spoken of had four. 

There is an old song, I can't think of the words, but the 

substance is that a horse with the latter quantity should be 

killed. The propriety of this rule has not been demonstrated 

by ray experience. All these horses performed finely. Tht 

14* 



162 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

last was a splendid traveller. He paced well^ and was a per- 
fect master of the '' fox-trot/' as tlie favourite gait of eques- 
trians is classically styled. I rode him about one hundred and 
fifty miles in four days, and transacted business with a variety 
of persons. The tour was all the way through a piney country, 
as hilly as our section, and its soil looking as a sand bank 
would if a little manure or rich dark dirt was sprinkled over 
and mixed with it. This is, I think, a pretty good description 
of Georgia thus far. It is rather diverting to see how the 
people deceive themselves. You rarely meet with any one 
who thinks he lives in the pine woods. These are a little 
ahead or a little behind. '^ There is oak where I live," says 
each one. I mentioned this peculiarity in the hack, as I 
journeyed to Talbotton Saturday night. A gentleman re- 
plied : " Well, it is true you have been in piney, but you are 
out of it now. The timber here is oak, and the country is 
rich.'' I thought, even as he was talking, I could distinguish 
by the starlight my evergreen acquaintances, but concluded to 
wait for daylight before yielding to the conviction of his 
hallucination. The morning showed that the darkness had 
not deceived me. I have travelled to-day twenty-five miles 
through this fertile country. There are some oaks, and occa- 
sionally a medium-sized chestnut tree, but it is still pines and 
oaks, not oaks and pines. It is true also that the soil is not 
so sandy, but it is more clayey. Fifteen bushels of corn and 
less than half a bale of cotton per acre would be about the 
average amount of production. 

Give Texas as many railroads as Georgia, and who could 
estimate her prospective wealth? In ten years every section 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 163 

of the size of this state would contain three times the popula- 
tion and six times the wealth. It is just as healthy, the 
climate is as agreeable, the scenery more beautiful, and the 
soil vastly more fertile and durable. 

But let's go back to the ponclyy 'pinei/ country, which lies 
between Americus and Cuthbert, via Albany. It resembles 
Florida, in being interspersed with large, deep ponds. The 
latter, however, has the advantage. Its ponds do not dry up, 
and its pineyness is relieved by rich and finely-timbered 
hammocks. The cars are approaching, but the whistle of the 
engine has not yet awaked the people of this section. They 
lack enterprise— they are lazy. The men hunt and smoke 
and poke about. The women dip. The darkies loiter. From 
my short sojourn among them, I am inclined to believe they 
are kind-hearted and clever, like the vast majority of our 
species, but that they do not generally have hutter. 

Now, although I myself individually can eat fried meat, and 
"sop'' a biscuit in gravy without grunting, and, by means of 
a charity that hopeth all things, forgive these folks for living 
amid the pines and the ponds, for being lazy, and even, that 
staggers me, for dipping^ I regard their not having hutter as 
the seventy -eighth sin for which forgiveness is not commanded. 
Were I a teacher, lecturing on geography, I should say : 

" Boys : the human family may be divided into three classes. 
The savage, the semi-savage, and the civilized. The savage 
make slaves of their women, and don't have butter. The 
semi-savage treat their women as equals, but don't churn. 
The civilized combine the two great goods, butter and the 
equality of woman. 



164 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

"Wliile on this subject, I will fartlier remark, that in 
East Tennessee, and tlirougliout Georgia, at this season the 
only vegetable used is eggs. For fear you should ever have 
to travel through these remote nations, I would advise you, 
my dear fellows, to practise eating them while you are young. 
I suffered no inconvenience from the custom above mentioned, 
because I learned to eat ^ um' ' biled hard' when a boy like 
yourselves." 

I was badly prepared for rain, and it began to drop soon 
after I started. Vast quantities fell during the first three- 
fourths of my tour. It was so arranged, however, that I suf- 
fered scarcely any inconvenience therefrom. It drizzled occa- 
sionally during the day, and poured constantly at night. The 
creeks rose to such a height as to render the propriety of 
attempting to ford them, very doubtful. As the horse felt his 
way through Bear Creek and Blennerhassett, I began to fear 
lie would find '^ the bottom out/' so high did the water reach. 
But it did not reach quite high enough for drowning pur- 
poses, and we landed safely. One heavy shower during the 
day, and I would have been drenched from head to heels. A 
few hours more of rain, and I might have been detained by 
the high-water or drowned. Am I not a fortunate traveller ? 
And should I not be a grateful one ? Well, what do you 
think? I had so little to do as I journeyed, not forty, but 
four days, through the wilderness, that I listened for "the 
miserere of the pines." For two days I listened in vain for 
the plaintive chant, unless it was the death-thunder of one old 
giant, that fell slowly as I passed, crash after crash beneath the 
woodman's axe. The third day the wind began to play upon 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. IVjt) 

its green-topped instruments. It would take L. Virginia to 
detect, blindfolded, the difference between " the miserere of 
the pines'' and the miserere of the oaks. It is, I presume, 
the same tune that the same harper plays in the forest about 
your dwelling. You have felt, many a time and oft, its wail- 
ing notes, especially during a dull, cloudy day, falling on the 
heart like those of a deep-toned organ, when, at the twilight 
hour, it pours its melancholy music along " the dim cathedral 
aisles.'' 

Talking such stuff reminds me of J.'s having called me a 
prose-poet. That word <^ prose" was a saving clause. 

If I am a real poet, 

I am quite old not to know it. 

• 

It is true, they are about my only efforts; but this and the 
following impromptu parody, conceived on a hot, calm day, 
away down in Louisiana, as I rode old Stanley along the banks 
of the Bayou, scorched by the mingling of the rays of the 
two suns, that stood like globes of fire— the one in the sky 
above, the other in the sky below the water— are certainly 
among my best productions. 

No breath of air doth break the wave 
That rolls between La Goula's banks, 
Stanley from death by heat to save, 
Or fan and cool his rider's shanks. 

Few have the poetic head. Many possess the poetic heart. 
However deficient in the former, I should dislike to admit 
myself destitute of the latter. The poetic is like the musical 



166 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTATN; 

sense — a necessary component of every sound soul. You 
know, I can neither wliistle nor sing, nor play a tune on any 
instrument ; that I have not the ability to learn to do these 
things ; and that I cannot even tell when a tune is properly 
^' turned.'' Yet who more easily swayed by sweet sounds ? 
The fiddle shakes my foot. The flute soothes and softens; 
the drum and fife make all that is martial stir within me. 
Out of the vast crowds that heard Jenny Lind at the St. 
Charles and Odd Fellows' Hall, I was probably the only one 
utterly devoid of a musical ear. But was any one present more 
completely enwrapt, transfixed, intoxicated by the passing 
melody ? The man who has no poetry in his soul is just as fit 
" for treasons, stratagems, and spoils," as he who has no music 
'there. They are sister senses. And he who possesses them 
not is as morally maimed, as he is physically who has not the 
senses of sight and hearing. I claim, therefore, to possess 
them. Who does not ? Without them, how dreary, how icy, 
would the cold reality be ? Who could live under the pros- 
pect of the monotony of three meals a day for twenty or more 
years, did not fancy picture the table radiant with the vision 
of human countenances, and vocal with the music of human 
voices ? Without it, would there be any prospect at all ? 
How could I drag existence through twelve long hours alone 
in the pine woods without its aid ? How could I hear the 
angel-warblings of the distant song queen ? How could I hear 
the terse logic of the once stuttering Demosthenes, or the more 
artful oratory of the polished Cicero ? How could I hear the 
thunder of our own great Webster, the silvery tones of our 
greater Clay, and the sublime rhapsodies of that hero of pa- 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 167 

triotism and eloquence, the slandered Kossuth ? How could I 
see, even now, Alice's dreamy countenance, Anna's sweet face, 
Nellie's sparkling beauty, and the wife, around whose mater- 
nal knees they cluster? How could I see God, were it not for 
the creative, " the shaping power" of imagination ? 

Pitiable indeed is the man, if such a one there be, who has 
not keys in his soul that respond musically to the touch of this 
mighty magician ! 

March 20. I am now on the steamboat Cusseta, walking 
the waters of the Chattahoochie. These Indian names, and 
the views above expressed, remind me of the impulse that 
caused me to call him who desired to change the name of 
Etowa to High Tower, an unromantic scoundrel. This whis- 
per of the heart, you perceive, was logical. I would as soon, 
throw down the Colossus, and blow up the Pyramids, as blot 
out these Indian names. They are almost the only memorials 
to remind us, not only of the Indian past, but of our country's 
past. They are obelisks pointing to the period when the 
forest was unfelled, and the red man was its king; hunting 
the game, shooting arrows at his foes, and dancing the war- 
dance beneath its overarching branches; when the Indian 
mothers sung lullabies to their babes, and Indian maidens 
listened to tales of love on the banks of these winding streams ; 
when the timid partridge whistled fearlessly in the hazlcnut 
bush, and the more timid fawn sported courageously on the 
green sward. They are statues, pointing with one hand to the 
rudeness and imbecility of a by-gone barbarism, and with the 
other to the polish and power of a present civilization. 

Well, what think you ? I have written the preceding para- 



168 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

graph without telling you that I reached Columbus last night 
about ten o'clock, got up this morning, went to the post office 
before it was opened, had the good luck to meet the postmas- 
ter at the back door, just as he was about to lock himself in — 
explained my case, persuaded him to look for the long-expected 
letter, and waited till he told me it was not there. 

Knowing that you have done your duty, I have no comments 
to make. Yesterday, four weeks ago, I bid you and the little 
ones adieu. In less than that time, letter or no letter, I hope 
to tell you "howd'ye." I dislike this absence from home so 
much, I have been canvassing the question, whether I would 
accept a proposition to edit " The Sentinel." When the home 
feeling is strong within me, I think I would. But when I 
reflect on my want of preparation, the disagreeableness of 
being eternally before the public, whether blamed or praised — 
the moral responsibility of an editor— and my inherent inca- 
pacity to be a one-sided party man — I conclude to reject it. 
Then, again, the thought strikes me that, may be, I have 
talents, as my friends seem to think so, and my occasional and 
spasmodic efforts have been attended with great success ; and 
the questions arise :— If I have, am I not burying them in my 
present business ? Might I not do some good if I had daily 
an audience of five thousand people ? 

Then, again, I remember, that almost everybody's friends 
think they are smart, and that many a third and fourth-rate 
little fellow of my acquaintance has been praised by his friends 
and the public, until he thought he was ^'some pumpkins;" 
or, to use an expression not quite so classical, was Atlas carry- 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 169 

ing the world upon his shoulders. Thus I revolve in an eddy, 
making no progress to a conclusion. 

I have, on this subject, but one fixed principle, and that is, 
to consult, to the best of mj judgment, the interest of your- 
self and the brats, without any reference to my own feelings, 
or Borrioboola Gha. The only being described in the Good 
Book as worse than an infidel, is " he who provides not for his 
own household.'' 

I omitted to mention that I rode from Hamilton to King's 
Gap, the name given to a post office at the base of " Pine 
Mountain,'' I suppose, from its being contiguous to a gorge 
that divides the two peaks of the mountain. Here I should 
doubtless have had another vision of the grand and the beau- 
tiful, but for the mist and the fog, and will now modify a re- 
mark previously made, by saying, that the traveller does occa- 
sionally catch views of the pine hills, which may be styled 
picturesque. After supper, on the evening of the 21st, no 
boat being at the landing, I left Eufaula in the stage, reaching 
a railroad station about 4 o'clock, a. m. ; and, after lying in 
the cars two hours and a half, started for Columbus, where we 
took breakfast. I again inquired for a letter, and was again 
disappointed. 

At 11 o'clock last night left Georgia. This state possesses 
one good quality — perseverance. The ruling passion was 
strong in death. It was sandy and piney to the last. 

23d, Montgomery, Ala., Sunday. Arrived at breakfast 
time, took a bath, put on clean clothes, and asked the way to 
the Episcopal Church, where I heard Bishop Cobb preach. 

Before, however, citlxcr bathing or going to church I stepped 
15 



170 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CLRTAIN; 

around to the post-office. The postmaster handed me two 

letters from Smith. I told him those were not the ones I 

wanted; that he must find me some others. He took another 

look and could find none. I Tfalked away ; but it struck me 

yours might have arrived some time ago and been advertised. 

I discovered that this was the case, and received your second 

letter forwarded here from Mobile. I have only read it three 

times, as yet. So you see I am well prepared to criticise it. 

1st. It is too short. 2d. What it tells about you is too bad. 

If. you will disobey my orders, and make yourself sick, it is 

certainly the height of impudence to write me about it; the 

idea of your getting up at 5 o'clock in the morning, and then^ 

I'll bet, you miss taking your nap in the aftenioon half the 

time. 3d. You don't say enough about the children, &c., &c. 

But I'll read it again, and see if I cannot find more faults in 

it. If I could only have gotten the previous one, all these 

objections, except the folly of your making yourself sick, would 

doubtless have been removed. 

I have just returned from church again, and given your 
letter a fourth perusal. It is very sweet, and though too short 
to satisfy me, is sufficiently long considering how unwell you 
were. It is now about 10 o'clock. You and the little ones 
are in dream-land, I presume. How I wish I could steal in 
and gaze on your calmly reposing countenances ! Having not 
been in bed for two nights, I must now seek the embrace of 
<^ the sweet restorer." 

Montgomery, 27. This afternoon I start to Mobile. A 
week hence I expect to write from that city, and can then tell 



I 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 171 

you whether I shall return home, or go to South Carolina first. 
Kisses for all. 

Yours 

William Atson. 



LETTER XXIIL 

The way to cheer a sickly or gloomy wife. 

Mobile, March 29, 1856. 

Dear Molly:— I arrived here yesterday afternoon, hired 
a cab, and rode out to Cousin Robert's, to get letters from you. 
Never having seen the ladies before, I had to be introduced 
and sit awhile. As soon as I reached the street I opened iha 
letters, and commenced their perusal without reference to 
dates. It so happened that I read the gloomy one last, and 
by the time I finished it was growing dark. 

The wail of your despairing spirit was heard by, and its 
gloomy tones were echoing and re-echoing through mine, — I 
was thinking of what might have happened, of what I ought 
to do, of what I could do, whether it would be of any use to 
telegraph, to quit business and hurry home — in short I was 
bewildered, confused, gloomy, and was going to my room to 
brood in solitude over your sickness, and my absence from 
your side, when an old familiar face appeared before me, and 
a friendly hand with more than ordinary cordiality pressed 
mine. The face and the hand were those of Singleton- 

The appearance and the pressure were exceedingly oppor- 
tune. They acted upon me like a cheerful message from home. 



172 A PEEP r.EIllNL) THE FAMILY CT^UTAIN; 

Singleton didn't simply ask after you all; he made you the 
subjects of conversation. He told anecdotes of Alice, when 
she used to sit at the table in her high arm-chair. He spoke 
with feeling of Willie's early death, and commented on his 
Doble countenance. He asked if you were the most beautiful 
woman about Memphis, as you undoubtedly were on La Goula, 
&c.; &c. Under the influence of such talk I couldn't feel 
gloomy. Hope sprung up and whispered that you had reco- 
vered. I passed to my room, and on examining the dates 
of your letters more particularly, found that the more hopeful 
ones were written last ] that you were decidedly convalescent. 
And as the promised despatch had not arrived, though ten or 
twelve days had elapsed, it was reasonable to suppose you had 
completely recovered. 

As Singleton is not in the habit of being complimentary, it 
is strange he should have fallen into this train of conversation 
just at this juncture. I told him you regarded my thinking 
you beautiful as very ridiculous, and thought I stood alone in 
my opinion. He expressed surprise at this information, and 
said your beauty was an admitted and undisputed fact in your 
old neighbourhood. 

Now I did not know that he or the people there thought so, 
nor does the fact raise you in my estimation. It does, how- 
ever, give me rather a higher idea of them. I did not know 
their taste was so refined. 

By-the-bye, it struck me as very singular, while reading 
the outpourings of your affection for my honourable self, that 
a refined, delicate woman should love a man. Why, I had as 
soon love a rhinoceros. 



173 

In nothing, however, has Providence displayed its wisdom 
more than in this. Woman wants a protector, and conse- 
quently entwines her affections about the man she supposes 
to be strong and brave, though he may be ugly and uncouth. 
Hence, too, the reason women rarely fancy pretty men, be- 
cause prettiness and effeminacy generally unite in the same 
person. 

On the other hand, man — the rhinoceros — wants something 
to protect. Hence men, that are men, love delicate effeminate 
women. Knowing this as you do, it is strange you should 
have intimated, in the gloomy epistle, that your death would 
be a small loss to me, on account of your feebleness and ill- 
health. Your liver must have been terribly out of order: 
otherwise you could not have been so gloomy or forgetful. 
You well know that these are the only things that have saved 
you ; that I could not live with a fat and healthy, or masculine 
woman ; that if you had been either I should have gotten a 
divorce, or killed you off long ago. You would hesitate now 
to become fat and healthy, for fear I'd quit loving you, quit 
nursing you, quit carrying you in my arms ; for fear Td say : 
^^ Weed your own row, you are too much of a man for me." 
And yet you will annoy yourself, especially when your liver 
gets out of order, with the idea that you are not sufficiently 
useful. As though the earnest and painful efforts of the 
sickly to do all they can, however feeble, were not more touch- 
ing, more worthy of love and admiration, than those of the 
robust and the restless, however successful. 

April 1st, 10 o'clock at night, and I have to make an early 
start in the morning, for Wahalak. 
15* 



174 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

I intended to write you a long letter to tell you of tlie 
beauty of Montgomery, to describe Mobile, to dwell on the 
pleasure the company of Singleton has alForded me, to tell of 
my visits to Cousin Kobert's, and how delighted I am with 
his family. The old gentleman has, however, worried me so 
about his hobby — that hobby which has reduced his lovely 
family to poverty, that I had not time to fulfil my intention. 
The probability, 1/ear, is that I will have time to write again. 
Don't begin to look for me before the 20th. If I go by Can- 
ton and Jackson I will hardly arrive that soon. I telegraphed 
you to-day to telegraph, and write me at Columbus, Miss. I 
can but feel assured from your silence that you are well, but 
to be told this is really so, will make the assurance doubly 
sure. Kiss the children for me. It is useless to send mes- 
sages to them through a mother, who talks to them so much 
about their father, that even a fifteen months' baby, who 
doesn't like strangers, will quit that mother, and stay with no- 
body else but that father, after he has been absent nearly three 
months. You know this was the case with Nellie on my last 
visit home. You may depend upon it I have not and never 
will forget it. I regard it as an exceedingly touching evidence 
of your unostentatious love. How insignificant, in my estima- 
tion, the huzzahs of the mightiest multitudes, compared with 
the sweet incense that ascends from the hearts of yourself and 
those three little girls. 

Remember me to the servants. 

Yours affectionately, 

William Atson. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 175 



LETTER XXIV. 

The author meets with kin-folks, at Wahalak, and his match at joking. — 
Describes a Mobile family. — The old man and his hobby. — The author 
in love again. — Montgomery, Ala. — Half-cities. — Lanier. 

April 5, 1856. 

Dear Molly : — The wanderer is at "Wahalak, and with 
the Maynards again. Cousin Robert refused to '' take out" a 
letter for me at Mobile, because he could not believe it possi- 
ble that I had a correspondent at this little out-of-the-way 
village. A fact more improbable was discovered last night, 
as we sat chatting before the fire. This kind family are 
^^ kin" to me. Mr. Maynard's given name is James L. He 
is a near relation of the once beautiful Cousin Pattie L. — the 
girl (^perhaps you have heard me speak of her) with the blue 
eyes, the fair complexion, and the auburn ringlets. You are, 
also, 'probably aware (now don't become jealous) that I spent, 
in the days when I was young, an entire week at her father^s 
rich valley plantation over which the mountain, topped by 
a certain seminary, casts its shadow in the morning; that 
during this delightful week I sat almost constantly by her 
side, called her '^ Cousin''^ in my softest accents, read the whole 
of Lalla Rookh aloud, and talked in the same dulcet tones to 
her hour after hour through the long days, and far into the 



176 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

dewy nights. Well, Maynard, being "kin" to the lovely 
Pattie, is "kin" to me, and I am not at all ashamed of the 
relationship. I am much pleased with the whole family. He 
has two grown daughters, and they are good-looking. But 
for this, you know, I might have been tempted to have de- 
clined the cousinship. 

It seems, however, impossible for a woman to be related to 
me without being more than ordinarily handsome. ^ made 
some such observation at the breakfast table this morning, and 
Maynard remarked, " If your female relatives have been in 
the habit of getting their beauty from you, they will have to 
stop now, for they certainly have got it all.'^ We all laughed 
at the ahsurdifj/ of the remark. At least I must put this con- 
struction on it, in order to save my cousin's taste from your 
just indignation. 

It is still April the 5th, but the wanderer is not at Wahalak. 
He is eighteen miles distant, sitting in a hotel in Macon, 
writing by candle-light. The preceding page was written in 
a pause of business, the other parties being in consultation. 

As relations were my subject, I will resume it by telling 
you something of Cousin Robert's family. His wife is nearly 
sixty, looks younger than this, and is plain and sensible, hav- 
ing those quiet and modest manners which are so charming 
and yet so rare in old ladies. Mrs. Britton, or Cousin Lizzy, 
as I shall hereafter call her, has two sweet daughters, one 
about nine, the other eleven years of age. The oldest is 
handsome and gifted. Both seem to have been well managed. 

Cousin Lizzy is quite a beauty. She is twenty-eight, but 
does not appear to be more than eighteen. Her taste in dress 



OR^ HEART WHISPERS. 177 

is unexceptionable ; and her manners are perfect, blending ease, 
modesty, and grace in precisely tbe rigbt proportions. The 
old gentleman was so insulting to me in our conversations 
about bis bobby, that I finally said to bim, " If you were a 
young man, I could not permit you to talk to me thus/' To 
my great astonishment, tbis made bim furious. He jumped 
up, sbook bis finger at me, said bis age should make no differ- 
ence ; that he had a son in Montgomery who would settle the 
matter with me ; that he himself was an Atson as well as my- 
self, and would not " take an insult.'^ I replied, '' Who has 
insulted you ? I am certain I have not. Am I sunk so low 
in the scale of humanity that I cannot tell an old man, who 
has been insulting me for two days, that I could not permit a 
young man thus to insult me ? I would not insult you if you 
were to spit in my face.'^ He said, " Yes, sir, you would tear 
me into atoms." I told bim if I should so far forget myself, 
I would afterwards hire some one to kick me out of town. 

All this occurred because, when everybody else forsook him, 
I aided bim to the best of my ability, but was not willing, 
before being satisfied of the feasibility of bis plans, to give up 
all other business and pitch blindfold into the vortex of his 
whims and caprices. 

He gradually cooled ofi", and declared he had never designed 
to insult me. We parted friendly. I was, however, afraid 
his family might think I was harsh with him, and determined 
to explain myself to them. 

These tete-^-tetes made us thoroughly acquainted. Cousin 
Lizzy being so pretty and so sensible, I appointed her my con- 
fidential agent. Now it follows, as a necessary consequence, 



178 A TEEP BEHt-VD THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

that a man who has a heart will fall in love with his confi- 
dential agent^ if that agent he a heautiful, aceomplishedj and 
sweet- voiced woman. And so it was with me. I really 
couldn't help loving her some. But you won't object to this. 
You know it^s no harm to love your cousin. 

I took Singleton out and introduced him to the family. He 
returned enthusiastic in his admiration of old and young. 
The fact is, considered in all its branches, it is a remarkable 
family. Connected with it is a little boy who is a genius. A 
pictorial letter — pictures being used for words wherever it could 
be done — composed and drawn in admirable style by an absent 
sister, was exhibited for our inspection. On the table was a 
picture painted by Cousin Lizzy; and Mr. Singleton, who is 
a connoisseur in everything relating to literature and art, 
declared on our return to the Battle-house that it could not be 
surpassed in the United States. The most siogular thing is, 
that none of them have ever taken drawing or painting lessons, 
and do not seem to be aware that they are peculiarly gifted. 

What caused me to love Cousin Lizzy, was not alone her 
beauty, her manners, or her genius. It was the frankness, the 
common sense, and the filial respect and affection she displayed 
when we talked of her father. The old gentleman is doubt- 
less a monomaniac ; otherwise he could never have deliberately 
taken so interesting a family inch by inch down to poverty. 
He is undoubtedly kind-hearted, and even now believes he is 
working solely for their interest, though he is begging their 
hard-earned dollars to waste upon his favourite project. Not 
only so, he thinks he is supporting them, though really an 
unmitigated tax upon them. All, however, treat him with 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 179 

"Little Dorritt" delicacy. I saw, although their judgment? 
approved my determiuatiou, it would distress Cousin Lizzy and 
her mother for me to refuse to gratify the old man's whim, 
simply because it would distress him, and I yielded once more. 
It is the last time. He knows but little more about men and 
business than a ten year old child. 

You can form a very good idea of the appearance of Mobile 
from its resemblance to New Orleans. Their locations are 
very similar. The main difference between them relates to 
extent. There are, however, but few points from which this 
could be noticed. 

Montgomery is one of the most beautiful towns I have 
visited. It is built upon a plane of high table-land on the 
banks of the Alabama, with an amphitheatre of hills around 
it. The capitol of the state and other fine edifices overlook it 
from the summit of these hills. Viewed from across the 
river, it presents quite an enchanting picture. The whole is 
visible — valley, hills, houses, the green pines, and the gently 
flowing stream. The environs are also quite pretty. The 
plantations are perfectly level— -the cleared portions being 
sometimes adorned with vine fences, whilst in the back ground 
stands the dense forest, rendered beauteous by the inter- 
mingling of the verdant pine tops with the red leaves of the 
beech and the faded foliage of the oak. 

I have, however, but little respect for these half-cities. 
Their inhabitants occupy a disagreeable '^hetweenity,'' possess- 
inf' neither the leisure and good-natured politeness of the 
villager, nor the charming polish of the city gentleman. I 
sometimes feel provoked at their puffiness, but soon reflecting 



180 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN J 

that this is a disease produced by their peculiar position, that 
they are human beings doubtless with human hearts, but are 
afflicted with the dropsy, I wipe a tear from my cheek, and 
think no more of them, unless it be to smile at the ridiculous- 
ness of the mock dignity this affliction imparts to their appear- 
ance, manners, and conversation. Nothing herein stated must, 
however, be supposed to refer to Lanier, the landlord of '^ The 
Exchange Hotel/' Although he did nothing for me that I 
can remember, and charged me two dollars and a half per day, 
still in some way, I don't know how, he left the impression on 
my mind that he was a clever, kind-hearted old gentleman. 

April 6. The wanderer is now at Columbus. This is the 
first Sunday I have travelled, or failed to attend church, ex- 
cept the one I spent on the steamboat. My travelling to-day 
was a matter of necessity, owing to the stage arrangements. 
I telegraphed you from Mobile, and expected a reply here, but 
none has arrived. I have not heard from you since the 9th 
of March. This is awful. I shall try to get home sooner, 
but do not look for me before the 20th. I do not know yet 
whether I will return by Vicksburg or by Aberdeen. 

In fifteen days I hope to kiss you all. 

Yours, 

William Atson. 



END OF PART SECOND. 



PAET III. 



GEORGIA. SOUTH CAROLINA. NORTH CAROLINA. 
VIRGINIA. EAST TENNESSEE. 



16 



LETTER XXV. 

Another stage trip. — Ladies along. — Mercantile gallantry. — Some fun. — 

A message to the negroes. 

> 

Decatur, Ala., June 15, 1856. 

Dear Molly : — Only three days have elapsed since I 
kissed the sleeping Nellie, and tore myself away from you, the 
clinging little ones, and home. But those three days seem an 
age, so numerous have been the faces upon which I have 
looked, and the scenes through which I have passed. 

At the depot I had to wait half an hour. A gentleman 
was there who perplexed my thoughts of home with talk. In 
the cars I found Manning, whose tongue rattled with anecdotes 
till we parted at Moscow. Then, a stranger, going to the 
springs for his health, grew worse, and needed my attention. 
At Pocahontas were only two coaches for Tuscumbia, and 
over twenty passengers. After a scuffle for a ticket, I suc- 
ceeded in getting one ; and seeing five ladies in one of the 
coaches, I gave that the preference. Fortune favoured me. 
This coach carried the mail, and " made the connection.*' 
The other did not even attempt to make it. So, you see, my 
gallantry saved me twenty-four hours. There was, however, 
I must confess, something of the merchant about it. I calcu- 

(183) 



184 A PEEP BEHIND TUE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

lated that if either coach had the preference, or advantage in 
any particular, it would be that containing the ladies. 

We had quite an interesting time. Recently I have not 
been able to sleep well in the stage. But, from some cause or 
other, during this trip I could scarcely keep my eyes open — 
doze, doze, nod, nod. 

I was seated in the middle of the middle seat. The strap 
had stretched so that it threw my head, when leaning back, 
quite close to the lady behind me. I would fall asleep with 
my head to the side, or hanging towards my breast. Presently, 
under the influence of the jolting, and my drowsy struggles to 
keep it on, it would assume a perpendicular position, vibrate 
for a while, and then drop right back, as suddenly as though 
the front muscles of my neck had been quickly severed, strik- 
ing the lady's bonnet or face. This, and the roar of laughter 
following it, would wake me. I would join in the laugh, 
crack a few jokes, and feel wide awake; but, in a moment or 
two, sleep would again close my eyelids ; my head commence 
bobbing, and the same scene, with amusing variations, be re- 
enacted. 

I intended to rest-to-day, and go to church this morning ; 
but an hour and a half's riding, just at church time, will put 
me twenty-four hours ahead. The balance of the day I will 
spend in Huntsville. 

Can't you persuade the negroes to attend church regularly? 
Tell them they serve me so well, I don't want the Devil to get 
them. Remember me kindly to them. Tell Sukey I shall 
be very much dissatisfied, if she does not wash better for you 
and the children. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 185 

Kiss the children for me. Give my respects to M., and 
accept my best love for yourself. ^ 
Yours affectionately, 

William Atson. 



LETTER XXVI. 

Prefers daughters to sons. — A caution to a haughty person. — Delicate 
praise. — A good tonic for a sensitive and sickly wife. — A prescrif iion 
which would astonish the husband of a fast woman. — The children. 

June 21, 18—. 

Dear Molly : — I am now comfortably ensconced at " The 
Mills House/' " The Hotel,'' according to rumour, of Charles- 
ton, S. C. I arrived here only a few hours since. Fearing 
Drake & Co. would close doors until Monday, I rushed around 
to inquire if letters from home and New York had arrived. 
They had ; and I have perused yours twice already. How it 
takes me back to Bothwell, with its tall oaks, its evergreens, 
and its flowers — ^botanic and human ! The sun is about down ; 
you are all assembled in the front porch. How I wish I was 
there to keep watch with you " upon the steps at home !" 

It is my nature to love the weak. Knowing myself and 
the female character, I was right in preferring daughters to 
sons. I knew I would love them more ardently; and that 
they would reciprocate that love with a more unselfish and 
enduring intensity. I can't bear to see a man love his sons 
better than his daughters. I judge not, but the fear will 
creep into my heart, that the soul of such an one is not whollj 
16* 



186 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

sound. There is a pomp and a pride in the peril of resisting 
the proud, the haughty, the strong. There is a divine luxury 
in feeling that you are the shield of the pure and the defence- 
less. 

I am not destitute of prudence; and I aim to be, and 
think I am, generally governed by the dictates of common 
sense ; but if a gigantic man were to pass by me now, and 
give me a defiant look, the more I thought of his power to 
crush me into atoms, the stronger would be the temptation 
^^ to pitch into him.'' 

Bishop L. didn't know how easily kindness could lead 
me, when, in a paroxysm of excitement, he shook his finger 
in my face, and described himself, as he said to me — " I don't 
blame you, Atson ; you can't help having your own way any 
more than you can the shape of your face !" The best way to 
render me powerless is to give me power. 

I have had many compliments, but the one I appreciate 
above all, is, that no acquaintance, not even a candidate, ever 
tries to drive or flatter me into doing anything. They always 
address my judgment, or appeal to my sense of honour or 
duty; not dogmatically or haughtily, but kindly and per- 
suasively. 

The inference from all this might be, that I was too sensi- 
tive and suspicious, seeing haughtiness and defiance where 
none existed; and thus taking exceptions and getting into 
difficuxcies unnecessarily. In early life there might have been 
some truth in this. It is not, however, the case now. I have 
foand men better than I anticipated. The petty pride, the 
vanity, the haughtiness, the self-conceit of mere acquaint- 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 187 

ances rather diverts me. " The heart may be right/^ I say to 
myself; "the head is weak. That's all.'' If, however, a 
bosom friend desires to keep the flame of my respect and 
affection for him warmly and brightly burning, he should not 
let these features of his soul " stick out" too palpably. Their 
frequent exhibition will, in spite of my philosophy, produce a 
chilliness, which might become chronic and incurable. 

If a woman looks up to me mainly for protection, and is 
very devoted, when no other society is convenient, let her re- 
member not to be too saucy, too indiflferent, or too independent^ 
when circumstances change. This, I confess, would lessen 
her in my estimation, and chill — and, if I were certain I was 
not mistaken — eradicate my love. 

A third party would scarcely understand the above; but 
you will understand it, and should interpret, and attempt to 
impress it indelibly on the person alluded to. You knew, 
when you wrote that little letter, my weak point ; and hence 
told about your health being more delicate, and dwelt on your 
being of no account. You see, you have often heard me say 
I thought it doubtful whether I could love a healthy woman, 
or a woman who was some account — that is, " could weed her 
own row." You have often heard me say, that, even now, 
after having for eleven long years guided our tiny bark by the 
light of the star of love through the rough sea of poverty, I 
should get a divorce were you to become both healthy and 
wealthy. It was, therefore, a stroke of policy in you thus to 
write. But, seeing through it, as I do, it won't answer this 
time. 

I love you enough ; and now, when I am far away, in the 



188 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

midst of strangers, with distance to lend enchantment to an 
enchanting home, where wife and children are all the husband 
and father could wish them. I will not allow that love to be 
increased by any such trickery, It's all stuff. You are " some 
account.'* You are worth your victuals and clothes, to say 
the least. You can suffer and sleep half the time, and then 
do more than a slow person would, scuffling through all the 
weary hours. 

With your ill-health few would do anything. I am certain 
I would not. And if you do not desire to freeze the deep 
well of my affection for you, you must yield implicit obedience 
to the following laws : — 

1. Do not work at all. Take a long nap every afternoon ; 
and spend your active hours in observing, thinking, and di- 
recting. This course will "pai/ better," Thafs the argumen- 
tum ad mulierem. Your thoughtful superintendence will be 
better for your health, giving you just about exercise enough ; 
and the prevention of one blunder on the part of the negroes 
might be worth more than a year's sewing. 

2. Your appetite is delicate. Delicate food is necessary for 
you. Buy, therefore, for yourself what you desire. This is 
economy, and there is no selfishness in it. It would be the 
height of selfishness in me to indulge in rarities and not share 
them with those unselfish children, who would deprive them- 
selves of every sweet morsel, in order to force it down their 
father's throat. But for you to gratify a physical fastidious- 
ness for the sake of that health which is necessary to those 
self-sacrificing children, is not only not selfish, hut an impera' 
tive duty. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 1?9 

3. Buy immediately one doz?n best claret, ind drink at 
dinner, every day, lialf a tumbbr, until you find it disagrees 
with you. 

What would the husband of '' a fast woman" think, could 

he read the preceding page ? X feel like kneeling down and 

thanking God for the blessilgs that surround me. Why 

should I be selected to have such a wife — a wife so unselfish, 

that I have to force her to i:idulge herself in the simplest 

luxuries ? Why should I be blessed with such sweet, indus- 

-trious children ! Alice's unselfishness, like the sunshine, 

elicits no comment. We are accustomed to it. But I must 

allude to the little five year a.d Anna refusing, without being 

told, to taste a certain '■^ rarity" at dinner, for fear there would 

be none left for pa, when he returned. Even Nellie wants to 

give her pa everything. Who teaches them this ? is it my 

" no account^' wife ? 

Yours J 

William Atson. 



190 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 



LETTER XXVII. 

North Alabama.— M. of Huntsville.— Huntsville enthusiasm.— HuntsviUe 
again.— The millionaires.— Sickness and treatment. 

Charleston, S. C, June 22, 18— ^ 
My Dear Wife ; — I mailed a letter to you this morning 
I didn't, however, likd the first part. At least, I feared you 
would not. It was too egotistical and metaphysical. So, 1 
concluded to begin another "right offj" and, as the old Bap- 
tist preacher, from whom you so often quote, said, " speak in 
xmove plain and simple manner, so that the women and child- 
ren can understand me." 

After going to Huntsville, I had to return to Decatur, 
where I wrote you. On my return to Huntsville, Mr. M. 
called for me at the hotel, and took me out to his country- 
home, a mile or two distant. There I spent the night. M.'s 
style of living is unostentatiously grand. The house and the 
furniture are plain and massive. There is no parade. Every- 
thing is quiet and orderly. Here, luxury seems so simple, and 
80 at home, that the plainest peasant would scarcely notice it, 
unless his attention was specially called to it. It was precisely 
such as I would expect to see were I to visit the country-seat 
of an old English nobleman, whose ancestors, for centuries, had 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 191 

been reared in luxurious affluence, and who had never seen 
anything else. 

The grove around, with its forest trees, its evergreens, and 
its summer-houses, was beautiful; while Mt. Salon looked 
down upon and poured through it its cool and healthful 
breezes. 

The whole of North Alabama is lovely, especially at this 
season. As the car rushes from valley to valley, the traveller 
is enchanted with the clean and well tilled fields, dotted with 
the green cotton, or waving with the luxuriant corn, and sur- 
rounded by the distant hills. It is almost as pretty as Texas j 
and Huntsville is the favoured spot in this beautiful region. 

This village is located upon a hill, in the midst of a valley 
literally environed by mountains. From beneath this hill, 
gushes a mighty spring of cool, pellucid water. 

Twenty years ago I drank of it. I was in my ^' highland 
dress,'' "bound for the wars.'' I was an enthusi\.o't then. 
My country was the goddess I worshipped ; and fame whis- 
pered, I'll be " there to tell who bleeds." I am an enthusiast 
now ; but my enthusiasm takes a bolder, a steadier, a higher 
flight. I never can grow old. It is a moral impossibility. 
And so long as I am young, I shall be enthusiastic. Can one 
;row old, who sees the wise, good God, everywhere^ in every- 
tiling ? — in the storm of faction and fanaticism that threatens 
his own, his native land; in the poverty which blasted all his 
young, ambitious hopes ; in the afflictions that have come, or 
that may come upon the wife of his bosom, or the angel trio 
that hang about her knees ? Faar not : He will be with you, 
The honest shall be saved, ia i ioctrine which will prescxvo 



192 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

forever the youtli of tlie upright. I believe God Almighty 
would turn the heavens upside down, and shiver the material 
creation into atoms, rather than permit one truly honest, good- 
meaning, struggling soul to suffer, without giving that soul an 
opportunity to extract from that suffering blessings sufficient 
amply to repay him for it. 

Paul was honest ; and, on his way to Damascus, the Bible 
says, God created a focus of light, brighter than the midday 
sun, and threw its concentrated radiance into the eyes of the 
bewildered sinner, in order to convince him of his error. 

I don't want any moping, melancholy, miserable descend- 
ants ; and these views are a panacea for, an antidote to, all the 
complicated ills humanity is heir to. Teach them to the 
children. 

Physical suffering cannot make any one permanently misera- 
ble. That experiment has been fully tested. History vouches 
for the fact ; and my observation confirms the record. You 
are not miserable. You enjoy life a great deal; and yet, if 
all the moments that you felt well and vigorous during the 
last eleven years were added together, the whole would not 
amount to a week. Thus it is with others, who might be 
mentioned. If the soul be sound, and the intellect does not 
torture it with some horribly incorrect notions of God, a dys- 
peptic stomach or a disordered liver may depress the spirits 
for a while, but the depression will not last long ; and, even 
while it lasts, will not go deep enough to justify its possessor 
in styling himself miserable. Old Job, whilst grunting and 
groaning forth his sublime lamentations, could not help feelin 
somewhat happy in the very climax of his agonies. For he 



d 

1 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 193 

rested his soul upon God ; and so intense was his faith, that 
he exclaimed, even then, ^^ But He knows the way that I take. 
When He hath tried me, I shall come forth as pure gold." 

Well, toell, well. I started to write about Huntsville, and 
have gotten back to Job. I don't know whether you will call 
the foregoing metaphysics or not — ^but the deed is done ; and 
if I were to tear up this scroll, and attempt to write another, 
I might plunge still farther into the dim old past, or land at 
some worse place. 

Huntsville is blessed with everything wealth can bestow. 
It has fine churches, fine schools, fine society. It has more 
advantages, and fewer disadvantages, now that the railroad 
connecting it with the world is about completed, than any vil- 
lage I have visited. Were I wealthy, and seeking a home in 
which to spend the evening of my days, pleasantly and quietly, 
there my search would cease. It would suit you and the 
children too. If sickness visits the vale, the mountain tops 
are in sight. 

From Huntsville I came, without stopping, except for meals, 
to Atlanta. Stevenson is at the junction of the Memphis 
and Charleston with the Nashville and Chattanooga road ; the 
road through the mountains which I described to you some 
months ago. 

In the cars I found two old acquaintances — both million- 
aires. They stopped at Chattanooga. In order to have ^^ some 
fun," I asked the landlord if he knew them ? He said " no." 
^^ I do," said I; ^^ and you had better keep your eyes on them. 
They seem to have no baggage." He began to watch so 
energetically, I gave him the wink ; but he promised to carry 
17 



19-1: A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

on the joke. After supper, I started again. The cars rattled 
on for eighteen or twenty miles, and then ran off the track. 
This delayed the train four hours ; but did not interfere with 
my plans at all. 

The next day I felt so unwell; that I had to lie down most 
of the few hours I remained in Atlanta; but still attended 
to my business, and went on to Madison that night. The bad 
feeling about my head increased, and I became sick at the 
stomach. I think I must have had just such an attack as 
Nellie's. It lasted about as long — twenty-four hours. I 
treated myself as I did her. That is, missed a meal, and gave 
myself no medicine. It would have been rather a luxury to 
have had the little attack at home, with you and Alice by my 
side, and Anna and Nellie scrambling over me. For when 
lying down I was quite comfortable. 

I am now in first-rate health. Always give my respects to 
M. ; and remember me kindly to the servants. 
Your affectionate husband, 

William Atson. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 195 



LETTER XXVIII. 

Epicurus. — Georgia. — "Nil Desperandum." — Description of a peculiar 
species of inhabitants in Orangeburg and Anderson, S. C. — A fight with 
them. — Forgiveness. — The hugging conplo again. — The City of Charles- 
ton. — A pleasant elixir for the Abolitionists. — St. Michael's. 

Anderson, S. C, Saturday night, June 2S, 18 — . 

Dear Molly : — I arrived here an hour before sundown, 
and, remembering that this evening was herald to the Sabbath, 
I hurried around attending to business; and after I had got- 
ten through was told by young Mr. Bolton, to whose father I 
brought a letter of introduction, and who was kindly intro- 
ducing me, that the c^s would not again leave till half-past 
three o'clock the day after to-morrow. So that I have not 
only Sunday to rest, but the greater part of Monday. How 
shall I spend my time ? 

The reason I do not suffer from low spirits is, that I prac- 
tise in morals as well as physic, upon the principle ^^ that an 
ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." I look ahead, 
and lay plans to prevent disagreeable sensations. This is 
why I ask the question now, how shall I spend my time ? 

The answer is — read, walk about, attend church, reflect; 
and whenever the home-feeling begins to produce home-sick- 



196 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN J 

ness, put down your book, cease your ramblings and your reflec- 
tions, and do tlie next most pleasant thing to seeing home, that 
is, write to your sweet wife, the mother of your sweet children. 
But be cautious to write no more at a time than just the 
quantity requisite to relieve the acuteness of the home-sick- 
ness; or the result will be either that you will write more 
than a reasonable husband ought to require his wife to read, 
or be afflicted with hours of weariness and depression, to which 
you cannot apply the exhausted remedy. 

Thus you perceive I design, during the ensuing forty-eight 
hours, prolonging the pleasure of writing to you, by doing so 
only at intervals ; and then, '' miserable wretch I'^ you might 
appropriately exclaim, from a calculating selfishness worthy 
the truest disciple of Epicurus. 

To return to the journal. I left off at Madison, a beautiful 
village in Georgia. By-the-bye, in describing the poverty of 
Georgia's* soil, I may have done some injustice to this portion 
of the state. On the route from Chattanooga to Madison, 
there is not much sand. The red clay only is apparent, 
which relieves the stranger from the apprehension of being 
swallowed. 

By way of apology to Mrs. G. for my criticisms on her 
native state, say to her, that I saw in it cotton two or three 
inches, and oats with heads almost matured from a foot to a 



* In speaking of the appearance of Georgia here and elsewhere, as well 
as South Carolina, North Car(^lina, and Virginia, the Author presumes the 
reader to be acquainted with their real resources— their astonishing pro- 
ductiveness. 



OR^ HEART WHISPERS. 197 

foot and a half high ; and young growing corn that looked 
green. 

The sandy, piney region does not fully begin till you reach 
Warren ton. From there to Charleston, pines and sand pre- 
vail. 

Tell Mrs. G-. also, that I do not think she ought to be 
ashamed of her birth-place — / believe God made Georgia; 
and not only that He made it, but that its creation was de- 
signed expressly to tax the ingenuity and develop the skill 
and energies of man. It is a mighty monument of poverty, 
upon which man has written all over its surface " Nil despe- 
randum.'^ Every house in its piney wildernesses ; every 
manufactory therein ) every plough furrow in its sands j every 
stalk of cotton, corn, oats, wheat that extracts its green colour 
from the white soil beneath ; every village that thrives ', and 
above all, every railroad track that rests upon it, say to the 
traveller — ^'Nil desperandum.'' Every neigh of the steam- 
horse repeats the motto. The song of the car-wheels, as they 
rattle forth their monotonous music, is "Nil desperandum.'' 

Every hypochondriac should travel through Georgia, and 
that part of South Carolina which extends from Augusta to 
Charleston. If such a trip didn't cure him, the doctors had 
as well give him up. The propriety of indulging hope, and 
working perseveringly under the most unfavourable circum- 
stances, is here practically demonstrated. Wherever the 
observant traveller turns his eyes the demonstration is visible, 
and it is " ding-donged" into his ears with audible and un- 
ceasing vociferation. Properly considered, its hopeful precept 
will follow him into whatsoever circumstances, entanglements, 



198 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN 



diflSciilties, afflictions, duty leads him, nerving his soul for 
the contest, and driving even from its portcullis the advancing 
demons — Depression and Gloom. You are now in the midst 
of peculiarly depressing and gloomy influences. Can you not 
allow Hope to engrave '' Nil desperandum" upon your heart ? 
If not, " pack up your duds" and start for Georgia right off. 

Since leaving Madison ten days ago, besides spending two 
days in Charleston and one in Columbia, I have stopped in 
fifteen or sixteen villages, and made from four to six acquaint- 
ances in each. 

They do not call the divisions in this state counties, but 
districts. Each district has a court-house of the same name. 
These court-houses are the principal villages, and generally 
have stores around a square — the house of law being in the 
centre. They are all situated on elevated and undulating 
ground, and are quiet, shady, and pretty. 

Only two are worthy of a distinctive notice. They are 
Orangeburg and this place. Their only peculiarity consists 
in being densely populated, in addition to the white and black 
people, with a Lilliputian race of a reddish-brown complexion. 
These inhabitants are, doubtless owing to their size, very 
timid. They only make their appearance at night ; and not 
then, unless they think it too dark to be seen. They seem to 
live on peaceable and friendly terms with the other classes of 
residents ; but the inhospitable and cowardly scoundrels, under 
cover of night and under the bed cover, will suck the very 
life-blood from a stranger. 

I have, however, the proud consolation of knowing that I 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 199 

killed fifty of tliem in one battle at Orangeburg, and twenty- 
five in anotber at tbis place. 

War is disagreeable under all circumstances ; but tbere is 
always some pleasure, botb in tbe excitement of battle, and in 
tbe post-contemplation of one's skill and prowess. No old 
Indian bunter can beat me in tbese melees. My plan is to 
blow out tbe Hgbt, get in bed, lie — like tbe brave Jackson in 
tbe Benton difficulty — as tbougb I were dead, until tbe enemy 
collects and commences tbe attack. I tben jump up, strike a 
ligbt, and slay as long as a foe is visible. Tbis operation, tbe 
Jackson or opossum part and all, I repeat every few minutes 
till tbe attacks cease. 

Honesty, bowever, compels me to say, tbat in Orange- 
burg, alias Cbincetown, I was conquered and forced to make 
two disgraceful retreats. After baving killed fifty, I lay 
down awbile ; tben jumped up again, and perceiving tbat 
about as many more of a larger and stronger kind, witb courage 
stimulated by bunger depicted on tbeir blood-tbirsty visages, 
bad assembled in tbe centre of my downy coucb — I reflected 
a moment, slipped on my clotbes, retreated to tbe parlor, and 
lay down on tbe sofa. Alas for buman bopes, and buman 
courage ! tbe attack was renewed tbere. I retreated to two 
bard-bottomed cbairs in tbe middle of tbe room, and snoozed 
for an bour ; wben I was awakened by tbe landlady saying, it 
would be 4 o'clock by tbe time I arrived at tbe depot. After 
paying her fifty cents for my delectable lodging, I bade ber a 
kind and respectful adieu ; and cast a parting, but not revenge- 
ful thought upon my conquering enemy. 



200 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

"The linden tree perfumes, when riven, 
The axe that laid it low; 
Let man, who hopes to be forgiven, 
Forgive and bless his foe." 

The solemn questions I now wish to propound are, whether 
a woman who permits chinches to infest her house, is a lady, 
either in a social or moral sense ? Can she be a Christian P 
Does not such carelessness indicate both a want of polish and 
a want of religion ? Is it not filthy, selfish, inhospitable, un- 
charitable ? 

As General Cofi"ee said to Colonel Ephraim Foster, when 
the latter inquired whether he thought him a fool — perhaps I 
^' had better not press^^ these questions, as you are a woman 
and a housekeeper; and now is the season of the chinch's 
murderous discontent. 

In going to Chincetown, I saw the kissing and hugging 
young married couple, of whom I wrote on a former tour. 
There was nothing of the sort now. At tea I said : ^^ I 
think I saw you on your way from Chattanooga, just after 
you were married. You don't seem to be as fond of each 
other as you were then." Both coloured deeply, but laughed. 
Their friends took the hint, and laughed more heartily. After 
this introduction we became quite well acquainted. Their 
conduct doubtless originated in thoughtlessness. But men 
and women ought to think. 

Charleston resembles New Orleans and Mobile in its flat 
location. It is, however, not so well-built as either. There 
are many fine buildings, but in their midst stand many of the 
old frame ones. These latter I regarded, at first, as very 



I 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 201 

objectionable; but as I became accustomed to their appear- 
ance, I grew rather pleased with them. Everything in this 
young and glorious country of ours, bears so novel an aspect 
that antiquity throws a charm even around the common and 
the homely. Just think of the fears, the excitement, the 
hopes the human heart experienced in those old houses in the 
days of Sumter, and Marion, and Rutledge. Just think 
of the brave men and the venerable matrons, the trembling 
maidens and the prattling children that plotted and whispered 
and told the news, and prayed, and loved, and played within 
those old walls sixty or eighty years ago. Just listen to the 
shouts of patriot joy they echoed. Just see the lights that 
illumined their windows when Cornwallis yielded his sword to 
Washington, and Tyranny staggering beneath a mortal wound 
loosened his hold upon the new-born nation. 

I never understood before why Charieston, one of our oldest 
cities, has never grown more populous. The reason is that it 
has no contiguous back country fit to live in. On one side of 
its triangular location is the bay. On another is a low, flat, 
poor, piney country. On the third is a swamp, a sojourn in 
which at night is as fatal to the stranger as breathing the 
nocturnal effluvia of the Pontine marshes. 

The city itself is said to be remarkably healthy— its health 
being only occasionally interrupted by the visitation of an 
epidemic. Why it should be healthy I cannot easily perceive, 
but it seems to be really the case. For never before have I 
seen in any city such a large proportion of children, white and 
black, all looking healthy, cheerful, and happy. 

I have never examined the census report on this point, but 



202 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

it appears to me that one-lialf of the population is black. 
Sunday, you know, is the gala day of the negroes everywhere 
in the South. Here they swarm along the streets. This at 
first was rather provoking. To be looking for the pretty face 
of a white southern lass, and see ebony; or, to quote from 
Governor Wise, ^'ebo-shin and gizzard foot'' at every step, 
required the exercise of patience on the part of so great a lover 
of the beautiful. 

I consoled myself, however, by reflecting upon the astonish- 
ment of an Jionest Abolitionist, could he behold the whites and 
blacks perambulating these streets together. The care-worn 
or thoughtful countenances of the former saying, ^^I have 
debts to pay.'' "I have children to provide for." ^^ I want 
an office." The oily skins, the shining teeth, the laughing 
eyes of the latter replying, " I enjoy the present. I take no 
thought for to-morrow. Master got to support me here sick 
or well, and God will take care of me hereafter." 

Butler, instead of making speeches against the Abolitionists, 
ought to invite them to Charleston. If the argument of a 
visit failed to convince them of their error, they might as well 
be given over " to hardness of heart, and reprobacy of mind 
to believe a lie, that they may be damned," by a dissolution 
of the Union. 

Sunday, June 29. To-day a week ago I attended church 
in the above-named city. Through respect for a certain lady, 
who adorns Bothwell with her pure presence, I asked for an 
Episcopal church. St. Michael's, with its tall steeple and its 
melancholy chiming clock, was pointed out to me. 

The exterior of a pretty little Episcopal church at Mont- 



I 



203 

gomery, Ala., where I heard Bishop Cobb preach, struck me 
as rather peculiar. The cupola was at one corner, giving the 
sacred edifice the appearance of a handsome little belle wearing 
one of those little bonnets, which require to be held on by a 
maid following the wearer, or of a moustached fop with a gold- 
headed cane in his hand, and his hat on the side of his cra- 
nium. But it was the interior of St. Michael's that arrested 
my attention by its singularity. Its lower story was only a 
little above where the basement should have been, and the 
gallery was only a little above where the lower story should 
have been. Some of the pews were very small, others two or 
three times as large as usual, and others again had the seats in 
them so arranged that the occupants would necessarily sit with 
their backs to the preacher. The same comical arrangement 
prevailed to some extent in the gallery, which seemed to con- 
stitute fully as important a part of the church as the lower 
floor. The pulpit was, however, the thing about which my 
thoughts forced me to smile. It was located below, about one- 
thiid of the way from the posterior end of the building, being 
on one side, and consequently much nearer to one gallery than 
the other. It had two stories, one in front of the other, and 
was somewhat in the shape of a summer-house, though built 
of heavy materials. Behind the pulpit there was a deep 
alcove, ornamented with a golden star in the centre, and gilt 
letters on either side. The minister read some prayers in the 
lower story of the pulpit, and some in the deep alcove. lu 
neither of these places could a large portion of the audience 
see him. Those in the gallery, on his left, were blessed with 
a vision of his head only when he ascended the second tier in 



204 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

order to read his sermon. I thouglit this would be a fine 
church for that Catholic priest to act in who betted he could 
make one-half of his audience laugh and the other half cry at 
the same time. I could not help thinking that this pulpit was 
admirably adapted for the performances of a monkey with a 
red jacket on. You see he could show his agility by jumping 
from one story to the other, and then to the top. After getting 
on top he could grin and curl his tail, and wink at those in the 
gallery, so as to make them giggle and shout, whilst those 
below, not knowing what those above were giggling and shout- 
ing about, would "bring down the house" with applauding 
echoes. 

I saw one pretty woman there. In fact, being pretty, I 
might call her " a galaxy of beauty," for her dress was so low 
in the neck, I saw, or imagined I saw, the beginning of " the 
milky way." 

I make fun of notliing serious. These were the ridiculous 
things I noticed, and the above are the ridiculous thoughts 
they engendered. Strange inconsistency. The minister and 
the congregation, worshipping in this fantastic edifice, were 
unusually plain, unostentatious, and devout. The services were 
solemn, and the sermon feeling and sensible. 

I do not like to end in this way, but have no more room. 

You and those little sweeties know you have my heart. Kiss 

them for me. 

Yours, 

William Atson. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 205 



LETTER XXIX. 

Sunday. — Home. — " Little Dorritt." — Dickens. — Clay. — The days of yore. 

YoRKViLLE, S. C, July 6, 185-. 

My Dear Wife : — 

" Another weekday's work is done, 
Another Sabbath is begun ;" 

An institution that alone stamps the seal of wisdom and good- 
ness on the brow of its Author — a day for shutting the physical 
eyes and opening the eyes of the heart — a day of rest to the 
weary worker and the weary thinker — a day for the worn way- 
farer to think of home and heaven. 

At Glreenville, a pretty, one-street, shady village, where a 
railroad ends, I hired a buggy and driver, and passing through 
the districts and towns of Lawrence, Spartanburg, and Union, 
am now in the district of York, and the hamlet of Yorkville, 
where a railroad begins. 

To-morrow 1 start for Charlotte, N. C, at which place I 
hope to receive two letters from you. 

When will these restless roamings cease ? When shall I 
see you ? Shall I ever see you and all the little ones again ? 
I almost invariably think of you as I left you. But occasion- 
ally, when I reflect on the length of time which has elapsed 
18 



206 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

since the date of your last letter, the last solemn question will 
obtrude itself upon my soul. 

When shall I enjoy the luxury, not only of seeing you all 
once more, but of sitting down quietly with you upon Both- 
weirs green summit, and saying. Henceforth I will not leave 
you; henceforth the little ones shall have their playmate 
father always in reach; henceforth I will partake daily of the 
caresses of wife and children; henceforth I will be with you 
in every trial, and participate with you in every enjoyment? 

As my children, young as they are, believe, although they 
may not understand the mystery, that I forsake tliem for 
their hencfit, even so I believe that my Father '^who is in 
heaven" is leading me in the right direction, though the path- 
way be dark, meandering, and mysterious. And it would 
indicate horrible self-conceit thus to believe; and yet to doubt 
that he holds in the hollow of his protecting hand the purer 
beings I have left behind. 

I finished Harper for July before sending it. Dickens is 
putting the community somewhat in the same fix Pisistratus 
Caxton did, when he named his novel '' My Novel.'' Now 
who could have the heart to abuse my novel ? said his father. 
And who could have the heart to abuse '^ Little Dorritt V 

say I. 

You might object to the snuffling Panks, and the silly, 
good-natured, garrulous Flora. You might even object to the 
sedate Clennam (and I do feel provoked with him for not 
loving his little protege), and many other things already out, 
and to be published ; but you would have to specify, you would 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 207 

be afraid to say " I don't like ' Little Dorritt/ " for fear some 
one should suppose you meant, not the book, but the heroine. 

I love Dickens, He is the most persevering and powerful 
preacher of charity now living. He has no superior in his 
knowledge of man's heart, and in ability to turn it inside out. 
But it is not for these qualities I love him most. It is for his 
deep insight into female character, and the ease, the power, 
the pathos with which he reveals to the world the unselfish- 
ness, the tact, the prudence, the purity of true-hearted women. 
Has he learned his lesson from association with a good mother, 
good sisters, a good wife, and good daughters ; or is his know- 
ledge the mere intuition of genius ? 

Poor '' Little Dorritt V do you not feel for her, tortured, as 
the last number leaves her, with that indefinable sensation, 
which the modest but unloved maiden experiences, when Cupid 
first shoots the fatal arrow, and which would eat the bloom 
from the cheek and life from the heart of such an one, before 
she would acknowledge, even to herself, that its name is love. 

Afer perusing Harper I began the Life of Clay by Sargent, 
a small book I brought along, in order to refresh my memory 
upon certain political measures connected with the exciting 
topics of the day. 

For the first time in my life I am at a loss how to vote. 
What a patriot, and not a party man, should do at the ensuing 
presidential election, is a query difficult to answer. Mr. Fill- 
more is a great favourite of mine, and I dislike Democracy. 
But Democracy has taken the right position upon the all- 
absorbing question of slavery, and I am fearful, that voting 
for Fillmore, who stands but little if any chance of election, 



208 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

will be equivalent to voting for Fremont — the Black Repub- 
lican candidate. And you know that whilst I dislike Jesuitical 
Democracy, I hate that sectionalism, which wages war upon 
the Constitution — the only cement of our Union. 

I shall wait and watch, and only determine how to cast my 
vote, when the advanced canvass has thrown all its light upon 
the subject. 

Reading old Clay's life carried me back to the days of yore. 
I lived over again the canvass of 1844. Jones, Brown, Smith, 
Jenkins, Johnson were around me, wild with the enthusiasm 
of youth. I stood again on the steps of a hotel in F., and, 
amid the shouts of the cheering multitude, told them how, 
in a few weeks, the nation, in a voice louder than the roar of 
ten thousand Niagara cataracts, would proclaim the defeat of 
little Jimmy Polk, and the triumph of Henry Clay, the states- 
man, the orator, the sage of Ashland, the man of the age. 
Then I walked along the streets in F., and met a strange 
young woman, than whom in all my travels I have never 
seen one more beautiful, when the bright eyes sparkle with 
emotion, or the excited intellect kindles the almost perfect 
features with unearthly radiance. Then, I hear again the 
voice of Jones, saying, '^ Atson, I am going to give a party. It 
\ will not do to neglect that girl, merely because she is staying 
at Jackson's — that fiery embodiment of Locofocoism, and you 
must escort her to it.'' 

I lived over again the walk up to Jackson's, from a sense 
of duty. I was again electrified by the remark of that beau- 
tiful girl, as we journeyed to the party, " I have a hard time 
with the Democracy at my cousin's; you are the first Whig I 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 209 

have seen/' "Good heavens, Miss, are you a Whig?'' I 
remembered, how the affirmative reply banished the cold sense 
of duty; how I handed her into the room; how I glided about, 
and said : " Boys she is a Whig;" bow the boys flocked around 
and made her acquaintance; and how the strange girl was the 
belle of the village, from that moment till she and I stood 
together at the bridal altar, and swore to be faithful until 
death. I wept again over the defeat of Clay, and again 
thanked God that the strange girl was still my loved and 
loving wife. 

Kiss the children, and teach them to love me just as I am. 
Don't make a pretty picture of the rough reality. 

Remember me kindly to M. Tell the servants how much I 
esteem them, and how firmly I believe they will do their duty. 
Yours, 

William Atson. 



210 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 



LETTER XXX. 

Columbia, S. C.-Another effort to cheer a sickly wife.-A cheering pre- 
scription.-Fashionable humility.-The little washerwoman.-The beau- 
tiful story-teller.— Childhood. 

Columbia, S. C, July 12, 1856. 
My Dear Wife ;— I am again in this beautiful little city, 
where green trees adorn the wide streets, keeping the brick 
walls cool, and refreshing the eye with country aspect and 
reminiscences. 

I came from Charlotte, N. C, to-day, where last night I 
received, and perused, and reperused yours of the 20th ultimo. 
You have laughed so often at the quizzical manner with 
which I described Larkin telling me he "was sorry his wife 
■ was dead," that I am almost afraid to say, "I am sorry you 
are so unwell.'^ It is nevertheless the fact, smile as you may. 
I do, however, complain of myself, that I do not in my 
absence sympathize more with your sufferings. Buoyant with 
health, possessing a head that never aches, a heart that never 
beats too fast, a stomach that always relishes food, nerves that 
rarely if ever tingle or tremble with aught but pleasant emo- 
tions, firmness enough to face the Present, faith sufficient to 
look calmly at the Future, a memory ^Hoo short" to retain 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 211 

the disagreeable in the Past, an imagination that gilds the 
whole with light, and always sees Hope smiling in the back- 
ground of the darkest picture, it is very difl&cult for me to be 
miserable out of sight of actual visible suffering. 

But ever since I read your letter, your pale sweet face has 
haunted me. I have ceased to look at the queen of beauty, 
as she gracefully glides along, with head erect, intellect en- 
throned upon her majestic forehead, and heaven in her dark 
and beaming eyes. 

I am thinking of you as I have watched beside you many a 
day, and many a night, in many a year. I am thinking of 
you as I have lifted you weak and worn from bed to bed, as I 
have carried you about the house, and into the carriage, and 
on to the boat, in these stalwart arms. I am thinking of you 
in more critical moments, when the clammy sweat of collapse 
broke forth, the pulse seemed to have made its final flicker, 
the hue of death marked your features; and, all alone, I, with 
a husband's heart and weeping eyes, had to pour down the 
desperate remedies with the bold firmness of the callous phy- 
sician. And now that I am absent, that you are out of reach 
of my arms, that I cannot kiss away the falling tear, or joke 
away the rising sigh, what can I do to relieve the melancholy 
with which physical causes, irremovable by medicine, seem to 
depress you ? 

You say, I will think you are hysterical. Well, what of 
that ? Are you any more responsible for hysterics depressing 
your spirits, than you would be for a felon throbbing, or a 
tooth aching? Not one particle. But as you would resist 
the childish act of crying, because of these painful afflictions. 



212 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

SO you must resist, with the moral and the mental powers, the 
depressing influence of debility or disease. This I know you 
try to do, but, unaided, you cannot succeed. I want, there- 
fore, to give you a prescription, a weapon bright from the 
armory of heaven, with which to fight the foe. 

Suffering is either caused by our own imprudence, is per- 
mitted by the Deity for the purpose of teaching us ourselves, 
and our duty, in order to educate us for coming time, as well 
as for eternity ; or it is the result of the action of laws, phy- 
sical, mental, and moral, over which we have no control, and 
by the operation of which we become innocent sufferers. 

Whatever position you occupy, in relation to these proposi- 
tions, I have comfort to offer. Have you brought suffering 
on yourself by imprudence? Learn not to be indiscreet or 
imprudent again in anything. And the teaching the lesson 
thus learnt to your children, and through them to your grand 
and great grandchildren to the thousandth generation, will 
more than repay you for the present affliction, " which is but 
for a moment.'^ Is your suffering permitted in order to teach 
you, with all your delicacy, with all your exquisite effeminacy, 
with your utter destitution of all *masculinity, that you are 
naturally extremely firm, extremely independent, and that in 
the vigour of health you might forget who you are, and who 
made you. If so, learn quickly the lesson of humility. 

Now, I am fully aware that you are very discreet and very 
prudent, and that the greatest independence of character in 
relation to our fellows, is perfectly compatible with the deepest 

* Masculinity, " a made word" I believe. 



I 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 213 

humility towards our Creator — see "Washington praying in the 
woods. I therefore do not regard you as occupying either 
of these positions, but as being an innocent suflferer. This I 
regard as the highest position a human being can occupy. It 
is radiant with all the glory, and entitles its occupant to all 
the rewards, of a continuous martyrdom. 

The innocent and the helpless are the care of God. Every 
real sigh they breathe, every disagreeable sensation they ex- 
perience, every pain they suffer, brings Grod in debt to them. 
And they need not be afraid to trust Him. His credit is good. 
To use a mercantile phrase. He ^' is No. 1, extra.'^ The ex- 
ceeding excellence of this debtor consists, not simply in the 
fact that He is supremely honest and supremely solvent, but 
that He is infinitely wise, and made, and knows, and loves his 
creditor ; and will so compound the interest as to make the 
debt very large, and so time the payments that the recipient 
will enjoy the greatest happiness and realize the greatest 
benefit therefrom. 

I wish I could impregnate your soul, and every innocent, 
suffering human soul, with this omnipotent seminal principle 
of happiness. The battle with pain would still continue, but 
the smile of the assured conqueror would ever illumine the 
countenance of the sufferer. 

But you will say, " I am not innocent.'' 

This is not so. And I think I can make you sensible that 
this very indelicate expression to a lady is the truth. 

I assert that you do more and do better than nine hundred 
and ninety-nine out of every thousand at least of my sex would 
under the same afflictions. This I would not have you believe, 



214 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

because it would puff you up, and then I would be compelled 
to take you down ^^ a button hole or two." But I will tell you, 
what you can without immodesty believe, and what you ought 
to believe, and what you will believe, if you will think and 
examine your heart and your conduct, after having thrown off 
the trammels of that whining and groaning humility which 
hypocrisy has introduced into the church, which is not in- 
compatible with the most disgusting self-complacency, and 
which leads many good people into self-deception and false- 
hood. It is that your conduct is based upon a fixed intention 
and deliberate effort to do right, and that you have done and 
are doing the best you could or can in the light and under the 
circumstances in which you were or are placed. Now, you 
cannot deny this ; and, if its denial would be untrue, you are 
innocent, and, if innocent and suffering, God is becoming your 
debtor, and He will pay, and pay liberally ^ and 'pay at the 
right time. 

Do you suppose I could attend suffering little children, and 
suffering, pure women; that I could see and think of my 
sweet wife suffering for no fault of her own year after year, 
and bearing that suffering with a heroism that would put to 
shame a thousand such martyrs as the books tell of, who 
merely passed through the petty tragedy of a few days' punish- 
ment, ending in their being burnt, or hanged, or having their 
heads cut off, thereby achieving a perpetuity of fame, as if any 
man, who is a man, couldn't, for the sake of honour, or 
country, or religion, stand such trifles without trembling or 
grunting — do you suppose, I say, that I could witness these 
continuous afflictions of the innocent without the belief I have 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 



215 



avowed, and not curse God ? I should despise myself were I 
mean enougli to refrain from it. 

Some might consider such expressions irreverent. They 
are, probably, to their Deity. But they and I worship different 
beings. Perhaps their God don't like to hear the subjects of 
honesty, solvency, justice, discussed. Perhaps he won't pay. 
My God loves to see the heart heave with generous emotions. 
He loves to hear the lips express righteous indignation. 
Justice and mercy are the habitants of His throne. 

Irreverent or not, this little effort to cheer you, this rough 
expression of my opinion, the contemplation of the joys this 
doctrine properly understood, considered, and acted upon would 
produce, has stirred the usually calm sea of happiness within 
my soul into a tempest of enjoyment. My now suffering wife, 
my little girls that may suffer, the sick and the poor children 
everywhere, the women in the mines, the women with mean 
husbands, the sewing women, the diseased women, the whole 
army of obscure martyrs, have passed in review before me, and 
to every one I have whispered, " God will pay you." How 
could my eyes be otherwise than tearful, and my heart other- 
wise than happy, when the answering smile on each wan face 
said, *^I thank you; I am happier even now." 

You doubtless have two questions ready for me. First : Is 
it not Pharisaical to think we are innocent ? The bragging 
Pharisee was a hypocrite, praying at the corners of the streets, 
paying tithes of mint, and anise, and cumin, articles that 
didn't cost anything, while he neglected the weightier matters 
of the law, having all the form and none of the substance of 
righteousness. He consequently was lying, and knew that he 



216 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

was lying, whenever he intimated by acts, or said in words, 
" I am good." 

Now you will admit that lying is wrong. Well, is it any 
more a lie for a guilty person to assert his innocence than 
for an innocent person to assert his guilt? Paul says, 
<^ think soberly and righteously j" that is, correctly. 

I press the argument upon this point, because, while this 
fashionahle humility is a mere mask and plaything of the de- 
ceitful and the self-conceited, it presses heavily upon the hearts 
of the honest and modest. The former claim, amid their 
whines and groans, more than they deserve. The latter are 
afraid to claim anything. From the souls of the last my 
doctrine lifts the ponderous incubus. 

Your second question will be, where did you learn this 
doctrine, that God will pay ? I learned it from the inner 
light, that lighteneth every man who cometh into the world ; 
from the pure reason that sits supreme above the other mental 
faculties, and which, though sometimes obscured by the misty 
and labyrinthine theories spun by its subordinates, always 
shines brightly and sees rightly. I not only learned it from 
this ethereal spark breathed into Adam, this God in man, from 
which there is no appeal, but also from the Bible. " Blessed 
are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted." *' I reckon 
that the sufferings of this present world are not worthy to be 
compared with the glory which shall be revealed." The 
mighty poet. Job, suffered, being innocent, and God paid him. 
Hoping this response to the gloomy portion of your letter 
will accomplish its design, and enable you to fight the battle 
of martyrdom not only heroically but cheerfully, I turn my 



OR; HEART WHISPERS. 217 

thouglits from your pale, sweet fiice to tlie lovely little washer- 
woman, and the beautiful story-teller, that " lays'' everything 
she does wrong on " Anny." 

How completely I can realize the scene ! Emily goes off 
on an errand, Alice to get her lesson, and you become absorbed 
in writing. The idea of washing suggests itself to Anna. She 
gets the basin, and begins with some old rag. Nellie ^' pitches 
in," and is not particular what she puts in the water. The 
idea becomes a passion with Anna, and she no longer hesitates 
to wash anything in reach. And thus they both proceed to 
pull down and wash, sometimes the floor and sometimes the 
clothes. Presently the basin is turned over. You are aroused, 
look around and find the room a pool, and half the things in 
it bedabbled. You speak; Anna looks frightened. But '^the 
brat of beauty," with the calmness of real innocence, and with 
as honest a countenance as was ever placed in front of a human 
head, looks straight at you, and says, ^' 'Twas Anuy." The 
condensation and boldness of this denial and accusation, the 
grace of her position, as with a wet garment in her hands she 
turns her beaming face upon you, does the work. You kiss 
her, and let " Anny" oif. 

It seems a pity, that the radiance of Paradise should begin 
to disappear from childhood just so soon as it tastes the apple 
that contains the knowledge of good and evil. Children are 
sweet, if females, and properly managed through all the stages 
of youth. But from one to five years of age is the period in 
which Heaven itself seems to me to dwell in and about them. 
I shrink from the idea of Anna's passing out of this delectable 
epoch. The baby has several years yet to revel therein, and 
19 



218 A PEEP EEIIIXD THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

intoxicate with her loveliness her admiring father, Alice, 
who made us happy so long by her childish sweetness, must 
tiot be forgotten. I almost wish she was still young enough 
to be a little washerwoman or a little story-teller. But this 
cannot be. She must now make us happy by honouring and 
obeying us, and setting a good example — an example of truth- 
fulness, patience, and industry — to those young imitators that 
watch the older ones so closely. I am afraid I have done her, 
and may do those small chaps, an injury by being so childish a 
companion when I am with them. Teach Alice the motto my 
father taught me : ^' Seriousness and solid happiness are 
inseparable.^' Teach her that jokes, amusements, sight-seeing, 
&c., must be merely the recesses, the playtimes, the recrea- 
tions of the happy soul ; that making a business of these things 
is idleness, and leads to misery. Kiss them all for me. Ee- 
member me to M. and the servants. 

Your affectionate husband, 

William Atson. 



HEART WHISPERS. 219 



LETTER XXXI. 

Miss Molly Murray and Henry Clay. — The praises of his foes.— The injus- 
tice of his friends. — Comparison of Clay, Webster, and Calhoun. — Clay's 
only superior. — The meeting between Clay, and his only equal. — The 
Author determines how to vote. 

Cheraw, S. C, July 20, 18—. 

Dear Molly ; — Since mailing my last letter, I liave visited 
tbe villages of Winnsboro, Kingsville, Camden, Lancaster, Dar- 
lington, and Clieraw ; besides passing tbrougb many otber 
towns with names, a grocery, and but little else. Your 
gloomy epistle led me out of tbe patb of journalism, to which 
I now return. 

I had begun to tell of reading the life of Clay, and this 
landed me in the days of the maidenhood of Miss Molly 
Murray. If I recollect aright, I designed to talk of the old 
statesman who was slandered by his enemies, while living, 
and is suffering from the hands of his friends, now that he is 
dead. 

All praise him. Foes outdo friends in panegyrics upon 
him, whom their lies defrauded of the presidency. Perhaps 
it is Penitence seeking this mode of restitution, which gives 
such pathos to their eloquence. Even now all parties are in- 



220 A PEEP EEHIXD THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

yoking liis name and liis sayings, to rally his old partisans to 
their respective standards ; and that name is mighty and will 
prevail. His true-hearted disciples know his voice. The in- 
justice done him is by the Everetts and Choates of the North, 
who speak from so lofty an altitude that the Union listens ; 
and whose speeches are calculated to produce the impression 
that Webster was a greater man than Clay. 

This is not only not so, but the fact is that the former, 
mighty as he was, is second-rate compared with the latter. 
Clay was an agile giant, walking ahead in the rough and un- 
trodden path of American statesmanship — felling the trees, 
bridging the larger streams, removing the smaller obstruc- 
tions, leaping the ravines, and moving with apparent careless- 
ness but chamois step and eagle eye, over the rocks and along 
the jagged edges of the precipices, carrying upon his shoulder 
the lever of political truth, and '^ blazing out" with his hatchet 
for the benefit of future travellers the way over which he 
journeyed. In this way, following with ponderous step — 
leaving his foot-prints even in the rocks, and making the road 
still plainer by his skilful workmanship — the giant Webster 
occasionally overtook the giant Clay, struggling to remove 
some obstacle too great for himself alone, and putting his 
shoulder to the lever, with equal strength aided in removing 
it. This illustration o-ives the whole difference between these 
great patriots. 

Calhoun, the other member of the triumvirate of talent, 
cannot bear a comparison with either. His power of expres- 
sion was unsurpassed. His mind was quick and strong; but 
it was narrow, and ronf^equenilf/ he was an ultraist. And 



OR; HEART WHISPERS. 221 

though a sincere, ardent Southern and pro-slavery man, he 
may be justly considered the great abolition breeder — the ex- 
citing cause and main author of that anti-davery party which 
elected Banks, and now threatens to dissolve the Union. 

Adam never had but one son superior to Henry Clay. The 
world knows who he was. Clay, never in all his long public 
and eventful life met but one equal; and that was in a little 
private room, in a hotel at the Capital, when the dying states- 
man, in his last speech, taught the doctrine of George Wash- 
ington to Louis Kossuth. 

I like to think and write about these men. I love them 
with no common love. My affection for the great and good, 
the incomparable Washington, is precisely the same as that 
for my own good father. The remembrance of these two 
strikes the same chord, and makes the same music in my soul. 
Reminiscences of the others arouse similar emotions, only not 
quite so deep and potent. 

Although Mr. Clay and myself interchanged views on an 
interesting topic, and I have seen him in Washington and 
New Orleans, I never sought a personal introduction. I 
always hesitated to approach great men in the zenith of their 
power. I can't bear even the appearance of sycophancy. It 
would, however, do my very soul good, quietly and privately 
now in the hour of his poverty and gloom, forgotten and 
libelled by the world, to take Kossuth by the hand, look him 
in the eye, and say to him in that tone the sincerity of which 
no one, whether acquaintance or stranger, has ever seemed to 
doubt : ^' I love you. If it would aid your cause, I would die 
for it. Do not be discouraged; God makes such men as you 
19* 



222 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

only for some great purpose, and your destiny will be accom- 
plished/' 

Wishing to crowd my carpet-bag with no unnecessary lug- 
gage, I send back per mail this Life of Clay. I prize it highly, 
because it is so suitable for reference — touching just enough 
upon the main incidents of his history to refresh completely 
the memory of one who has been conversant with it. A 
glance at it will interest you. The funeral eulogies, and 
the funeral sermon — that exquisite gem of pulpit eloquence 
by 13utler, whose manner and mournful tones I once de- 
scribed to you — will certainly thrill your bosom with emotions 
incompatible with misery or melancholy. Clay's shorter 
speeches, and the extracts from those more lengthy, will as 
certainly elicit your admiration ; whilst the descriptions of the 
triumphal marches of the citizen-statesman, amid the shouts 
of brave men and the smiles of fair women, will convey you 
back to the periods when health moved in your step and 
beamed in your countenance ; when curls hung gracefully be- 
side the fair brow, and the beaux were around listening to 
your soft womanly voice, and looking admiringly at that face 
which all of us failed to convince you was more than ordina- 
rily beautiful ; when at Jackson, with old Clay in the room, 
you modestly sought retirement in the mazes of the dance, 
whilst uglier and more impudent women were turning up theu- 
painted cheeks, or their old lips, to be kissed by '^ the observed 
of all observers," who, though not very fastidious, doubtless 
had some taste ; when the silvery tones of Mississippi's magic 
orator, S. S. Prentiss, the friend and admirer of ^'the Man of 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 223 

the Age/' distilled its melody into your ears, and rallied to his 
standard hosts of our countrymen. 

Speaking of Clay and Prentiss brings me back to politics. 
Two weeks ago I wrote you I was doubtful whom I should vote 
for. Since then I have read and thought; and Fillmore has 
spoken. The result is that I shall not only " go for him, but 
go for him" enthusiastically. Tell M., if disposed to vote 
for Buchanan, not to commit himself till he sees or hears 
from me. 

I will be in Wilmington in a week, where I hope to receive 
letters. I wrote you to start a letter for me to Raleigh, N. C, 
the 30th of this month; and to telegraph me there the 7th or 
8th of next month. Direct to the care of H. and M. Kiss 
the children for me, and tell the servants " howdy." 

Hoping that you are all well, I shall go cheerfully onT 
Yours affectionately, 

William Atson. 



224 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN J 



LETTER XXXII. 

Bashfulness . — Irritability. — Democracy. — Travels. — Clay. — Letter from 
home. — Children. — Sunday-School. — South Carolina. — Politics. — A Dis- 
unionist. — The Union. — Kansas. — Two strange sights. — Stage trip to 
Goldsboro. 

Fayetteville, N. C, July 26, 18—. 
My Dear Wife : — Nothing astonislies me so much about 
myself, as the contrast between the caution and timidity with 
which I approach men, and the fiery boldness so easily aroused 
after the approach is made. Although I introduce myself 
daili/ to numbers, talk at the hotel and on the cars to ladies 
and gentlemen — saying pretty much what I please, and am 
almost universally treated well in return — I cannot approach 
them otherwise than with a cautious timidity. This I think 
imparts a gentleness to my manners, which is one cause of my 
being so well received. Forwardness engenders repulsiveness. 
Now I do not mean to say there is any apparent embarrass- 
ment or bashfulness about me. I want my children to under- 
stand, that bashfulness and modesty are two totally different 
things. A modest person may or may not be bashful ; and a 
bashful person may be very immodest. To tell the naked 
truth, I dislike bashfulness exceedingly. It is disagreeable in 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 225 

a ten year old child, and totally inexcusable in an intelligent 
or travelled man or woman. What I experience is doubtless 
not visible in my calm, nonchalant manners. It is merely an 
innate emotion, based upon the knowledge of the ease with 
which my feehngs are wounded and my indignation excited ; 
and the fear that my approach to yon stranger will strike him 
or her, as abrupt or inappropriate, and cause me a rebuflf. 

Of this foreboding I will never be able to divest myself. It 
does not decrease one particle. In fact I feel it more sensibly 
than when I first began this business, owing probably to the 
excitement caused by its novelty at the beginning. My wife 
will doubtless add, and "You will never cease manifesting 
your easily aroused indignation.'' 

You are right, I presume. A manifestation of it just now, 
led me into this course of remark. I walked into the sitting- 
room of the hotel, and concluded, as the dining hour had 
nearly arrived, to sit there and look over the papers. A gen- 
tleman said, he understood Mississippi would vote for Fill- 
more. I replied pleasantly, and rather timidly, that I lived 
near the line, and could not think such a repudiating state 
would vote for so honest and so clever a man, but thought 
Tennessee would. 

Several had something to say on the subject; and as none 
spoke but Democrats, I supposed all in the room worshipped 
the idol Democracy. One gentleman led the conversation in 
rather an overbearing dogmatic tone, and finally made a remark 
slanderous of Harry of the West. Feeling that I was a 
stranger alone in a strange place, and in a crowd of excited and 
bigoted politicians, I could not resist the impulse of my nature 



226 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

to let my eye burn, and my voice assume the mild, compressed 
tone indicative of indignation and defiance, as I spoke of the 
venerable sage. 

I soon found, however, that the crowd was on my side ; and 
by the time I made this discovery, which would have rendered 
me good-humoured, forgiving, and harmless, the offender had 
decamped. 

Since writing you from Cheraw, a few days ago, I have 
been to Bennettsville in S. C, Wadesboro, Rockingham, Wil- 
mington, and this place — having travelled ninety miles on a 
little, lame, old, one-eyed, flea-bitten steed ; one hundred and 
fifty miles in the cars ; and one hundred and twenty by 
water, in small steamboats similar in size and construction to 
those summer boats horses pull up and down the bayous of 
Louisiana, when the Mississippi ceases to pour water into 
them. 

At Wilmington I received your very interesting letter. Its 
cheerfulness did please, and would have delighted me, had it 
been recently written. It however lacked two days of being 
a month old. Notwithstanding its age, I read and re-read it. 
I was much gratified at your taking the children to the con- 
cert, and the picnic ; not only on their account, but also on 
yours. Humanly considered, it seems a hard case that one 
so cheerfully disposed, so hopeful, so capable of enjoying the 
good things of earth, the interesting and the beautiful in 
Nature and in Art, should be so worn by the depressing influx 
ences of physical ailments. 

Perhaps you have mistaken your case. May be you are 
labouring under a moral ailment. Brownlow, in his reply to 



I 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 227 

" The Iron Wliecl" of Graves, says, a sister was received into 
tlie Baptist Church, upon the following experience : — 

^^ I attended the preaching of Elder Riggs, afterwards suf- 
fered with distressing sick stomach, felt that I was a sinnery 
vomited freely, and gradually got better, feeling that my load 
of sin was removed." 

You have been attending the preaching of Elder Muggins, 
and if you can manage to vomit up your load, it may relieve 
you, and remove my uneasiness. The tenor of your last letter 
was so cheerful, and you had been flying around at such an 
unusual rate, for your stay-at-home-self, that I had a dim 
hope you had already done so, and was prepared for admission 
at least among " the Hard Sides." 

I am glad that you have taken the children to Sunday 
school, and hope you will be able to continue doing so. Does 
the sweet Anna learn anything ? And how does the beautiful 
*' Spectator" behave ? Can she keep those active limbs still ? 
Can she keep that little tongue silent? I can but heave a 
sigh to think that Anna is almost, and that Alice is too old to 
write about in this way. Give the little ladies a kiss for their 
distant father. 

On entering the state of South Carolina I thought of the 
difference of her politics and mine, not simply the difference 
between a conservative Whig and a Tennessee Democrat, but 
the difference between a conservative Whig, and an excitable, 
fire-eating, ultra pro-slavery Calhoun Democrat, and I deter- 
mined to be prudent, but firm and bold — bold as a freeman is 
in duty bound to be. This state is so one-sided that politics 
are rarely mentioned. Therefore, it was easy for me to escape 



228 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

peacefully and honourably, but sometimes, by way of saying 
something, and feeling the pulse of the South Carolinian, I 
would introduce the subject. I was then hesitating who to 
vote for, but expressed my love and admiration for Fillmore. 

At N. I became acquainted with the President of the Bank. 
He is one of those men, who believes what he does believe, 
and is not afraid to express his opinion. Well, he thinks, 
both for peace sake and as a matter of good policy, the Union 
should be dissolved; that the Conservative is the dangerous 
party, and that it would have been better for our country, if 
Clay, however good his intentions, had been hung before he 
became the author of a compromise, and if all such politicians 
as Fillmore had never been born ; and so expressed himself. 
In earlier life I could not have endured these remarks, although 
the speaker might have previously treated me, as this one 
had, with that practical politeness which is so grateful to the 
stranger's heart. Now, however, I relished them. 

I know a great many great men, as well as the people, 
almost unanimously believe the Union now shaking to its 
centre. But I have never had any great fear of its dissolu- 
tion, since in 1847, 1 considered the politics of the Mississippi 
river, and its great northern branches. God, I have no doubt, 
started this great stream high in the North, and dug its channel 
through the South, and emptied into it the Missouri, the Ohio, 
and their and its smaller tributaries, because He foresaw the 
Union, and wished to cement it by making the northern, the 
stronger section, numerically and commercially, dependent 
upon the South, the weaker section in these particulars, for 
the main outlet for its commerce. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 229 

Not only has He done tliis, but He has also made this 
politically weaker section not only agriculturally, but, if she 
chooses to be so, commercially independent. 

The South can literally live, and live comfortably at home. 
The North cannot. While patriotism and interest combine to 
induce the South to cling to the North, interest alone, even 
though she were utterly destitute of patriotism, would force 
the North to preserve the Union — and she has the power to 
do it. 

Again, railroads have come, and are coming to the help of 
these streams. Their politics are the same. Both together 
will make us a condensed and acquainted community. This 
consummation is rapidly approaching, and when it arrives 
politicians will have to resort to other than sectional issues to 
stir up excitements, by which to get their names in the papers, 
or ride into ofl&ce, and reap the spoils. 

The Kansas difficulty is the last we will have to settle. If 
we annex Canada and the balance of the North of North Ame- 
rica, the South will not be sufficiently silly to try to make 
slave states away up there, where she knows negro slavery 
cannot possibly exist. If we annex the southern portion of 
the continent abolition fuss will not prevent the darkies from 
going away down there ; for the calculating Yankee neither 
desires civil war nor disunion, and who so fond of black slaves 
as the Northern abolitionist, when he moves to, or is interested 
in a region where their labour pays ? 

But will we adjust the Kansas difficulty? Certainly, I 
should not despair of an honourable adjustment even though 
Fremont were elected. The North, not the fussy, excitable, 
20 



230 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

fanatical, tend-to-other-people's-business North, not the trea- 
cherous, political, higher-law North, but the quiet, respecta- 
ble, sensible, patriotic, commercial, tend-to-their-own business 
North, would not permit the South to be driven from the Union, 
simply because her politicians, mistaking the hubbub of ultra- 
ism for the voice of the people, were too cowardly to agree 
that, the Missouri compromise having been by them repealed, 
the bona fide inhabitants of the territory of Kansas will have 
a right to decide for themselves, whether they will have white 
or. black slavery. 

But Fremont cannot be elected. Certainly Buchanan and 
Fillmore together will get the vote of two or three states north 
of Mason & Dixon's line, and he will as certainly not get the 
vote of one south of it. If the election be thrown into the 
House, the South will undoubtedly unite on one of these two 
conservative men, and the Southern states, with the aid of 
only one Northern state, can elect the President. I had 
written to the last paragraph before I thought of the absurdity 
of what I was doing. Were you not aware that, like an 
Italian improvisatore, I have no more idea when beginning to 
write, of the details of what I will write, than the man in the 
moon ? I should deem an apology due you for thus diverging 
into politics. 

What I intended to say was merely this, that, in leaving 
N., I said to the president of the bank, " I have travelled so 
much that when asked if I have seen such and such a thing 
I frequently reply, I do not recollect, but presume I have. 
In your village, however, I have seen two things I never saw 
before. One is that Daguerrean gallery in a car on wagon 



231 

wheels out tliere in the square. The other is an open, 
avowed, unconditional Pisunionist. And what is very singu- 
lar, this Disunionist seems to be a very clever fellow." He 
smiled, and bade me an affectionate adieu, remarking that I 
would find a great many such as he in that state. 

Now it was not singular that he was a clever man ; nor would 
it surprise me to meet with a clever Abolitionist. These 
classes, or rather this class, for thei/ are the same germs, the 
only difference being in their geographical position, are gene- 
rally bold, honest, narrow-headed men, mistakingly trying to 
do what they believe to be right. They fight boldly, and 
fairly ; and Conservatism knows how and where to meet them. 
TJie men I despise are those, icho have the same ohjects in 
view, but attempt to accomplish them by indirection and 
hypocrisy, thereby deceiving the unsuspecting and leading 
them blindfold towards the vortex of disunion. 

One reason why I dislike Democracy so much is, because 
she deliberately, for the sake of their votes and influence, 
invites these " villains of the baser sort" to her arms, nurses 
them in her bosom, and feeds them with the offices of the 
land they are endeavouring to rend in twain. Did the traitors, 
who convened at Nashville, lose their influence with Demo- 
cracy ? Did not this political Jesuit, in the last National 
Convention, while swearing fidelity to the South, receive the 
freesoil " Softs," of New York, with friendly grasp, and allow 
them to decide upon her candidate for the Presidency ? Is 
she not now — but I am going again into a political tirade, and 
must for your sake stop. 

30th. Finding I was on the last half of my second sheet, 



232 

not wishing to begin on another, as I would be certain to 
finish it, having just mailed you Clay's Life, being about to 
mail you Harper for August ; and a week not having elapsed 
since I wrote to you, I determined to travel a little more be- 
fore starting this on its long journey. I am now at Goldsboro, 
N. G.J having passed through and stopped at Clinton, Warsaw, 
Kenansville, and Stricklandsville. This trip I have made 
mostly by stage. 

The crops, so flourishing a few weeks ago, are being ruined 
by the want of rain. The thermometer, day before yesterday, 
was said to have risen to 104° in the shade; and the dust, 
the only thing, except chinches, which makes me groan, fol- 
lows and surrounds me like the atmosphere, when the stage 
or the car moves. It does not, however, take me long to get 
used to anything; and even this trouble has almost ceased to 
annoy me. I see but little fruit. The table is rarely bur- 
thened even with roasting ears. I see, by fancy, and the 
sight aflfords me pleasure, you, and especially the children, 
feasting now upon the* corn-puddings; and then on water- 
melons and musk-melons and apples and peaches. I hope you 
are all sufficiently well to enjoy them. Kiss the brats, and 
tell them not to kill themselves eating. Their pa wants to see 
them once more. Remember me to M. I should not know 
but that he was dead, or had run off, had he not directed your 
last letter. Do not fail to tell the servants how much I think 
of them, and how grateful I am for their good conduct. You 
are " getting so well,'' I must begin to " take back" all those 
compliments I have been paying you. 

Yours, 

William Atson. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 233 



LETTER XXXIII. 

John Rampsay and woman. — His resemblance to a certain Congressman, — 
Two trips with ladies. — Reasons for not kissing one. — Meets with a 
handsome woman. — A sanguine man. — Georgia. — South Carolina. — 
North Carolina. — An unhappy negro. — Slavery. — A summary of my 
Bight-seeings. — How a family should treat a quarrelsome member. 

July 3, 1856, Weldon, N. C. 

Dear Molly : — I believe I had gotten back in my last to 
the Disunionist in N., S. C. After leaving there, I visited 
several villages, and finally arrived at Greenville ; where, as I 
before told you, I hired a driver and buggy to take me across 
the country. 

My driver was a rich case. He had been everything in the 
lower walks of life, from pedlar to grog-shop-keeper. He had 
travelled everywhere, and seen everything. Though deficient 
in book education, his associations and travels had taught him 
a great deal ; and, being possessed of a sprightly and observant 
mind, and a glib tongue, he talked well, and talked all the 
time. Ten hours a day, for four days, did not exhaust his 
stock of small talk. It was plentiful and running over to the 
last. He was decidedly the most interesting and inexhaustible 
yarn-spinner I ever journeyed with. His yarns were never 
long or tedious. They were simply numerous. 
20* 



234 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

His subject was almost invariably himself or woman. There 
was, however, no disagreeable egotism about him. He figured 
extensively and principally in every adventure — but this you 
discovered after the story was told. During its recital, the 
hero, with a natural skill, of which he was totally unaware, 
made his position appear subordinate. 

In addition, he only lacked ease and polish in appearance 
and manners, to have caused him to be regarded by all as fine- 
looking. Unpolished country-girls would doubtless have con- 
sidered him such. His black hair, dark eyes, fine complexion, 
and regular features would have justified their opinion. Ac- 
cording to his own story, he could lead these captive at his 
will. He said he played finely on the fiddle; and, when 
everything else failed, he thought, with a fair chance, he could 
" cut out'' any rival, and throw any lass into fits, by a resort 
to its thrilling tones. 

I think he was good-hearted, according to the usual accepta- 
tion of that much wronged term; and honest, according to 
his ideas of honesty. This opinion, combined with the de- 
tailed circumstantiality of his yarns, led me to believe they 
were mainly true. His inferences from them, however, were 
such as I considered not only erroneous, but insulting to both 
the sexes ; and you may rest assured that I good-humouredly 
roasted him. 

While his thoughts ran upon woman and the Devil, mine 
oscillated from woman to God. His woman was an animal 
like himself. My woman was as pure and ethereal compared 
with myself, as an angel might be compared with her. He 
was as incapable of understanding or appreciating the not unit- 



OR; HEART WHISPERS. 235 

sual purity of a Lucretia, a Penelope, a Rebecca, as I would 
be of a just conception of a spirit effulgent witb the radiance 
of heaven. 

Such was John Rampsay. His condition is the legitimate 
result of his education. He has been educated by association 
and circumstances ; and these were mostly unfavourable to his 
proper moral and mental development. 

Similar to him are thousands whom I have met as equals, 
and whose associations and education have been apparently 
different from, and apparently superior to his. Weak wretches 
they are, whose intolerable vanity would prevent them from 
ever learning, that the woman who yields unlawfully to their 
peculiar attractions, is an exception to, and a stain upon, her 
sex; an unholy, unclean, God-forsaken reprobate, who will 
find anywhere other men equally vain and equally attractive. 

I like Rampsay. I actually remember him with affection. 
He is not particularly to blame for his errors and faults. At 
least I am not the one to judge him. I think it highly prob- 
able that similar associations and influences would have made 
me much worse than he. The resemblance naturally between 
him and the Hon. R. T., both physically and mentally, was 
very striking. Look at the difference in the results. The 
one is a pure-minded, noble-hearted. Christian Congressman. 
The other is a hireling at a livery-stable, and, in other respects, 
such as I have described. In the sight of God, does T. de- 
serve any more credit for being so good, than Rampsay does 
for being no worse ? The response to the simple question, 
which has tried most faithfully to live according to the light 
within him, will decide their respective moral merits. 



236 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

From Camden to Lancaster, a distance of thirty-eight miles, 
I travelled alone with Mrs, Greaves. She was a sweet and 
interesting woman — so sweet and interesting, that, fastidious 
as I am on that subject, I believe I would have been willing 
to have kissed her. I had, however, several reasons for not 
perpetrating this act: — 1. I am such a good Tiusbandy I 
wouldn't even be guilty of the appearance of disloyalty to my 
sweet wife. 2. I was afraid the driver would see me and tell 
Greaves. 3. I didn't think Mrs. G. would let me. 

You say I converse well, when I am talking of what I am 
thinking about. "Well, I can assure you I thought of what I 
was saying when seated beside this lady. So, you may reason- 
ably infer, that I made myself quite agreeable. Mrs. Greaves 
was not beautiful. She reminded me of Mrs. S., before asso- 
ciation with "high fliers," and the success of her strong- 
minded husband, had somewhat crazed her weaker intellect, 
tainted her heart, vitiated her taste, and tinged with affectation 
her once plain and simple manners. 

We, however, had to part; and men again became for a 
time my sole companions. The other day I took another stage- 
ride with a lady and her daughter. They were from Canada, 
and in favour of the English government. I took occasion to 
speak of the probable annexation, not only of the Canadas, 
but also of Great Britain to the Union. The fact of their 
having attended a ball was mentioned. I very solemnly in- 
formed them, that at least three of the orthodox churches 
thought dancing a sin ; and inquired if they were not afraid 
of going to " the bad place ?" The little girl, about the age 
of Alice, was desperately opposed to slavery. I offered to bet 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 23"/ 

her she would soon be in love with a southern boj, and re- 
quested her to write to me when she married a slaveholder. 

The mother seemed to enjoy my efforts to pique them into 
conversation; but, notwithstanding her calmness, and hints, 
the daughter could scarcely keep her temper. In this way we 
killed three hours, and mitigated the sufferings arising from 
the hot and dusty atmosphere. 

At Kenansville I left them; where, forced to desert a 
drunken husband and father, they remained; the mother to 
see if she can make enough by millinery to support both, and 
educate the child. Which would you prefer, your present 
health and position, or uninterrupted good health, and be a 
wanderer from home and husband, seeking a support among 
strangers for yourself and little ones ? 

I had determined to write you that I was in as bad a fix as 
when, after roaming about Cincinnati for ten long days, with- 
out finding a pretty woman, I rushed to my boarding-house, 
and requested my friend H., from Memphis, to persuade his 
convalescing wife to dress up, and let me take a good look at 
her. But, just as despair was taking possession of my heart, 
a vision of beauty sat in the cars before me. She was a 
unique, a dashy-looking woman. One of those sort that 
ear-rings and fantastic arrangements of the hair become. She 
was rather above the medium height, and her form was finely 
proportioned. Her head sat like yours, upon a neck with a 
swan-like curve. Her hair was glossy and black ; her eyes 
jet black and bright; her complexion a clear brunette. Her 
chin and nose indicated unconquerable firmness. Intelligence 
lit up the whole face. Her voice was soft and silvery. If this 



238 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

woman could shrink into a modest, sensitive, timid-looking, 
but determined girl, she would be a fac simile of Alice E. If 
Alice could be exhilarated into a sparkling magnificence of 
expression and manner, she would be a fac simile of this 
woman. Fortune seated her directly facing me, and I drank 
in the effervescence, the champagne of her beauty for one 
glorious half hour. 

As you may be tired hearing of the women, I will talk 
again about the men, though I would just as soon talk about 
alligators. A stranger from Georgia was commenting, as we 
journeyed in the cars, on the appearance of the South Carolina 
crops, and the poverty of her soil. I remarked that Georgia 
contained more poor land than any Southern state 1 had yet 
travelled through. He expressed great astonishment — said he 
lived not far from Savannah, where the planters " made'' from 
seventy-five to one hundred bushels of corn, and sometimes 
SIX hundred bushels of sweet potatoes to the acre. I replied, 
that I had never been in his part of the state. This gentle- 
man had a florid complexion, his hair was reddish, and his 
moustache and beard — he didn't shave — were of the same 
colour. His appearance and conversation led me to the con- 
clusion that his was the sanguine temperament. 

The truth is, however, that the only mode of argument, by 
which South Carolina can sustain the position that she pos- 
sesses the greatest proportionate quantity of fertile soil, is by 
assuming that Georgia got over the line from Augusta to 
Savannah, and pushed her sand and planted her pines all the 
way to Charleston. The maintenance of this assumption would 
relieve her of one-fourth, and the poorest portion, of her ter* 



239 

ritory. The other three-fourths, in which there is a conten- 
tion between the pines and the oaks, first one and then the 
other predominating, is sufficiently poor, but I think the 
quality of its soil would compare favourably with that of its 
poor rival. 

When conversing with the gentleman of the sanguine tem- 
perament, I was in, but had not travelled through. South 
Carolina. I have since done so, and am now fairly in the old 
North State, the land of tar and turpentine, of persimmons 
and herrings. 

I was riding the other day in a buggy, with an old negro, 
from Clinton to Warsaw, and said to him, ''Uncle, I live 
where there is no sand, no rocks, no pines/' I could name 
nothing that would be so new to you as the idea of such a 
country was to him. ''Master," said he, "I want to go 
thar.^' 

Talking about this darkey, reminds me of being driven from 
Tarboro to Rocky Mound by an unliappy negro. This is a 
phenomenon you have probably never seen. The fellow was 
a shoemaker, and quite intelligent. I told him how much I 
had travelled, how conversant I was with all classes of people, 
and how I had learned from these travels, and this association, 
that happiness was in the heart, and resulted, not from ex- 
ternal circumstances, but from a belief in God and earnest 
effort to do right, which belief and effort would produce con- 
tentment ; how God had so wisely arranged it that each class 
could be as happy as the other, and how my experience led 
me to believe that if any one class was happier than the others 
it was the black class of the South. I then explained to him 



240 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

how I could not now at my age be made a happy slave, and 
how, upon the same principle, it would he impossible for him 
to be a happy freeman. 

I told him also how he had become unhappy — that he was 
a mechanic, and had opportunities to make money, and that I 
had observed, when a slave was allowed to contract the habit 
of making money, he generally became as miserable and as 
rascally as a white man ; that he himself was half free, and a 
state of half freedom, unless regulated by proper principles, 
combined the disadvantages of both, adding the cares of free- 
dom to the chains of slavery, and rendering these chains 
visible and galling. The different states of the Union, I said 
to him in illustration of this point, are like the different classes 
of people. Everything considered, they are about on a par. 
The country we are riding through is poor, so are Georgia and 
South Carolina, yet their inhabitants '^get along'' just as well 
as those of Louisiana, where the soil is fertile and inexhaustible. 

The darkey argued well — as well as an Abolitionist could. 
He alluded to the separation of children and parents, husbands 
and wives. I admitted that unnecessary separations were 
wrong, and should be corrected by law, but defied him, from 
all the thousands of negro families he had known, to mention 
or think of ten cases of such separations. He admitted, that 
though he had belonged to three masters, two of them had 
treated him well. The other he had disliked before he was 
bought by him, and ran away without provocation, in order to 
force the latter to sell him. I called his attention to the 
miseries of the whites, the miserable loafers, the miserable 
husbands and wives he had known, &c., &c. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 241 

He finally began " to cave in/' halfway acknowledged that 
he had been somewhat rascally, and at last concluded it 
was not slavery but his health, which had been delicate for 
some time, that caused his unhappiness. I hope my remarks 
let a ray of light into his head which will mitigate or dispel 
the gloom of his heart. 

But, to bring this tiresome scroll to a close, I will condense 
my travels and sight-seeing into a few sentences. 

I have been on revolutionary ground. I was at Charlotte, 
N. C, where our forefathers read and published the first 
Declaration of Independence, and where a part of the old 
house in which Cornwallis had his head-quarters still stands. 

I have been to the lovely village of Camden, where, in front 
of a neat little church, a beautiful monument tells the passer- 
by of the brave De Kalb ; and saw, a few miles distant, the 
hole in which, after the battle, the British buried their dead. 
I passed a dwelling-house, whose owner was so silly as to front 
it to the east, and then cut out an avenue exactly its width to 
the public road, that it might be seen therefrom. It was a 
hot morning, and he was getting his reward; for the sun 
poured his heated rays horizontally through all the front 
windows. 

I have seen good corn and good cotton growing out of sand, 
shaded by the bare trunks of the murdered pines ; and, within 
two weeks, heard planters grumbling at the rain and overflow, 
and then at the heat and drought. 

I stayed in a town where it was said the chinches could 
jump two feet, and that two fleas could turn a man over. The 
21 



242 A PEEP EEilIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

chinch tale is rather fishy, but that about the fleas looks rea- 
sonable. Can Alice explain it? 

I have seen families, who thought themselves genteel, allow 
dogs to stay in the house and hogs in the yard. 

I have eaten some egg-pie. This pie is made by baking the 
unmixed, unadulterated eggs between pastry. 

More remarkable still — now I am going to struggle up step 
by step to a Demosthenean climax — I have visited " a county 
seat'' where no lawyer resided, and a village where there was 
no physician ; have passed a lady who didn't stare me out of 
countenance, and been in a little citi/^ whose inhabitants were 
not puffed up, and had some politeness. 

This is a long letter, and yet I have expressed none of the 
thoughts which were uppermost — having written as you say I 
sometimes talk — and thus trifled over seven pages of foolscap, 
while my mind has been dwelling upon home and the weighty 
responsibilities connected therewith. 

On my arrival here yesterday afternoon, I received letters 
from Smith & Co., Mrs. B. (the aunt who raised me), and 
yourself. 

Smith's was in reply to one from me. It was long and 
kind, but virtually declines my propositions, and thereby un- 
settles all my business plans. 

I wrote my aunt, notwithstanding her unnatural conduct, 
quite an affectionate letter. Her reply has well nigh broken 
the last link between us, and almost extinguished the last pale 
hope of reconciliation that shivered at my heart. Do not dis- 

* Wilmington. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 243 

CUSS this matter, or anything connected with it, loltli any one^ 
if you have any respect for me. The members of a family who 
abuse, not the abused members, are those who suffer in public 
estimation. I have done my duty; you have done yours. 
Neither has any cause to regret any portion of their conduct. 
I am your protector by law and affection ; and I think I know 
how to protect you in this case, and have the firmness to do it. 

Your ten pages of letters, directed and forwarded here, 
were a great treat, notwithstanding the depressing tendency 
of the other two. 

Just after mailing my last letter, I stepped into the cars, 
and was greeted by Doctor B. I had not seen a Memphis 
man for six weeks, and the latest news from home was a month 
old. Have you never been sitting in a dark room, unconscious 
of depression or gloom, till the sudden sunlight exhilarated 
you ? Such was the effect on me of the Doctor's appearance. 

Kiss the children for me. How dear they become when 
the prospect darkens ! 

Yours, affectionately, 

William Atson. 



244 



LETTER XXXrV. 

Danville. — Weldon. — Murfreesborough. — Doctor Hankins and his mixture^ 
— Warrenton. — Henderson. — Raleigh. — Letters from home. — The author, 
— His talents. — His children, &c. — J., of Memphis. — Politics. 

Dantille, August 17, 18 — . 

My Dear Wife : — I arrived yesterday per stage in this 
flourishing, tobaeco-mannfactiiring; hill-side village, and put 
up at " Williams's Hotel. '^ I am now seated in a neat little 
cosy room. In front of my window is a landscape of high, 
oval hills; divided by ravines, and dotted with cabbage-gardens, 
corn-fields, houses, and green trees. Beneath it is a quietly 
flowing canal, a spring canopied by rocks, a rushing rivulet, 
and '^ Dan River's" broad and shallow stream swiftly gliding 
over its rocky bottom. Almost in reach of me, is a long, 
covered bridge, and near each of its ends is u mill moved by 
water-power. The machinery of the mills at work, and the 
motion of these waters, together or alone, utter incessantly a 
musical dirge. Its effect upon one of my good spirits is very 
soothing, and very pleasant. To-day is Sunday. The mills 
have hushed their organ tones, and the milder music of the 
waters reminds me of " sweet Afton's gentle lay." 

Two weeks ago I was in Weldon, indulging in the luxury 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 245 

of writing to you. This last-named village is remarkable for 
being located in a comparatively rich section near the banks 
of old Roanoke, and at the crossing of sundry railroads ; for 
having two fine hotels, at which an average of one hundred 
and fifty travellers per day take their meals ; and yet remain- 
ing very small, without the prospect of enlarging or improv- 
ing. In poorer sections, above and below, on the same road, 
wayside towns, through which the cars pass rapidly, barely 
allowing an occasional traveller time to get on or off, equal or 
excel it. Goldsboro, similarly situated, and created by similar 
circumstances, i^ vastly larger and promises continuous im- 
provement. The speculators at ^^ Junction City'^* had better 
study this exception to our railroad rules. 

Since leaving Weldon, I have visited many towns in North 
Carolina, of which Murfreesboro, Roxabel, Warrenton, Hen- 
derson, Kaleigh, Graham, Greensboro, Wentworth, and this 
place are the principal. 

jMurfreesboro I remember with pleasure, on account of 
the unusual politeness and sociability of its citizens, and as 
being the terminus of my trip — that is to say, the farthest 
point I expect to be from you and yours. Since leaving there, 
my course, like the star of empire, has been westward, and 
liomewards. 

The object of my visit to W. was mainly to see Doctor 
Hankins, an old and highly respectable physician, an amiable 
and honest man, who really believes that he has " hit upon" 
the eleven ingredients and mixed them in the precise propor- 

* Now called Corinth. 
21* 



246 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN J 

tions to drive the monster '' bowel complaint" from the land. 
He also thinks there is an immense fortune to be derived from 
the sale of his compound. So convinced is he of this fact, 
that he has retired from a lucrative practice, refused ten 
thousand dollars cash for a half interest in it, and designs con- 
verting his little property into money, and investing the whole 
in this enterprise. 

His case excited my deepest sympathy. In less than two 
years, he will, in all probability, be a broken-spirited old man, 
with a helpless family on his hands. 

I do not say this because I think there is not money in 
" The Bowel Mixture. '^ In anything of this kind, good or 
indifferent, skilfully managed, and energetically and persever- 
ingly urged, there is a chance for a fortune. But the men 
who carve fortunes out of such things, are not generally phi- 
lanthropic enthusiasts, who believe in or care about the trans- 
cendent virtue of their panaceas. The very fact of believing 
this, indicates a want of hard, common sense, almost incom- 
patible with success. The discoverer should either be a cold- 
blooded calculator, who cares comparatively little about the 
virtue of his medicine, so ^^ it takes/' or he must find ener- 
getic agents of this sort, who will be faithful to him. 

Doctor Hankins, though a Northerner by birth and educa- 
tion, is as simple and confiding as the Virginia-raised and 
Ginkins-cheated Seaton. It seems that the one-ideaism and 
blind enthusiasm, essential, at least for small discoveries and 
inventions, rarely, if ever, exist in unison with that calm con- 
eiderateness, and power of cool, unbiassed calculation necessary 
to make the invention or discovery pay. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 247 

Another singular fact relating to these philanthropists is, 
that when they reach the moneyed part of their scheme, they 
are more greedy to grasp the dimes than the more habitual 
money-lover. And this hurry and greediness renders them 
crazy, reckless, and, consequently, incompetent to manage the 
very thing they have most at heart. They resemble a weak- 
nerved or weak-minded physician, who cannot, even while in 
his senses, prescribe for himself; or who, instead of rallying 
all his powers, grows faint-hearted and tremulous when his 
wife or child becomes sick, and wavers, and splits the 
difference between what he knows they need, and what some 
other doctor, who is unacquainted with their constitutions or 
habits, thinks they ought to take. 

On Thursday, the 7th, the North Carolina elections for state 
ofl&cers took place. I travelled the most of this day, purposely 
in order to be quiet ; but reached Warrenton in time to see 
a severe shillelah fight between Americans. This, and a battle 
with the bed-bugs, were the only circumstances calculated to 
impress this old town upon my memory, except a discovery 
connected therewith. 

The gentlemen of a marriage-party, composed of grave 
M.D.'s, learned lawyers, honourable judges, had, a short time 
previously, spent a night at the same hotel ; and not only uttered 
no complaint, but recommended it to me. On this point a 
Hooded traveller has to be very guarded, and you know I 
belong to one of the first families of the Old Dominion ; for 
a bed-bug will not bite " common stock." Therefore, they do 
not disturb one man or woman in ten. Therefore, they did 
not disturb the wedding-party. Therefore, I forgive the 



248 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

gentlemen for fooling me into one of the bug-nests. For they 
neither made their families, nor themselves, nor kneio the dif- 
ference in our hlood. 

Henderson, or rather Al/s Hotel in Henderson, will ever 
be memorable as the scene of the great, and, I hope, final bat- 
tle. At four in the morning I blew out my candle for the 
last time ; the bed being stained with the blood, and the room 
filled with the odour of an hundred corpses. I wish the fellow 
who paints pictures for Harper could see me in one of these 
encounters. The picture would doubtless divert the ladies. 

Raleigh is the oasis in which I reposed after the martial 
exploits of the two preceding nights. There also two more of 
your sweet letters met me; and a despatch, which, for the 
first time since my departure, told me ^^ your family is now 
well.'' 

One of the letters was the raciest you have ever written me. 
In it you speak of my transcendent talents — your fear that I 
am wasting them working for S. — and tell me of a certain 
talented editor, who told some one, who told you, that I was 
one of the most gifted men in the Union ; and so courageous, 
that if he was a general, and desired a leader for a forlorn 
hope, he would instantly select me. 

You are paying me ofi", are you, for writing so much about 
that once beautiful face of yours ? Or have I inherited a 
large estate ? and are you playing the same game Aaron did, 
when he said : " Miss Molly, I declare you are as pretty as 
you were when first married ! Ain't Marse William got some 
old clothes you can give me ?" 

With regard to my courage, I admit it. It would be the 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 249 

height of affectation and hypocrisy for me, however scary 
about women and children, to pretend that I was much afraid 
of anything on my own account, except chinches. The only 
mystery about this matter is, that, from boyhood's hour up to 
the present moment, no one, either friend or stranger, has 
ever doubted or demanded proofs of my honour or courage. 
They all seem to take them for granted. 

I do not remember that, in collecting, I have ever been 
called on for my authority to do so. I recollect telling the 
shrewd, energetic, money-loving Duncan, just after moving to 
the Goula, that I owned no property ; that the negroes I con- 
trolled were not mine ; that I was entirely dependent on my 
practice ; didn't know that I would ever get a call ; and if he 
sold me on a credit, he must do so with a full knowledge of 
these facts. He laughed at my persevering particularity, and 
insisted on my buying ad libitum. I recollect the difficulty 
with which Anderson, a prudent attorney, was induced to re- 
lease me, and take two undoubtedly solvent names in place of 
mine, saying, though I was broke, he knew I would pay ; and 
didn't like to exchange my name for that of anybody else. 

I recollect, &c. but scratch out the balance of the sentence, 

because it is too silly and egotistical to write so much about 
myself even to my wife. The thought that demanded expres- 
sion was merely this. It is not singular that any one should 
be honest and courageous; but even admitting myself to be 
so, it has always struck me with astonishment, that everybody 
with whom I have had dealings, should seem, from their com- 
mencement, to believe this to be the case. Of this belief I 



250 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

have had, not verbal, but practical demonstrations at every 
period of my life. 

I have often pondered the parable of the talents. Under 
its influence, and the influence of a multitude of thoughts 
that prayed for utterance, as well as the applause of friends, 
who read or heard some of them uttered, I have often asked 
myself : Who am I ? What was I made for ? Am I burying 
my lord's money ? Reflection has satisfied me that there is 
but one sensible answer to these queries. Whether I am 
peculiarly gifted or not I do not hnoio ; but I do know that it 
is my duty to support my family and pay my debts. 

Till these things are accomplished, or become compatible 
with ambitious aspirations, vanity shall seduce me into no 
Borrioboola Gha enterprises. Till then, other men must have 
their names in the papers, and claim the honour of being 
church-builders and Union-savers. I will merely ^' drop in" 
privately the widow's mite. 

I once thought this compatibility existed. When residing 
in the South, I permitted my name to be used as a candidate, 
and was beaten by an "old stager," by a small majority. 
Nothing ever gave me so much confidence in my ability to 
*'get along" with the people as that race; and if anything 
could have tempted me to forsake family and honour, and 
plunge into the whirlpool of ambition, it would have been that 
defeat. Simultaneously with it, however, came the knowledge 
of the fact that I had been completely deceived in relation to 
my financial condition. Upon this discovery, without hesita- 
tion, without wavering, I bade adieu to fame, and, without a 
sigh, went to work. The only work I could get which would 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 251 

pay certainly, and soon enough for my necessities, was that at 
which I am engaged. It is an humble business, and would 
be very revolting to the vanity of one who regarded appear- 
ance as preferable to reality ; but it is an honest calling, and I 
pursue it cheerfully. 

I was happy before my fall. I have been very happy since. 
I love to labour in the lowly vale, where tiny streams meander 
— where flowers bloom — where the gentle breezes blow — where 
character is secure — where friends are fond — where wife and 
children caress — where home is quiet. I pity the miserable 
wretches, who, driven on by an unholy, or an unquiet ambi- 
tion, toil on the mountain side, or shiver in the bleak blasts 
that blow upon its summit. If ever I *' climb the steep where 
fame's proud temple shines afar,'' Deity must open the way, 
and duty must lead or drive me up. Then the contentment 
that cools the heat of the vale, will temper the breezes that 
blow upon the mountain top. 

I am writing thus just to be a-writing to you. I know that 
these conclusions at which I arrive through a sea of thought, 
you long since attained intuitively. I know you never have 
tried, and never will try to tempt me into the paths of vanity. 
I know that, accustomed to luxury, and capable of shining in 
society, you have cheerfully worked, economized, and shunned 
the world. I know, that however honest and however coura- 
geous the strong husband may be, the feeble wife is not less so. 

Don't you feel like shouting over the poverty that caused us 
t6 know, and esteem, and love each other thus ? Don't you 
feel grateful to it for the lovely traits it has exhibited in our 
children; and the assistance it has given us in educating 



252 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

ttcm ? Could they have been so sweet, so unselfish, so indus- 
trious, so afi'ectionate, reared in affluence, surrounded by nurses, 
waiting-maids, and company? How little Anna's message 
touched my soul ! We are so accustomed to Alice's usefulness, 
it makes now only a slight impression ; but to think of one so 
small as Anna, voluntarily cleaning knives and forks, picking 
raspberries and strawberries for market, and trying, in every 
way, to make her tiny self useful, is almost overpowering. It 
shows the omnipotence of precept and example, afifection and 
firmness, combined. Was there ever a more helpless little 
human, when she was under her ^^ aunt's" jurisdiction ? 

You speak of the importance of Alice going to school. It 
is about time for her to begin. I, however, regard book-learn- 
ing as a comparatively unimportant part of a thorough edu- 
cation. 

Those chaps have learned one lesson already, that many 
old D.D.^s, M.D.^s, and LL.D.'s die without learning — a les- 
son, for ignorance of which a knowledge of all the libraries in 
the world would not be a sufl&cient compensation. I mean the 
lesson contained in my serio-jocular expression : " Come, child- 
ren, you have romped enough ; I want you to go now and play 
sewingj or cleaning knives, or studying, or something of the 
sort." It consists in a practical knowledge ; a realizing con- 
viction of the fact, that play, too long continued, is not only 
unprofitable, but the hardest kind of work; that useful em- 
ployment, cheerfully undertaken and pursued, is pleasant play ; 
that he has the most " fun" who occupies his time most judi- 
ciously. 

A year ago, Miss Anna could scarcely have been made to 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 



253 



clean knives and forks, or do any other work. Slie has not 
been forced, but led; or, rather, I might say, amused into 
such industry, that she doubtless annoys you with her sweet 
importunity to help about things beyond her capacity. As I 
almost wept when I required everybody to quit praising Alice 
to her face, so I almost weep now to think that Anna's day is 
over, and that for a few years the Queen of beauty must alone 
receive our homage. 

One thing however reconciles me to this. The change is 
an important part of education. It teaches little brats several 
essential lessons. It gives them a fall in their own estimation, 
which does not hurt much at their age, but teaches them who 
they are, and will save them from greater falls when their 
bones have become more brittle. It teaches them also to love 
and listen, without envy, to the praises of another. 

Alluding to the little Queen brings to mind a conversation, 
which occurred a week or two ago. I was waiting for the cars 
at a railroad station, when I overheard two North Carolinians 
bragging the one of a son, the other of his daughter. I 
poked my head in the window just as the latter said his child 
was the prettiest in the state, and remarked, " you can say 
that, as I live in Tennessee, but I have no idea the beauty of 
your little girl would do to compare with that of mine." He 
declared his could not be equalled. I told him mine was so 
beautiful that sometimes, when the vision of her beauty came 
suddenly upon me, I would fall, roll over, and shout with 
ecstasy. He replied that, under similar circumstances, he 
could scarcely resist the impulse to kneel and worship his. I 
then remarked : '' If it be true that you have a pretty child, it 



254 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN* 

is very strange. For I have been in a great many families, 
and all the children I ever saw, except my own, struck me as 
being rather common." 

After these jocose retorts, which highly amused ourselves 
and the bystanders, I asked the braggart to describe his 
daughter. He did so, and the description would have an- 
swered for Nellie. However similar the features, it is ridicu- 
lous, 7/ou knoto, to suppose the North Carolina gal's face to 
be illumined by the same electrifying radiance. I didn't tell 
the fellow this, for his vanity would doubtless have prevented 
his appreciating the remark. 

You say S. is hopeful of the election of Fillmore, and desires 
me to indite an epistle for publication, that will be worthy of 
myself and the subject. I am not desirous of appearing before 
the public, and upon what he founds this hopefulness is diffi- 
cult for me to perceive. — The late elections are all in favour 
of Democracy. 

I do all I can honestly for Fillmore. Yesterday I persuaded 
an influential old line Whig, who was contracting the habit of 
portraying the probabilities of Buchanan's election, and arguing 
that the race was between him and Fremont, to promise that 
he would not talk on that side of the question for a month, 
because by so doing he would aid in producing the very result 
he dreaded. But, notwithstanding my efi'orts in Fillmore's 
behalf, my love of the man, my opposition to Democracy, I 
can but fear that it may become, on the part of a Southerner, 
an unpatriotic absurdity to vote for him. Had it not been 
for the American party he could easily have been overwhelm- 
ingly elected. But that party has rendered Whiggery help- 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 255 

less, and lias not, I fear, strength sufficient to conquer. Pratt, 
Pearce, Jones, old Whig Senators, have all, since I wrote 
about going for Fillmore, spoken in favour of Buchanan, thus 
aiding, by the influence of their names and position, in effect- 
ing what they profess to deplore ; that is, the inability of the 
former to rally the South to his standard. I shall do as I 
'would have had them do. In my humble sphere I will talk 
and work for the man of my choice. When it becomes clear 
that he stands no chance, and voting for him is equivalent to 
voting for Fremont, then, and not till then, will it be time to 
turn to my second choice. Who knows what changes two 
months will produce in the political horizon ? 

I do not, however, blame any one, for I never was so per- 
plexed about what my duty, as a patriot, is. In the darkness 
I may blunder ; and, in this perilous crisis, every citizen should 
dread a blunder. 

I may continue this subject in my next, as you seem inte- 
rested in it, and writing is the best way, I ever tried, to clear 
away my own mental mists. 

The noon of my trip is passed. More than two months 
have elapsed since I gave you all the parting kiss. It cer- 
tainly will not be that long before I greet you with another 
of a more joyous kind. But make no calculations about 
my return till you hear from me at Lynchburg. Kiss the 

children. 

Yours, 

William Atson. 



256 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 



LETTER XXXV. 

Engine off the track. — Scary persons. — Politeness of white women and 
"blacks" contrasted. — Lynchburg. — Kisses strange women. — Life in- 
surance. 

Lynchburg, Va., August 21, 1856. 

Dear Molly : — Yesterday, as we were rattling along '^ tlie 
banks and braes" of old James river, and bad begun almost 
to snuflF tbe scent of a Lyncbburg dinner, a cow jumped out 
of tbe busbes on tbe road. '' Tbe catcber" struck, and instead 
of knocking ber off, knocked ber down, and pusbed ber witb 
its grinding power fully an bundred yards along tbe track, 
wben tbe jellied mass rolled over on one side, and tbe engine 
on tbe otber. 

We were detained about two bours. Tbe detention inter- 
fered witb every one else. Tbe otber passengers were burry- 
ing to tbe Springs, — I designed stopping. Tbe amusement 
afforded by tbe appearance of tbe affrigbted, and tbe sociable 
conversations to wbicb it led, amply repaid me for tbe annoy- 
ance of so sbort a delay. One elderly lady seemed to take a 
particular fancy to me. Sbe would talk to me. I liked ber 
bonest face, and knew sbe was scary only from erroneous 
notions. So I talked to ber seriously and jocosely; first 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 257 

speaking of Providence, and when this failed to cheer, telling 
her I was afraid she had been doing something wrong; that I 
never could understand how anybody with a good conscience 
could be scary; that the ladies all seemed to be morally better 
than myself, but that when I saw them so afraid, I was dis- 
posed to suspect they had committed some horrible sin. The 
serio-comic way in which I said this, seemed to divert ; and 
somewhat relieved her. She had a daughter about Alice's 
age, who was distressingly alarmed when the cars started 
again. I told her how particular I was to see that my little 
girls were not cowards ; how I educated them into a quiet and 
unobtrusive bravery. 

A gentleman, six feet high, of vigorous and healthy frame, 
said his nervous system was so completely shattered by the 
alarm, past and prospective, that he would take a deep drink 
then, and repeat till its tone was restored. He invited me to 
join him. I replied '^Not any, I don't reckon I have any 
nervous system. At least, it doesn't need liquor." Thus we 
talked and laughed the hours away — the smell of raw beef the 
meanwhile regaling our olfactories. 

The train which came out for us was not sufficiently large 
to seat the white passengers. They had also to occupy the 
seats of the darkies, in " the second-class" car. I gave my 
first seat to a lady, and soon succeeded in getting another. 
Upon looking around I saw a stout and healthy, but gray- 
haired mulatto woman standing up.. I told the gentleman by 
me, if he had no objection to the old lady's sitting by him, I 
would give her my seat. He did not object. I beckoned to 
her. She came forward and took the seat without even 
22* 



258 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

thanhing me. Such impoliteness by a wtite woman would 
not have surprised me. It is a rare thing to meet with one 
of them, who repays an act of disinterested courtesy with a 
smile. They seize a gentleman's property, or accept his efforts 
to serve them, as though they had a right to demand them. 
I admit they have this right, according to every rule of 
Christian chivalry, but that is the very reason, ordinary mag- 
nanimity, the most common-place delicacy of feeling, or refine- 
ment of manners should teach them the beauty of waiving 
their rights, or gratefully and gracefully receiving their dues. 
How subjects love, and how freely they give to a queen, who 
requires but little ! How grudgingly they obey a sovereign, 
who constantly reminds them of his sovereignty ! 

But, I was going to say, such an impolite act by a genteel 
black woman did surprise me. I am inclined to believe it 
was merely the result of forgetfulness. I am glad to think 
her conduct was an exception, and that nine-tenths of the 
blacks, cornfield hands included, would under similar circum- 
stances manifest more politeness. For they are a kind-hearted 
race, and kind-heartedness almost always begets politeness. 

On my arrival here I received yours of the 9th instant, and 
was distressed to hear of Alice's second attack. I attribute 
both to those long walks. 

The publication, in The Sentinel, that my " distinguished'* 
self had declared in favour of Fillmore, annoyed me some- 
what. In another part of this, or in a subsequent letter, I 
will tell you why. 

Yesterday evening, and the greater part of to-day, I was 
engaged in writing to S., occasionally refreshing myself by 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. i69 

reading a few pages of next montli's Harper. This afternoon, 
an hour or two "be sun," I strolled down Main street, 
turned up the hill beyond the business streets, went to the 
door of a respectable-looking private house, rang the bell, 
walked in, and kissed three ladies — a wife, a daughter, and 
a niece ; — the husband, father, and uncle looking quietly on 
and scarcely saying a word. There is, I can tell you, nothing 
like cool impudence. What is more remarkable, the ladies 
responded unabashed and cordially to my salutations. 

You will say, '^ Oh yes, they were relations.'' I tell you 
candidly, except Gr., an Orleans gentleman, I met at " The 
Norvell House," I did not know a human face in Lynchburg. 
You see, I hadn't kissed a woman for more than two months, 
and couldn't stand it any longer. You will take it for granted, 
as a matter of course, that they were good-looking. To kiss an 
ugly woman would, you know, be too much for my stomach. 

I expected to find a letter from Smith & Co. awaiting me 
here. It did not arrive till to-day. I looked for it with 
anxiety, because it was to decide the direction of my journey. 
Until it had been perused I could not calculate about the 
period when I should kiss familiar lips. I thought I might 
have to visit New York ; I am ordered to Americus, Georgia. 

On Monday I expect to start to this place. This dip into 
the South at this season will cost me something. You must 
pay the required premium on my life insurance. You can 
say, I will not be south of Memphis latitude over twenty or 
thirty days. Do not neglect this. I am aware that you and 
all other good wives have a repugnance to insuring their hus- 
bands' lives; but you must think of the children. The idea 



260 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

of leaving you and them in an embarrassed pecuniary condi- 
tion almost makes me feel cowardly. The life insurance 
relieves the tendency to this feeling. It affords to the poverty- 
stricken husband and father a peace, " which the world can 
neither give nor take away." Do not look for me before the 
1st of October. I did not tell you so, but I left home with 
the deliberate determination of not returning prior to the 20th 
of September. The loss of time before leaving was not my 
fault, but I was receiving pay, and desired to make up for it. 
Write immediately to Americus, Geo. Do not be uneasy 
about my Southern tour. Remember how long I have lived 
in a more southern latitude, and think how soon I will be at 
home. 

Unless a want of time prevents, I will write again in a few 
days. Kiss the children for me, and remember me to the ser- 
vants. That is, if you still regard as your liege lord, one who 
walks into strange houses and kisses strange women. 

Till notified to the contrary, 

Yours ever, 

William Atson. 



OR; HEART WHISPERS. 261 



LETTER XXXVI. 

Author's childhood. — Lynchburg. — Love of our birth-place. — Wise, Jeffer- 
son, Washington. — Comparison of states. — The philosophy of content- 
ment. — The philosopher's stone. — " Penning men." — A.'s ambition. — 
Political explanation. — Whig and Democratic parties. — Slavery. — Aboli- 
tion. — " Mammy." 

Lynchburg, August 23, 1S56. 

Dear Molly : — I am now iu tlie heart of my native state. 
Thirty-eight years ago, or thereabouts, away off in old Din- 
widdie, I startled the bystanders with my first cry. Thirty- 
three or four years ago, in this very town, I prattled (that'-a 
funny, isn't it? just think of my prattling); and wore girl's 
clothes, and declared " I won't say Peter Flewallan a bit ;" 
and delighted, with my sweet childish ways, (that's funnier 
still — my sweet ways, ha ! ha ! ha !) Father, and Mother, and 
Mammy. The old house, I used to act so remarkably in, still 
stands up yonder on the hill. In it Mary lisped, and Annie 
was born. 

Here I learned my A. B. C.'s. Here I first went to school, 
first and last played truant, caught the first glimpse of the 
meanness, and misery, and folly of doing wrong, and imbibed 
my still existing prejudices against " mixed schools.'' I do 
not know her name, I have never heard of her since, but the 



262 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN J 

image of the little innocent, curly-headed, five or six year old 
girl, who instilled these prejudices into the little boy of the 
same age, has never been forgotten. 

About twenty-nine years ago I passed through this town, on 
a return trip from Amelia to Tennessee, and ^^ cut up some 
extras' ' in the street, on account of which, three or four weeks 
afterwards. Pa gave me one of his Mndj affectionate whip- 
pings. Long as was the delay, it was not unexpected. He 
had quietly promised it, and though it had been postponed a 
year I should still have calculated upon " the present.^' If 
you want a child to love, and never forget you, three weeks 
after the oflfence is committed, and punishment promised, take 
him away off to a private place, keep the transaction profoundly 
secret, and whip him affectionately. 

About this period I saw for the last time, till now, the 
matron whom I kissed so cordially the other day. It was 
Mrs. S., the wife of a distinguished D. D. She is a cousin 
I have been always taught to respect and love. The young 
ladies alluded to were not then born. Am I not getting old ? 
Were it not for the immortality of mind and soul I should 
begin to think so. But health, and faith, and gratitude are 
wonderful rejuvenators. I feel young and happy, as happy as 
when I used to toddle up and down this hill. My early cries 
were my last. As age begins to root the hair from my fore- 
head, and make crow-tracks beneath my eyes, a maturer, a 
wiser happiness blooms in my heart. I have bid farewell to 
tears, save those of affection, sympathy, and joy. My pros- 
pects, regarded with infidel eyes, would now look very gloomy, 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 263 

but the dark cloud is evanescent, and the sunlight endureth 
for ever. 

I had no idea reminiscences of so early a childhood would 
thus revive in the once familiar scenes. As soon as I reached 
here, I felt that this had been my home. I was directed 
the way to Uncle I/s house — in early days I called all the 
preachers uncle ; I could not previously have told you any- 
thing about his dwelling. So soon, however, as I saw it, its 
position and aspect were as familiar to me as your loved face. 

The hill, on the side of which Lynchburg reposes, is almost 
a mountain. The city extends from the river to its top. 
Each cross street is level, so that when you reach the first, 
second, or third you imagine yourself at the climax, but ask 
where any one resides, and you will, according to my expe- 
rience, be told, ^^ Oh, he lives up yonder on the hill.'' The 
ten thousand inhabitants that live, move, and climb on its side 
can look down on James river, or across at the picturesque 
beauty of the twin hill-mountain, that rises precipitously from 
the opposite bank. I see now, through my window at " The 
Norvell House,'' the streets and houses of the city, the yellow 
water of the river, and the jagged sides and oval summit of 
the opposite hill, ornamented with cedar, pine, and chestnut 
bushes growing amid the rocks. Two or three houses rest 
upon it, and two white cows are in sight, browsing among the 
green bushes upon its barren declivity. 

We will love our hirth-place. Reared as I have been in 
Tennessee, it is strange with what a spell and a power the 
love of " old Yirginny" moves my heart. Whence does the 
emotion arise ? Is it the bud of our first perception of parental 



264 

kindness ? Is it the lingering impress of the joyous ride upon 
the father's foot, or the shadowy remembrance of the mother's 
countenance, as it watched o'er us in the days of our helpless- 
ness ? Is it the product of the parents' fireside talks about the 
land they left ? Or do I love old Virginia, as everybody else 
does, not because she is my mother, but because she was the 
mother of states and heroes, because little Tommy Jefferson, 
Jimmy Madison, Jim Monroe, and Pat Henry waded bare- 
footed in her streams, and romped over her hills ; because a 
brave boy that wove his name out of her flowers, and wouldn't 
tell his father a lie, became the peerless man, immortalizing 
her history, and illumining her scenery, with the effulgence 
of his own transcendent fame. 

By-the-bye, Wise has recently made a brilliantly eloquent 
speech on George Washington, apparently laudator}^, but really 
defamatory of his character. He is so afraid the greatest of 
men will be considered " a myth" by posterity, that he quits 
the beaten track of history, and resorts to anecdotes, bearing 
the indelible stamp of falsehood, to prove him imperfect. 
The fool didn't possess originality sufficient to conceive the 
idea, that man can be perfect as well as a cow, a horse, an 
elephant; that animal perfection, God perfection, angeUc,' 
and human perfection are four distinct things. " Ebo-shia 
and gizzard foot" knew that with mankind imperfection was 
the rule, and had not the capacity to comprehend that won 
drous equilibrium of vast physical, mental, and moral powers 
the possession of which resulted in the production, and elec- 
trified the eighteenth century by the exhibition, of a gigantic 
exception. There may have been other perfect men. The 



I 



;i' 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 265 

Bible intimates that Samuel was of this class. Cyrus resem- 
bles one. There may have been others, unknown to fame. 
Of these we cannot speak positively. Washington's character, 
private and public, is however known from his birth to his 
death ; and I would fearlessly defy the world to establish by 
means of reliable history an imperfection therein. He was a 
'perfect man. 

The fact is, his conservatism stands like a wall of adamant 
in the path of ultra-democracy, and some of its restless, ambi- 
tious, miserable leaders desire, I fear, to lessen the magic 
influence of his name ; to drag him down to the level of Tom 
Jefferson. I say nothing against the latter. He was a great 
man, and his love of truth would cause him to despise the 
effort of his pretended friends to do such despicable deeds. 
He would know too that everything is estimated by comparison, 
and consequently if ilie large does not wish to appear little ^ it 
should not be placed contiguous to the gigantic. 

I am, however, travelling from the subject. I met, a few 
days since, with a striking illustration of love of the native 
place, with unconsciousness of its existence, in the person of 
Mr. Matthewson. He is a native of North Carolina, but 
removed long since to Tennessee — professes great attachment 
to the latter state, and denies that he cares a farthing for the 
former. He is also a wool-dyed Locofoco. I tried an experi- 
ment upon him. 

If you have watched my movements with the interest with 

which a loving wife should watch the wanderings of her absent 

lord, you will have perceived that my course through the 

eastern three-fourths of North Carolina described a zigzag 

23 



26(5 A PEEP BLIIi.NjD the rA3IlLY CL'ilTAlX; 

circle, the only iDcomplete part of the circle being the short 
space between Salisbury and Greensboro. This course of 
travel gave me a fine opportunity of seeing a great portion of 
the country. 

^Yhen I nrst entered the state, I was agreeably disappointed : 
the land was better than I anticipated ; the corn, under the 
influence of sunlight and showers, promised an abundant 
harvest. My exit from it was also calculated to impress me 
more favourably. The truth is, its middle portion resembles 
somewhat West Tennessee. Oak timber and hills constitute, 
however, the main resemblance. Our land is always fertile, 
when fresh. There is nothing we call ''soil'^ upon the un- 
cleared land here. It was horn poor, I never thought, I 
never heard any one say, our section was pretty. The region 
I am now describing is not prettier, but it is exquisitely beau- 
tiful compared with the eastern balance of the state. This is 
poor, and hopelessly ugly. There may be, and are, excep- 
tions. Roanoke and Tar river bottoms are said to be very 
fertile. Along the Cape Fear there are some rich lands and 
pretty scenery. Raleigh is quite a handsome village. So are 
Murfreesboro and some others. But if the tourist were re- 
quired to describe, in two words, the aspect of this entire 
section, and the character of its soil, those two words would 
be i^oor and ugly. The piney country in Georgia and South 
Carolina is usually undulating or hilly, and sometimes pictur- 
esque. Here it is generally a lifeless, unbroken level. 

A blind man could tell when he had reached the poorest 
part of this poor region. He would hear but one voice, and 
that would be the voice of Democracy. It is said, wheu the 



OR; HEART WHISPERS. 267 

pines are deadened, or cut down, oaks grow in tlieir stead. 
This suggests tlie queries, whether turpentine will not eventu- 
ally "give out;'' and, if so, can Democracy survive it? If 
good schoolmasters build their houses amid the young oaks, 
the probability is, that whatever may be the former's fate, the 
latter will certainly cease to predominate. The water of this 
region is not good, and, judging by its appearance, the number 
of physicians and druggists, the amount of their practice and 
business, I do not believe it healthier than in the thickly 
settled and long-cleared portions of the West. Again, the 
climate, though in the same latitude, is as cold as two or three 
degrees directly north of us. 

A gentleman, who was raised near Concord, N. C, farmed 
nine years near Memphis, and moved back. He told me that 
West Tennesseeans habitually planted corn one month earlier 
than it could be safely planted by the people of his neighbour- 
hood; and that, in the cultivation and picking of cotton, the' 
former had at least two months the advantage. On the poor 
lands of Georgia and South Carolina the farmer makes as 
much to the hand as does the West Tennesseeau. This is 
owing to the more genial climate, and the lightness of the soil, 
which enables him to cultivate so much more land with the 
same force. North Carolina is the only state which acknow- 
ledges she makes less. With six or eight dollars' worth of 
guano and other manure scattered over an acre, it averages 
fifteen or twenty bushels of corn and twelve or fifteen bushels 
of wheat, the very same average our poor, worn, old fields pro- 
duce without manure. 

Mr. Philips told me in the West his average crop to the 



268 A I'EEP BEIT INI) THE FAMILY CURTAIx\; 

hand was five bales of cotton ; aud, I suppose, from my know- 
ledge of tlae country, seventy-five to a hundred busliels of 
corn. "Vyhere lie now resides, his average crop is two bales of 
cotton and fifty bushels of corn to the hand. Tobacco is grown 
in the northern counties. Of this crop I know nothing. The 
county of Caswell is said to produce the finest tobacco in the 
world. Whether Virginia would admit this to be true, I can- 
not say. 

After this description, you will be ready to say, ^^ Georgia 
stock is rising; North Carolina must be inferior." Ah, but I 
won't take back, because you would tell Mrs. G., and she 
would laugh at, and turn me over to the tender mercies of 
Mr. B., who ^^riz" out of the sands of Edgecombe. Again, 
I have not yet visited the western part of the latter state ; and 
" they say'' the scenery is beautiful, and the land richer there. 

You will doubtless be inclined to ask, Can people live in 
North Carolina ? I could not have made my tour at a more 
favourable time for answering this question negatively. There 
was universal lamentation. The drought had blasted one-half 
of the corn, and injured materially the cotton crop. The 
chince-bug, an insect resembling somewhat an ant, but having 
dark wings with a white spot on each, and emitting, when 
mashed, the odour of the bed-bug, had rallied in myriads to 
the aid of the drought, and was feeding on the growing crop. 

Hard winds followed, and blew down or twisted round the 
parched stalks, whose roots were already weakened by the 
biting bugs. To cap the climax, just as I departed I heard 
that the judgment of hail had descended and bored holes in 
the tobacco leaves of many once hopeful planters. 



2G9 

Notwithstanding these gloomy facts, people do live in North 
Carolina ; and there are no indications of a stampede. Not 
only so. People not only live there, but they live well, as 
well as they do anywhere. Not only so. The merchants of 
this state, as well as those of South Carolina, are dependent 
upon the mass of the people, who are mainly tillers of this 
poor soil ; and yet they rank higher on the New York record, 
for solvency and promptness, than those of any other southern 
states, except the poor one in which I am now writing. 

A description of Louisiana might be truthful and yet charm- 
ing. The absence of winter, the cool sea-breeze, its rolling 
river, its navigable bayous, its contiguity to market, its alluvial, 
fertile, and everlasting soil, its rich prairies, its forests of ever- 
greens, its ever-during flowers, its cotton and sugar cane, its 
figs, oranges, and bridal orange-blossoms; ^^the coast,'^ dotted 
with villages, country mansions, and cottages, and on its 
southern border the Gulf's eternal roar, combine to make a 
musical picture, or rather to constitute a lovely reality that 
turns Fancy's eye towards Paradise, when Eve trimmed its 
luxuriant shrubbery, and bathed in its pellucid streams. 

Now daub West Tennessee with any amount of paint, and 
how comparatively uninviting would be its portrait ! Yet we 
have tried both, and prefer the latter. And now that I have 
examined nearly the whole Union, I am satisfied with it. The 
fact that I was raised there, that its people are my friends, 
that I love them all, has doubtless something to do with my 
estimate of it; but I believe, laying ail feeling of affection 
aside, I could demonstrate, by fair argument, that its advan- 
tages counterbalance its disadvantages so completely as to 
23 * 



270 

render it equal to any otlier section of this ocean-bound re- 
public. 

It would be an exaggeration to say that the planters of 
Louisiana — high-toned, whole-souled^ chivalrous gentlemen — 
with their vast incomes, belonged to the commission mer- 
chants of Orleans, that these merchants belonged to the banks, 
and that the banks were insolvent. The latter clause would 
be totally untrue. But it is true that the planters of Ten- 
nessee, with their little incomes, are almost universally pros- 
perous and independent, whilst those of Louisiana are too 
frequently manacled by mortgages, and worry out their lives 
trying to free themselves. It is also true that the prosperity 
of the one state is more apparent than real, and that of the 
other more real than apparent. It is no less true that 
mosquitoes swarm in Louisiana, and that epidemics have be- 
come almost endemic there. 

When, after several years' residence on the black, deep soil 
of this state, I visited the scenes of my younger days, the 
region where I used to mix with the Indians, shoot the birds, 
and chase the rabbit and the deer, on my way to the town in 
which I '■'■ made love" to you, I remarked, as the stage rushed 
past the poor old fields, '■'■ Had I not been raised in this section, 
it would require strong evidence to convince me that man 
could live and flourish here.'^ This observation was evoked 
by its comparatively desolate and barren appearance. Georgia, 
South, and especially North Carolina, appear to me as poor, 
compared with "West Tennessee and North Mississippi, as 
these do contrasted with Louisiana. With us '' bottom" is a 
synonym for fertility. The only question to be asked is, does 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 271 

it overflow ? In the former states the terms are by no means 
synonymous. Pines and sand, with an obstinacy worthy of a 
better cause, press forward, and take position on the banks of 
their murmuring streams. 

Yet, notwithstanding my criticism of this trio of states, and 
my high estimate of that in which we live, paradoxical as it 
may appear, I am not prepared to assert that the former are 
inferior to the latter. 

Experience, observation, and calm reflection, incline me to 
the conclusion that all large sections of our earth, at least of 
that portion included within the temperate zone, are, every- 
thing considered, about equal. 

The same judgment, honesty, energy, and perseverance 
which would insure success in the one, would generally be 
rewarded to the same extent in any of the others. 

The following rule, on the subject of " moving," would seem 
to be the corollary to the foregoing conclusion : — " Remain 
where you are, unless the propriety of moving is self-evident. 
If there be a doubt, give home the benefit of it.'' 

I have been thus tedious, because I dislike to do anything 
animate or inanimate injustice, even in my own heart; and I 
was fearful I had done, or might do, these sister stars in our 
glorious Confederacy some unintentional wrong. They are my 
country ; and I should regard myself as a traitor if I did not 
love every foot of it from ^Maine to Florida, from the Atlantic's 
western verge to the Pacific's eastern shore. 

Loving it thus, I can still inquire, who dare assert that 
these southern states are not naturally equal to New England's 
sterile soil and icy clime ? AVho dare affirm that the people, 



272 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

black and white, are not as good and as tappy as those who 
shiver month after month in the fertile prairies of Illinois, or 
the snow-clad hills of Ohio ? 

I say but little of the people. They are human, and 
humanity is the same everywhere, only modified by minor 
differences in organization, surrounding circumstances, and 
education. I know that these differences sometimes produce 
rascals. I have occasionally met with these abortions, and 
suffered by the collision. But I am satisfied that eight-tenths 
of mankind, civilized and savage, desire and design to do right, 
according to their notions of right. I am satisfied that there 
is more weakness than wilful wickedness in the world. Harsh 
judges, or ignorant, or inexperienced, or unreflecting censors 
of their race, say this is a mistake. My conclusion, properly 
understood, is not incompatible with the greatest caution in 
business transactions, and is a very pleasant ote, begetting in 
the heart love, and joy, and charity. Theirs leads to self- 
conceit; and its legitimate children are bigotry, bitterness, 
and malice. They look away from themselves^ and fix their 
attention on the exceptions. I study the rule, and myself 

At any rate, ninety-nine hundredths of those I have met 
North and South, have treated me well — as well as I think I 
deserve to be treated. And you know that I am as sensitive as 
a touch-me-not, and that a streak of lightning can't start even 
with, and beat in speed the electric flash of my wrath, if I 
think a wrong or an insult is intended. 

The philosophy of intention is the philosopher' s stone. I 
have found it ; and it makes me love God and my neighbours. 
Don't you reckon I am a Christian ? I soniciimes hope so. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 273 

I cannot speak positively, but I think there is a difference 
between our society and that of the old states. The classes in 
the latter are more distinctly marked. There is a wider gulf 
between the higher and the lower. With us, white men, 
except candidates for the penitentiary, stand generally on a 
par. These are the legitimate results of the fact that the poor 
and more enterprising more generally migrate to new coun- 
tries, leaving the wealthy and the lazy poor behind. 

Now I think it would be very difficult to find a man in 
Tennessee who could be ^^ penned. ^^ In North Carolina this 
feat is sometimes performed. '' Penning" a man, consists in 
seducing him into a room several days before an election, and 
locking him up ; or having him watched, and feeding him on 
the best fare, and gorging him with liquor and promises, till 
the hour for voting arrives, then marching him to the ballot- 
box, and seeing that he votes right — that is on the side of his 
seducer, jailer, food and liquor furnisher. I could scarcely be 
made to believe in such degradation, and it is doubtless very 
rare. But that there are occasional instances of it, was re- 
peatedly asserted by respectable residents. 

For the party who is ^^ penned,'' great contempt is felt. 
But is not the enlightened citizen, who would debase an 
ignorant fellow-man, the most contemptible of the two ? All 
such enormities — and evils beset the ballot-box everywhere — 
grow out of the crime of betting on elections. 

The numerous mistakes, in the preceding paragraph, were 
caused by a conversation between two men in front of the hotel, 
which, by a singular coincidence, commenced and waxed furi- 
ous just as I finished the expression of my views relative to 



274 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

human nature. Their subject was the same. They swore 
they knew all about it. They ^' damned" it^ and called on 
God to " damn" them if it was not a rascal, a cold-blooded, 
selfish, unfriendly rascal, that would do nothing from a good 
motive, that did everything for pay. One of these men was a 
negro trader. Both were drunkards. 

Well, you have forgotten all about Matthewson, haven't 
you ? I, however, have not. Think over what I have written, 
and select from the mass all the materials for a satirical dis- 
quisition on North Carolina and Democracy. Imagine me in 
a good humour, and in the humour for talking — in the mood 
precisely suited to pushing good-natured satire to the extreme 
limit of propriety, and you will have a pretty correct idea of 
what I said to him. He didn't mind my comments on Loco- 
focoism, for the very reason that 1 pitched into it with such a 
venom. He knew it was strong, and spreading itself like a 
green bay-tree. But, good heavens ! how he writhed ', how 
his blood boiled under my strictures upon his native state ! 

When his wrath became as palpable as though he had an 
ugly and silly sister, and some one had unnecessarily told him 
go, I said to him, ^^ You told me you had no affection for your 
native state ; and here you are as mad as fire at a criticism 
upon it, the truth of which you cannot deny. Don't you 
realize now the reason why ^ Americans' think natives more 
trustworthy citizens than the foreign-horn f I did not tell 
him so, but the blunders that ruined this party were secret 
oaths, avowing in their platform opposition to a religious sect, 
and including in their proposed restrictions foreigners already 
naturalized. Ex post facto rules are alwa)'^ unjust, and a 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 275 

judicious change in the iiaturalizatioii laws would have effected 
all its professed objects. This brings me back to politics. 
Mj ambition aspires after the following things, in the following 
order : — 

1st. To maintain upon just grounds my own good opinion 
of myself. 2d. To retain my wife's. Sd. My children's. 
4th. My friends'. 5th. The public's good opinion of me. 

My respect for my own good opinion of myself being highest 
on the list; would cause me to try to do what I believed to be 
my duty to my family, my country, and my God, though its 
performance should deprive me of the esteem of ail the others. 

My respect for the good opinion of my friends and the 
public induced me to address a letter to I., explaining my 
political position. 

My respect for my wife, combined with the inclination to 
occupy my time in writing to her, induces me to enter into a 
little private explanation. 

When I wrote you, I had determined to go for Fillmore. I 
was in South Carolina, and had just read his recent speeches. 
Public opinion in this state had no effect upon me. It is 
uniformly one-sided, and wrong-sided. Judging the ''old 
line" Whigs by myself, and the reports in the papers, I sup- 
posed that they would likewise read their favourite's speeches, 
and rally to his trumpet call. Under the influence of this 
impression, and the belief that / Tiad all the light necessary 
for a 'patriotic decision, I decided. 

Afterwards I travelled through North Carolina, where a 
desperate battle was being fought between 'Hhe American" 
and Fillmore candidates for Governor and other offices and the 



276 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

Buclianan men, the election of the former depending, aaj 
Fillmore's success does everywhere, upon the Whigs, who hole 
the balance of power. 

Before I wrote on the subject again, and finally, the Ameri- 
can candidates had been defeated by greatly increased ma- 
jorities — Gilmore being beaten by thirteen thousand. The 
elections in Arkansas, Kentucky, and Missouri, were reported 
to be unfavourable — Jones, Pearce, Pratt, three Whig senators, 
as well as Choate the mighty orator, had declared for Bu- 
chanan ; and what was still more dispiriting, the private Whigs 
in North Carolina and Virginia were either going for him, or 
wavering. 

The apparent hopelessness of Fillmore's prospects depressed 
me into a state of indecision. 

Will you reply : '' I thought you did not go by others ; and 
the weaker a good cause, the more tenaciously you adhered to 
it." Such a remark would show that you did not understand 
the cause of my fickleness. If Henry Clay and General Jack- 
son were to rise from the dead, and run for the presidency, I 
would vote for the former though every man in Tennessee 
should hiss me as I walked to the polls. If Mr. Fillmore was 
running alone against Mr. Buchanan, I would do the same 
thing for him. Again ) if the power was delegated to me of 
appointing the President in this eventful crisis, I should not 
hesitate a moment. Without consultation, opposed or unop- 
posed, I should appoint Fillmore. He is my first choice among 
the living. 

But the condition of parties is perfectly anomalous. There 
arc three candidates. Two are national — one is sectional. The 



OR; HEART WHISPERS. 277 

paramount duty of the patriot is, to exert all his power to de- 
feat the latter. The Union is safe in the hands of either of 
the others. How to eJBfect this defeat, is the question. What 
ought to he done, is plain as the meridian sun in the blue and 
cloudless sky. Hoio to do it, is a problem that puzzles the 
brains of all but one-eyed partisans. 

Take Fillmore or Buchanan off the track, and Fremont might 
be elected. Divide the South between the two former, and 
neither of them can be elected by the people. Whichever is the 
weakest in the South, ought probably to be " dropped" here. 
This would be clear, were it not probable that the strong man 
at the South would be " dropped" by the North; thus making 
the race purely sectional, and thereby increasing Fremont's 
chances. From these remarks you will, I think, perceive 
that the success either of Fillmore or Buchanan is the great 
desideratum, and whether either, or which had better be with- 
drawn, are important questions. To reply to them conscien- 
tiously, is exceedingly difficult. I think I have assumed in 
my letter to J., which you will see, the correct position. 

I am studying the risk " of throwing the election into the 
House." My impression now is, but I may change, that if I 
conclude this risk will be too great, I shall vote for Buchanan; 
if not, for Fillmore. 

You may inquire. Why this extreme caution about voting, 
if the Union be not in danger of dissolution ? Did Conserva- 
tives know how to act, there would be none. As it is, there is 
danger. Compared with others I am not much alarmed, and 
still have great faith in its perpetuity. I think still, as I told 
you previously, that the Deity has bound it together by the 
24 



278 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

strongest natural ties. But fanaticism and treachery may 
sever them. I do not forget that similar ties bind parent and 
child together, and yet there are parricides and infanticides. 

You must also keep in mind the immense difference be- 
tween the Black Republican and Democratic parties. One is 
composed of fanatics and traitors trying to destroy, the other 
mainly of patriots struggling to preserve and magnify the 
Union. 

I take especial pleasure, during this the day of its power, 
in rasping, ridiculing, satirizing Democracy, and joking Demo- 
crats almost to the fighting point. I really dislike many of 
its spoils-seeking, Janus-faced secession, free-soil, flattering- 
foreigners, Jesuitical leaders; and dread the readiness with 
which the drilled masses march to the music of their orders. 
But I am convinced that two national parties are essential to 
the prosperity of every country ; and that no two were ever 
better adapted to attain results pleasing to the American pa- 
triot, than the old Whig and Democratic parties. Out of their 
antagonism this Republic has grown to be among the nations, 
what its founder was among men — a peerless giant. 

If mankind were as stupid about learning arithmetic as 
they are in comprehending the simplest principles in medi- 
cine, divinity, law, politics, not more than one in a thousand 
could ever be taught to understand how two and two make 
four. Is it not astonishing how much sprightliness, and vigour 
of mind ; how much fluency and power of expression ; how 
much ability to weave real or apparent facts into a plausible, 
but illogical and deceptive argument, can be exhibited by a 
person utterly destitute of common sense, utterly incapable of 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 279 

reasoning logically, or of compreliending logical reasoning? 
Is it not heart-rending to think that our country is menaced 
with dissolution and fraternal war, simply because men cannot 
understand — though they are written in the history of every 
people, and stare them in the face at home — the simple facts 
that God has so organized society, that hewers of wood and 

Mrawers of water are essential to its existence; and that these 
hewers of wood and drawers of water have opportunities to be 
good and happy, according to their capacity, equal with those 
for whom the wood is hewn and the water drawn ? 

Not comprehending these plain propositions, Northern 
fanatics will not even inquire into the truth of the avowal, 
that of all the hewers of wood and drawers of water on this 
green earth, the slaves of the South are the most contented 
and happy, and improving the most rapidly physically, men- 
tally, and morally. Is it not distressing that so dangerous a 
fanaticism should be fed and fuelled by man's inability to re- 
member, that to judge properly of the condition of another he 
must consider not only the present circumstances surrounding 
him, but his past training? Has he been educated to plough ? 
to make a student of him would be to insure his misery. 
Has he been a student ? do not suddenly convert him into a 

" ploughboy. 

We know with what horror negro women trained to labo- 
rious field work, regard the idea of being metamorphosed into 
house-servants. We know how John and Isaac, and almost 
all field hands, would rather plough, or hoe, or split rails ten, 
twelve, fifteen, yes, eighteen out of the twenty-four hours, 
than to ride to market during the day in a comfortable Jersey- 



280 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

wapron. You well recollect how I for2;ot the foreo-oinp; axiom 
during tlie long, hot days of last summer ; how I was reminded 
of my forgetfulness by the poor, miserable, worn-out, worked- 
to-death darkies coming in at night, and playing the fiddle 
and dancing till I had to beg them, for their own sakes, to go 
to bed ; and how I said, *^ I don't know what to do — those 
negroes mind me about everything else, but I'll have to whip 
'em in order to make them sleep enough;" how I didn't whip 
them, and how the fiddling and dancing continued. 

Liberty, Va., August 25. 

I enclose you '^ Mammy," A Home Picture, by L. Vir- 
ginia. Could it have been more appropriate had she known 
our " Mammy V Let Alice read and save it for those other 
" children," of whose " cunnin' little ways" she talked at 
night to ^' Mistis." 

I enclose, also, ^' The Railway," to remind you of the wan- 
derer. 

" 'Tis nothing now the space which parts 
The distant from the dear; 
The wing that to her cherished nest 
Bears home the bird's exulting breast 
Has found its rival here, 
With speed like hers we too can haste, 
The bliss of meeting hearts to taste." 

I start for Americus this afternoon. In less than a month 
I expect to embrace you, and ours. 

Yours, 

William Atson. 






OR, HEART WHISPERS. 281 

P. S. You say you wish you could receive a letter from 
me every day. Consider each sheet a letter; and here is a 
plenty for four days and a quarter, besides the poetry. 



*'MAMMY"— A HOME PICTURE. 

BY L. VIKGINIA FRENCH. 

Where the broad mulberry branches hang a canopy of leaves, 
Like an avalanche of verdure, drooping o'er the kitchen eaves ; 
And the sunshine "with its shadows, dainty arabesques have made 
O'er the quaint, old oaken settle, standing in the pleasant shade ; 
Sits good "Mammy" -with the "children," while the summer after- 
noon 
Wears the dewy veil of April, o'er the brilliancy of June. 

Smooth and snowy is the 'kerchief, lying folded with an air 
Of matron dignity, above her silver-sprinkled hair. 
Blue and white the beaded necklace, used on Sundays to bedeck 
(A dearly cherished amulet) her plump and rosy neck ; 
Dark her neatly ironed apron, of a broad and ample size. 
Spreading o'er the dress of "homespun" with its many-coloured 
dyes. 

True, her lips are all untutored, but how genially they smile — 
And how eloquent their fervour, praying "Jesus, bress de chile!" 
True, her voice is hoarse and broken, but how tender its replies — 
Though her hands are brown and withered, yet how loving are her 

eyes ; 
She has thoughts both high and holy, though her brow is dark and 

low — 
And her face is dusk and wrinkled, but her soul is white as snow ! 
24 * 



282 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

An aristocrat is *' Mammy" — and though usually sedate, 
" Haught as Lucifer" to " white trash," whom she cannot tolerate ; 
Patronizing too, to "Master" — for she "nussed 'im when a boy;" 
Familiar, yet respectful to "my Mistis" — but the joy 
Of her bosom is " de children," and delightfully she'll boast 
Of the " born blood" of her darlings — " good as kings and queens 
a'most." 

There she sits beneath the shadow, crooning o'er some olden hymn, 
Watching earnestly and willingly, although her eyes are dim, 
Laughing in her heart sincerely, but with countenance demure ; 
Holding out before her "babies," every tempting little lure; 
Noting all their merry frolics with a quiet, loving gaze, 
Telling o'er at night to "Mistis" all their "cunnin' little ways." 

Now and then her glance will wander o'er the pastures far away, 
Where the tasselled corn-fields waving to the breezes rock and sway ; 
To the river's gleaming silver, and the hazy distance, where 
Giant mountain peaks are peering thro' an azure veil of air ; 
But the thrill of baby voices — baby laughter low and sweet, 
Recall her in a moment to the treasures at her feet. 

So "rascally," so rollicking, my bold and sturdy boy, 

In all his tricksy waywardness, is still her boast and joy ; 

She'll chase him through the shrubbery — his mischief mood to cure ; 

" Hi ! whar dat little rascal now ? de bars will get 'im shure !" 

When caught, she'll stoutly swing him to her shoulder, and in pride 

Is marching round the pathways, "just to see how gran' he ride." 

And the " Birdie" of our bosoms — oh ! how soft and tenderly 
Bows good " Mammy's" tender spirit to her baby witchery! 
All to her is dear devotion, whom the very angels bless. 
And all thoughts of her are blended with a holy tenderness; 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 283 

Coaxing now, and now caressing, saying with a smile and kiss, 
** Jus for Mammy — dat's a lady — won't it now?" do that or this. 

On the sweet white-tufted clover, worn and weary with their play, 
■ Toying with the creamy blossoms, now my little children lay : 
Harnessed up with crimson ribbons, rocking horses side by side, 
♦'Make believe" to eat their "fodder" — (blossoms to their noses 

tied ;) 
Near them stands the willow wagon — in it "Birdie's" mammoth 

doll— 
And our noble " Brave" beside them, faithful guardian over all. 

Above them float the butterflies, around them hum the bees ; 
And birdlings warble, darting in and out among the trees ; 
The kitten sleeps at *' Mammy's" side, and two brown rabbits pass, 
Hopping close along the paling, stealing through the waving grass, 
Gladsome tears blue eyes are filling, and a watching mother prays, 
"God bless 'Mammy' and my children in those happy halcyon 
days." 

Forest Home, 1856. 



284 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN 



LETTER XXXVII. 

" The solemn — The serio-comic — And the silly." 

Columbus, Ga., August 29, 1856. 

Dear Molly : — Four days ago I was at Liberty, Va., 
finishing a letter to you. Long as it was, I did not say all I 
desired. 

Never give me an excuse to write about woman, George 
Washington, the Union, or the Deity, if you do not wish to 
be drowned with an overflow of ideas, which may to you, and 
would to many, appear erroneous and eccentric. 

In the letter alluded to, I expressed my belief in the per- 
petuity, but hinted at the possibility of the dissolution of the 
Union. The natural and artificial ties that bind it together, 
cannot be severed without God's permission. Our own folly 
may gain this chastisement; and chastisement is sometimes 
necessary. Time is a school, and our experiences are lessons. 
The average life of man is sufficiently long for him to learn all 
that is necessary for him to know during its continuance. It 
requires ages to educate a nation, and cycles of ages to edu- 
cate the world. The completed education of the world, is the 
millennium. 

The seed designed to produce this result have been long 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 285 

sown. They have sprouted, grown, and produced fruit in 
many a heart. These seed are the simplest ethical elements ; 
simple as the elements out of which the physical universe 
was built. One God, one race. Be true to yourself, and love 
your neighbour sufficiently to do to him as you would have 
him do to you, are all the materials necessary for the con- 
struction of the New Heaven and the New Earth. Possession 
of these materials by man, combined with the knowledge 
how to use them, is moral perfection. The attainment of moral 
perfection by each human being, is the highest state of mo- 
rality to which mankind can be elevated. And this universal 
moral elevation will doubtless be preceded or accompanied by 
proportionate mental and physical advancement — at least by 
an advancement in these particulars adequate to prevent the 
glory and happiness of holiness from being marred by any 
deficiency therein. 

I have indulged, I still indulge, in the dream which haunts 
me with the impressiveness and seeming reality of a night 
vision, that my country is the Missionary created and appointed 
to sow by its example, its victories of peace and war, its com- 
merce, its literature, its history, the millennial seed in every 
human heart. 

I had hoped, I still hope, that these confederated stars will 
gradually, but without material interruption, brighten into b, 
luminous glory, by the light of which the nations shall be 
freed. Interruption may, however, be necessary. The world 
may be too young by thousands of years for such a result. 
Lesson upon lesson, whipping upon whipping, may yet have 
to be administered by the great Teacher before the great pupil 



286 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

will be prepared for graduation; before the final ^' Commence- 
ment' ' stall transpire. Man may now after six thousand 
years, inflated as lie is with the radiant atmosphere of the 
nineteenth century, be only a Sophomore, blinded by faint 
glimmerings of light, the vision of knowledge upon which his 
practised eye shall ultimately gaze undimmed, being as yet 
unconceived, and inconceivable. 

Empires, mighty in extent and gigantic in power, have 
risen and fallen. Their rise and fall were not permitted with- 
out a wise object. 

Disunion, civil war among lion-hearted brothers, a cloud 
over the starlight j blasting storms, may be important for our 
Country's education, and the education of the World. There- 
fore fools and traitors may be allowed to destroy our Con- 
stitution ; to tear down, to annihilate that sublime Pyramid 
which reposes upon the graves of their fathers — whose sides 
tell of their glory, and whose pinnacle points to God and pro- 
phesies of a descending Heaven. 

I also referred to the distressing fact, that fanaticism and 
treachery, should have become sufficiently powerful to threaten 
the production of this pause in the continuous development of 
mankind, mainly by man's failure or inability to remember, 
or comprehend the eflfect upon his fellow-man of natural and 
educational differences. 

To propose, under the influence of sympathy thus excited, 
the abolition of Southern slavery, is not more absurd than to 
propose the abolition of the true woman. 

I am one of the most quiet of men. I can sit about the 
house the livelong day without discomfort. I want no liquor, 



OR; HEART WHISPERS. 287 

no cigar, no tobacco. I can step as lightly around the couch 
of sickness, handle the sick as delicately, and anticipate their 
wants as quickly, as any of your sex. I can nurse the little 
ones, day or night, with a mother's tender watchfulness. I 
am as easy in the company of woman as in that of man, and, 
like the former, love the society of the preachers. 

In addition, observation, reading, and reflection justify to 
my mind the conclusion, that though the life of woman appears 
to be coupled with more misery, she enjoys as much happiness 
as man. Yet what could be more horrible to me than the idea 
of being, at my present age, with my existing disposition un- 
changed, in the midst of society metamorphosed into a wo- 
man r* What? to have to ride a horse sideways; to mince my 
victuals ; to wear tight gloves, and tight shoes ; to keep out of 
the sunlight for fear of getting my complexion tanned; to take 
an hour to comb my hair, and probably have to curl it ; to be 
deprived of the privilege of " crossing my benders,'^ of put- 
ting my feet on the mantelpiece, or sticking them out of the 
window; of knocking down those who insult me; and worse 
than all, of ^^ popping the question.'' This last of itself 
would be intolerable. Disgrace, or suicide, would be the 
result. The very idea caps the climax of agony. What? 
To be in love and wait for a slow fellow to make up his mind 
to court me ; and in the meantime not even be permitted to in- 
quire whether he was deciding^ or when he would decide. The 
bare possibility of such a denouement would be worse torture 
than the thumb-screw, the boots, the embrace of the Virgin of 
the Inquisition. 

If the dread thereof would be so painful to one so quiet, 



288 A PEEP BEHIND THE XAMILY CURTAIN; 

and in some respects so womanly as myself — ^how horrible 
would the anticipation of such a metamorphosis be to the 
restless, swearing, smoking, tobacco-chewing, dram-drinking, 
unchaste wretches, who are likewise called men ? The most 
of them had rather be male-slaves, than white women. Old 
Giddings, clever as he may be in some respects, would vastly 
prefer becoming '^ a buck negro" under a good master. 

Were I a senator, I should be tempted to olBfer a resolution 
for the abolition of Ladies, and make a solemn speech upon the 
subject, dilating the views just expressed, expatiating in 
pathetic terms upon their slavery to public opinion, their 
slavery to etiquette, the slavery imposed on them by the mar- 
riage vow and the laws of the land, and end with a thrilling, 
a soul-moving appeal to the lovers of human freedom to rally 
to my standard and battle for the sacred cause. 

Now you will say, and if a thousand others were to read 
these remarks they would say, ^'They are ridiculous. Cer- 
tainly no one would be so silly, so fanatical, so diabolically 
traitorous to Society's greatest good, as to favour this sort of 
Abolition.'^ Truth is stranger than fiction. I do not say 
there will be — I say there have been, and are, abolitionists of 
this sort. The Socialists, the Free-Lovers, the Female Medical 
Colleges, the Bloomers, Lucy Stone, and that pitiable imbodi- 
ment of masculine degradation, her husband, the '^fast 
women," those corroding ulcers upon the fair fame of their 
sex, are doing all they can to abolish the true woman, the lady. ■ 
And were this impudent, immodest, unchaste, fanatical band 
to attain political influence, cowardly Sumners, gipsy-featured 



il 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 289 

Wilsons, bideous-visaged Sewards, would soon become its 
leaders. 

If tbese talented men are so reckless of good, so destitute 
of patriotism, or so weakly fanatical, as to ruin tbemselves and 
tbeir country, because tbey cannot comprebend tbe propriety 
of yielding to tbe structure of society, of attending to tbeir 
own business, and expending tbeir sympatby and cbarity 
mainly upon tbeir neigbbours, wby migbt tbey not be so silly, 
so monomaniacal, so devilisbly depraved, as to attempt to 
extract tbe savour from woman, tbe salt of tbe eartb ? 

^^ Let not your bearts be troubled,'^ ye lovers of your race. 
Tbe world is improving. Folly will evoke storm after storm, 
but tbese storms, wbile tbey blast tbeir autbors, purify tbe 
atmospbere. God bolds tbe bclm of tbe universe, and be will 
guide it arigbt. Our peculiar Institution will last as long as 
it ougbt, and ninety-nine bundredtbs of tbe female sex will 
always be, as tbey have ever been, cbaste and true. Tbeir 
organization prevents tbe possibility of general corruption. 
How cbeering tbese views to tbe patriot and pbilantbropist ! 
How peculiarly cbeering to tbe busband, and tbe fatber of 
daughters, are tbose relating to your sex ! Will you inquire 
where I learned them ? I reply. From teachers, who would 
regard them as perfectly original with me, from my mother, 
my sisters, and yourself. Blessed is the man who has been 
thus taught, and ungrateful would be be not to feel, acknow- 
ledge, and rejoice in the blessing. 

In my letter from Liberty, to which this is designed as a 
postscript or supplement, I intended to add, should Democracy, 
in the present political exigency, gain the entire sway, become 
25 



290 A PEEJ? BEHI.VD THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 



the only influential paity, the probability is that such pro.sper 
ity would accomplish its niiii more rapidly and completely 
than would the combined efforts of all its enemies ; and hence 
the latter may derive hope even from its victories. I designed 
also to state the universal plea of all poor states : '' The road 
runs through the poorest pai-t." This you are told whether 
travelling by cars, stagC;, or horseback, and without being asked 
whether you came along the public road or followed a cow 
track. 

Saturday, August 80, Just as I was beginning the pre- 
ceding paragraph last night, the screams of " Fire, Fire/' the 
brilliant illumination of a burning grocery store, the antici- 
pated bursting of powder kegs, and the fizzing of blazing 
bacon, aiTcsted my attention, I walked out to see, and, if 
necessary, to help ; and on my return went to bed. Talk not 
to me, if you desire to start the tear in my eye, of passengers 
crashed to death by the clashing cars, or blown into eternity 
by bursting engines, of soldiers dying, sword in hand, amid 
the carnage, the tumult, the intoxicating glory, the mad 
ecstasy of battle. 

Talk rather of the survivors; of the fatherless daughter 
struggling womanhj to maintain life and virtue; of the sewing 
mother working and weeping for children that may starve or 
freeze ; of husbands and fathers whose hard earnings, conse- 
crated by honest toil, are suddenly destroyed by a blaze, and I 
may weep. Picture these sufferers with eyes that see only the 
Present, with ears that are deaf to the harmony of Providence, 
with minds that catch no glimpse of the promises, the restitu- 
tions, the beatitude of the approaching Hereafter, and I will 



^ 



OR^ HEART WHISPERS. 291 

weep ; weep tliafc, witli light all around, they should be igno- 
rant that their trials are lessons intended to prepare them for 
^^ the glory which shall be revealed." 

I have rested from my labours every Sabbath since I left 
home. The only sin I have committed on these days was 
writing to you. "Was that a sin ? I admit a man had as well 
be working or travelling on Sunday as writing business letters. 
But is it wrong to think on that day of Home and Heaven, or 
to write the thoughts they evoke ? To-morrow I have to travel 
the entire day. The trip is an exceedingly disagreeable one, 
the means of conveyance being a stage. I could easily escape 
it, and have been tempted to do so. Of all the methods, how- 
ever, by which I can be induced to do a thing, I believe the 
easiest is to convince me that it will be personally disagreeable, 
but had probably better be done. The fear that the failure to 
perform it will be the effect of temptation to self-indulgence, 
and not accordant with duty, generally settles the question 
against my own inclination. Thus, after an internal debate, 
unheard save by the Omnipresent, I start on another, after 
having just recovered from the fatigue and sickness produced 
by a former stage trip. This is why I spend to-day, instead 
of to-morrow, in writing to you. 

Having room only for a few lines, I will tell you of a cir- 
cumstance of which I was reminded by using the term " fast 
women." In Cheraw, at the Methodist church, at night, my 
attention was arrested by a beautiful girl, with familiar fea- 
tures, seated not far from me. During the prayer I caught 
her making signs and spelling on her fingers to a young gen- 
tleman across the aisle. Their conversation was continued for 



292 A PEEP BEIITXI) THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

some timc^ botli watching for observers, but failing to detect 
one. I say nothing of the impiety, the irreverence, the inde- 
licacy of this act. I only say, before she knelt, I was per- 
plexed to decide which she resembled most, you or Mrs. R. ; 
but, as soon as suspicion cast a shade upon her character, the 
R. similitude predominated. The resemblance to you dis- 
appeared. 

Telling this little occurrence reminds me of another trivial 
matter, at my own foolish talks to myself, about which I have 
frequently laughed. You know how I ridiculed the manner 
in which '^ the fast woman'' from Philadelphia held up her 
dress while walking the streets of Memphis, that I thought it 
disfigured her form, spoiled the hang of the dress, had the 
appearance of being immodest ; and that the designed appear- 
ance of immodesty in a womau is immodest. 

Well, in all my travels I have never seen a pretty woman do 
this thing. From New York to Texas every female peculiarly 
afraid of soiling her dress is ugly. How do you account for 
this strange fact? Is ugliness neater than beauty? Or is 
beauty as neat, but more tasty and modest ? I first thought 
the Skirt-Holders might be conscious of the defect in their 
faces, and trying to withdraw attention to their ankles. But 
this explanation was unsatisfactory. Self-conceit is too wisely 
distributed for the defective to be generally conscious of their 
defects; and, in addition, I could perceive nothing peculiarly 
charming about the ankles belonging to the ugly fiices ; or that 
the faces blushed beneath a detected gaze. 

Hoping the foregoing medley of the solemn, the serio-comic, 
and the silly, may afford you aiuuscmentj I bid you adieu. la 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 293 

twenty-five daj's, at the farthest, I expect to embrace you. 
Kis,s the children, tell the servants howd'ye, and be at home. 

Yours, 

William Atson. 



LETTER XXXVIII. 

Ugliness and Wealth. — Beauty and Poverty. — "Our Buds.'* — Old Virgi- 
nia. — "Amelia." — "Mrs. French." — An epic poem — The materials for. 
— Definition of Lady. — Of Gentleman. — Human nature. — Self. — Hand- 
writing. — Effect of children. 

Columbus, Geo., August 31, 1856. 

Dear Molly : — I expected to be rocking and jolting to-day 
on my way to Cuthbert. Instead of that I am comfortably 
housed, first reading the poetry of Isaiah and then writing to 
wife and children. I say children, because I can never divest 
myself of the idea that they will read or hear from their 
mother's lips, at least as much of what I write as they can 
comprehend. Hence I cannot resist the temptation to express 
views you already understand, and indulge in little criticisms 
on female improprieties, and other small matters that could be 
of no service to you. 

The reason I am not travelling is that on last night the 
winds blew, the rains descended, the floods- came; and, desir- 
ing neither to be drowned nor water-bound away out in the 
piney pondy forest, I determined to remain till the cars started, 

and visit Cuthbert from Americus. 
2a * 



294 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

The raia is still descending, and the wind still blowiuo-. It 
is a somewhat singular coincidence that the only region where 
high water interfered with me last winter, should be that in 
which the same cause frustrates my plan this di-y season. 

As the whistling wind and the furiously pattering rain pre- 
clude the idea of attending church, I will '^ write up'^ the oft- 
remembered and as oft-forgotten journal. 

Beauty and Poverty generally go together. Show me two 
girls walking side by side, one possessing beauty and intellect; 
the other mediocre in every particular; tell me that one is 
poor, the other rich, and I will question j^ou no farther to 
ascertain the possessor of the wealth. Could a gambler '^ get 
bets" on a hundred such couples he might safely risk all he 
had on Beauty being poor, and Ugly wealthy, and calcu- 
late on winning at least seventy-five. Then he might safely 
bet that the twenty-five remaining Beauties were afflicted with 
some mental, moral, physical, or family defects or trials which 
reduced them to a level in happiness with the poor Uglies, and 
calculate on winning twenty of these bets. The same is true 
of states, of countries, of sections of the globe. Health, 
beauty, and fertility rarely reside in the same locality. There 
may, however, be exceptions in this particular, and there are 
exceptions in our race. Men have been wealthy and intellec- 
tual, and women have been wealthy, intellectual, and beautiful. 
But woe to such if goodness dwell not in their hearts, and 
control not their conduct. This pearl of great price exists, 
however, only in hearts where a tender conscience resides, and 
great gifts beget high responsibilities. Simple, therefore, 
must be the theology and clear the faith of him who, with a 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 295 

tender conscience, can be contented and happy in the darkness 
of earth, amid the responsibilities, the restlessness, the tempta- 
tions, the detractions to which Genius and Power expose him. 
Strong must be his nerves, if he do not shiver in the Alpine 
blasts. Firm, unwavering, fearless must be his heart, and 
faithful and fixed his gaze upon the bright realm beyond, if 
misery does not follow his steps and cloud his spirit, if, ren- 
dered dizzy by his elevation, he does not fall into an abysm of 
wretchedness to which the momentum of the less exalted 
would be insufficient to sink them. 

Senator Butler, in reply to the fanatic Sumner, said he could 
not understand how any man who had read History could be a 
bigot. It is certainly no less strange how a man who has 
looked below the surface of society can be envious. As a 
schoolboy boarding in different families, as a physician entering 
into the very arcana of society, as a business-man peeping into 
the commercial heart of the nineteenth century, as a traveller 
wandering through diverse climes, as a reader of the history 
of the world, I have been taught that there is a wondrous 
equality in the God-appointed condition of men. Standing in 
the focus of these rays of light, I am satisfied that this teach- 
ing has been correct, and can truly say, while I would adviso 
no one to swap with me, I could not be induced to exchange 
myself soul, body, and condition with any human being that 
lives and moves on this green earth. Poor, humble, weak, 
short-sighted as I know myself to be, I know also that I am 
healthy, fearless, happy, faithful. — Yes, full of that faith 
which assures me that God would rend the heavens and 
descend visibly to earth, to lead an honest struggler after truth 



296 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

into the right path, rather than allow such an one to work his 
way into the misery of ultimate and hopeless error. I hope 
there are thousands in every clime better and happier than 
myselfj but I do not know them, and, not knowing them, the 
exchange spoken of would be to risk a certainty which is 
obscure for an uncertainty that might be brilliant only in 
prospect. 

When I think of our delicately organized, sensitive, little 
daughters being reared to womanhood in a circle of refinement 
and luxury, entering the jostling world without any of the 
adventitious aids of position and wealth, I cannot but shrink as 
I see, by fancy, their feelings wounded by intentional or 
thoughtless neglect, and they politely pushed back for those 
who perhaps are only superior in these external charms. 
Teach them not to expect much from others, but to require a 
great deal of themselves, to be sensitive about their honour, 
but somewhat callous to trivial slights. Teach them to be 
proud, but not vain. Teach them not to fret themselves 
because of the prosperity of their neighbours ; that happiness 
nestles in the heart, and cannot be driven or seduced there- 
from, so long as its possessor has right views and does his 
duty; and that their father, and, I think I may add, their 
mother, educated amid the spoiling influences of aristocracy 
and affluence, were never happier than when every earthly 
hope seemed blasted, and Trouble, rigged in the raiments of 
Despair, attempted to brow-beat them into misery. Do you 
not perceive that home is the diamond pivot around which 
all my thoughts revolve ? I intended to say, and should have 
.«aid three pages back, had not the intervening faces of i]\Q 



OR, HEART WHISPERS, 297 

brats caused a parenthesis, that Virginia was no exception to 
the rule laid down ; that Health and Beauty have not banished 
Poverty from her domain. My entry into this state was at 
Danville. Thence I journeyed to Burkesville, and from this 
place over '^ The Break Neck'' railroad * via " The High 
Bridge/^ Lynchburg, Liberty, Salem, Christianburg, &c., to 
Abingdon. 

From entrance to exit there is but little fertility and no 
ugly landscape. The scenery along the entire route goes 
through all the variations of beauty from pretty to magnificent. 
It never stoops below the first. It may occasionally transcend 
the latter limit. On the banks of the Dan it is simply pretty. 
The first glimpse of the beautiful is caught as you pass over 
^' The High Bridge," and gaze upon the hills around and the 
undulating valley of the Appomattox beneath. This bridge 
is said to be about one hundred and fifty feet high, to have 
cost the state ^300,000, and to be entirely unnecessary, having 
been built by the folly of an engineer, who was too envious 
and imbecile to follow a route previously surveyed by a compe- 
titor.f It is undoubtedly dangerous, and will probably at some 
distant day " cave in," and produce a smash of cars and pas- 
sengers, which will give editors an opportunity of inditing an 



* The term " Break Neck" was mentioned as the cognomen of this road 
by the scared passengers, who ''had to take liquor" after the engine was 
thrown off the track. It did not appear to me more dangerous than others 
over which I have travelled in the north and in the south. 

f The remarks about the cost of the High Bridge, and the engineer who 
directed its construction, are based upon mere rumour, and may bo totally 
untrue. I for one cannot believe it. Atson. 



29^ A PHEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 



I 



interesting paragraph upon " A Railroad Disaster/' containing 
a rather late lecture on the danger of high bridges. 

When riding over this one, my enjoyment of the scenery 
was interrupted by a scary old lady, who wanted to be allowed 
to get out and walk ; and a scary young man who was sitting 
behind me. To the latter I made some very appropriate and 
encouraging remarks, to which he replied with pale face and 
solemn accent, but which seemed to divert the gentleman 
beside me. ^' Don't you," said I, 'Hhink we are in great 
danger? The cars seem to shake a good deal. Don't you 
think there is something wrong ? Why, the bridge is shak- 
ing, is it not ?" The fellow did not recover his colour for 
several minutes after he was safe. 

Of James River you can form a very good idea from my 
description of Lynchburg, by adding to the picture of hills 
and streams irregular and widening valleys covered with the 
green tobacco plants. There is but little monotony in the 
scenery of Virginia. Even the forests charm you by their 
vast variety. Pines now, oaks presently, then an admixture 
of these with chestnut, cedar, and many other kinds of tree 
and shrub. The upturned soil varies still farther the green 
and woody prospect with its crimson hue. 

I had almost as soon try to describe sweet Nellie's counte- 
nance, when it throws me into ecstasy, as attempt to da- 
guerreotype on another's mind the beauties of the Blue Ridge. 
As, however, you are a lover of nature, and I owe you some 
compensation for the many long-winded reflections which you 
have been forced to peruse, I must make the effort. 

We are at sea. Our ship sits becalmed upon the motionless 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 299 

waters. Now clouds begin to darken the horizon. Now Eolus 
wakes up, and from every cardinal point the winds begin to 
blow. Their fury increases. Now they howl in fierce agony. 
Mountain waves, that pile their irregular crests above the 
thunder's home, almost circumscribe us. Between these, old 
ocean assumes every possible position, from deep dell, tiny 
dale, unruffled plain, undulating valley, to hillock and hill. 
At this climax of commotion, God says to the storm : "Hush \" 
to the rocking waves, " Be still T' They obey. The scene 
changes. The waters disappear. We are in a car on dry land, 
coursing contiguous to the base of the mountains, that once 
were billows. Jagged rocks jut from their sides and pinnacle 
their summits. Evergreen trees proudly shake their branches 
above the verdant forests beneath. At their bases flow numer- 
ous streams. Between them repose the dells, the dales, the 
valleys, the hillocks, the hills, vital with animal and vegetable 
life ; the whole canopied by the blue sky, and effulgent with 
the gorgeous sunlight. On moves the car. A farm-house is 
now in sight. Yonder is a horse prancing in the meadow. 
There is a bevy of cattle browsing in the valley. Now the glit- 
ter of church-steeples tells of an humbly placed village. Away 
below in the deep smiling dell appears a company of blooming 
girls, waving their handkerchiefs to us from the railroad, that 
leads to the White Sulphur Springs; and around us still is 
the deep, dark tint of the mountains, deeper, darker, more 
beautifully blue than old ocean's far-famed hue. 

AVe are surrounded. The mountainous circle seems now 
complete. In front, at least, appears no way of escape. Can 
the iron-horse climb the sky-reaching impediment ? He does 



300 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

not stop to consider the question, but with one wild shriek 
rushes into it. One moment of darkness, and we are again 
in the sunhght. The horse was mistaken — the main moun- 
tain is before him. On he rushes, reckless of danger. Ano- 
ther wild shriek, and the horse and his riders are in utter 
darkness. We are in the bowels of the mountain. We are 
passing through it. We are through. We have emerged into 
the milder beauty of hill and valley. 

This milder beauty lingers through Western Virginia and 
East Tennessee. The scenery occasionally startling the 
traveller by glimpses of the magnificent, as he passes '' The 
Iron," ''The Stone," and Bay's Mountain; or touching his 
heart with a richer glow of loveliness, as he crosses or winds 
his way beside the Holston, the Tennessee, or the Hiawassee 
river. Now shut your eyes, and think of Nellie. Then open 
them, and look at the electrical reality. By this means you 
can form some estimate of the inferiority of the picture I have 
painted, to the scenery through which I have passed. Recol- 
lect, too, that I have applied to it no word stronger than mag- 
nificent, and that there are other sections of the Old Dominion. 

Misty remembrances of a stage — of Annie seated by my 
side, when both our hearts were young — of a road winding 
its tortuous way from Richmond to Guyandott, through a 
region where Beauty frequently robes herself in the habili- 
ments of Sublimity — haunt my soul with their mystic influ- 
ences. 

What a glorious meeting-place for the North and the South 
are the springs that nestle in these mountain vales ! How it 
would delight me, travel-worn as I am, to take you amid the 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 301 

health-inspiring breezes of these blue ridges, and let you feast 
upon their beauties, while the light was stealing back into 
your eye, and the rose transferred its colour to your cheek ! 
But enough of this — it might have been wiser merely to have 
said, in a sort of half-plagiarism from Amelia, — brave are thy 
sons, sweet are thy valleys, and grand are thy mountains, my 
own native land. 

Oh, that this sweet poetess could have seen what I have 
seen ; that she might, by simple songs, such as children love 
to lisp, have painted its beauty on the heart of America's 
youth ! 

It does seem to me that L. Virginia might not only do this, 
but that she might attach immortality to her name by an epic 
on her native state. She possesses the strong judgment, the 
afifluent imagination, the omnipotence of expression, adequate 
to the production of a poem which would compare favourably 
with Homer's Iliad ; and almost equal the sublimity of Job, 
or the more polished grandeur of Milton. Does she possess 
the necessary humility, docility, patience, perseverance, stu- 
diousness ? Is her character tainted with too much Byronic 
bitterness ? Or will her womanly heart yield to its maternal 
impulses, and permit the little prattler at her knee to rob his 
country of that which would silence the assumptions of Eng- 
land's literati ? 

The materials for such a work are abundant. The Atlantic 
two hundred years ago ; the brave Columbus and his mutinous 
crew sailing thereon ; the discovery of the New World ; its 
forests, its beasts, its birds, its flowers ; the Aborigines ; their 
warriors, their maidens, their loves, their stampedes, their 
26 



802 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

wars, tlie tomahawk, and scalping knife ; the pilgrim fathers ; 
the earlier trials, struggles, battles of the first colonists of Vir- 
ginia; her heroines, her Washington — the sun that moves 
alone in the empyrean of human glory; her Henry, Madison, 
Jefferson, Marshall — stars that add beauty to the sunlit firma- 
ment ; her scenery ; her more recent history ; her high posi- 
tion in the Confederacy; the subtle radiations that bind her 
with the weird chains of filial affection and respect to this 
glorious galaxy; liberty, civil and religious, personified; its 
flight from the corruption and slavery of the Old World, 
its settlement and miraculous development in the New; its 
glorious destiny ; a glance at some of these things, and a more 
detailed history of others, might be woven by genius into 
a stately song; its diverse parts being softened, beautified, 
and linked by the love-trials of a lovable American woman, 
adorned with every womanly grace, whilst, ever present, above 
all, brighter than the stars, more luminous than the sun, 
seated in serene majesty, the effulgence veiled in mystic 
shadows, should be visible Providence, with its benevolent 
aspect, its omnific arm, its all-seeing eye. 

September 1, 1856, Columbus. 

I am not certain that I ever witnessed at this season so long- 
continued a storm of rain and wind as raged the whole of yes- 
terday. The stage did not even risk the trip from which I 
desisted. The limbs of trees are lying about the pavements. 

This morning I started on the cars, and had to return — a 
bridge across the Eupatoi, or, as it is vulgarly called, " Booth's 
Orcck," having been blown down. The telegraphic wires are 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 303 

also broken. We can, therefore, hear no news of the damage 
beyond. The remains of the poor crops are doubtless well 
nigh destroyed. 

One lady accompanied us to the Eupatoi. She attracted 
my attention by her sprightly and sensible conversation. Her 
volubility, her friskiness, the girlish vivacity and freedom of 
'her manners, began to annoy me, when I heard her drop the 
word " asylum." It immediately struck me that she was de- 
ranged, and, in a few minutes afterwards, the cars stopped. 
She then took out her Bible, and read aloud, in quite an im- 
pressive manner, several chapters ; and told me she thought 
religious excitement had caused her relapse into insanity. She 
was the picture of health and happiness; singing, talking, 
whistling. I was framing a severe criticism upon the unwo- 
manly nonchalance of her manners, when a suspicion of the 
truth flashed across my mind. This changed the whole cur- 
rent of my feelings. I had several opportunities of serving 
her; and I can assure you I did not let them pass unimproved. 

September 2, Americus, Geo. 

Just after writing the foregoing, I made another experiment 
in travelling, which proved successful, and arrived here to tea 
last evening. The deranged lady came as far as Fort Valley. 
On the ears was also a woman, with a small dog in her lap. 
She was reputed to be, and was, apparently, in her senses. 
If, however, a certain balance of the mental faculties is essen- 
tial to sanity, perhaps the question would be, "Who is sane? 
and not Who is insane ? 

Within the reflections thus suggested, there is vast room for 



304 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

that Charity which " hopeth all things." A sensible woman 
would never twine her affections around a poodle, so long as 
there is an orphan child in the world. A modest woman 
should never carry one in public. The remarks of every 
crowd of men she passes, if overheard, would redden her whole 
face with an indelible blush. You are aware how habitu- 
ally I defend the motives, the moral integrity of a defamed 
man or woman. How nothing short of overt acts, proved and 
indisputable, will convince me that a sane being can be so 
silly as to do, deliberately and iotentionally, what he believes, 
at the time and under the circumstances, to be wrong. This 
charity does not, however, prevent me from seeing the follies 
and foibles of mankind, and searching for my own. 

I know that a good woman is not necessarily a lady. I 
meet such frequently, who are slovenly in dress, assume un- 
graceful positions, talk too loud, and have not sufficient polite- 
ness to thank a gentleman for an act of courtesy. A lady, is 
an embodiment of delicacy, tact, modesty, and polished good- 
ness. Take Mrs. P. to a mirror, look therein, and you will 
see one; but whether it be yourself or her, this deponent 
saith not. 

I know also that there are good men who are not gentlemen. 
I have seen such, who would stare at the stranger as he passed, 
look over his shoulder while writing, greet him with no cor- 
diality when he introduced himself, and not even ask him to 
take a seat in their store or their house, who would be aston- 
ished to learn that he had hesitated to "make himself at 
home;" who could never be made, save by experience, to 
understand that the first advances of the sensitive stran2;er are 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 305 

his Rubicon, the fordiDg of which requires effort, but results 
in a nonchalance that calmly determines to overlook, contemn, 
or fight, according to subsequent developments. A gentleman, 
is one who, quickly and gracefully, in small things and great, 
does unto others as he would have them do unto him. 

I have seen some who were born gentlemen. C. and T., 
raised in the midst of great disadvantages, proved themselves 
to be of this class. Specimens of this kind are, however, 
exceedingly rare. Most gentlemen have been made such by 
early training and association. As a man, who did not learn 
to read when a boy, will rarely ever spell correctly, so a man 
who did not have gentlemanly graces instilled into him when 
young, rarely ever becomes a gentleman. However good, they 
lack the sensitiveness, the tact that instantly realizes the posi- 
tion and feelings of another. Hence, they cannot learn the 
minor secrets of propriety, or acquire the effortless, unobtru- 
sive, and invisible art of making a companion or guest feel 
easy. These reflections have been suggested by observing 
my fellow-travellers, and considering the effect of hotels, 
steamboats, and railroads, upon their manners. 

Opportunity always improves the sensible. Such are fully 
aware, that a flying trip to Philadelphia or New York, re- 
peated annually, does not render them learned or polished. 
They do not mistake painted castaways for merchants' wives. 
Their knowledge of human nature instructs them that good 
dwells in the sea of hearts, which rocks between the isthmus 
of defenceless, tempted Poverty, and that of a self-indulgent, 
do-nothing aristocracy ; that even upon these narrow domains, 
Virtue battles with Vice, and often gains glorious victories. 
2G* 



806 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

The more this class of men travel, the more they learn. And 
the more they learn, the less vain, the more modest, the more 
teachable, the less bigoted they become. Travelling, there- 
fore, improves them. 

There is, however, another, and, I am pleased to think, a 
much smaller class, •whose members had better have remained 
tied to their mother's apron, or under the sweet influences of 
wife and children. These are generally quick-witted, sprightly- 
minded persons, who see a good deal, and hear a good deal, 
that others, with good eyes and good ears, travelling the same 
road, at the same time, neither see nor hear. These are they 
who reason from the exception, and not from the rule ; who 
"jump to conclusions,'' and see what they do see clearly, be- 
cause they have not sufficient width of vision even to be aware, 
that the part at which they are looking, is not the whole. 
Hence they are generally glib talkers, and bold assertors, with 
dogmatic convictions. They change repeatedly, and repeatedly 
express views totally at war with one another ; but admit no 
fickleness in themselves, and perceive no incongruity in their 
expressions. They are generally vain, thinking themselves 
smart, and frequently fool wiser people into the same opinion. 
I have discovered so much unexpected good sense in the serious 
and the slow, and been so often astonished by the want of 
depth in the quick-witted, that I would say to our bright-eyed 
buds : Whenever you meet a young man who is very sjjrightJy, 
WATCH, and do not be surprised if, iti the end, you find him 
very silly. 

Travelling teaches such persons much that should be un- 
learned. It makes them showy ; gives them the appearance 



OR; HEART WHISPERS. 307 

of being learned, by storing their memories with " picked up'' 
and undigested information ; confirms their vanity ; augments 
their bigotry; contracts their minds; hardens their hearts; 
and, instead of polishing them with refinement, daubs them 
with impudence. 

Consider these characters — the occasional lady and gentle- 
man; the more numerous, but unpolished good women and 
sensible men ; the less numerous, but sprightly, impudent, and 
vain sillies ; then picture to yourself all the variations, modi- 
fications, and shades of character and physiognomy that lie 
within and between my descriptions of these; remembering 
to keep up the same proportions, and you will see my travel- 
ling companions. 

You will also observe in the crowd one very common-look- 
ing fellow, whose countenance, when not relaxed by a smile, 
appears as solemn as death. He is generally silent ; and when 
silent, is apparently in a brown-study. Now he is muttering 
to himself; now there is a tear in his eye ; now he is smiling ; 
now he is serious again; now some emotion or thought makes 
his face quiver, and his eyes sparkle. Well, that fellow in 
the middle of the car, who looks so common, and seems to 
think himself alone in the desert of Sahara, is your husband. 
"Whatever others may do, he thinks happy thoughts, and has 
his own quiet fun out of his own as well as the eccentricities 
of others. The fool, excuse me for saying so, really believes 
that man may be happy anywhere, in any circumstances ; and 
has the audacity to assert, in opposition to all the old women, 
that happiness is preferable to misery. 

I am waiting here to see two absent gentlemen, and have 



308 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN J 

afternoon and evening before me ; but really must stop writing. 
Would I ever finish ? One tbougbt suggests others in pro- 
fuse and endless succession. Is it wonderful that men who 
live in the midst of cities, making composition a business, can 
issue volume after volume ? 

You say I cannot write too much for you. Doubtless you 
think so ; but when I look over my scrawls, and find it diffi- 
cult to read my own thoughts, freshly penned, I can but won- 
der whether you can read them at all, or, at least, with suffi- 
cient ease to make the perusal agreeable. The misfortune 
with me is, that the better my brain works, the worse my pen 
scratches and blots. So that the very parts which might be 
interesting, are frequently almost illegible. 

Is this letter worse written than usual, or does it seem so to 
me because my attention is directed to it ? There are portions 
that absolutely look horribly hideous. Compare these with 
that fac-simile of Byron's manuscript, beginning, 

" Storm and darkness, ye are wondrous strong, 
And lovely in your strength as is the light 
Of a dark eye in woman," 

and you will, I think, be struck with the similarity. Such 
similarity would disprove the dogma that the handwriting in- 
dicates the character. Could there be two men more dissimi- 
lar than Byron and myself? The one a genius and a misan- 
thrope ; the other a fool and a philanthropist ! 

What a wonderful influence have children upon parents ! 
How they quicken all the senses of the soul ! How they 
make us feel the weight of our responsibilities, great and 
small, not only as parents, but as patriots ! 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 3C,< 

People may joke about it as much as they please, but a 
married candidate would, other things being equal, always re- 
ceive my vote when running against an old bachelor. Unless 
the circumstances are peculiar — unless a widowed mother, 
orphan sisters, or adopted children, depend upon him for sub- 
sistence and education — the latter will begin to deteriorate so 
soon as his bachelorism becomes confirmed — so soon as he 
ceases to be a young man. And this deterioration will pro- 
gress until he attains a selfish, disgraceful, ruinous recklessness; 
or freezes into a statue of icy and polished selfishness. It takes 
a family to break up, to cultivate the soil of the soul. 

As the very least of the effects of a child upon the feelings 
of a father I will mention, that I never felt ashamed of my 
handwriting till Alice began to learn to write. I have written 
to one of the mightiest of mankind, to the greatest of living 
poets, to learned editors, to the most accomplished business- 
men, and recked not of the handwriting. I courted you with 
scratches and blotches, but felt no shame on their account. 
To have, however, to say to a little child, that child being 
mine, ''Take more pains with your writing,'' makes the blush 
mantle my cheek. 

I have felt this so sensibly that I would frequently have 
copied my letters to you, but for two reasons. First, the 
want of time ; secondly, if I copy I will alter and attempt to 
improve, and these alterations and attempted improvements 
might give a formality and stiffness to my correspondence, 
which would not suit the taste of a wife, who desires only love. 

The period for absence is still shortening; I will soon kiss 

you all. Yours affectionately, 

William Atson, 



310 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN^ 



LETTER XXXIX. 

Egotistical. — Confessions. — Is a man bound to hear an inferior preacher? — 
Methodist preachers. — Knott, Chapman, Baskerville. — Thweatt's Por- 
trait. — The Episcopal Church. — An imbecile Episcopal minister. — The 
Liturgy.— The Baptist Church.— The Presbyterian Church.— Two Presby- 
terian ministers. — Predestination and moral agency. — Their children. — 
Humility and charity. — Recapitulation. — And now for home. 

Americus, Geo., September 3, 1856. 

Dear Molly : — I sometimes think my letters to you con- 
tain too mucli about myself, and hesitate to relate trivial per- 
sonal incidents. If however any critic could tell me, either 
how a husband can write letters pleasing to his wife, or how 
any one can keep a ^'journal'' of his own thoughts, associa- 
tions, and acts without making himself prominent therein, he 
would oblige me by imparting the information. I would be 
willing to give such an one a premium — a brass button, a 
barlow knife, a vote for Congress, or something of the sort, 
if he would instruct me Jiow to do both of these things at once, 
without being somewhat egotistical. 

These remarks have been elicited by a dim remembrance of 
what I have previously written, and a present hesitancy to 
relate an occurrence or two connected with my trip. I think, 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 311 

however, I should disgorge these, because my reflections are 
generally so pious, that you might calculate upon seeing a 
saint, when I return, and consequently be very much sur- 
prised to see my old friend the devil accompanying me. The 
other reason, which stimulates me to the disgorgement, is that 
you and I have always differed about the cause, which seems 
to influence every one everywhere with whom I have come 
into disagreeable collision, from childhood's hour to the pre- 
sent moment, to permit me to denounce or insult them with 
impunity. I think it is principally owing to the facts, that I 
do what I do, and say what I say, right from the heart, with- 
out affectation, and with no reference to display; and that 
honest courage, calm, collected, and revengehss, obstinate 
merely in asserting and defending its reserved rights, and 
ever eager, if in error, to make the amende honorable, is 
almost omnipotent, blanching the coward's cheek, arousing 
the love of the brave, and eliciting the admiration and respect 
of both. You contend that the effect in my case is produced, 
either by the terrible aspect, which wrath excited by slight 
provocations gives my countenance, or when the difficulty be- 
comes serious, by that calm solidity of appearance and manner, 
which seems to say, " Come one, come all; I am ready.'' 

Did you ever acknowledge you were mistaken, or alter an 
opinion in your life ? If' not, you will have to do so now ; or 
your woman's ingenuity will have to work laboriously. 

A gentleman in North Carolina grumbled because I took a 
seat by him. I explained to him my reasons for doing so; 
that I had a right to do it; that the car was so full as to render 
it necessary for me to sit by some one ; that I had accidentally 



312 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

gotten into a seat next to him, and saw no peculiar cause for 
changing. This explanation did not satisfy him. He con- 
tinued to grumble. I then said to him ; " I should like to 
know the motive of your conduct. If you desire to get into 
a difficulty, just say so. You have had the good luck to meet 
the very man who will accommodate you.'' He was mum for 
awhile, then began a conversation on a different subject; and 
finally apologized. 

You will reply : " However mild your tone, your counte- 
nance was quivering with wrath, or indicated cool determina- 
tion." That was well said, but how will you explain the 
following ? I took a middle seat in the stage. The contractor 
or agent requested me to accommodate a gentleman, with two 
ladies, and a negro, who had chartered six seats, by yielding 
the one in which I was sitting. I consented, provided he 
would procure me a middle or back seat in the other stage, as 
riding on the front seat makes me sick. This happened at 
night. While the parley was going on, the ladies not having 
as yet made their appearance, some one said to the gentle- 
man, who desired the seat, " / would have it." I replied, 
" You would, would you ? Confound your infernal soul, sup- 
pose you help the gentleman take it V " I. was not talking 
to you," he exclaimed. ^' Yes, but confound you, you were 
talking at me." 

Now let's hear you explain this on your principles, my 
beautiful combatant. It was dark, we could not see each 
other. I was within, and the insulted was outside the stage. 
We did not know each other. The next morning I learned 
he was a passenger, and met him at breakfast. He was a 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 313 

large, fine-looking man, with black wliiskers and martial air. 
It is well lie didn't know how scary I was, or he would have 
''taken after me." But this would have been useless, for 
like all scary animals I am endowed with fleetness. 

These were the chief ruffles upon the current of my temper. 
^' Butter would scarcely have melted in my mouth,'' at any 
other parts of my journey. Talking of the devil and fighting, - 
reminds me of the church and preaching. I have omitted 
but one opportunity of hearing a sermon since leaving home. 
That was at Weldon. I went to the church, saw the congre- 
gation assembled, but that no minister was there, and con- 
cluded, as I needed exercise, to walk about until one arrived. 
Just as I had returned and was going in. Doctor Gr. stated to 
me that two preachers were present, one a good speaker, the 
other below mediocrity; and that he was waiting outside to 
see which would preach. The inferior arose. Remembering 
an idea of Doctor Franklin's, on the subject of hearing in- 
difi'erent sermons, and thinking myself that a ministerial igno- 
ramus has no more right, than any other species of ignoramus, 
to require a freeman to be publicly bored by him, I walked 
away ; and returning to my room read the Bible till bedtime. 
Even you, I presume, will admit the contents of this book to 
be at least equal to those of an ordinary sermon. 

The preacher Gr. and I deserted was a Methodist. Another 
night, in another and larger place, I walked into a finer church 
belonging to the same denomination. A boy of nineteen or 
twenty delivered a sophomoric discourse, which '' the sistei's'* 
seemed to appreciate. With good training, if docile and 
27 



C14 A PEEP BEHIND THE EAMiLY CURTAIN; 

studious, be may in the course of eight or ten years leara to 
preach sufficiently well for men to listen to. 

This uncertainty as to whom or what you will hear is the 
greatest objection to attending the Methodist Church. It can 
and should be removed. No boy, no fool, no retailer of 
Chinese anecdotes, no human monkey, no one destitute of 
sufficient dignity of deportment to hush the sneer of ridicule, 
no one incompetent to teach, or below mediocrity in mental 
capacity or speaking ability, should be licensed to ascend the 
pulpit. 

Eut for the uncertainty alluded to, I should decidedly pre- 
fer attending that Church. Thitherward I should generally 
wend my way, could I calculate upon hearing the word ex- 
pounded by an accomplished Knott, a learned Chapman, or 
even such an one as the strong-minded, original, and eccentric 
Baskerville, who, in a paroxysm of pious wrath, said to his 
lukewarm parishioners, " You are as cold as though you were 
at the North Pole, in the centre of a spot where icebergs have 
been dashing together for a million of years, and if you don't 
stir up you'll be damned, and Fll he damned, if I don't tell 
you of it.'' 

I should never attend any other fold, if every Sabbath found 
me in hearing of the sonorous voice of that lovable shepherd, 
the Rev. H. C. Thweatt. I see him now — almost a fac-simile 
in appearance of the noble-looking Fillmore. The only per- 
ceptible physical difference being that which indicates their 
mental diversity. The ex-President's eyes have a bright, calm 
expression. The Preacher's a restless, imaginative, star-like 
twinkle. One was made for the Pulpit, the other for the Chair 



I 



OR; HEART WHISPERS. 315 

of State. Botli are humble men, anxious to do tlieir duty. 
One is known to fame, and accustomed to admirers. The 
other would be astonished to hear, that a travelled man, a 
man who has heard Soule, Andrews, Payne, Stockton, Maflfit, 
Durbin, Bethune, Skinner, Tyng, Page, Otey, Hawks, and a 
host of others equally gifted, pronounces him superior to them 
all in pulpit eloquence. Amiable, honest, modest, and faith- 
ful, he thanks God that he has been reduced from wealth to 
poverty, and for the sake of souls, and a hundred dollars per 
annum, slips away from the brilliant centres of civilization, 
where Affluence, Genius, Fame, and Fashion would delight to 
do him homage, to scatter pearls before backwoods audiences. 

Does not the memory of this scholar destitute of pedantry, 
this Chesterfield unconscious of his graces, this conversation- 
alist modest in the midst of thoughtful fluency, this orator 
without vanity, this minister without bigotry, this meek man, 
this true Christian, carry you back to the time, when I sat in 
a lowly church, casting amid the pauses of his eloquence sly 
glances at a lovely maiden's face ? 

Let's hear him again. He is in the pulpit. The prayer 
and the hymn are over. He reads his text. There is a 
simple grace and majesty in every movement. He begins the 
sermon with quiet animation. He is saying now what he 
intended to say. He can't keep at that long. There is a 
struggle. He does not stop a moment, but an observant e3'e 
discovers, that he is battling with a multitude of mighty 
thoughts that pray for utterance. AVords rush out, arguments 
reverberate, images flash and sparkle. It won't do. The more 
he struggles the hotter gets the inner fire. The mental engine 



816 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

will burst, if steam is not ''let off'^ more rapidly. lie yields, 
diverges from his plan, and lets his vigorous fancy loose. His 
face reddens, the veins of his temples Sistend, his eyes quiver 
and glow with intenser brilliancy; and the church is filled 
with the finest of human voices, a voice loud, deep, clear, 
and musical. He is in the midst of a ten minutes' sentence. 
Clause after clause — clause after clause, beautiful and precise, 
has flowed Choate-like from his lips, till the labyrinth of 
classes begins to perplex, bewilder, and alarm the auditory. 
Still on he goes, no hesitation, no pause, no apparent breath- 
ing, deeper and deeper into the wordy entanglement — the 
labyrinthine sentence. He is gone. 

Don't be alarmed. It is Leviathan sporting in the sea's 
blue depths. It is Thweatt merely rioting for a moment in 
the luxury of brilliant thoughts and magic fluency. 

He recoUeds his audience, toys for awhile with the naiads 
sporting in the coral caves, as if loath to leave them, then 
slowly begins to ascend by an untried route, and climbs by 
clause after clause of brighter thoughts and richer verbal gems 
to the aerial and sunlit climax. Some speakers open their 
mouths, and the words pour out. There is no apparent intel- 
lect or soul working behind. The organs of speech seem to 
be the manufactory of the ideas. The sentences have a 
mechanical sound. No such person, however sensibly or 
fluently he talks, can be an orator. The audience must per- 
ceive mind and soul at work during the discourse. Words 
apparently from any other than this ethereal manufactory 
never reach the hearer's heart. Thweatt's ideas flashing 



OR^ HEART WHISPERS. 



ar 



from his soul reach the souls of others before their spiritual 
aroma escapes. 

The divinest intellectual treats I have ever enjoyed, con- 
sisted in matching the workings of his mental machinery; in 
following his dives into the sea of thought ; in wondering at 
his classic and victorious fluency; in admiring the almost 
motionless dignity of his person, and the still ever changing 
manner and look ; in drinking with the ears his phrases of 
chastened beauty, conducted by the varying organ-tones of his 
melodious voice. 

The pleasure of these remembrances of Thweatt are aug- 
mented by the reflection, that you have enjoyed the variations 
of his pulpit-music ; that you have followed the gentler flow 
of his thoughts, participated in the pleasantness of his deep 
descents, and felt the ecstasy of his efi'ulgent climaxes. 

I hope he will neither die, deteriorate, or "backslide" 
before our children have an opportunity of hearing, and are 
old enough to appreciate their father's and their mother's 
favourite. 

CuTHBERT, Geo., September 5. 

The fact that we cannot always hear such men as the friends 
alluded to, and the uncertainty as to who and what we will 
hear at the Methodist Church, combined with the visage of a 
certain Episcopal lady of my acquaintance, and the certainty 
that while you may not be dazzled by eloquence, you need not 
apprehend being annoyed by impudent ignorance, or deafened 
by boisterous stupidity at the Episcopal Church, reduces my 
predilections for the former to an equilibrium with those for 
the latter. 
27* 



318 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

There is however do doubt, but that the greater freedom 
of the Methodist ministers from the restraints of forms, the 
excitabiHty which the tastes of their membership encourage, 
and the circumstance of their being ^^ called to,'' not educated 
for the ministry, elicit the eloquence I have extolled, and 
cause the deficiency of which I have complained. They are 
calculated to exhibit the weakness of the weak, and the 
strength of the strong. In them may be discovered the rea- 
son why eloquent Methodist divines so far outnumber those of 
any other denomination. They do this in proportion to num- 
bers. But when this excess is considered in reference to 
learning and ability, the proportion surpasses computation. 

I have been disappointed but once, in attending the Epis- 
copal Church. In Columbia, S. C, I heard a minister, whose 
voice was weak and indistinct, whose physiognomy was almost 
idiotic, whose manner was fidgety, whose mind was imbecile, 
discourse in an elegant church to a congregation highly polished 
and doubtless very wealthy. He was the pastor, and the dis- 
agreeableness of hearing him was mitigated by the reflection, 
that his parishioners must be kind-hearted, or they would not 
at one of our principal seats of learning, and with the money- 
power in their possession, listen Sunday after Sunday to the 
inaudible mutterings of an old man, merely because he is 
amiable. 

This however was an exception, and under the quieting in- 
fluence of age and wife I am becoming fonder of the Episcopal 
worship. The solid splendour of the liturgy, the well regulated 
forms, the fine music, the good English of the sermon, are 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 319 

more pleasing to me now, than when in youth I admired 
nothing of this kind, that did not startle, arouse, electrify me. 

Americus, Geo., September 7. 

Notwithstanding the foregoing remark about the liturgy, 
do not suppose I ever go through it except in half hammond 
" style,'' that is, by a hop, skip, and a jump. It is singular 
how any sensible person can follow the lead of the minister 
directly through it. Every sentence is so suggestive of 
thought. 

^' The Lord is in his holy temple.'' Is it possible ? Can 
it be that he, who built the universe out of nothing, who holds 
the ocean in the hollow of his hand, who rides upon the storm 
and directs the whirlwind, who made and loves, and will judge 
us, is present, is in our very midst, is looking right at us, 
hearing our words, seeing our persons and our hearts ? It is 
true that Ubiquity is His home, but is it true that he is pecu- 
liarly near and peculiarly observant of us, when assembled in 
the temple dedicated to his worship; that prayer increases 
His proximity to us ? Do not let us argue such a point. We 
know that churches do good, and that prayer blesses the heart. 
If the doctrine indicated be an illusion, it is a harmless one. 
Rob us not of its purifying pleasures. 

By the time these or other thoughts have gleamed like 
lightning through my mind, the minister and congregation 
are several verses ahead. Of these I have not heard a word. 
I grit my teeth, say to Thought, '' Be still and listen," then 
find the place, and begin again. Probably something in the 
first line re-excites this disobedient attendant. Again I check 



320 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

myself, ^^ catcli up," rivet my attention, but before a page is 
perused Thought spreads her wings, looks at the minister, and 
at the congregation as a body, and as individuals, applies in a 
variety of ways what is being read to their appearance, their 
manners, their peculiarities, and then on the melody of some 
sublimer expression mounts to the blue ether. Thus, in read- 
ing, criticising, thinking, the hour passes away, and the ser- 
vice ends. 

But to continue. The Baptist Church was never a favourite 
of mine. A variety of circumstances produced this effect. 
The main reason, however, originates in the stress they lay 
upon the form of baptism. I can understand how forms may 
be necessary, as initiatory ceremonies into any society, on 
account of the solemn and public, and therefore memorable 
obligation, an obligation neither to be forgotten, evaded, or 
denied, which it imposes upon the initiated, the influence of 
this person's example upon those who witness the initiation, 
and the power it gives the society into which he has been 
initiated over him, who thus pledges allegiance to it. 

In this light the supposed initiatory ceremonies of Masonry, 
of Odd Fellowship, of Baptism, and giving the hand in the 
Methodist, of Baptism and Confirmation in the Episcopal, and 
of other or additional ones adopted by other branches of the 
Church, may be vindicated. But that the mode of a form, 
that mode being so indistinctly described in the Law Book as 
to admit of disputation, should be essential to salvation, to 
admittance into the Church Triumphant, is an ethical principle, 
which I never had the mental or moral capacity either to com- 
prehend or appreciate. It is a doctrine so utterly repugnant 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 321 

to my ideas of common sense and common justice^ that I never 
deemed it worthy of more than a cursory examination. 

As the Baptist Church occupies the fourth place, it follows 
that the Presbyterian comes third, on the list of my prefer- 
ences. The clergy of this church possess as much, and pro- 
bably more learning than the Episcopal, and are as free from 
the trammels of service-forms as the Methodist. Occupying 
this medium position, it would not be unreasonable to presup- 
pose that here pulpit-oratory attained perfection. This, how- 
ever, is not the case. The eloquence of its ministers is always 
more or less chilled by the mannerism of " the schools.'^ This 
mannerism is doubtless to some extent also the result of the 
rigidity of their doctrines. Another drawback upon the plea- 
sure of attending their ministrations is their excessively long 
prayers with vain repetitions. It is mysterious that a body of 
conscientious, kind-hearted men should age after age habitually 
indulge in this prayerful prolixity to the torment of their 
brethren, and in direct violation of the unequivocal command 
of him, whom they wish others to obey. It is no less a mys- 
tery that the membership do not rebel against this impious 
infliction. Nevertheless, the only sermons worthy of special 
note, to which I have listened since my departure, were deli- 
vered by Presbyterian ministers. 

One was a doctrinal sermon, and the most liberal I have 
ever heard from one of that denomination. I thought at one 
time the preacher was going to cast one of my pearls before 

the ladies and gentlemen present. He however didn't 

quite succeed. 

When a boy, I was fond of discussing predestination and 



322 A TEEP BEKIXD THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

moral agency. Before ceasing to be one, I stopped tlie dis- 
cussion iu this way. The existence of a God, who is omni- 
scient, is a fact, which can only be denied by an Atheist. No 
enlightened and sensible man would willingly worship a being 
of finite information. Foreknowledge is necessarily contained 
in Omniscience. 

Man is also a free moral agent. This is not a subject for 
argument. It is a matter of consciousness. I am as conscious 
of my moral agency as I am of my own existence. If any 
man has not this consciousness, per/ia^s he is a machine. 

These two facts, Foreknowledge and free agency, or moral 
responsibility, seem totally irreconcilable. They are irrecon- 
cilable by human intellect. But it does not follow, because a 
finite mind cannot comprehend their compatibility, that the 
facts are not true. Much less does it follow, that because 
man has not sense enough to understand how it can be efi"ected, 
that the All- Wise should be incompetent to devise a plan of 
moral responsibility for his creatures, simpli/ Lecouse He is 
All-Wise. 

At a later period of life I arrived at a second conclusion. 
This relates to the limitations, the boundaries of man's free 
agency. Upon this, as upon other subjects, there is an almost 
universal tendency to run into opposite extremes. At one 
time erroneous views concerning it came very near plungino- 
me into bitterness, into misanthropy, into pharisaism. 

The fact is, the territory of human freedom, and conse- 
quently of human accountability, is very limited, and no being, 
save the Omniscient, can define its shadowy boundaries. They 
are invisible to human eyes. 



OU, HEART WHISPERS. 



323 



The proper uuclcrstaiiding of this makes Charity easy, and 
reveals the wisdom of the command " Judge not/' 

For the sake of illustration I will state a case. I am not 
aware that I deliberately and intesitionally violate any of the 
ten commandments. I am now ready and willing, when in- 
formed thereof, to make ample restitution to the utmost of my 
ability for every wrong, great or small, I have ever committed. 
You may say this is pharisaical. Admitting it to be so, I 
would rather be a Pharisee than a liar. But it is not so. 
Zaccheus said the same thing. Was Zaccheus a Pharisee? 
At any rate Christ not only did not reprove, but applauded 
him. Pharisaism consists in thinking yourself worthier than 
others. This self-complacency I do not indulge. You know 
one, bound to me by affection's ties, who violates delibe- 
rately almost every one of the commandments. Yet it is evi- 
dent, even to us, that he makes occasional and violent efforts 
to reform. Now he is so constituted that he is tempted to do 
wrong. I am so constituted that I am incUned to do right, 
and the inclination becomes irresistible if the duty to be per- 
formed be either disagreeable or dangerous. The luxury of 
maintaining my own good opinion of myself is a stimulus to 
action, so strong as to make every trial seem pleasant. What 
is my duty, is witli me the primary question. It is the nevoi'- 
ceasing cry of my soul. Thus you perceive that self-gratifica- 
tion inclines me to do what I think right, and tempts the per- 
son spoken of to do what he thinks wrong. Now will any 
human being have the presumption to assert, that his self- 
Bacrifices, his struggles to do no worse, are not as great as mine 



324 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN; 

to do righty that I am worthy of greater rewards, that I am in 
the eye of our Judge morally better than he is ? 

While, therefore, I have no fear of being punished for 
doing well, I entertain a cheering hope that those, who in 
the economy of Providence have been so constituted, or so 
educated, as to be mean and miserable, but who have struggled 
earnestly, and to the extent of their capacity, against their 
meanness and misery, will be equally rewarded. 

Thus you perceive that my doctrine is very humbling to 
human pride, removes bigotry, vanity, self-glorification, phari- 
saism, prevents the necessity for lying or whining, when an 
honest person speaks of himself, and opens the heart for the 
ingress of the angel Charity. 

I am fully aware that I cannot see an inch before my nose, 
that I have been all my life walking generally in a dim twi- 
light, and frequently in utter darkness, along the tortuous 
edges of precipitous and jagged precipices, that my own undi- 
rected, unaided efforts have been ever too feeble to save me 
for a moment. I am compelled by constitution to act from 
principles, and to follow them to their legitimate results. If 
I had been led by education into the wrong road, I should 
never have attempted to deceive myself. There would have 
been no ^^ hemming and hawing.'' I should have been \hQ. 
calmest, the most determined of rascals. My primary ques- 
tion would have been. What villany will pay ? A dishonest 
mother, a less judicious father, might have led or driven me 
into this miserable condition. Do I deserve any credit for 
having such parents ? Did I make them ? 

Even as it is, I have stood upon the brink of a bitter, a 



OR; HEART WHISPERS. 325 

defiant, a scoffing stoicism. Looking back upon the deyious 
and dangerous path over which I have been led by an invisi- 
ble Hand, is it wonderful that standing still within the land 
of shadows, I should feel humble, grateful, fearless, joyful? 
Is it singular, that in the midst of gloomy circumstances, the 
gloom deepened by the "bad news" contained in your letter 
just received, my soul should be filled with that contentment 
of which humility, gratitude, courage, joy, faith are the con- 
stituent elements, and the possession of which has resulted 
from the judicious rewards and kind chastisements of my 
Heavenly Father. 

I am afraid I have not made myself understood, but this 
letter, prolonged to an unusual length by an unusual amount 
of leisure, caused by waiting here "to head'' a scoundrel, 
must be closed. 

The other minister, of whom I designed speaking, had but 
little of the mannerism objected to, did not pray excessively 
long, and combined Presbyterian eloquence of style with 
Methodistical zeal of expression. His voice and gesticulation 
resembled those of that prince of stump speakers — the elo- 
quent Haskell. But for his references to his manuscript I 
should have pronounced him a brilliant and effective orator. 

He was very much afraid that people would think so much 
of Heaven, that they would forget Hell; that their attention 
would become so riveted upon the jasper walls, the crystal 
pavements, the pearly streams, the fruit upon the tree of Life, 
the gorgeous radiance of the beatific realm, and on the mercy 
of Him, whose presence is its light, that they would forget 
His justice, forget the worm that gnaws for ever, the pit of 
28 



826 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAiMILY CURTAIN} 

eternal vengeance, the sea of fire that is never quenched, upon 
whose sulphurous waves, not only the wilful sinner, but the 
blind that cannot read, the deaf that cannot hear, the lame 
and helpless that cannot climb upon the platform of orthodoxy, 
will toss, and writhe, and shriek through the interminable 
annals of an agonizing eternity. 

The fact of my inability to mount the platform did not pre- 
vent me from enjoying the wri things of the shipwrecked mari- 
ners, and the scenery which surrounded them. A beautiful 
fancy sketch well expressed and well acted always delights me. 

It is almost needless to remind you, that I believe in sustain- 
ing not only every church, but every society not evidently 
immoral. They all doubtless do vastly more good than harm. 
Upon this, however, I have not time to expatiate. Neither 
have I time to tell you why there is so much, and no more 
religion in the Episcopal Church ; nor how it is that a weak 
Methodist can believe himself to be a sincere Christian to-day, 
perpetrate some deliberate sin to-night, and be truly converted 
in his own estimation to-morrow, having at the same time an 
indistinct prescience that he will sin again the succeeding 
night, and be again converted the ensuing day ; nor why it is 
that a Presbyterian, who is a rascal, is the calmest, the most 
deliberate, the most polished, the most systematic, the deepest, 
the shrewdest, the vilest, the hardest to catch and convict, of 
all hypocrites; nor why the Pages, the Knotts, the Grays, 
the Millikins, the Graces, the honest sensible preachers and 
privates of all branches of The Church, Koman Catholic in- 
cluded, resemble so much not only each other, but the honest 
and sensible men of the world. 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 327 

And now this long correspondence ends. In a few days, 
too, will terminate this common-place tour; a tour extending 
through twelve months, yet checkered by no singular or start- 
ling event. Still it has been very pleasant to me ; and my 
chief pleasure has consisted in attempting to make it pleasant 
to you. 

^ Have my efforts been successful ? Have the trivial inci- 
dents related, my own misdemeanors, my dry jokes, my sur- 
face criticisms, interested or amused you ? Have my uncon- 
nected thoughts — garbled extracts from my system of theo- 
logy — cheered you amid the labours, the responsibilities caused 
by my absence — labours and responsibilities uncongenial and 
oppressive to one so delicate and so sensitive as yourself? 
Have these thoughts hurriedly written, these extracts rapidly 
transcribed from the heart, contained any sentiments calcu- 
lated to lead you, or through you the little ones, astray ? For 
myself I can take calmly any necessary risk, but the respon- 
sibility of thinking for the young should make an intellectual 
giant tremble. 

I hope I have taught nothing dangerously erroneous, no- 
thing incompatible with the command ^' Work out your own 
salvation with fear and trembling;'^ or, as I would interpret 

* it, with docility and caution. The kernel of all 1 have de- 
signed to teach is, that the creature and the Creator are under 
reciprocal obligations; that if man does his part God will do 
his; that if the former, in an humble, persevering, energetic, 
honest struggle after truth, is led into error, the latter will 
bring him into the right way, before that error leads him into 
an inextricable moral dilemma ; and that no human being need 



328 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN J 

be miserable, need fear anytbing in the Heaven above, or tbe 
Hell beneath, wbo can honestly say, " I am habitually trying n 
to do my best." 

It may be well for one, whose mind acts as rapidly and as 
decisively as yours, to remember that I never finish studying 
any debateable question ; that I am always balancing proba- 
bilities, and however firmly I may act, or however much I 
may risk upon an opinion, I am ever and anon reviewing my 
premises, re-examining the logic that led to my conclusion, 
and constantly watching for new rays of light. 

Americus, Geo., September 8. 

And now for home, sweet home, attended and tilled by 
hirelings, whose affectionate obedience excites my esteem 
and gratitude, surrounded by kind, agreeable, and beloved 
neighbours, blessed with the principal advantages of the city 
and with all the quietude, the pleasantness, the purity, the 
freedom of the country. I see it now through the shortening 
vista, with its white house amid the tall oaks upon the hill. 

It is not, however, upon the homestead that my thoughts 
love to linger. It would be delightful, it would add greatly 
to the pleasure of my return, to regard it as a fixed residence, 
a place at which to rear our children, and to which, wherever 
they roamed, their memories would reverently point as the 
play-ground of their youth, the home of Ma and Pa. 

But this can not be. You say ^^sell;" my judgment says 
*' sell ;'' and necessity, looming up in the distance, repeats the 
mandate. 

It is not, therefore, a home of houses and land on which 



OR, HEART WHISPERS. 329 

my thoughts fondly dwell ; but the home of wife and child- 
ren. My heart yearns for, yet timidly shrinks from, the 
ecstasy, the crisis of the meeting. Some calamity may have 
befallen me — one of you may not be there to rejoice at my 
arrival. 

It is the 20th of September, or thereabouts. A traveller 
walks up the hill, towards the white house amid the tall oaks. 
The negroes smilingly exclaim : '^ Yonder's Marse William ;" 
the fleet, the affectionate, the enthusiastic Alice — the first 
born ; too old to be praised, but not the less beloved, rushes 
into the wanderer's embrace. The lovely little Anna follows ; 
and, while she sits on one arm, and the timid-looking, half- 
forgetful Nellie on the other, the lips of mother and father, 
husband and wife, have a delicious, a joyous meeting. 

YourS; 

William Atson. 



Among the manuscripts of our author, is a small volume, 
written partly by pen and partly by pencil, styled " A Book 
of Thoughts and Talk." 

A few extracts from it will be found in the Appendix. One 
of the more recently written of these is so appropriate a finale 
to the preceding letters, that the writer thinks it best to 
insert it here. 

October 5, 1856, Bothwell. 
At home, wife and children well and around me. 
I have never heard any music equal to the warbling of 
Jenny Lind, save the artless prattle of a sweet-voiced child. 
28* 



830 A PEEP BEHIND THE FAMILY CURTAIN. 

If the sweet- voiced child be beautiful as a cheiiibj the vision 
and the tones would move any heart not palsied by the icy 
influence of selfishness. 

I am looking at, and listening to, such a one now. She is 
running around — she is climbing about me — she is in my lap 
— the golden hair dishevelled — the jetty eyebrows and eyelashes 
contrasting beautifully with the light locks and the fair rose- 
tinted complexion — the large, dark blue eyes, brightly beaming 
— the face irridescent with smiles — the tongue incessantly prat- 
tling inconceivable music. Another little one has joined in the 
sport. She is somewhat older, with eyes as bright, and hair and 
complexion of slightly darker hue — the beauty of baby ways, 
and the melody of baby tones, still lingering about her. Both 
are tormenting me as I write. I am sometimes half provoked ; 
but the bright glances, the persuasive ways, and the music 
tones manacle me with a strange, sweet spell. I am helpless 
— I cannot drive the tiny tormentors away. I cannot termi- 
nate the delicious annoyance. " Mother," " sister,'' will you 
not come to my relief? Will you not coax them from me ? 



FINIS. 



EXTRACTS 



''A BOOK OF THOUGHTS AND TALK." 

BY WILLIAM ATSON. 



EXTRACTS 



FROM 



A BOOK OF THOUGHTS AND TALK." 



THE HEIGHT OF INCONSISTENCY. 

To pay for your sisters, daughters, wives, to see indelicate 
acts, and hear indelicate remarks; and then object to the Rev. 
J. L. Chapman's book, " Fashion and Consequence/' because 
it draws faint pictures of these things. 



A QUESTION ABOUT THE SEXES. 

A MAN, not wholly depraved, would blush to see a fellow-man 
expose his person in the presence of woman. How is it, then, 
that women do not blush at mimic exposures of themselves by 
proxy, in the presence of staring gentlemen ? 



(333) 



834 EXTRACTS FROM 



ANSWER TO THE FOREGOING QUERY. 

The reason is, tliat woman is purer tlian man. Man is an 
active, woman is a passive being. Unless previously corrupted, 
neither waltzing, nor improper theatrical, nor any other mo- 
derately objectionable exhibitions, excite impure emotions 
within her. She will attach no indelicate ideas to them. 

The fact, however, that Chapman, a preacher, and Byron, 
who was not very pious, as well as some other sensible men, 
who belong to neither of these classes, do regard these things 
as indelicate, is, it seems to me, sufficient to prevent modest 
women from participating in, or encouraging them; and to 
cause mothers, fathers, brothers, to say to their unsuspecting 
daughters and sisters : '' It is unnecessary to waltz, or to walk 
away up to the theatre in company with a young gentleman, to 
see one of your sex expose herself. Some people think it 
immodest. It may or it may not be ; but unless duty abso- 
lutely demands the sacrifice, young ladies should avoid even 
the appearance of immodesty." 



ADVERTISEMENT. 

The Rev. Thomas Vanity, D.D., Author, &c., will preach a 
discourse on next Sabbath, at 11 o'clock, A. M., at Blank 
Church, '^on Astronomy,'' "The Locality of Heaven and 
Hell," "Slavery," or some such outr^ and interesting subject. 

The Reverend Doctor will be particularly pleased to see 



^'A BOOK OF THOUGHTS AND TALK." 335 

the sopliomoric portion of the community — those who think 
they knowj but do not ; as it will be easy for the well informed 
to perceive that the dull and silly parts of the discourse are 
original ; and that the startling facts, the new developments, 
the peculiar constructions, the eloquent flights, are old and 
plagiarized. 



TALKING IS NOT ARGUING. 

A GLIB talker will frequently perplex a man of good infor- 
mation and fixed principles ; and advocate a bad cause or a 
wrong idea successfully, with ignorant or unreflecting auditors, 
by the multiplicity of his plausible arguments and apparently 
appropriately applied facts and quotations. Such a talker will 
lorithe and leave, if you obstinately, but good-humouredly 
hold him to the point in dispute. 

I was travelling on a steamboat with Governor J., of N., 
who conversed fluently and pleasantly. He was an old politi- 
cian, and his face was consequently hard. I let him talk for 
a day and a half on his favourite topic. All this time I ap- 
peared very modest, acting as a sort of Know-Nothing, and 
merely asking a question for information once in a while. At 
length, thinking it best to halter him, I said : '^ Governor, all 
you have said sounds very well. It may, or it may not, be 
true ; but admitting it to be so, it does not seem to me to 
prove what you are attempting to prove." From that moment 
I held him to the disputed point. Old hard-face coloured — 
the crowd smiled — the debate ended. 



336 EXTRACTS FROM 

" The London Times says Turkey is a sick man*' 

" We rather think it is a sick Turkey J' 

The London Times made the remark attributed to it about 
three years ago. The editor of ^^ The Commercial'^ made the 
above comment upon \t just five days ago. 

A wealthy and enterprising Western gentleman of my ac- 
quaintance, who did not learn how to spell when young, went out 
hunting, after arriving at years of maturity, and got lost j his 
clothes, I suppose, torn by the briars, and his face and hands 
scratched. On being questioned about his delay and condition, 
he replied : '^ I got into 2i preliminary ^ from which I found it 
difl&cult to obstruct myself." 

A witty young friend related this in the presence of some 
young ladies — the father of one of them being in the room. 
The young folks laughed, and proceeded to chit-chat on other 
subjects. At the expiration of half an hour they were inter- 
rupted by the old gentleman, who had been in a '^ brown-study" 
all the time, exclaiming: "It's very strange Mr. Watson 
couldn't think of the word extricated' 

Now, if Mr. Walter's intellect was considered a slow coach 
for taking only thirty minutes to think of a three-syllable 
word, what must we think of the intellectual speed of the 
editor of " The Commercial," who has taken three years to 
remember and connect two words, both combined, containing 
only a trio of syllables ? 



A BOOK OF THOUGHTS AND TALK." 337 



A MINISTER CAN BE SAVED. 

I BELIEVE it possible for a minister of tlie gospel to be saved. 
Though, after he ^^gets the hang" of preaching, the allied 
powers, Love of Ease, Self-indulgence, Self-Complacency, Van- 
ity, and Bigotry, separately or combined, according to the resist- 
ance expected, are apt to creep into the outer bulwarks of his 
soul, narcotize it, excite pleasant dreams of personal holiness, 
make his eyes a fountain of tears for erring neighbours, and, 
while he is thus sleeping, and dreaming, and shedding tears 
of sympathy, take the entire fortress, and softly bind him 
hand and foot with chains of adamant, covered with silk, and 
keep him a prisoner till death comes and casts him into outer 
darkness. 



ADVICE TO A YOUNG BRIDEGROOM. 

Adhere to your marriage vow, young bridegroom, if you 
wish to be happy. ^'Keep yourself only unto" your young 
bride j and, though not chaste, you will become so in act and 
in heart. Love her, cherish her, provide for her reasonable 
wants, make personal sacrifices to render her at least as com- 
fortable as yourself, and you will find your soul expanding, 
Selfishness yielding. Benevolence and Charity coming in. 
Children smiling, lisping, prattling, playing around your 
knees, calling you pa, and trusting you for daily bread, will 
hasten the departure of the evil, and the ingress of the good. 

If you don't *Mook sharp" you will be regenerated. If you 
29 



338 EXTRACTS FROM 

don't take care, you will he liappi/. Hun from home to the 
theatre, the billiard-room, the club, or some other such place, 
or you will be caught in one or both of these ^^ snaps." 

Preachers are good in their place, and some of them have, 
doubtless, been '^called/' but women and children are God's 
created missionaries to man. 



C, ALABAMA. 

I NEVER stopped here before ; yet this village is haunted by 
images that were engraved upon my boyish fancy. 

A cousin, the namesake and playmate of my father, once 
resided here. He travelled from home, retired to bed at the 
usual hour without uttering a complaint, and was found, the 
next morning, lying placidly in the cold composure of death. 

Once sparkled here a beautiful, intelligent, and wealthy 
girl, and a young and accomplished physician. The girl was 
fascinating, lively, impnident, perhaps guilty. The phj-sician 
took, or was supposed to have taken, advantage of her unsus- 
pecting confidence. Suspicion cast a shadow upon her charac- 
ter. She ceased to be a belle, and married a poor and lazy 
man, who taught me '^Caesar.'' 

The white garments of the bride were soon exchanged for 
Death's snowy vestments. My old teacher, the husband of a 
month, died a few years ago. The doctor still stands high for 
intellectual ability, but for nothing else. He has his reward ; 
having descended through dishonour and dissipation into an 
old age of odious inefficiency and unaspiring misery. 



A BOOK OF THOUGHTS AND TALK." 339 



THE WAY GOD TEACHES SCHOOL. 

Preachers ia their ministrations are prone to forget the 
present, and to direct the attention of the people too exclu- 
sively to the contemplation of future rewards and punishments. 
The folly of this may be illustrated by a remark of my little 
Alice. When two or three years old, she committed some 
trivial peccadillo in the presence of Miss Ann, an amiable, 
intelligent, and beloved orphan ward of mine, and said, ^^ Please 
don't tell pa.'' Miss Ann remarked, '^ Suppose I do not tell 
your pa, God knows it." ^' Oh," replied Alice, " I don't care 
anything about that — He won't tell on me." Now the great 
majority of men and women are nothing but grown-up children. 
They do not reflect or reason ; and if you skip the actual pre- 
sent in your arguments, if you do not hold up right before 
them the reward and the punishment, the candy in one hand, 
and the switch in the other, slow will be your progress in teach- 
ing them the practice of good. 

This is the principle upon which God conducts his school, 
both in the moral and physical department. 



FLOGGING. 

Don't suppose from what I have said that I believe in much 
punishment. One who punishes judiciously, wisely blending 
explanations, reasonings, firmness, and affection, will not have 
to punish often or severely. A frequent resort to the rod indi- 



340 EXTllACTS FROM ■ 

cates unskilful management. A little firmness and a great 
deal of affection will conquer the worst child or the worst 
slave. The admixture recommended, properly administered, 
is invincible. 



THE LITTLE GIRLS— GOD BLESS THEM. 

Telling the preceding anecdote of Alice, reminds of an im- 
promptu sermon by Doctor Booth's little Anna, which embodies 
in one sentence all that can be sensibly said in demonstration 
of the possibility of the resurrection. 

When not quite three years old she swallowed a dime, and 
on being asked if she was not afraid it would kill her, replied, 
"What if it does? God made me, and lie can make me 
acfain.^' 

Relating this instance of childish sprightliness, evokes the 
image of the thinly- clad, pale-faced, shivering, sweet little 
New York girl, who, unused to kindness, looked up into the 
benevolent countenance of her lovely benefactress, and said, 
" Ai'e you God's wife f^ 



SCEPTICAL. 

You are sceptical, are you ? So am I. Let us, however, 
keep the ten commandments. That will not hurt us, no matter 
what theory death proves to be correct. 

Though materialism be true, and our souls be destined to 
inherit only annihilation, still it is pleasant while the heart 
beats to let it beat with holy emotions, and whilst the brain 



•*A BOOK OF THOUGHTS AND TALK." 341 

paints, to let it paint a picture radiant with the hues of an 
imaginary immortality ; and in the midst of the radiance high 
over all^ a good and almighty friend, connected to angels 
human and heavenly ; and to us humble loiterers in this dark 
valley by a spiritual girdle composed of Faith, and Love, and 
Hope. 

K— — 

BROOKS AND SUMNER. A PRESCRIPTION FOR DIS- 
UNIONISTS.* 

It is difficult to suppose that a man of well balanced mind 
wouh think it wise to defend a state loilh his cane, which 
could be defended hy its history. Nor would a man of this 
kind be apt to conclude that public opinion required a nephew 
to cane a man for insulting an uncle by words used in legisla- 
tive debate, especially when the character of the uncle not only 
for chivalrous integrity, but for ability to defend himself, either 
by pistol or tongue, was established by a career of threescore 
years. 

To the caning, abstractly considered, I do not object. If it 
. were administered, not for the purpose of inflicting physical 
injury, but merely as chastisement to a pitiable coward, who 
took advantage of parliamentary privileges to spue his venom 
upon the fair fame of an absent and aged gentleman, and 
would neither retract, apologize, or fight, though, deeming the 
deed unnecessary to the character of the nephew, I should 
regard it as praiseworthy — or at least as indicating an impulsive 
soul whose faults leaned to virtue's side. 



■■'■Written prior to the death of Brooks. 
29* 



842 EXTRACTS FROM 

If the attack was unfair, and the blows were really inflicted 
without fair warning, and with injurious force, upon the head 
of the offending Senator whilst sitting in a helpless position, 
then the nephew acted the part of a cowardly and malicious 
wretch, whose conduct should be condemned by every man in 
whose heart the feeblest germ of magnanimity exists. 

From the lights before me, I am inclined to put the more 
favourable construction upon the performance of Brooks in the 
first act of The Gutta Percha Comedy. The fact of its trans- 
piring in the Senate Chamber, the Senate not being in session, 
will do to gammon the ignorant and gullible with, but does 
not affect the merits of the case. 

The performance of Brooks in the second act of the comedy 
is more difficult to comprehend. This star actor had presented 
himself before his audience — the nation — as a fighting man ; a 
man so sensitive to insult as to volunteer to cane a fellow-man 
for insulting his state and his uncle — the excuse for the 
caning being that the party caned would not accept a chal- 
lenge or resist an attack. 

Senator Wilson, after this, deliberately and grossly insults 
our sensitive and spunky hero, and refuses, upon being chal- 
lenged, to fight a duel, but intimates that an attack upon his 
person will be martialli/ responded to. Our hero does not 
cane this wordy warrior. This kind of consistency is too deep 
for me. 

It may be replied that Wilson was armed, and would have 
had every legal advantage of Brooks ; that he might have shot 
him down with impunity on the least appearance of an attack. 
Did Brooks attack Sumner because the latter was unprepared 'i 



"a book op thoughts and talk." 843 

Or because he believed he incurred no risk by doing so? If 
not, why so cautious when a goading personal insult tempted 
him to attack Wilson ? 

A clear head could easily have devised, and a brave heart 
could easily have executed, a plan to rob this more ferocious 
Senator of his legal advantages. How easy for such a one to 
have approached the man with the shooting-cane, and plea- 
santly said to him, in the presence of witnesses, " You are, I 
presume, under the impression that I design attacking you 
with ' Gutta Percha,' or some other dangerous weapon. Your 
apprehensions are entirely erroneous. I assure you, my dear 
sir, that I have no idea of endangering your life, or inflicting 
any serious physical injury upon you. I merely intend to spit 
in your face, or pull your nose, or both'^ — doing one or both 
while speaking, and being prepared to act according to the 
action of the party then and thus insulted. In this, or some 
similar way, I think Brooks might have degraded Wilson, or 
gotten up a fair fight — have saved himself from the charge of 
extra caution after having exhibited extra rashness, as well as 
from all imputations upon his courage, even though he might 
afterwards have evinced more discretion than valour in declin- 
ing to fight in Canada the only man who performed the farce 
of accepting one of his challenges. Thus, too, our actor might 
have ended the second act in the comedy with credit to him- 
self and his native South. 

The defenders of Brooks say, he is personally brave, but 
that his conduct was regulated by political and party considera- 
tions. His policy and partyism were, however, too profound 
for my comprehension. 



344 EXTRACTS FROM 

I can easily understand how a weak man could be so crazed 
by the eclat of caning a sitting Senator ; that eclat being occa- 
sioned not by the intrinsic merit of the deed, but by the posi- 
tion of the parties and the peculiarity of a political crisis, as to 
think, and thinking to declare, that one blow from his hand 
would have dissolved the Union. 

I can even conceive of a man silly enough thus to think and 
speak, who nevertheless possessed a sufficiency of patriotism 
and moral courage to withhold the fatal blow. 

But for a traitorous or fanatical ultraist, who avowedly 
desires a dissolution of the Union, to give the preservation of 
that Union as the reason for his forbearance, is as yet incom- 
prehensible to me. Perhaps I may solve the problem before 
completing my work on ^^ The Psychology of Creation.'' 

Combining my conversation with Brooks's friends in South 
Carolina, with the published history of his personal difficulties, 
I am inclined to think he is a clever fellow, moderately honest, 
generous, and brave ; who is governed more by the advice of 
acquaintances, the force of immediately surrounding circum- 
stances, and his guesses at what public opinion may be, than 
by the dictates of his own heart — in short, that his mind was 
either never very strong or has been weakened by education 
and vanity. 

The suspicion thus aroused relative to his intellectual imbe- 
cility, is confirmed, admitting him not to be a malicious traitor, 
by his disunionism. No sensible and truthful man will affirm 
that there has been as yet a moral or political necessity for a 
dissolution of the Union. 

Every honest man, capable of considering both sides of a 



"a book of thoughts and talk." 345 

question, will admit that disunion in advance of such a neces- 
sity is a disaster to be greatly dreaded. It follows, therefore, 
that all the present advocates of disunion, who are not de- 
liberately traitorous, belong to the narrow-minded, one-ideaed 
tribe. To Brooks, and all other members of it, I would, as a 
physician, kindly prescribe — 

^' There is, my friends, in every one of you, an inherent 
tendency to monomania. Pour cold water on your fanaticism, 
by reading conservative works and attempting to think con- 
servative thoughts. By pursuing this course you may be use- 
ful to your family, and escape the lunatic asylum. If, however, 
the one-ideaism begins to take possession of you, and you find 
mischief brewing in your soul, concentrate your mind upon 
some minor arson. Do not apply the torch of treason to this 
great temple of human liberty." 



PAULINE. 

Extract ending a business letter to one whose grief for the 
loss of a daughter, just budding into womanhood, seemed in- 
consolable : — 

'^ My views of life do not prevent me from sympathizing 
with the sorrows of the living, and the reason why I deem it 
selfish to regret the death of those who die young, are so truth- 
fully and beautifully suggested in the following verse, I have 
concluded to transcribe it, hoping it may mitigate your sorrow 
by causing you to regard death not as the enemy, but as the 
friend of your lovely and beloved Pauline. 



3i6 EXTRACTS FROM 

**'And she was young, and fair, and bright, 
Her heart all joy, her hopes all light. 
With laughter in her glancing eyes, 
Her speech all jest and pleasantries. 
Sorrow as yet no gloom had flung 
O'er her young brow — unstirred still hung 
The spangled vail, through which gay youth 
Looks out upon the field of truth. 
Care had not yet displaced one fold, 
The future's history was untold.' 



1 



" Pleasant should be tlie melancholy of him who sees a loved 
one exchange earth for heaven, just hefore reality begins to 
strangle in its icy grasp the imaginings and hopes of the young 
and pure heart. 

Your friend, 

W. Atson.'* 



Mercy and Justice are not two separate attributes The 
former is an essential constituent of the latter. Justice being 
nothing more nor less than Mercy judiciously or wisely ad- 
ministered. 



A GEORGIA LAWYER. 

Col. G., an experienced lawyer of high standing, resides 

here. He is a member of the Church, and possesses 

the confidence of the entire community, so far as I know, both 
in regard to his piety and legal ability. I employed him as 
counsel for Smith & Co. To commence the suit, required the 
giving of a bond for twenty-five hundred dollars, as security 



"A BOOK OF THOUGHTS AND TALK." 347 

for costs, these Cvosts not to exceed twenty-five dollars, and to 
be paid by Smitli only, in case they could not be recovered 
from the defendants. 

I said to the colonel, " Neither I nor the house of Smith & 
Co. know any one here upon whom we have the least claim. 
It seems to me, as we are strangers, and employing you, you 
might risk signing such a bond for a house you know to be 
wealthy and respectable. To prevent, however, the least 
possibility of loss, I will deposit the twenty-five dollars with 
you." 

He remarked, that, before " coming of age," he had resolved 
never to sign any paper of the kind, and could not, without 
violating principles upon which he had been acting all his life, 
subscribe his name to this one. 

Having made up my mind to employ another attorney, I 
was indifferent about his accommodating me, but just in the 
way of an indignant protest replied, 

" You admit there is not the possibility of loss, that there 
is no risk; and yet you would allow a fellow-man, simply 
because he is a stranger, to lose twelve hundred dollars, 
rather than take a nominal risk for twenty-five dollars, the 
amount risked being deposited in your own hands as security." 

'^ Yes," said he, " you state the case correctly, but I cannot 
do what you desire without departing from my principles." 

'' Then, sir," I remarked, " permit me to say you have very 
bad principles. I am a close, prudent, business man. I have 
a family, I know what poverty is, but I tell you, candidly and 
considerately, I would rather break a thousand times than act 
upon such principles." 



348 EXTRACTS FROM 

The Colonel astonished me by instantly replying, ^^ I'll sign 
the bond/^ My astonishment originated not only from the 
fact that my tone was not persuasive, but also from the consi- m 
deration that this gentleman was a man of unusual firmness 
and force of character. The result only proves or rather 
strengthens the opinion elsewhere expressed, that men do not 
generally design to deceive others, but deceive themselves into 
error. Make them realize exactly their position, and if erro- 
neous there are but few who will not rectify it. 

Had I withheld a candid expression of my sentiments, I 
should have bid farewell to the Colonel, under the abiding con- 
viction that he was a cold-blooded scoundrel. I saw a good 
deal of him after our interview, and now believe him to have 
a warm, honest heart, cloaked by a stern and chilling aspect. 



A TALK ABOUT FIGHTING. BE PEACEABLE IF YOU 
CAN— FIGHT IF YOU MUST. 

Whilst the self-conceited and silly are always blundering, 
and always defending themselves — rarely perceiving and never 
acknowledging their errors — the sensitive, conscientious, and 
sensible are ever acknowledging their misdeeds, and bemoan- 
ing their inconsistencies. 

The first of the preceding statements is explained by its 
own terms. The second is solved by a consideration of the fact 
that the humble and the good frequently do believe and teach 
one thing, and practise another. They act thus because their 
theory of right is wrong. When they depart from their theory 



"a book of thoughts and talk." 349 

under the pressure or tlie light of circumstances, instead of 
re-examining it, they acknowledge they have erred, and con- 
tinue repeating their acknowledgments and infractions, — the 
original infractions and the subsequent repetitions being pro- 
duced not by a disposition to do wrong, but by their common 
sense and their sense of duty to themselves, being illumined 
at the moment by the light of their peculiar position. These . 
persons forget that there is no general rule without an ex- 
ception. 

Murder is sinful, and, except the crime of unchastity in 
woman, is the greatest of crimes. Yet murder is not always 
a crime. It is sometimes commendable. There are some 
crimes the law cannot reach. To appeal to the law for redress 
in relation to them is disgraceful. Where this is clearly the 
case, I understand the great Organizer of society, by this appa- 
rent oversight, to have said to the injured, "I throw upon 
you the responsibility of obtaining restitution for yourself." 
Based upon this view of the subject, is the belief that the 
husband, the father, the brother, the son ought to kill coolly, 
deliberately, and good-humouredly, without giving him the 
least chance of self-defence, the man, who unjustly defames 
his wife, daughter, sister, mother, and will not retract the 
defamatory charge, so completely, frankly, and publicly, as 
to reinstate them in their original unimpeached condition. 

For an honourable, sensitive, and brave man to do such a 
deed simply from a sense of duty to the sex and society, would 
require great moral courage. 

Notwithstanding my belief in its propriety, deliberately 

formed without any occurrence, past, present, or prospective 
30 



350 EXTRACTS FROM 

to excite me, I should be tempted to give the slanderer a 
chance for his life, by equally risking my own. To yield to 
the temptation would be wrong. 

Such an act should be performed after due reflection, with- 
out the stimulus of anger or revenge. Nor should it be per- 
petrated merely to vindicate or restore the character of the 
traduced person, which it has very little tendency to affect. 
If performed at all, it should be performed simply as an act 
of duty, to teach the world the holiness of chastity — the pecu- 
liar sanctity of woman's fair fame ; and to warn the deliberate 
slanderer or the careless talker that he must calculate before 
speaking, whether the pleasure of reporting evil is equal to the 
pain of risking the forfeit of his life. The above is an ex- 
treme case. The defence of one's character should be con- 
ducted on somewhat similar principles. At least no passion, 
no revenge should characterize self-defence. Each one should 
calmly teach the fact, whenever opportunity offers, that his 
moral standing cannot be assailed with impunity. The idea that 
spitting in the face, cowhiding, tapping with a cane, are gross 
insults, the failure to avenge which stamps the insulted with 
hopeless ignominy, whilst the pitiable being, who calmly receives 
the grossest attacks upon his moral character, deserves praise, 
is perfectly ridiculous. This doctrine is worthy of the silliest 
age of the world. It teaches our children to place the physi- 
cal above the moral, to overestimate the lick, to underrate 
THE LIE. It would, but that the heart of the generous and 
noble instinctively rebels against it, undermine the chivalry, 
and eradicate the courage of the race. 

Duelling is not in and of itself sinful. It may, under some 



A BOOK OF THOUGHTS AND TALK. 



351 



circumstances, be not only not sinful, but absolutely essential 
to tlie interests of society. Let public opinion, wliicb bas 
been invoked for centuries, yield to tbe invocations of the 
unthinking or timid, and invariably fix a stain upon the escut- 
cheon of him who resents an insult to his family or himself, 
and in three generations the Union will become a nation not 
'only of slanderers, but of adulterers, rogues, and cowards. 
The propriety or impropriety of fighting depends on the pecu- 
liar circumstances of each case. The pugnacious party cannot 
escape the responsibility of his act. An error resulting in 
blood, though invisible to the most scrutinizing spectator or 
skilful attorney, will torment its perpetrator forever. Its 
ghostly aspect will haunt him always. 

"^ To decide upon the offence to the public, and to counteract 
the efforts of the mean and malicious to simulate for rascally pur- 
poses the feelings of the generous and brave, a jury of twelve 
fellow-citizens, though liable to err, is the best possible tribu- 
nal. " The code of honour;' in duelling hoohs, should never 
he followed one iota farther than it accords with the code of 
honour in the heart. Some of the regulations of the former 
are very silly. For instance, I, as a second, must fight a man 
to whom I am not inimical, because he thinks my principal is 
not, and that I am, a gentleman. 

In such a case, if the principal be a gentleman, and not a 
coward, his heart would tell him to break through all artificial 
restraints, and say to his second, "You shall not fight my 
battles; I will make my enemy retract or fight, or I'll degrade 
him by some gross insult.'^ 

Again, a man insults me, and cannot be induced to make 



352 EXTRACTS FROM 



the ^^ amende honorable." I call him to account. He 
chooses weapons or a mode of fighting to which I am not 
accustomed, thereby increasing the chances, after having 
injured my character, of destroying my life without equally 
risking his own. The duelling code would require me to 
accede to the terms however unfair. In such a case, I think 
the challenger should denounce his adversary's plan as unjust 
and cowardly; and propose weapons and a mode of warfare 
equally or more dangerous, which would be undoubtedly fair 
to both. In this proposition the farce of little pistols at ten 
steps should be guarded against, as well as any arrangement 
which would necessarily involve the crime of suicide — as 
applying a match to a keg of powder, or a breast to breast fire- 
arm fight. 

Again, duelling is regarded as a test of courage, and yet no 
provision has been instituted to render the test a fair one. 

One man takes his position on the duelling ground without 
the aid of artificial stimuli to sustain his nerves. He is calm 
and fearless. The other appears equally brave, but his senses 
are benumbed by a narcotic, or his hopes excited or his fears 
allayed by alcohol. 

The former faces the danger with a clear perception of all 
the disagreeable consequences which can possibly result there- 
from correctly daguerreotyped upon his mind. The views of 
the other are distorted. He is partially deranged — and either 
perceives no danger, or foresees no disagreeable sequences 
resulting from it, or is temporarily reckless of them. 

One of these men is honest, for no man, but the most hard- 
ened of villains, could thus fight without being honest, and 



n 



353 

reposes grandly upon his faith and his courage. The other 
may be a scoundrel, whose courage is only bolstered up by 
vanity and liquor. And yet the duelling code and public opi- 
nion place them on an equality. 

From these considerations I educe the following conclusion. 
A sober and sensible man should not be required to meet on 
the field of honour one who is drunk, deranged, or reckless. 
Therefore the former should have the privilege of saying, 
either when challenging or being challenged, " I will meet you 
provided it be agreed that, just before proceeding to fight, each 
of us shall swear on the Holy Evangelists, that he has not, for 
a week previously, imbibed any opiate, or alcoholic stimulant, 
that he has taken nothing within that period which could 
stupify or intoxicate, in short, nothing stronger than cofi'ee.'^ 

These are some of the weak points in the duelling code. 
Its strong point is that if men must fight, they had better 
fight deliberately and fairly, than resort to accidental street 
encounters, where there is no system, but little fairness, and 
the lives of bystanders are endangered. Though I regard 
personal fights as sometimes right, I do not forget that a con- 
scientious man, not averse to duelling, might be surrounded by 
circumstances which would justify him in declining a chal- 
lenge. The absolute dependence of a helpless family upon 
his daily labour, or the necessity of trying to preserve his life 
in order to pay debts already contracted, might afford grounds 
of justification for such an act. This gives cowards a chance 
to whine and lie out of a fight, but the community can gene- 
rally discriminate between the cowardly and mean and the 
honest and brave. And even if it could not, the man, who 
30* 



854 EXTRACTS PROM 

could calmly bear, for a good cause, the undeserved imputation 
of cowardice, should be very happy in contemplating the sub- 
limity of his own courage, and the ease with which he could 
convince the world of its existence should a change of circum- 
stances render the exhibition of it accordant with his sense of 
right and justice. 

This abstruse subject is a source of great perplexity to 
parents. If they say to their children, ^^ Never take an insult,'' 
the latter may become resentful, reckless, or fussy. If they 
say ^^ Don't fight, I'll whip you," the little ones may become 
weakly amiable, or cowardly. 

The subject is easily simplified. 

First. Teach your children, both girls and boys, to be afraid 
of nothing in God's universe but moral error. Begin this 
lesson as soon as they can walk. The first thing of which 
they are afraid is " the dark." Under some pretence or other 
coax or bribe them into the habit of going into it by them- 
selves. Dismiss or whip the nurse if she permits ghost stories 
to be told in their hearing. Although it will be proper for 
you to familiarize them with the term ghost, to comment on 
the improbability of their ever appearing, and the ridiculous- 
ness, even though one should appear, of being afraid of a 
thing that never did hurt any person, and which, at the worst, 
only reminds the bad of their bad deeds, or forewarns the good 
of approaching evil. Not only so; take every opportunity to 
put in safe practice, and try by judicious tests the moral and 
physical courage of the little soldiers whose lives are to be one 
uninterrupted battle. Impress them also with an abiding 
conviction of the misery and meanness of cowardice, and the 



"A BOOK OP THOUGHTS AND TALK." 855 

happiness, glory, and power of true courage. Neglect not to 
teach them well what this latter quality is. Teach them that 
cowards may fight fearlessly and die gloriously in the hubbub 
of battle. Teach them that true courage consists in the ability 
to refrain from the commission of wrong irrespective of conse- • 
quences, and calmly, deliberately, alone, without the excitem,e7it 
or aid of artificial stimuli, or adventitious circumstances, to do 
ricrht all the time, and in the midst of the most frightful, the 
most heart-rending contingencies, with their eyes firmly riveted 
upon and clearly perceiving all the dangerous and disagreeable 
consequences which may possibly result from the act. 

Teach them that sometimes it would be cowardly to fight 
and brave to " back out ;" that in fact a brave man is the only 
sort of man who can '' back out" bravely or gracefully. 

This part of a child's education should be nearly completed 
by the time he is old enough to start to school. 

Secondly. Teach your children that it is their duty to exert 
themselves to the utmost limit compatible with honour to live 
peaceably. That war should ever be a dernier resort. 

Thirdly. Teach them to give liberally, and to exact nothing 
in return but respect. 

Fourthly. Teach them that fighting from anger, malice, or 
revenge, is always wrong, and can never, under any circum- 
stances, be right, the actuating principle, the motive, being 
sinful in and of itself. 

Fifthly, and finally. Teach them not only to respect you as 
a parent, but to love and confide in you as a companion. They 
will then make you their confidants, and tell you the story of 
their tiny battles and their tiny trials. In this way you will 



356 EXTRACTS FROM H 

learn their views, and can rectify the mistakes of the little 
blunderers, as they err in attempting to practise your appa- 
rently conflicting precepts. 



MACAULAY. THE TWO KINGS. CATHOLICISM. 

It is strange that Macaulay, in his luminous exposition of 
the characters of Charles and James, should have failed to 
perceive, or perceiving should have omitted to tell, why these 
depraved monarchs clung with such tenacity to the Roman 
Catholic faith. 

Too weak to break the fetters of habitual vice, and too 
cowardly to walk unaided by hope in the pathway of crime, 
their only escape from the dread of future punishment was a 
resort to confession and priestly absolution. This was a more 
facile way of salvation than reformation. 

Under the influence of the illusory hopes it inspired, Charles 
could indulge with complacency his polished selfishness, and 
participate, without forebodings of evil, in his fascinating 
amours. 

On his death-bed, he became unhappy. The priest ascended 
the secret staircase, upon and down which the frail fair had 
been accustomed to glide, and whispered absolution in his ear. 
After this the king was calm, happy, brave, and pleasantly 
apologized to his nurses for taking so long to die, though the 
vices of perjury, adultery, and the progeny of social evils to 
which they give rise, still nestled in his heart or hovered 
about his couch. 



"a book op thoughts and talk." 357 

In the same way, the same hope of redemption through con- 
fession and absolution cheered his brother, the ungodly- 
James, through his long life of crime, unredeemed by a 
solitary virtue. 

Is not the same doctrine of absolution, of forgiveness through 
the interposition of another without any moral effort on their 
part, or any metastasis in the moral status of their soul, the 
cause of the erratic career of many weak-minded Protestants ? 
Is it certain that this dogma, concealed under different forms 
and clouded in a mist of different words, is not lodged in the 
hearts of as many Protestants as Catholics, the ratio of intelli- 
gence being considered ? 

Does not a large proportion of the Protestant world design 
to live as they list, and to repent and be converted just before 
they die ? If the risk were not too great, would they not 
postpone confession, absolution, conversion, to the hour of 
death's approach, or at least till after they had made their 
wills ? 



POPERY. 

I HAVE been taught to regard Popery as Antichrist, stifling 
liberty, and crushing Christianity by keeping the minds of the 
masses darkened by ignorance. I have as yet learned nothing 
calculated to change this conviction. It is, however, evident 
that no system reposing on such a base can flourish in a 
country of free presses, free thinkers, and general intelligence. 

My position about Popery is therefore this. If my preju- 
dices against it are well founded, it cannot flourish here — the 



358 EXTRACTS FROM 

atmosphere of established liberty will kill it. If they are with- 
out foundation, the lovers of freedom of conscience, should 
not object to giving it a fair chance. 

Let us, therefore, fight the supposed monster ; not, however, 
by foul means, or unfair laws, violative of our own most 
cherished principles, but with fireside instruction, with schools, 
with books, with the pen, and the press. 



THE HUSBAND OF A FAST WOMAN. 

You covet, cheat, lie, steal, break the Sabbath, and violate, 
item by item, the balance of the moral law, do you ? Yes. 
You are not the submissive, smiling husband of a fast woman, 
are you ? No sir-ree. Well, then, your case is not hopeless. 
There is a lower abysm of masculine degradation to which you 
have not yet descended. You are not, therefore, so low but 
that you may attempt to ascend. 



DANCING, SWEARING, &c. 

Teach a child that dancing is as sinful as lying, and when 
he becomes old he may do both. 



"CONFOUND." 

Teach the young that it is as bad to say " confound'^ as to 
take the name of the Lord in vain, and they will swear like 
troopers when out of hearing. 



A BOOK OF THOUGHTS AND TALK." 350 



THE WAY TO RETAIN PARENTAL INFLUENCE. 

The best way to retain parental influence is to teach your 
child the exact truth, remembering that truth is always sensible. 



THE EFFECT OF SUCH TEACHING. 

By pursuing affectionately this plan, the weird influences of 
parental instruction will extend beyond the rod-epoch, and be 
ever the starlight by which the child, through manhood's 
prime and life's decline, will attempt to find the right path in 
every hour of darkness and bewilderment. 



HOW TO SWEAR. 

Persons of irascible or impetuous dispositions, have an 
innate and almost unconquerable proneness not only to vehe- 
ment expression, but to the use of by-words. Resist this 
proclivity to the utmost of your ability ; but, if it will speak 
out, do not let it take the name of the Lord in vain. Say 
" Dad drap it," " Thunder and lightning," " the Devil and all 
his angels," or something of the sort. 

Some pious people had as lief say '' God" as " the Devil." 
I never heard of the latter personage objecting to the irreverent 
use of his name. The Bible contains no command against it, 
and I am inclined to think, from my acquaintance with the 
old fellow, that he rather likes to be called on. 



360 EXTRACTS FBOM 



MISS NELLIE ATSON. 



i 



Miss Nellie, now nearly midway between the years of two 
and three, had been looking at the pictures in Harper, and 
listening to the reading of the remarks annexed to them. A 
few days afterwards, her mother said, " What do you intend 
doing when Pa sells out?" and was astonished by her promptly 
replying, partly in her own language, partly in the words of 
the book, '' I am going to town -, I ain't agoing to poke myself 
in the country." 



LETTER OF INTRODUCTION. 

Memphis, Auo-ust 15, 1854. 
Messrs. Smith & Co. 

Gentlemen :— My friend. General T., visits your city on 
business. Though a Congressman, he is a trustworthy gentle- 
man. Any attention you may show him will be duly appre- 
ciated by 

Yours respectfully, 

William Atson. 



" THE WOMAN'S LAW/' 



Nature designed, and Revelation elucidates and enforces 
with emphatic reiteration the idea and the command contained 
in this design, that the married pair should be one ; that, to 

this end, their interest should not be similar, but the same 

the wife to be the purer, the better, but the comparatively 



"A BOOK OF THOUGHTS AND TALK/' 361 

passive half of this unit; the husband the "go-ahead," worldly, 
out of doors, active half. 

Anything calculated to change this position of the parties, 
must therefore be a sin against Nature and Kevelation — can- 
not benefit the woman, and necessarily degrades the man. 

An active woman generally becomes masculine in her feel- 
ings and manners. A woman with such feelinp;s and manners 
is an object of disgust to the refined of the other sex. At 
least she loses the appearance of that feminine delicacy, which 
is the magic charm that excites in every true man a tender 
affection for every true woman, whose passing form he sees, 
whose softly-rustling garments, or light tread, he hears. 

A passive man is an abortion. An active man, reduced to 
passivity, is a slave. If the slavery be the result of circum- 
stances beyond his control, he may bear it with heroic stoi- 
cism ; or fret away existence in struggling to break the bars 
of his cage. If it be inherited, he may be happy. But wilful 
slavery — slavery produced by the barter of one's own freedom, 
or any fault of the party enslaved, though the fetters be 
golden, and woman's fair hands keep the prison's keys — is a 
degraded and degrading position. And he who habitually 
and knowingly occupies such a position, if not originally 
' mean, will inevitably become so. 

" The ^Voman's Law" possesses this reversing tendency : 

It destroys the oneness of the married pair. 

It makes a partnership of marriage. 

It renders woman active and masculine. 

It emasculates and degrades man. 

It teaches that woman should trust her body and her soul 
31 



362 EXTRACTS FROM 

to the custody of one, with whom she is afraid to trust her 
purse. 

It makes money the prime object of marriage. 

It tends to increase the mercenary spirit of the age. 

The scuffles of man for a livelihood^ renders almost all men 
mercenary ; and would manacle them with Mammon's frigid 
fetters, were it not for tJie home) the wifely influence. 

"The Woman's Law" tends to undermine this influence. 
It will make the wife mercenary. A mercenary wife will be 
a mercenary mother. A mercenary mother will rear mer- 
cenary children. Mercenary children will after a while con- 
stitute a mercenary society ; and a tJioroughli/ mammonized 
Society contains within its hosom fewer living seeds of good, 
and inspires less hope of redemption than any other social 
organization. 

" The Woman's Law'^ is popular with some good men, be- 
cause they regard it as a chivalrous restriction of their rights 
and privileges, for the benefit of the weaker sex. 

Every one who has read my writings, and is capable of 
comprehending my character, knows when rn,an^s interests and 
feelings clash with those of women and children, I would pay 
no more attention to the former than to those of a rhinoceros. 

My opposition to this law is, therefore, based upon the 
belief, that it does not benefit these more helpless classes. 

The fact that it tends to unwomanize woman, and mam- 
monize society, establishes the correctness of this opinion. 

But to descend to a more commonplace view of the subject. 
This law will not henefit the fair sex, or the orphan-child, in 
the mere matter of property. 



^^A BOOK OF THOUGHTS AND TALK." 363 

Any tolerable husband of a good wife can induce her to 
sign any business paper, the signature of which he may deem 
important to his interests. 

No good wife would, through fear of pecuniary loss — that 
fear being suggested merely by her own fancy or judgment — ^in 
such a case act in direct opposition to the heartfelt wishes and 
earnest entreaties of a husband whom she loved and respected. 
Rather than deliberately and practically say to such a hus- 
band, " I have no respect for you, I think I understand the 
pecuniary interests of our family better than you," the affec- 
tionate, womanly wife, would not only act counter to the 
timid whispers of her own unpractised judgment, but fear- 
lessly face the certainty of pecuniary loss. 

The commercial result of this law in practice is, therefore, 
as follows : — 

If the husband desires to enter into any selfish scheme — 
into dissipation, extravagance, speculation — the good wife's 
purse is almost always accessible. 

If he desires her signature, her hand is almost always ready 
to do his bidding. 

Thus she is ever liable to lose her property, and the Law 
in her case is rendered null and void. When, however, one 
of these overseer husbands — one of these legal underlings of 
the wife, WHO IS NOT EXACTLY HONEST — becomes too deeply 
involved, or the speculation for their mutual benefit fails, or 
non-payment would indicate great financial ability and "remu- 
nerate handsomely," he suddenly loses control of his wife's 
purse and hand, secretly persuades her to claim her rights, to 
be obstinate in resisting his public entreaties in behalf of his 



SG4 EXTRACTS FROM 

defrauded creditors^ and thereby makes the good-woman an 
aider and abettor of his fraud. The Law is successful — the 
property is retained in the wife's possession for her benefit, 
the benefit of her rascally husband, and their children ; hut 
has not tlie fraud, suggested and consummated hy the LaWy 
injured to an equal extent, THE WIFE AND CHILDREN OF THE 
DEFRAUDED PARTY ? 

Thus, you perceive ^' The Woman's Law" rarely benefits good 
women, and may frequently be the means of involving them in 
dishonour; and that it generally benefits only the Amazon 
wife, or the rascally husband — the one a hideous hypertrophy 
— the other a miserable wretch who can live in luxury, and 
meet, without fear, and without a blush ; who does not even 
permit his children, begotten by a rogue, born of a rogue, and 
reared in roguery, to associate with the honest man and the 
honest wife and children his depravity has kept in, or reduced 
to, poverty. 

Another evil efi'ect of this law is, recklessness in marrying. 
A fascinating, apparently amiable, ^^ whole-soul,'' ^' hail-fellow- 
well-met," visits a girl possessed of some property, and renders 
himself agreeable to her. She likes him better than any other 
suitor ; loves him somewhat ; thinks she loves him well enough 
to marry him; never doubts that this careless, "warm-hearted," 
popular fellow, who doesnH love money at all, will love and 
cherish her. She regards his inability to make a support, and 
his ability to spend money, as the only objection to theirunion 
of hands and their union of hearts ; reflects that " The Wo- 
man's Law" removes this objection, and consents to tie herself 
to him by the indissoluble bond. 



"A BOOK OF THOUGHTS AND TALK." 865 

Poor, inexperienced yirl! By the time she hecomes the 
mother of sundry infantile dependants upon her maternal 
solicitude, she discovers that any law can he easily evaded; 
that the law which seduced her into marriage with a spend- 
thrift does not prevent that spendthrift's family from becoming 
bankrupt; and that of all the men who tread the green earth, 
your popular, "whole-soul," "good-natured," "generous," 
smiling, self-indulgent man, whitened with only a eoatxng of 
surface-amiaUlUy, is the most diabolically and hopelessly 

selfish. 

The positions above assumed, might, we think, be demon- 
strated by facts drawn from the legal archives of Mississippi 
and Louisiana. Reference to the same records would also 
exhibit a large increase of family dissensions, divorces, and 
"grass widows." But I prefer for the present to rest the 
argument upon general principles, believing that reflection 
will teach men possessing common sense that every army 
should have a commander-in-chief, every monarchy a monarch, 
every republic a president, every family a head; that Nature 
and Revelation designate man as the head of the family, and 
that the tendency of the woman's law is to dethrone him, to 
derange the family government, and consequently U> injure 

the family and society. 
31* 



366 EXTRACTS FROM 



WHAT GOD IS. 

God is a glorious reality. As, however, the finite cannot 
comprehend infinitude, man's views of the Deity must be par- 
tial. And these partial glances at the Infinite are apt to 
beget in the mind an incorrect ideal of Him — the incorrectness 
being in proportion to the moral obhquity, mental deficiency, 
or improper education of the observer. 

Each man's God is his Ideal of the greatest, wisest, best of 
beings; this ideal being almost universally a rectified and 
enlarged personification of himself. Some good persons are 
even afraid to do their Creator this justice. They say it is 
not right to judge the Infinite by their finite selves; and 
searching by the light of this ignis fatuus, they catch glimpses 
of the Devil and mistake him for God. Such are those who 
attribute to " our Father who art in Heaven,'' to Omniscience, 
irascibility, petulance, snappishness, revenge, cruelty. 

We cannot see the whole of God, but our miniature ideal 
of Him should be perfect. 



THE TEN COMMANDMENTS. 

I DEFY any mathematician or metaphysician to make any 
calculation, or construct any argument by which he can, even 
on the admission that there is no future state of existence, 
make it appear reasonable that a violation of the moral law, as 



"A BOOK OF THOUGHTS AND TALK." 367 

contained in the Ten Commandments, can, in any imaginable 
circumstances incident to human life, benefit the violator ; or, 
in otber words, to show a probability that the product of an 
intelligent obedience to them can be anything but happiness. 



FINIS. 

To dream of doing good is pleasant. The effort to do good 
is a rill of enjoyment flowing to the heart. I have thus 
dreamed— I have made such an effort— I have had my reward. 
But if, in the coming time, or the illimitable hereafter, I 
should discover that I have suggested a good thought to any 
human being ; shown the right path to any bewildered travel- 
ler; soothed the melancholy of any despairing unbeliever; 
cheered the slowly moving hours of any sufferer; taught a 
loftier courage to any man ; inspired any feeble woman, waver- 
ing amid the temptations, the vanities, the vices of society, 
with a profounder antipathy to the sin of sins, the sin against 
her sex ; stimulated any husband to the exhibition of more 
love and tenderness for the wife of his bosom; excited a 
greater hatred to sectionalism in the heart of any patriot ; or, 
above all, prevented any youthful pilgrim tottering in the dark, 
along the slippery, jagged edges of life's precipice, from taking 
the first false step ; or persuaded any careless parent to watch 
his children as the miser does his purse ; to study their infan- 
tile hearts and minds; to love these household joys, and mani- 
fest this love by affectionate deeds appreciable by them ; to 



368 EXTRACTS. 



1 



seek their true interests, and so to educate as to mature tliem 
into useful men and women, capable of happiness in any con- 
ceivable contingency, I shall be more than compensated : the 
river of fruition will overflow my soul with its electrifying 
ecstasies. 



THE END. 



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